Is chastity still valued?
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if the guy hangs everything abotu the relation on having sex, i guessing thats not a good man anyway.Originally posted by curiousOrange:You are in a pretty bad situation now.
If you refuse anything sexual totally, he will walk.
If you relent a little and give him more, he will be even more thristy. You will start hearing more theories from him that don't make sense.
It's a mismatch in the first place.
and yesh mismatch which is why i said dump him.
but some pple can't seem to understand
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You are a bit narrow minded and jumps to conclusions easily, no?Originally posted by hisoka:if the guy hangs everything abotu the relation on having sex, i guessing thats not a good man anyway.
and yesh mismatch which is why i said dump him.
but some pple can't seem to understand -
nay merely giving her the advice i feel is good.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:You are a bit narrow minded and jumps to conclusions easily, no?
she could always not listen to me of course.
i'm not narrow-minded, i can see alternative and do consider them. but why burden her with it? giving too nuch abd non-definitive advice often has the effect of confusing the seeker even more. -
hehehe... we don't really know her and we don't really know the guy.Originally posted by hisoka:nay merely giving her the advice i feel is good.
she could always not listen to me of course.
i'm not narrow-minded, i can see alternative and do consider them. but why burden her with it? giving too nuch abd non-definitive advice often has the effect of confusing the seeker even more.
I think it is normal for a guy to try his luck with his gf. If she stands firm and he continues with the relationship, then he is quite a nice guy what... not what you said: "if the guy hangs everything abotu the relation on having sex, i guessing thats not a good man anyway." -
This is kuri's chastity we are talking abt, so its her decision as to whom and when to give.
Her bf should respect her stand on this and not pressurizing her. Furthermore, she already gave her 1st kiss to him, which means alot already.
If he walks because he cant wait till she's ready (wedding nite or not), then he isnt the right guy for Kuri and vice versa. -
Regardless of if you have 'done' it before or not
it is still your choice to decide when to do it, how much to do
with your partner
Doesn't mean you do it before, means you have to do it with him also
It is your own personal choice
You dont 'owe' it to him to 'satisfy' him
and any guy who cannot respect that decision
and pressurise you by telling you it is moral crap
you should just dump
I mean this is your own principle, and just because he doesn't believe in it
means it has no value? I think it shows how much he respect you to begin with
It has nothing to do with how much chastity is still valued
but how much what YOU THINK and BELIEVE in is valued by him. -
With regards to? O_oOriginally posted by M©+square:Becoming personal?
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I believe in abstinence from sex until marriage...
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wah showing his true colours liao..
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Having s-e-x with him doesn't means that he loves you and will be with you "tian chang di jiu"...it'll be then " zhi zai hu chen jin yong you"....Meaning?
You're a "V"...and once he banged with a V, she's no longer a V...Then in his record book, you're the #57268013471969 "V"he has banged before...could hit the "Guiness World Book of Records"...
U're smart and you shld know what you wan and what he wan....
Note: Don't regret what you do... -
personally i feel that chasity and abstinence issues is each to his own.
the main point is.
to never regret your decisions and point your fingers at someone else for a blame.
In my personal point of view.
Chasity is subjective.
when you are in love with someone, you do not think of a break up.
for a woman, its like a precious thing that they chose to give their bf's saying something like " hey i decided, your a man worth it to have everything from me, ( and most of them would think they'll be together for a very very long time at that moment. ) ." so they decide to give something they treasure alot.
but if the relationship fails..
can you say that the woman doesnt value chasity cause she gave it to a man that she has now lost??
its the same thing as in a marriage, so you keep it till marriage, doesnt mean there wont be divorce and re-marriage right?
do you think that a man whose worth it wouldnt marry you jus because your not chase?
so wat? after that divorce ur not allowed to fall in love n re-marry?? would you be deemed not as valuable because you cannot offer the chasity to your 2nd husband??
chasity isnt about giving yourself to any men, boyfriend or husbands.
its about what you CHOSE to do with your body.
you do not hold your virginity because u hold a wish to offer a present in your marriage which is your chasity because guess that...
IT DOES NOT MATTER.
like it or not, nowadays, men rarely blame u if ur not a virgin.
the best gift in a marriage is understanding and devotion.
not your dam virginity.
