Immature Boyfriend
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I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. Just last year, we both graduated from Poly, so I am currently working now and he is in NS. I started to feel the gap between us. I begin to feel that he is still so immature and childish. During my 21st birthday this year, he is still giving me soft toys as presents. I feel that I couldn't be with him anymore.
I wanted a Man not a Boy. I told him what I have been thinking last night and he cried, he told me he have been trying very very hard to satisfy me. I cried too. The word " break up" almost slipped out of my mouth but I didn't. I was soft-hearted, couldn't say it out at all.
And when he call me today, he acted like usual as if nothing have happen before. Very troubled now, can someone advise ? -
Maybe you should take a look at yourself first. Just because he gave you soft toys for your birthday, you label him as immature and selfish? Did you expect him to give you something more valuable for your birthday? If that's the case, the immature one is you.
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every individual has their own approach to show their care for another. giving you a softtoy for present might not please you enough but at least he tried. look at it as how he show his concern to you.
have you tried giving him the benefit of doubts and assess him based on his goods? or is your mind left with only the unpleasant moments?
i thought you should tell him that you no longer a little girl and you prefer something else on your next birthday. give him another change to prove his and your judgement, as far as his maturaity is concerned.
if all else fails and you think a break-up is the best solution to all of these problems, carry it out. at least the both of you can utilise the rest of your life finding a more suitable partner.
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girls like soft toys wat...give them as presents for ur 21st birthday like that call boy...hmm...so if ur bf instead give u sex on ur birthday...then isn he a man!
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He give you soft toys show he still remember your birthday ..when buying present for girls.. guys always got problem...just like girls buy present for guys..also mus think a long way..crack ur head.. maybe is becos he is in NS then u feel the gap...he might miss you alot in NS in the other way.. to say this word "breakup" , you better think thru carefully . Maybe once you break up with him, you might regret......and then...hor......there's no more turning back...liao......since he;s trying so hard to please you, you should not hiam...he won't give a damn on u if he don't care you at all....most importantly....do not think of the negative side..pls...this will only worsen....don't think of him so much..try to learn more things..go do other things ...and not spend time thinkin about your relationship.......best is minimize quarrels..
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It's hard to buy presents for the opposite gender you knoe... plus he's in NS. His pay's quite miserable. What do you expect him to get you leh?
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hi selfishgal,
i heard abt several stories similar to you. meaning that gers feeling that the guys are still childish, and mostly, they occur when the guys are in NS while the gers are working. when you are working, the environment is v diff, and things are no longer the same as when u are working. u are meeting with diff kinds of clients, customers, superiors etc. u have to be mature at all times, whereas the guys are in NS and the environment they are in are v diff from yours. i am not sure if NS life is similar to sch life, but perhaps it's the change of environment that you are facing makes you feel as if you have "matured" and therefore your bf seems to be childish when he is actually still the same old bf that u used to have. hmm... perhaps give him more time to understand wat you want from him, and also, perhaps when he also step into the working society, both of you will be the same as in he will probably be "mature" then... erm.. dunno lah, tats y i think. hope it helps you. dun think of breaking up so easily, cos' u might really regret it in the future!~ -
If you think that giving you a soft toy for your birthday is an immature behavior and your bf is an immature guy who won't change his way... Go ahead and leave him... I think it would be better for BOTH of you anyway....Originally posted by selfishgal:I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. Just last year, we both graduated from Poly, so I am currently working now and he is in NS. I started to feel the gap between us. I begin to feel that he is still so immature and childish. During my 21st birthday this year, he is still giving me soft toys as presents. I feel that I couldn't be with him anymore. I wanted a Man not a Boy. I told him what I have been thinking last night and he cried, he told me he have been trying very very hard to satisfy me. I cried too. The word " break up" almost slipped out of my mouth but I didn't. I was soft-hearted, couldn't say it out at all.
And when he call me today, he acted like usual as if nothing have happen before. Very troubled now, can someone advise ?
If you're just all WRAPPED UP and CONFUSED because of what you're facing in your Life currently and the fact that your bf cannot always be around with you, please try to make it CLEAR between the things happening in your Life and your relationship with your bf.... Personally I think your CRY means that you still needs your bf..... And giving up on this relationship of yours and your bf just because of this soft toy is too stupid a reason.... Unless you can find yourself a better reason, I suggest you reflect over what happened from BOTH your stand and your bf's stand....?
And here is a BONUS story... Some of the female friends I know now and whom I've spoken to WERE just like you.... But now they're such UNDERSTANDING ladies.... And always giving in to their bf and have NO COMPLAINT.... Most of them told me that they ONCE had a VERY NICE bf but they never treasure him... Always throwing temper and asking for more.... Though they kinda regret now but they too understand that they cannot change anything now... Relatively the bf they have now are always BUSY with their own things and friends... But they very much APPRECIATE the LOVE more than the faults they can find on their bf.... -
selfish maybe??Originally posted by selfishgal:I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. Just last year, we both graduated from Poly, so I am currently working now and he is in NS. I started to feel the gap between us. I begin to feel that he is still so immature and childish. During my 21st birthday this year, he is still giving me soft toys as presents. I feel that I couldn't be with him anymore. I wanted a Man not a Boy. I told him what I have been thinking last night and he cried, he told me he have been trying very very hard to satisfy me. I cried too. The word " break up" almost slipped out of my mouth but I didn't. I was soft-hearted, couldn't say it out at all.
