Problem with my DAD.
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During the chinese reunion dinner.. my family had a very big quarrel. We had our dinner in tears. My dad was being unreasonable so, my sis and I told him off . It didn't get any better over the past week, cold war between my dad and me.
Yesterday, my mom was scolded by my father over some matter. So, I stood up for my mom for i know she wasn't in the wrong...my dad quickly blew up again.. this time he was even worst..he told me to be careful for he is very hot tempered and could injure or even kill someone in the family. I told him that i will call the police for those threatens.. he told me to go ahead.
my family now is in the mid of crisis.. i don't know what i should do. My dad is a very hot headed person. i'm afraid that if another quarrel is started, things might get out of hand.
Should I call the police? -
first thing..
do u wish to see your dad in jaiL!?
try talk to him since u are the only male in the house -
i don't have a chance to talk things out... his too stubborn and hot headed.. he only knows his in the right and won't accept any negotiations.Originally posted by FBI:first thing..
do u wish to see your dad in jaiL!?
try talk to him since u are the only male in the house -
let him cool down first.. he's your dad after all..Originally posted by BoomBa!:i don't have a chance to talk things out... his too stubborn and hot headed.. he only knows his in the right and won't accept any negotiations.
i really wonder why did u ahve the thought of calling the cops -
let him cool down...
dads are like that la..they want to be seen as the power of the family... -
yes he wants me to know that his the power of this family... to hell with it.. this is the 21st century.. when i know his in the wrong of cause i will speak it out...
Why i have the thought of calling the police... because i know his capable and serious about it by the way he looked and warned me.
I know i shouldn't call the police... but what else i can do.. ? -
1. Is it an isolated issue or has the relationship with your dad always been strained?
2. He was unreasonable in your eyes, but since we don't know what the conflict was about, I'd say... try putting yourself in your dad's shoes? No matter how much you disagree, just try to see things from his point of view and see if you can understand why he behaves in this way.
3. If you need help, you can try seeking a mediator instead of calling the police directly? -
Dun call the cops...once you call thats it. This relationship cannot be full repaired once Police step in.
Every household got a problem and only the family members can solve it.
See if you know what is making your Dad blow up.
Is he stressed over debts? -
hoho.....either relationship or ya life think carefully....
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most dads are like tat.
dun have to call police, just be sure to keep all those deadly weapons and if need be, attack him back for self defense.
dun be afraid, let him noe tat u've grown up.
of coz i dun expect u to provoke him la.
try to settle it calmly, only heed the above if beyond control. -
he's your dad afterall. don't have to resort to sending him to jail. just tolerate and don't provoke him. you still have your mum and sister yea? smiles
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just let him clam down and cool down
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how old are you and your sis?Originally posted by BoomBa!:During the chinese reunion dinner.. my family had a very big quarrel. We had our dinner in tears. My dad was being unreasonable so, my sis and I told him off . It didn't get any better over the past week, cold war between my dad and me.
Yesterday, my mom was scolded by my father over some matter. So, I stood up for my mom for i know she wasn't in the wrong...my dad quickly blew up again.. this time he was even worst..he told me to be careful for he is very hot tempered and could injure or even kill someone in the family. I told him that i will call the police for those threatens.. he told me to go ahead.
my family now is in the mid of crisis.. i don't know what i should do. My dad is a very hot headed person. i'm afraid that if another quarrel is started, things might get out of hand.
Should I call the police?
does your dad scold your mom often? does she try to defend herself???
my mom was like that. ive learnt to just ignore her or leave her alone.
at most sit there and stone and listen to her scream and rant. -
Hmmm, actually the police cannot do anything. If you quarrel, and call them, at most they can do is to stand outside and advise you not to make so much noise and not disturb the neighbours.
Cause your problem is a domestic argument. Police do not interfere in that. They only interfere when someone gets hurt.
He threatened, but do you have any proof? Police cannot do anything. At most you can do is to sue him.