, you hold yourself because you WANT IT FOR YOURSELF, not to give to anyone else.
don't blame it on the men on wanting it so much or watever.
they cannot force you to do what you do not want to do.
it also does not mean that because other people dun keep their virginity till marriage means they do not value chasity.
it could be then they thought they had found someone they could give it to but somehow circumstances isnt in their side.
if your guy wants it, if you dun feel like hes the one. then stop pondering so much and just tell him no.
if you feel like half way here half way there. then consider if your gonna regret your decisions, make sure that the next time for the rest of your life you wake up u will not blame the men.
because the decision only lies in ur hands, if you regret, only blame yourself, dun blame sum1 else for pressuring or watever.
because i belive everyone has a will power, has a mind.
even pressure from someone you love cannot make you do sumtin u dun want
unless inside your tempted and want it aswel.
theres a reason why most of these things.
when such things happen.
like how boyfriends cajole gfs into havin sex, gf breaks under pressure and gives it to him.
it cannot be charged in court as non-consentual sex because
IT WAS CONSENTUAL,
the guy did nothing but use words.
words dont affect u unless you chose to get affected. -
Keep to your beliefs, do not let him sway you so easily.Originally posted by kuri:is chastity still valued in today's society? just curious to know ppl's opinions, but regardless of what they r i'll still stick to my principle of abstinence from sex before marriage as i think it's the best for me, at least for wat i could think of this moment in time. -
to kuri:
hey, i hope tis will help...do read n tink abt it...
http://sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=221569 -
barely a month ago he said no guy would want a no sex + non sexual relationship but he'll do it for me, now it's okie to no sex but not non sexual.
This is certianly untrue... truth be told he certainly does not deserve you.
And don't think that giving more then you are willing to will improve things... chances are you'll lose everything and gain nothing in the end.
Is he really worth it? If he's more interested in a physical relationship then you? -
People like that, are b@stards.Originally posted by FireAndHell:Firstly, you gotta figure out why did he dumped his former gf, after he had upteen rounds of sex with? Asking him would be futile. He would probably badmouth his ex. To him, his ex is the problem, not him, even after getting wat he wanted in the first place. Perhaps he is just interested in having sex with gals, n not really wanting to settle down just yet. You may be just one of his vested interest-----> a trophy that he can boast around wif, like "hey, i manage to bang this gal who has this thingy about chastity, but who in the end, like the rest of my ex, just could'nt resist ME, for i am one whole hot guy who can melt any gals heart and belief into lettin me bang em good!!...heheheh"
I once have an ex-male collague. This guy is, i must say, well verse in these tactics. He would always have a very good reason to dump his ex------after he had banged em good! Guess wat? He was so good he can break down a gals belief about chastity, then after banging em good, out comes his excuses for dumpin his ex - u noe wat? as always, gal is the problem, not him. He was so confident about himself, he got around braggin his tactics to us guys! He's one hell of a patient chap. Once, he toyed around with this JC gal for almost a year! He mentioned this gal is one tough nut to crack, cos she believed in chastity stuff. Eventually, this gal cracked up, maybe due to exam pressures and a whole lotta issues. Our "hero" was there in her darkest hour, and guess wat?
He got to bang her good! Man, i can see the glitter in his eyes when he boasted to us about his conquest of this JC gal! He dumped her after 4 months. Too bad, the gal was in tatters.
My advise to you is, if you bf can't wait up for you till both of you get married, no need to waste your time. There are many other guys who, for the REAL LOVE of his gal, will truely cherish and uphold his gals belief, instead of tryin very hard to break his gals belief. There are many fishes in the sea, get wat i mean? Cheers!!! -
Originally posted by SumOne:People like that, are b@stards.
I'll reflect over it. -
look for someone with your same values...
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tough leh boyOriginally posted by R3SsH|n:look for someone with your same values... -
who said finding the right love was easy?Originally posted by gigabyte14:tough leh boy -
I affirm your belief as my GF and U have a agreement of not to have sex before married....
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dump the little boy.. anyone who has a mind to tell you that its moral crap regarding bout your Chasity just goes to show the level of maturity he possess in his pea brain..
u deserve someone much better.. -
ya lo, to be confirm la, if u really wan retain it.Originally posted by soulwinner:I affirm your belief as my GF and U have a agreement of not to have sex before married.... -
introduce the master hand to him D.I.Y is the way!
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was reading the first page when it started to get so lengthy. i skipped the whole chunk. based on what i read, yes indeed. stick and stand firm with your belief.
lemme cite you a situation.
Girl A: i lost my virginity with my ex...
Boy A: ... ... ... (fill in your own blanks)
definately if i were Boy A i would be lost for words. it would have struck me hard. so hard that i wouldn't know how to react. but of course i know, MANY people would say.. if you really love the girl, you would forget about her past and live with it.
well, prevention is better than cure. better to lose your virginity to someone you're getting married to than some guy who has an ego as big as a bull.
deem me old fashioned. but i still value chastity. its not something to play around with. -
zzz +1Originally posted by R3SsH|n:who said finding the right love was easy?
finding the right one rightly =\