Is chastity still valued?
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agreed.Originally posted by Chris1988:was reading the first page when it started to get so lengthy. i skipped the whole chunk. based on what i read, yes indeed. stick and stand firm with your belief.
lemme cite you a situation.
Girl A: i lost my virginity with my ex...
Boy A: ... ... ... (fill in your own blanks)
definately if i were Boy A i would be lost for words. it would have struck me hard. so hard that i wouldn't know how to react. but of course i know, MANY people would say.. if you really love the girl, you would forget about her past and live with it.
well, prevention is better than cure. better to lose your virginity to someone you're getting married to than some guy who has an ego as big as a bull.
deem me old fashioned. but i still value chastity. its not something to play around with.
i would prefer a virgin too.
no wonder those AV stars cant get married.
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poor gers. sacrificed in the name of arts to suffice the desires of manOriginally posted by gigabyte14:agreed.
i would prefer a virgin too.
no wonder those AV stars cant get married. 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Porn -
dump him...
u have ur principles and personally I think it is nothing wrong with the principles..
in a r/s, it is give and take...
if he want sex, dun give him, think of the consequences... later u get pregnant then who going to take responsible....
if u feel it is not very right then talk to him and see if he can wait, for the moment u think u can give...
dun rush....
dun be pressure by him.... -
i would prefer a gal who is virgin
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Wah..To TS please marry mi
You still kinda pattern bery hard to find liao
Very rare liao..
Anyway Respect manz..I salute you for ur belief
Your future husband will greatly love you and respect you in future to come..Trust me -
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:I cannot agree with your "To hell with what others think" because it depends who the "others" are. If the "others" are your bf/gf or husband/wife you better don't to hell with what they think!
In this case, I think it applies. It's her own chastity.. she's single and she's female. The rules just aren't in her favour. Technically she has more to lose than to gain from being convinced by this boyfriend of hers, furthermore she herself has declared how much she values it. She has to bear the stigma.. not anyone else.
Besides, there's just too many conflicting views in this particular issue (of chastity).. it's best to stick to what one's gut feeling since this is such a private issue.
p.s. My personal take is that chastity is overrated and overvalued .. but once again, this is TS's personal choice, and TS's chastity (not mine).. I feel it's just not right to tell her what she should do with it..
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A quick reflection on what we have here:
1. She has a right to decide on her own chastity values
2. He has a right on his own chastity values
3. They are in a relationship and discovered that they have different chastity values
4. They can respect each other's values and continue
5. He can try to persuade her to change her values
6. She can try to persuade him to change his values
7. He has no right to impose his values on her
8. She has no right to impose her values on him
9. He can decide to break off with her solely on this issue
10. She can decide to break off with him solely on this issue
11. They can continue despite having different values regarding this - some people will argue that it is simply sweeping the problem under the carpet and it will rise one day and show its ugly face
12. They can compromise and go all the way short of intercourse... how they can compromise, the details, we have to continue in bar
13. If they can get through this successfully and remain bf/gf that speaks well for their future marriage because there are lots of compromises to be made when you are living with someone
14. They can stop the relationship and find someone with similar values on chastity - but there will be lots of other stuff that they will fight about
15. They can try to impose each other's values without compromise and quarrel constantly about it - that would mean that they will have an unhappy marriage because marriage is about compromise - Some people will argue that you compromise most of the time but you do not compromise on certain issues
So you see, relationships are difficult animals because it involves another human - relationship with pets are so much easier... -
I am trying to refrain myself from saying some stuffs...BUT..
for TS.. Chasity is still valued dun worry. But i am curious to see just how long u will last. No offense. ~ -
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:
in this case it seems she stands firm but he is still trying to push his luck though.
hehehe... we don't really know her and we don't really know the guy.
I think it is normal for a guy to try his luck with his gf. If she stands firm and he continues with the relationship, then he is quite a nice guy what... not what you said: "if the guy hangs everything abotu the relation on having sex, [b]i guessing thats not a good man anyway."[/b] -
Good for you. I say dump that bf of yours !!!Originally posted by kuri:I practise abstinence cos i believe in preserving my sexual purity for my spouse yet he finds it moral crap. mayb cos he's done it before, he says he doesnt bother bout his girl's past and the "chaste n innocent" girl doesnt appeal to him yet asked me at times whether i had done this done that before with other guys. barely a month ago he said no guy would want a no sex + non sexual relationship but he'll do it for me, now it's okie to no sex but not non sexual. when i explained to him my reasons for abstinence n why i was a lil mindful of his past he told me i should hav told him earlier n prevent him from falling for me. how did he not hav a clue? when he knew shortly after we started going out that i did not even give my first kiss to my ex-bf?
to me i've alr given a lot to him, to him it's not enough. if he doesnt value chastity at all then why did he even bother to ask if he's the first one i kissed etc? n to think he once said that my ex shouldnt b upset that he hadnt got a kiss from me. wat a joke. isnt it contradicting? wat is he thinking really?
is chastity still valued in today's society? just curious to know ppl's opinions, but regardless of what they r i'll still stick to my principle of abstinence from sex before marriage as i think it's the best for me, at least for wat i could think of this moment in time.
