GF of 7 yrs left me
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Very contradicting in the sentence in red right? We humans never learn until we realise the value in it after its too late.Originally posted by paul_muaddib:I couldnt hv done this without support from others. We human beings are never meant to live alone, without support from others. This episode practically wiped my pride, my comfort zones and my natural procrastination away ... procrastination part might just come back though
I also really happy to discover that when i was living in hell, there are still ppl concerned enough for me. Ppl genuinely want to help me, and see me get better. That was a big help for me, as it gave me hope that not all this in this world is so bleak. So wat if one person no longer loves me ... there are so many more other ppl who is sincere abt wanting me to get better.
Getting spiritually now, i guess ... But now, it just makes me feel alive and belonging in this world. Hv not felt this way for a long time. Humbled, yet ... at peace.
Not sure how long it lasts, but it sure feels good now. Sometimes, u need something taken from u for u to appreciate all other things in ur life. Friends, health, family ... or just plain living.
But that aside...
I think your testimonies of how you are taking your steps to get over this issue shld be seen by the many ppl who are having troubles so they too can find inspiration in your actions and in turn take their steps to a new chapter in their lives.
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Oh yeah, 1 more thing: Stop playing Dune and go get a life!
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Haha. If u can find a copy, I'll be glad to play it.
Hehe, just funny how few ppl r there that actually recognize the nick -
When i posted, all i wanted was help. But i guess as i posted more and more messages, ppl just start caring and helping. ... Never really intended to be an inspiration, but i will be very glad to continue posting and sharing my experiences.Originally posted by Bontakun:Very contradicting in the sentence in red right? We humans never learn until we realise the value in it after its too late.
But that aside...
I think your testimonies of how you are taking your steps to get over this issue shld be seen by the many ppl who are having troubles so they too can find inspiration in your actions and in turn take their steps to a new chapter in their lives.
I am never someone who is very expressive person, and i tend to say very little in life. I guess this incident just open the flood gates and the writing juices poured out.
Now, writing about my experience is very cathartic (i hope i used the right word). Its helps me feel more relaxed, by talking abt what im going through. If this helps ppl, im glad to continue. -
Is there really this word? I can't seem to find it in the dictionary...Originally posted by paul_muaddib:When i posted, all i wanted was help. But i guess as i posted more and more messages, ppl just start caring and helping. ... Never really intended to be an inspiration, but i will be very glad to continue posting and sharing my experiences.
I am never someone who is very expressive person, and i tend to say very little in life. I guess this incident just open the flood gates and the writing juices poured out.
Now, writing about my experience is very cathartic (i hope i used the right word). Its helps me feel more relaxed, by talking abt what im going through. If this helps ppl, im glad to continue.
You should if you believe its helping you alot and it can impact other people reading this, positively. 
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Haha im not sure really. My spelling has always been terrible. Just last night i couldnt sleep, due to my unhappiness.Originally posted by Bontakun:Is there really this word? I can't seem to find it in the dictionary...
You should if you believe its helping you alot and it can impact other people reading this, positively.
Now, though there problem is still there, I dont feel as much pain anymore. I guess the key thing was i needed to stop doing things that hurt myself, like continually going back to her. Feeling sorry for myself also doesnt help. And, i needed to let other ppl know. At first was feeling ashamed that this happened, but its just silly.
Once i decided to really stop hurting myself, i begun to get better. Found out that the more i cut off contact and thoughts of her from my life, the more bearable my current predicament is. Music helps too, I've never been a music fan, but i've to really thank Yanni for soothing me.
All in all, i just occupied as many senses as possible at one time, so i didnt think of anything else, especially the relationship. I multi task ... chat with ppl, while listening to music AND posting in this forum.
For all those couples who r in a troubled relationship, I hv a gem which a friend recommended to me. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/ Its a really easy to read book, and it makes sense. Reading this book makes me realise what type of needs that i did not fulfil for her, and what needs that I hv which is not fulfilled.
Essentially, this books tells us that everyone hv different needs - and goes one step further to describe exactly what those needs r. Im an eternal sceptic of self-help books, but this book really make sense. Beg, borrow or steal one (no, u cannot hv my copy
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Originally posted by paul_muaddib:
Good to hear you've taken up reading.
