Divorce and re-marry
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Are you a little too sensitive? Calling you "wei" and you get fed-up? Don't sweat the little things in life or you will have a hard time going through life.Originally posted by father_and_son:Met my wife in HK last friday evening. Same kinda of attitude, but better than that day she is sobbing and wanting a divoice... I think partly its becos i done my work to sent her 50 roses to her in HK 2 days before V-day ..
But still kinda turn-down attitude to me, as if i owe her a life's time money. Its visible that certain action does show concern to me and know what i want without asking. Not to be too sensitive if im right, but i jus want to be appreciative. Furthermore, she still telling the world that she will never return to SG again.
today happen an incident where i cant endure any longer... U know every has a name,, and she keep yelling at me, Wei!!, Wei!! ... its in the public, many people, and its loud that every can hear and notice her. Im telling myself "Am i your pet, or a stranger to you?I have a name and im your husband!" "Wei!, Wei! come here. Wei! Wei! "
I got face off and by ignoring her initially, till she come nears me.. She still keep calling ,, "Wei!!, Deaf!! Mr Deaf!! Wei!! .. While busy looking my son, I turn back and reply her "I DONT HAVE A NAME?, WHO ON EARTH DO I KNOW THAT YOU ARE CALLING ME?" ... She show anger by walking back ...
Life is sucxx.!!... But its gets better after reunion dinner by calling my name.... Some how, that kinda piss-off attitude is with her.. On the other hand im appreciative of some of her concern is showing. ..
Oh well.. I think i would like to share a fair bit of my update the forums ... Any opinions, comments, advise, criticisms, etc are welcome .. In all, the situation is optimistic. She show being happy living in HK, and i cant perceive whats inside her heart.
My experience is that since she is willing to meet you in HK and your marriage seems to be going on, continue like this and see what happens next. One day at a time. You do your best and if she gives you divorce papers than you know it is the end. She threatens to divorce you but you don't threaten back than things will turn out well in the end.
Maybe you will have a long distance relationship for the time being and wait for something to turn up, like you get retrenched in Singapore (hahaha, I am so bad) and find a better job in HK.
Personally, if I were you I will stay in Hong Kong. I like countries where, when the people protest, the government do not raise the GST even if they feel that it is right to raise it. They respect people's views.
I like Singapore better now than Singapore 5 years ago (after the changes these few years) but still HK or Bangkok is better anytime... -
You didnt get my point.Originally posted by father_and_son:This is Singapore and HK, not USA.. There is no natural resource, land is scarce, and where the only resource is HUMAN .. Government here dont support pension or any form of long term $$$ relief. May say calculative, but I just want to be very cautious.
I am Singaporean, one year your senior, divorced & has a 3rm HDB flat. Lived, work & had my whole life in Singapore. I ride motorcycles for touring, I have the full range of every conceivable riding & driving licences from Singapore. And I only have a 'o' level.
I worked in Legal, Purchasing, Touristy stuffs, waitressing & Human Resources. I know how tough it is to grow attached to your style of living until something else better pops up. Or until you are disillusioned!
Losing one of you, Singapore will still keep running and upping GST, ERPs and whats nots.
But losing your family, which do you think will hurt the most?
You have so far not mentioned how old your son is, what's your financial status like or what your family supports are.
All you are reading here are the general crap we see on any other forum everyday.
And from your topic title, it looks like you are planning for the worse. (Mind you, not prepared, but very obviously plotting for the worse.) -
Here's advise for you.
Dont grow attached and think your world revolve around Singapore, Does it revolve around yourself & your family?
Now on holiday with wife for CNY rite.
Talk to her, see what kind of finances she need. Discuss with her the future of your son, afterall, he would still need to serve NS when it comes.
Sons education, is it better for him to be educated in SG or HK? Both of you has to come to terms with his future.
even if divorce, he is still your son, and he needs your finances to eat, study & play. (Or you were planning to give that up to your wife?)
Goes back to Singapore to work.
But if truly you misses your family and wishes to at least work your marriage out.
rent out your current home and goes over for 2 years. use that 2 years to also pick up skills in HK. Treat it as a sabbatical. -
Hmm...Originally posted by father_and_son:Met my wife in HK last friday evening. Same kinda of attitude, but better than that day she is sobbing and wanting a divoice... I think partly its becos i done my work to sent her 50 roses to her in HK 2 days before V-day ..
But still kinda turn-down attitude to me, as if i owe her a life's time money. Its visible that certain action does show concern to me and know what i want without asking. Not to be too sensitive if im right, but i jus want to be appreciative. Furthermore, she still telling the world that she will never return to SG again.
today happen an incident where i cant endure any longer... U know every has a name,, and she keep yelling at me, Wei!!, Wei!! ... its in the public, many people, and its loud that every can hear and notice her. Im telling myself "Am i your pet, or a stranger to you?I have a name and im your husband!" "Wei!, Wei! come here. Wei! Wei! "
I got face off and by ignoring her initially, till she come nears me.. She still keep calling ,, "Wei!!, Deaf!! Mr Deaf!! Wei!! .. While busy looking my son, I turn back and reply her "I DONT HAVE A NAME?, WHO ON EARTH DO I KNOW THAT YOU ARE CALLING ME?" ... She show anger by walking back ...