Because think he treasure sex more then you and love !!! -
Originally posted by BadzMaro:I am trying to refrain myself from saying some stuffs...BUT..
for TS.. Chasity is still valued dun worry. But i am curious to see just how long u will last. No offense. ~ Reality Bites -
Cherish your own values... ignore peer pressure, if one day smoking and taking drugs is cool will you still do it?
I hope not. -
guys tend to have higher sex drive
its perfectly normal for guys to ask their gf for sex
if u r not willing den explain to him ur reasons e.g. religion, conservative
if he accepts it, den u r in luck
if not, its time to find a new bf
whatever the case, its important for u to know exactly what u want
if u refuse to have premarital sex, so be it
keep the faith -
Why do you say that it is time to find a new b/f?Originally posted by menoob:guys tend to have higher sex drive
its perfectly normal for guys to ask their gf for sex
if u r not willing den explain to him ur reasons e.g. religion, conservative
if he accepts it, den u r in luck
if not, its time to find a new bf
whatever the case, its important for u to know exactly what u want
if u refuse to have premarital sex, so be it
keep the faith -
because more supply is a good thing?Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Why do you say that it is time to find a new b/f? -
I am not so sure that applies to b/fsOriginally posted by hisoka:because more supply is a good thing? -
if she dumps him and looks for new bf then it means more supply lorOriginally posted by AndrewPKYap:I am not so sure that applies to b/fs -
I agreed with you personal view on keep chastity till marriage. If thats your view and you love your bf at the same time. Get him a female dog to satisfy his urge. Its like killing two stones at a time..you get to keep chastity till marriage while his complaints will stop. =) [/b][/code]
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Chastity is rarely valued these days, sad!! The media and the influence from the west are the cause.Originally posted by kuri:I practise abstinence cos i believe in preserving my sexual purity for my spouse yet he finds it moral crap. mayb cos he's done it before, he says he doesnt bother bout his girl's past and the "chaste n innocent" girl doesnt appeal to him yet asked me at times whether i had done this done that before with other guys. barely a month ago he said no guy would want a no sex + non sexual relationship but he'll do it for me, now it's okie to no sex but not non sexual. when i explained to him my reasons for abstinence n why i was a lil mindful of his past he told me i should hav told him earlier n prevent him from falling for me. how did he not hav a clue? when he knew shortly after we started going out that i did not even give my first kiss to my ex-bf?
to me i've alr given a lot to him, to him it's not enough. if he doesnt value chastity at all then why did he even bother to ask if he's the first one i kissed etc? n to think he once said that my ex shouldnt b upset that he hadnt got a kiss from me. wat a joke. isnt it contradicting? wat is he thinking really?
is chastity still valued in today's society? just curious to know ppl's opinions, but regardless of what they r i'll still stick to my principle of abstinence from sex before marriage as i think it's the best for me, at least for wat i could think of this moment in time.
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eh your math sumthing wrong leh... she dumps him then she has zero and with a new b/f she is back to "one",,, where is the "more supply"?Originally posted by hisoka:if she dumps him and looks for new bf then it means more supply lor -
get a new bf means she will be looking for 1 lor. means theres + 1 potential gf in the market lor.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:eh your math sumthing wrong leh... she dumps him then she has zero and with a new b/f she is back to "one",,, where is the "more supply"? -
becoz the bf wants sexOriginally posted by AndrewPKYap:Why do you say that it is time to find a new b/f?
girl refuse
bf think of her reasoning as moral crap
therefore this relationship is unlikly to last much longer
so time to move on, and find a new bf
all this is hypothetical
so depends on wat she wants
keep the faith -
Im in the abstinence club
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+1...
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But the b/f is willing to continue with the relationship. That would meanthat he is willing to be her b/f and not have sex until marriage. That is a good boyfriend right? He thinks it is moral crap but willingly continue the relationship! What a nice guy.Originally posted by menoob:becoz the bf wants sex
girl refuse
bf think of her reasoning as moral crap
therefore this relationship is unlikly to last much longer
so time to move on, and find a new bf
all this is hypothetical
so depends on wat she wants
keep the faith