And when he call me today, he acted like usual as if nothing have happen before. Very troubled now, can someone advise ? 
then what is the type of MAN u think u want?? -
As u say together 3 yrs liao...wat make u stay with him 3 yrs?Originally posted by selfishgal:I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. Just last year, we both graduated from Poly, so I am currently working now and he is in NS. I started to feel the gap between us. I begin to feel that he is still so immature and childish. During my 21st birthday this year, he is still giving me soft toys as presents. I feel that I couldn't be with him anymore. I wanted a Man not a Boy. I told him what I have been thinking last night and he cried, he told me he have been trying very very hard to satisfy me. I cried too. The word " break up" almost slipped out of my mouth but I didn't. I was soft-hearted, couldn't say it out at all.
And when he call me today, he acted like usual as if nothing have happen before. Very troubled now, can someone advise ?
cos everyone say u 2 should be 2gether or is there really love?
If u really love him..tell him wat's wrong and giv him chance to change mah...
Givache -
Hi for a simple reason not that giving soft toys is an immature way but because he loves u and want to give u something u like. As all the guys know in NS the pay also not much still need to save for the next appt aft booking out. If he were to gave u valuable things and not able to go out aft booking out. Then will u think he dun like u. Please see the problem outside the circle and not inside it. If u keep thinking that he is immature and wish to breakup with him i think u are the one who is immature or u have fallen for some other guys and wish that the forums can help give u good reason to Breakup with him. this also prove that ur relationship cannot last as ur thinking is unstable....Originally posted by selfishgal:I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. Just last year, we both graduated from Poly, so I am currently working now and he is in NS. I started to feel the gap between us. I begin to feel that he is still so immature and childish. During my 21st birthday this year, he is still giving me soft toys as presents. I feel that I couldn't be with him anymore. I wanted a Man not a Boy. I told him what I have been thinking last night and he cried, he told me he have been trying very very hard to satisfy me. I cried too. The word " break up" almost slipped out of my mouth but I didn't. I was soft-hearted, couldn't say it out at all.
And when he call me today, he acted like usual as if nothing have happen before. Very troubled now, can someone advise ? -
maturity iz a person's character, nt wat he gif ppl, it may b dat he felt dat u still like softtoy, but if u dun like or u 'thk' u haf 'matured' n no longer wans such stuff, drop him hints, dun shoot him in d face, every1 haz gt pride n feelinz... luv iz abt gif n take, if u dun realised tiz, den i say ur 3yrs 2gther iz a waste of time.
btw, all tiz mention abt NS pay n environment, allow mi 2 enlighten u (nt being cocky, bt juz dat im an ex-instr there)... as all u ppl knw, nw NS pay increse liao, so stop complainin... s for responsibilities n gettin mature, i can tell u d army iz a gd place 4 guys 2 learn, itz juz a matter of whether he will 'grow' up n realize ther r such thgz in tiz world, if he dun, mayb hez meant 2 b so, sum ppl juz like to b happy go lucky, u cant changed dat...
luv iz nt abt pointin ot d mistakes in 1 nother bt appreciating d qualities in 1 nother -
new stage of life.. very sadly, tings change.. part n parcel of growin up, i guess... new environm mean new pple, more exposure 4 u.. take it easy.. anyway, his pay's quite miserable.. dun xpect 2 much frm him la.. NS is tiring enuf...Originally posted by selfishgal:I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. Just last year, we both graduated from Poly, so I am currently working now and he is in NS. I started to feel the gap between us. I begin to feel that he is still so immature and childish. During my 21st birthday this year, he is still giving me soft toys as presents. I feel that I couldn't be with him anymore. I wanted a Man not a Boy. I told him what I have been thinking last night and he cried, he told me he have been trying very very hard to satisfy me. I cried too. The word " break up" almost slipped out of my mouth but I didn't. I was soft-hearted, couldn't say it out at all.
And when he call me today, he acted like usual as if nothing have happen before. Very troubled now, can someone advise ?
personally i tink, if u reali tink tt u dun feel anythin 4 him, breakin up wil b a wise choice.. dont drag...
gd luck.. take care -
hiaz...hope moaster can reply to u ...pls wake up...u think guyz are out there for u to toy around... kindly tok to him...then solve the problems......... thx
no flaming plss...
onli my 5Cent worth of comment...
pls dun get angry... -
zhen ai nan find, treasure ur love.Originally posted by selfishgal:I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. Just last year, we both graduated from Poly, so I am currently working now and he is in NS. I started to feel the gap between us. I begin to feel that he is still so immature and childish. During my 21st birthday this year, he is still giving me soft toys as presents. I feel that I couldn't be with him anymore. I wanted a Man not a Boy. I told him what I have been thinking last night and he cried, he told me he have been trying very very hard to satisfy me. I cried too. The word " break up" almost slipped out of my mouth but I didn't. I was soft-hearted, couldn't say it out at all.