Life is sucxx.!!... But its gets better after reunion dinner by calling my name.... Some how, that kinda piss-off attitude is with her.. On the other hand im appreciative of some of her concern is showing. ..
Oh well.. I think i would like to share a fair bit of my update the forums ... Any opinions, comments, advise, criticisms, etc are welcome .. In all, the situation is optimistic. She show being happy living in HK, and i cant perceive whats inside her heart. -
I have access to her email, and that is without her knowing. To my surprise,,, my wife has planned for a trip to japan. Hotel has been book with a room with double bed. Guess who she is with? Her Ex-boyfren ..
Should I continue to go on this relationship? And i only realise this without her knowing and her telling me... -
Hmm my buddy calls me OOOOOIIIIII all the time. i didnt even get upset with him.Originally posted by father_and_son:Met my wife in HK last friday evening. Same kinda of attitude, but better than that day she is sobbing and wanting a divoice... I think partly its becos i done my work to sent her 50 roses to her in HK 2 days before V-day ..
But still kinda turn-down attitude to me, as if i owe her a life's time money. Its visible that certain action does show concern to me and know what i want without asking. Not to be too sensitive if im right, but i jus want to be appreciative. Furthermore, she still telling the world that she will never return to SG again.
today happen an incident where i cant endure any longer... U know every has a name,, and she keep yelling at me, Wei!!, Wei!! ... its in the public, many people, and its loud that every can hear and notice her. Im telling myself "Am i your pet, or a stranger to you?I have a name and im your husband!" "Wei!, Wei! come here. Wei! Wei! "
I got face off and by ignoring her initially, till she come nears me.. She still keep calling ,, "Wei!!, Deaf!! Mr Deaf!! Wei!! .. While busy looking my son, I turn back and reply her "I DONT HAVE A NAME?, WHO ON EARTH DO I KNOW THAT YOU ARE CALLING ME?" ... She show anger by walking back ...
Life is sucxx.!!... But its gets better after reunion dinner by calling my name.... Some how, that kinda piss-off attitude is with her.. On the other hand im appreciative of some of her concern is showing. ..
Oh well.. I think i would like to share a fair bit of my update the forums ... Any opinions, comments, advise, criticisms, etc are welcome .. In all, the situation is optimistic. She show being happy living in HK, and i cant perceive whats inside her heart.
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I will not comment on access email thing.Originally posted by father_and_son:I have access to her email, and that is without her knowing. To my surprise,,, my wife has planned for a trip to japan. Hotel has been book with a room with double bed. Guess who she is with? Her Ex-boyfren ..
Should I continue to go on this relationship? And i only realise this without her knowing and her telling me...
But base on yr finding, she had cross the line as I think initially your might had suspected it. We just base on yr words, but in many case observation is needed to tell what she is up to. From the way she respond to you can tell whether is she hidden something from you. -
I have the intention to hire a Private Investigator to nail down the marital issue here..
Any recommendation will be appreciated. And anyone know the cost of a 4 days job in Japan? .. -
What good do u see in yr wife? All I can see is she is money sucker and attitude gal. Is becos of her beautiful appearance that blind u everything?
I will say she is not the type of gal u can handle. It is amazing u can get along with her for almost 3 yrs.... -
Hi very sad to hear your story.
I can only tell you my personal opinion. You may have yours.
Family is everything. If I want my son, I will bend over backwards ie I will stay in HK and try to make it work, especially if I don't really want to divorce.
Example: if your son was kidnapped, you will give up all your money for him and start all over again. Money can earn again. You do business, you lose money, its gone. Your family falls sick, your money gone. No guarantee, no planning can predict future. Tomorrow you get retrenched, no more job. Accident, gone also. Your guarantee is your ability. If you are capable and willing, you will rise to the level intended for you. But family is forever.
Your wife going to Japan with another guy: sorry I cannot really advise. But I try okay? You can pretend nothing happened, and stay together for the sake of your son, until someone initiates divorce. You can confront, but it will get ugly, and may even bring up the divorce issue, which you are trying to avoid. So the question is, do you still love her, is she worth fighting for? Is your son worth the humiliation (of your wife having an affair). Maybe the best is to see a marriage counsellor or mediator talk it out then see her reaction whether she follows through with it and be prepared for the outcome (ie if you hire a private investigator that presents proof what you will do then).
If divorce, child normally awarded to mother. Not sure if she is the wronging party. This you need to check with lawyer. -
Your latest revelations sound abit too staged. I doubt all is what you've described Anyway, I wish you well.
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Agrees.Originally posted by choco B:Your latest revelations sound abit too staged. I doubt all is what you've described Anyway, I wish you well.
Sounds too fake, and the story very loose all over the edges.
Plus the topic tittle......
Sounds like someone I know.
Patrick, is that you? -
thks for your opinion.Originally posted by virtualchick:Hi very sad to hear your story.
I can only tell you my personal opinion. You may have yours.
Family is everything. If I want my son, I will bend over backwards ie I will stay in HK and try to make it work, especially if I don't really want to divorce.