Haha im not sure really. My spelling has always been terrible. Just last night i couldnt sleep, due to my unhappiness.
Now, though there problem is still there, I dont feel as much pain anymore. I guess the key thing was i needed to stop doing things that hurt myself, like continually going back to her. Feeling sorry for myself also doesnt help. And, i needed to let other ppl know. At first was feeling ashamed that this happened, but its just silly.
Once i decided to really stop hurting myself, i begun to get better. Found out that the more i cut off contact and thoughts of her from my life, the more bearable my current predicament is. Music helps too, I've never been a music fan, but i've to really thank Yanni for soothing me.
All in all, i just occupied as many senses as possible at one time, so i didnt think of anything else, especially the relationship. I multi task ... chat with ppl, while listening to music AND posting in this forum.
For all those couples who r in a troubled relationship, I hv a gem which a friend recommended to me. [b]http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/ Its a really easy to read book, and it makes sense. Reading this book makes me realise what type of needs that i did not fulfil for her, and what needs that I hv which is not fulfilled.
Essentially, this books tells us that everyone hv different needs - and goes one step further to describe exactly what those needs r. Im an eternal sceptic of self-help books, but this book really make sense. Beg, borrow or steal one (no, u cannot hv my copy )[/b]
From what I've read, this incident have certainly made you grow.
Is it really a bad thing? Or is it a blessing in disguise?
Learn your mistakes, and be a better person. If you truly love your girl, and want her back, your change would speak loudest to her. -
i'm glad that you know you are not alone.....jus remember that right now you r undergoing a staging effect (i have read a book somewhere) and really,time will heal your wounds.Originally posted by paul_muaddib:Really happy that there's still so many caring ppl around.
No guarantees that this happy feeling will last ... after all, emotions are still in a roller coaster mood, but im going take comfort in every little joy i can have the moment.
One thing for sure ... even though the healing process is something u've to do on ur own ... it sure wont happen without ppl supporting u! Thanks a million everyone.
Will keep posting to keep all of u informed!
jus remember that men like us tend to like to keep our feelings deep in our heart and not to sound out which is really bad for our mental and health.find a close or new friend to talk to will definitely improve our situation.
hope it helps -
like i said before to someoneOriginally posted by paul_muaddib:Its been nearly a week now and the pain is still as raw as the first day. My gf, the light of my life, just called it quits. God, it still hurts ...
At first, I just reacted with shock and then anger, then emotions just went for a rollercoaster ride. Happy, sad, extreme grief, regret. I was feeling so clingy, that any scrap of attention she gave me I was so grateful and happy about it.
She said she just wants to be friends. So we talked about normal stuff and all. Yet when I tried to talk more serious things, she just either clams up or ...
She said she's just beyond all feelings of frustration and grief. Said everyone who heard her tale just told her ... leave him. Said that I neglected her, did not appreciate her, didnt truly care for her needs, didnt share her interest, and was cruel, callous and nasty. Called and accussed her of all sorts of things and names during arguments.
Thinking back, I just feel so stupid. Always felt smug with myself for having such a beautiful girl in my life. And when she's gone, just a huge chunk of my life is gone. All the things she said was true. Every single word. ....
I just couldnt believe it at first. Begged her to stay on - she said I could do watever i wanted, but she wanted no part of me anymore. No more pain, grief for her. She wants her own life and her own path.
We agreed to a 'cooloff period' but I think its just plain hopeless. Anytime we talk something more serious, beyond what 'friends' talk, she just balks and back off. She's just dead on the inside.
I'm just lost. There's so much more to tell, but I just cant think coherently. I've tried begging, pleading, cajouling ... nothing works. So much so I've begun to fear the pain that all this activities cause, when she just brushes it off.
She said there's no hope anymore. After talking for hours with her, I begun to see that.
Just lost and confused. Raw pain. Grief. Regret. Just cant sit down alone and do nothing, cause all manner of stupid thoughts intrude my mind, including suicide.
Help ... please ... anyone?
change the thread...
I DUMPED MY GF OF 7 YEARS.
be a real man and move on!. -
Same here with mine.Originally posted by paul_muaddib:Haha. If u can find a copy, I'll be glad to play it.
Hehe, just funny how few ppl r there that actually recognize the nick
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part and parcel of life. look on the bright side dude.