Would you love someone poor in Singapore?
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100th post!
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Oh really?Originally posted by curiousOrange:[b]
He's a bit lacking in confidence right now and is unsure whether he has the ability to support a family all by himself in time to come.
He's someone who is trying to plan his future and have a blissful marriage.
How is that irresponsible?
I don't think he deserves what you threw at him.
If he is unsure about his ability to support a family by himself in time to come, he should have started a thread just on that instead of asking if he should go after a girl because she is lowly educated.
Really makes us wonder what his motive is
Is it love? Or is he looking for a girl to mooch off?
Doesn't sound like he will hang around with her if something happens in the relationship coz she is lowly educated.
It's not like he even talked about anything nice about her and just zoomed into one point and then try to substantiate that coz he is just an average guy and she is lowly educated, is it even a good idea to go after her -
I think he deserves a lot worse than what elindra and me threw at him. I stand by my comments and hope the unfortunate girl he is eyeing will see him for what he is and avoid him like the plague.Originally posted by curiousOrange:[b]
He's a bit lacking in confidence right now and is unsure whether he has the ability to support a family all by himself in time to come.
He's someone who is trying to plan his future and have a blissful marriage.
How is that irresponsible?
I don't think he deserves what you threw at him. -
That doesn't answer my question: "why is he totally flippant and irresponsible in relationships?Originally posted by elindra:Oh really?
If he is unsure about his ability to support a family by himself in time to come, he should have started a thread just on that instead of asking if he should go after a girl because she is lowly educated.Originally posted by elindra:Really makes us wonder what his motive is
Is it love?
Apparently you don't think so
Or is he looking for a girl to mooch off?
That's what you think.
So consider my previous question!
Why go through all the trouble of posting a topic like this when he just want a piece of her?
If a man only want some action with a woman. The last thing he'll be worried about is her education level. He'll rather play fantasy football.
Doesn't sound like he will hang around with her if something happens in the relationship coz she is lowly educated.
That still doesn't answer my question: "why is he totally flippant and irresponsible in relationships?Originally posted by elindra:It's not like he even talked about anything nice about her and just zoomed into one point and then try to substantiate that coz he is just an average guy and she is lowly educated, is it even a good idea to go after her
And substantiate what? You speculation that he might want to "mooch" her but he doesn't really love her that much right now?
Why does he need to substantiate it when it's a natural progression of a relationship? Attraction usually comes in before love.
Only the aftermath that can tell me whether he is flippant and irresponsible. I'm not in a position to know right now.
But I'll quote myself here:
If a man only want some action with a woman. The last thing he'll be worried about is her education level.
Logic tells me he's looking for something long term.
I'm not pressing you for answers.
I just want to prove a point - I couldn't tell much just by looking at the three posts he made. I think I will reserve my jugdment.
I just wish you would too.
No hard feelings. -
Err.. People.. I think the TS has already made up his decision... So no point argue much now yeah...?Originally posted by love?:I am overwhelmed by the swamp of responses with equal camps on both side. Well in life, choices have to be made but in the name of love, I decided to just do it. It's better to have loved and be loved than never. No one knows the future and if everything needs to be perfect, it's boring.
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First and foremost Devil, not trying to start a flamewar in here, nor trying to create trouble here.
This is just a simple exchange of views though the TS has made a decision.
Call it a case study or whatever you want to call it.
Back to Orange.
If you actually go back to TS's posts, all four of it, the first 3 post are all about why having more money is essential to love (he pegs it to education) and basically trying to substantiate that to have a happy marriage, you need education and money. He can't even differentiate between love and lust
The replies to him within these 3 posts are all telling him that money does not equate happiness. It because a case of majority wins so after all the bs he tells us, he comes back and says he wants to woo the girl coz "in life, choices have to be made but in the name of love, I decided to just do it. It's better to have loved and be loved than never. No one knows the future and if everything needs to be perfect, it's boring."
If you don't call that flippancy what do you call that? Indecision? (duh)
I mean to hell with it. If you truely love a person you won't be putting her under a microscope about her education level and decide if you should woo her. You wouldn't be going on telling people why you are not choosing her because of money and her education level, without putting into perspective that you can upgrade yourself or even put her family situation into perspective. And after a few dozen posts by strangers he hardly knows, he just says that he will go for it in the name of love when it really isn't on his mind in the first place It might just be a crush. If you had strong feelings for someone, you wouldn't hold back, especially if you are just average and not down in the dumps. Heck. Majority of us are average.