But of cos, that will surely strain your family ties.
So NO POLICE! -
No use calling the police,police can help only when something happened.
When someone is angry,any words could come out -
Firstly,cool it down..and all of you should try to put yourself in one another shoes and see how each other feels
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Tell a counsellor or something
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tell him it is ur limit for ur hot tempered
but for me it is jus a show to watch fools in action and it really boost my mood
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My dad is stubborn and hot tempered and unreasonable.
So i just give in. There's no point arguing with someone when he's angry, and since he thinks he's right, just let him scold lor..
Many times he come home and just start scolding us, or cursing the people who made him angry.
We just let him curse (maybe i follow my mom, or my mom and sis follow me). Because in this manner he loses his steam, and we don't aggrevate the situation.
Of course, i have to understand that he isn't really having paradise in work, that's why.
I believe for people you're close to, there's really no need to get all stubborn and argue back. This is their character for so many years, argue now also no point, just let it lie ba.. -
when someone is angry over things... any words can come out from his mouth. It seems like ur dad isnt someone who take "hard stuff", so no point telling him off, or threaten to call the police. maybe u can try to talk to him in a calm manner? to be frank.. my dad dont take hard stuff too.. the harder i try and talk back, he will give me sh1t... but if i try and talk nicely, or jokingly, he may listen and laugh.. rem this fact.. no matter what, he is ur dad afterall. using brute force dont help.. if he really use violent, talk to a cousellor for more help. or even now, u can try and call them and ask for their advise, i m sure they wil be very willing and will be able to help u in one way or another.Originally posted by BoomBa!:During the chinese reunion dinner.. my family had a very big quarrel. We had our dinner in tears. My dad was being unreasonable so, my sis and I told him off . It didn't get any better over the past week, cold war between my dad and me.
Yesterday, my mom was scolded by my father over some matter. So, I stood up for my mom for i know she wasn't in the wrong...my dad quickly blew up again.. this time he was even worst..he told me to be careful for he is very hot tempered and could injure or even kill someone in the family. I told him that i will call the police for those threatens.. he told me to go ahead.
my family now is in the mid of crisis.. i don't know what i should do. My dad is a very hot headed person. i'm afraid that if another quarrel is started, things might get out of hand.
Should I call the police?
stay calm & cool -
what did u all argue about?
anyway did ur dad give u ang pow?
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Let's say you go to the police station and make a report to the police.
You know what they will do? NOTHING!
They will be wondering what kind of stupid son you are.
Your father shouts and scream at you and because this is the twentieth century you must scream back at him?
Who says? Who told you that?
Don't be a sumseng. You are obviously learning from your father and behaving in an equally stubborn way. You blame your father but you are becoming like him! You are behaving like him!
You know that he is unreasonable and I accept that he is unreasonable. Is it a very big deal? Even if it is a very big deal, you do not have to scream and shout back.
It is like pouring petrol to stop the fire.
If he is unreasonable, when everyone is calm and cool, then talk to him. If you cannot talk to him, ask your mother to talk to him.
I assume he is still sleeping in the same bed as your mother.
Encourage your mother to talk to him about his unreasonable behavior when he is calm and "sane".
You cannot help it and you must scream back at him when ever he is unreasonable because it is the twentieth century? Then don't blame your father. You are the one that cannot control yourself. -
Family Counselling Service (Family Life Society) - For anyone who requires marital, family & youth counselling.
Tel: 6488-0278 (9:00am - 5:00pm Tue, Wed, Fri & Sat)
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try this. -
Originally posted by Chris1988:Family Counselling Service (Family Life Society) - For anyone who requires marital, family & youth counselling.
Tel: 6488-0278 (9:00am - 5:00pm Tue, Wed, Fri & Sat)
(9:00am - 9:00pm Mon & Thurs)
try this. -
When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger. -Epictetus.
Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them. -Epictetus
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.-buddha
Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.-buddha