Example: if your son was kidnapped, you will give up all your money for him and start all over again. Money can earn again. You do business, you lose money, its gone. Your family falls sick, your money gone. No guarantee, no planning can predict future. Tomorrow you get retrenched, no more job. Accident, gone also. Your guarantee is your ability. If you are capable and willing, you will rise to the level intended for you. But family is forever.
Your wife going to Japan with another guy: sorry I cannot really advise. But I try okay? You can pretend nothing happened, and stay together for the sake of your son, until someone initiates divorce. You can confront, but it will get ugly, and may even bring up the divorce issue, which you are trying to avoid. So the question is, do you still love her, is she worth fighting for? Is your son worth the humiliation (of your wife having an affair). Maybe the best is to see a marriage counsellor or mediator talk it out then see her reaction whether she follows through with it and be prepared for the outcome (ie if you hire a private investigator that presents proof what you will do then).
If divorce, child normally awarded to mother. Not sure if she is the wronging party. This you need to check with lawyer.
My wife has been telling me to divorce twice recently, and she want me to file for it.. For my best knowledge, i doubt she can proceed with it, as i have not fall into any category below. Let me know if m wrong.
"...five reasons which have caused the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage stated in section 95(3) (a ) to (e) of the Woman's Charter has been satisfied. The most commonly used reason is unreasonable behaviour, which encompass behaviour such as violence, gambling, intimate association with third parties, insufficient payment of maintenance, the use of vulgarities or abusive language, or even reluctance to engage in sexual intercourse without valid reason. For adultery, the burden of proof appears to be higher, and invariably requires a private investigator's report, even if the hearing is uncontested. The other reasons are desertion and separation. The Court does not order costs to be paid by the Respondent in the case of a Divorce Petition based on 3 or 4 years separation." http://www.divorce.com.sg/page2.html
Secondly, for what purpose that she want a divorce? Based on her reason is
1) I dont love her anymore. This is based on her intuitive, which dont makes any logic sense.
2) She cannot accept any longer for life in SG is boring and unable to communicate with SG ppl well. She love shopping, spending money, tour, etc. I meant.. as family, all this leisure should be come second, as we already have a son to support his daily needs and education. Well,,, for leisure, cant she work and we plan for a tour? Till today, she still say that she will NOT return to SG.
For that,, i sense that there should be a third party involved. Else why she insist divorce, yet on the other hand, look appreciative towards me? Is she just genuine or simply cunning?
For the Japan tour with her ex-.,, I MUST pretend nothing happen,, cos if i confront her, she can actually shoot me back by saying i having been digging her privacy, and no mutual respect.
Be whatever reasons, I guess no married man in modern society can tolerate wife to be with another guy, WITHOUT my knowings? Am i a puppet? or just a chess set?
Seriously ,, Im consolidating facts, ideally source from a P.I. With no common interest and understanding in couple,, what worth is there to live on in a marriage? There are many more years to go, pal...
I would rather change the fate of my son.
arr.... this issue really bothers me so much.
BTW,, noting is fake here. Im trying to get more opinions and listen to more ppl . -
Originally posted by father_and_son:
Oh...she can proceed with it if she wants to. No doubt about it.
[b]
thks for your opinion.
My wife has been telling me to divorce twice recently, and she want me to file for it.. For my best knowledge, i doubt she can proceed with it, as i have not fall into any category below. Let me know if m wrong.
"...five reasons which have caused the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage stated in section 95(3) (a ) to (e) of the Woman's Charter has been satisfied. The most commonly used reason is unreasonable behaviour, which encompass behaviour such as violence, gambling, intimate association with third parties, insufficient payment of maintenance, the use of vulgarities or abusive language, or even reluctance to engage in sexual intercourse without valid reason. For adultery, the burden of proof appears to be higher, and invariably requires a private investigator's report, even if the hearing is uncontested. The other reasons are desertion and separation. The Court does not order costs to be paid by the Respondent in the case of a Divorce Petition based on 3 or 4 years separation." http://www.divorce.com.sg/page2.html
Even if she is the one being unfaithful. She can, and she will when she feels like it.
Reasons she isnt doing it yet, is because psychologically, she is much more focus on the bigger picture then you do.
And for that matter, you dont need a PI. You only need a lawyer. Getting a PI is a waste of money.
Go talk to a lawyer who is familiar with the Singapore Divorces and you will then understand that your craping up here in the forum is how silly. -
how do you know she has not been unfaithful yet?Originally posted by viciouskitty74:Oh...she can proceed with it if she wants to. No doubt about it.
Even if she is the one being unfaithful. She can, and she will when she feels like it.
Reasons she isnt doing it yet, is because psychologically, she is much more focus on the bigger picture then you do.
And for that matter, you dont need a PI. You only need a lawyer. Getting a PI is a waste of money.
Go talk to a lawyer who is familiar with the Singapore Divorces and you will then understand that your craping up here in the forum is how silly. -
I dont know.Originally posted by blu_sky:how do you know she has not been unfaithful yet?
But the point is. She can file for divorce even if she is the one being unfaithful.