So here he is, armed with some advise from us faceless strangers, he decides to go for her with this mindset at the back of his mind that she is lowly educated (therefore not able to contribute much financially). Do you honestly think that he will be in through thick and thin and not be in the relationship coz the majority thinks so? If you think that is responsible, I have nothing to say.
Oh please, he was putting so much emphasis on the S11. He might not want to mooch her, but it sure don't speak volumes that he will hang around when there is trouble. It's like you speculating that he is really in it for love. Maybe I'm just a cynical bitch sitting behind the screen like you are an idealist.
For someone talking about waiting for someone better, it sounds too opportunistic. You know, there are guys who wine and dine intelligent, highly educated women just for the thrill of getting them into bed. They want the woman to be best in everything. It's a thrill they get out of. Not every guy wants a wham bam thank you m'dam coz it is too easy without the thrill. I have to say your quote may hold truth for some part of the male population.
By your quote itself, you have already formed some form of judgement and ideal about this guy. Just put it this way. You have your own opinions about him, as I do mine and it is nothing good (including his ability to rationalize properly). -
To summarize what you said:Originally posted by elindra:The replies to him within these 3 posts are all telling him that money does not equate happiness. It because a case of majority wins so after all the bs he tells us, he comes back and says he wants to woo the girl coz "in life, choices have to be made but in the name of love, I decided to just do it. It's better to have loved and be loved than never. No one knows the future and if everything needs to be perfect, it's boring."
If you don't call that flippancy what do you call that? Indecision? (duh)
And after a few dozen posts by strangers he hardly knows, he just says that he will go for it in the name of love when it really isn't on his mind in the first place
If a poster comes here, listens to all the views and decides to change his mindset, he is flippant. His final decision should not be treated seriously.
Perfect is boring. ThatÂ’s what I told him. I think he understood something from there.
You are speculating that itÂ’s a case of majority wins. Speculations certainly do not demonstrate the flippancy you spoke about.
I think that is the main problem you have with his post. You are saying if he truly loves her, he wouldnÂ’t question.Originally posted by elindra:I mean to hell with it. If you truely love a person you won't be putting her under a microscope about her education level and decide if you should woo her.
If you had strong feelings for someone, you wouldn't hold back, especially if you are just average and not down in the dumps
But who is talking about true love here?
When I first met my wife and asked for her number, She don’t certainly did not carry a signboard saying,” THIS WAY TO TRUE LOVE AND STRONG FEELINGS”
I am attracted so I asked.
In his case, probably itÂ’s not true love either. Not at the moment.
So he is not allowed to assess the other party before getting to know her better? I am sure the girl will be doing her assessment as well when his proposal is made known to her.
I think he is much more responsible than a lot of guys like me out there. Money might not be the most important issue.
I accept. Maybe he got his priority wrong.
But at least he considers things that a lot of guys will not consider at the initial stage.
IÂ’m not an idealist. I think you might be.
Again, did he accept because the majority thinks so?Originally posted by elindra:So here he is, armed with some advise from us faceless strangers, he decides to go for her with this mindset at the back of his mind that she is lowly educated (therefore not able to contribute much financially). Do you honestly think that he will be in through thick and thin and not be in the relationship coz the majority thinks so? If you think that is responsible, I have nothing to say.
IÂ’m starting to feel like itÂ’s the other way round.
I am that cynical busybody sitting behind the screen while you are the idealist.
This will probably get nowhere. I am just unhappy that he got flamed for being irresponsible and flippant when the evidences are based on hypothetical scenarios and speculations. -
ok, I get what you are trying to say. I will take my exit then.Originally posted by Devil1976:Err.. People.. I think the TS has already made up his decision... So no point argue much now yeah...? -
understandable that u are feeling this way..after all we are faced with realities of life...Originally posted by love?:I am a guy. It's a fact that living in Singapore is a very tough one if there isn't enough money to go by. What happens if in the choice of a partner, there appears to be many however the dilemmna is who to choose? Someone you love or someone whom you can foresee to have a future with espcially in the area of finances.