And when he call me today, he acted like usual as if nothing have happen before. Very troubled now, can someone advise ?
btw ur nick also sae all liao => selfish ger, mus think of him mah =P
try open table tok, then solve problem from there, no need post forums liao
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goodness, 21 year old gal only, only GRADUATE poly (duh, big deal) to me is like ru3 xiu4 wei4 gan1 (milk smell havent dry). so young work for a short while only want to believe yrself to be mature? give me a break. i'd say yr bf is more mature than u, do u know why? let me speak out for all the guys who are clearing army or have ORD. why are guys from the army more mature? because during their stint they have tested their own limits of both mental and physical endurance; no man can understand himself and his limits more than someone who have undergone such intensive training. other than this, the army trains someone to be patient and to keep a cool head when faced with difficulties so u'll see that army trained guys do not blow their top as much in the outside world, which is a sharp contrast to gals outside (no matter how long they've worked) who have no experience of intense hardship at all and cannot tolerate unpleasant situations (blowing their tops at the slightest dissatistaction.)
this is a pretty common scenario: when my gal frens ask me, is work tough? i'd tell them when i think of army training, work suddenly becomes really easy (which is how i seek stress relief! ) and when they ask me is army really that tough? i can only smile at them cos they have no idea at all..
having said all these, i'd still say i dread army, sispec and soa.
anywayz, i do not think u are mature, but i do think yr bf is maturing. in any case if u think yr expectations for yr bf have changed, i suggest u give him some time, or rather 21/2 years to finish up his holy task of protecting yr country (including u! while taking the peanut pay) and appreciate wat he (and other NS guys) is doing now. its pretty sad to see such a typical case happening again. -
F**k man....you better leave your bf....if the relation breaks down over a stuff toy which he bought for your damn birthday {Come to think of it ....he has to scarifice say two hours of his free time ourside camp just to get the stuff toy for an unappreciative woman}, you all won't last long. It is the f**king thought that counts not the gift. You want a real man ? Go DESKER and find lah!!! Butahan all these @#$^&$^# women... You are the one who is immature in your thoughts not him okay ?!!
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Relax guys, dun blame on the girl...
Maybe something really happened which we all dunno...
We r all third parties neh... -
Grab her by the nose and kick her by the ass wake up her idea abit
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NS breakup again.... nothing new.... go ahead if u feel u not happy with him... Go find someone else u happy with.... No point dragging yourself with this unhappy relationship.
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break-up sounds like the most recommended solution. it should do the guy good.
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my friend in ns... his gf working... her gf stress compaint to me...
my friend tired but do show happy face but try hard to please gf...
but they seem happy together and i hope they are really happy together dont hope any un happy things for them ...
maybe the girl now feeling more lonely no one protect no one to share problems... while the guy in army.. but... the guy also dont hope... ns is a hardship with joy and tears.. that no people can understand except people in ns now...
i told his gf to be more understanding too as he is super tired...
but his gf say .. that u dont know how he is enjoying himself in there... i dont know why she say that too...
anyway man in ns the stess must go there then u know... -
err wat to say....dun break up wit him juz bcoz u think he is immature
it's a lame excuse coz a couple wil luv each other no matter wat
wats most impt is conversation...or rather have a face to face tok wit him so there will b no miscommuication and at the same time he can knoe wat u wan and u knoes wat he wans
breakin up is not a solution...it like throwin the problem into the dustbin and forgettin abt it k? -
Why all these gals seem to think we are enjoying ourselves in NS huh?
It is not BB or Scouts for god sake...Gals have their working stress outside...likewise guys face their own form of stress in the army also....sometimes i really wish thatI can shake a few senses into these females. -
hey people love u, can't u see? u want his love or u want his man? he just entered NS, give him some time, to change to a man. U lidat abit abit never give him time to grow now wanna break up? U must invest long term kind of thing one... wah lan.. aiyah dono how to tell u lah... alway this kinda case, everything must want immediate effect, if not break up... haiz...Originally posted by selfishgal:I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. Just last year, we both graduated from Poly, so I am currently working now and he is in NS. I started to feel the gap between us. I begin to feel that he is still so immature and childish. During my 21st birthday this year, he is still giving me soft toys as presents. I feel that I couldn't be with him anymore. I wanted a Man not a Boy. I told him what I have been thinking last night and he cried, he told me he have been trying very very hard to satisfy me. I cried too. The word " break up" almost slipped out of my mouth but I didn't. I was soft-hearted, couldn't say it out at all.
And when he call me today, he acted like usual as if nothing have happen before. Very troubled now, can someone advise ?