I am hesitating to go after someone I like the reason being she's not well-educated. I know many of you will say to go after love but what happens 10 or 20 years down the road when the realities of life steps in. It's tough even for a guy to support a family all by himself here in Singapore. I am talking about the average family here.
What would you do if you are just an average guy and you this choice presents itself to you. Should I wait for a better one or should I go for it?
just weigh in the pros and cons..but given that its impossible to predict the future, youmust have some faith in yourself or God to believe that something will work out
also dont be ruled so much by congition or fear, cause it robs u off zest for life -
Why not..
I prefer gal that are not so rich..
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I thought you are married??Share about why you love your hubbly...Originally posted by elindra:Oh really?
If he is unsure about his ability to support a family by himself in time to come, he should have started a thread just on that instead of asking if he should go after a girl because she is lowly educated.
Really makes us wonder what his motive is
Is it love? Or is he looking for a girl to mooch off?
Doesn't sound like he will hang around with her if something happens in the relationship coz she is lowly educated.
It's not like he even talked about anything nice about her and just zoomed into one point and then try to substantiate that coz he is just an average guy and she is lowly educated, is it even a good idea to go after her -
I tot that gal already dump the TS?
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To be loved and be loved then never ?Originally posted by love?:I am overwhelmed by the swamp of responses with equal camps on both side. Well in life, choices have to be made but in the name of love, I decided to just do it. It's better to have loved and be loved than never. No one knows the future and if everything needs to be perfect, it's boring.
Just hopes that it will last and no new gal will ever cross your path, -
Oh goodness... just go for it mate. I know when you lay out the facts of the hash life in SG to support a family and to earn the bread and butter is hard, therefore it leads to your hesitation. I would agree, partially. As you said, education seems like a milestone for you in order to get into love. Here's my point, i didn't have much education either. Worst, i was a ex-offender
... but thing is, thru years of struggle i had my chance and for someone i loved no matter what i would strive hard to achieve success not only for myself, her's too. You know the chinese saying whereby happiness is achieved thru the simplicity of life. Don't let the small problem overcome your sight of being happy with her, only if you feel the same way to her. The best guide? follow your heart mate. I believed all guys will do no matter what to support the family he loves, even begging if need be 
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-_-" who bump this up?
as long no debt-mountains i happy liao. -
Why are you so kaypoh?Originally posted by soulwinner:I thought you are married??Share about why you love your hubbly... 
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STREOTYPE ALERT.Originally posted by Fatum:maybe the chap's in love with a pretty but materialistic girl ? ...
seriously, if you're looking for a wifey, stay away from those mahjong playing, spa going chicks ... even if you're a millionaire, you'll become poor someday because of her ... and don't wonder if she'll be a good mother to your children either ...
I love spas and I will go often when I start working. Nothing wrong with pampering and beautifing myself coz the husband benefits in the end too.
If you want your wives to remain presentable, it doesnt come cheap.
OT a little bit
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sg gals are all money minded de lar...
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From personal experience I will choose someone who is not financially depedent on me. And being a guy we can love easily so there's alot of selection out there. Don't be tight to financial burden.Originally posted by love?:I am a guy. It's a fact that living in Singapore is a very tough one if there isn't enough money to go by. What happens if in the choice of a partner, there appears to be many however the dilemmna is who to choose? Someone you love or someone whom you can foresee to have a future with espcially in the area of finances.
I am hesitating to go after someone I like the reason being she's not well-educated. I know many of you will say to go after love but what happens 10 or 20 years down the road when the realities of life steps in. It's tough even for a guy to support a family all by himself here in Singapore. I am talking about the average family here.
What would you do if you are just an average guy and you this choice presents itself to you. Should I wait for a better one or should I go for it? -
eh loving the person is one thing la...bt if the person is poor n is willing to work hard for the future of both of u...den y nt rite....
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work hard does not = $$.Originally posted by acegem84:eh loving the person is one thing la...bt if the person is poor n is willing to work hard for the future of both of u...den y nt rite.... -
uh uh ...bt dnt b kortek n kena eaten by others....work smart to get $ ....Originally posted by ody2004:work hard does not = $$.