Immature Boyfriend

• Retrac

  21 Jul 02, 19:30

  Hey,
  
  i'll try not to be biased, but somehow i can't help but to speak up for the guys. I've been thru NS and I've changed.
  
  When a girl first steps out into the world to work and the guy steps into NS, the ger will then to 'mature' faster which i feel is due to the enviroment which she is in.
  
  On the other hand, the guy in NS is still discovering himself and learning his limits. NS is at times pretty much abt conforming to orders. Upon completition of NS, the guy now knows how to handle a lot more things and maintain his cool. However until he works, he will never put these 'hidden' discoveries which he has aquired in his NS days.
  
  Upon working, the guy will definately be more matured when he puts his skills to the job. To a certain extent, i feel the gers will learn some maturity from the working counterparts who have already been thru NS.
  
  And now, on the issue of... do you really love him, or are you all juz together juz becos you are comfortable with each other?? Wat do you want in this relation and where do u see it going??
  
  A guy in NS will tink differently as compared to when he is working. it's quite unfair to say he's immatured. it's an unfair comparision.
  
  Yup, i went thru this before and broke up. She is now with another guy and she told me she regreted. Well life goes on and i can't reverse wat has been done.
  
  Gd luck, think carefully.
• Lim Ah Boy

  21 Jul 02, 20:01

  Hey there just happened to read this nd would like to share some of my thoughts...
  
  As i am a sergeant in BMTC, i face recruits day in and out... it is a real time for boys to change into men.... as for your bf it is no different... he may find it tough and u should be there to support him instead of saying he is childish... i face many bgr problems every batch of recruits i take but 1 thing i can assure u is that when ur bf passes out of bmt he will be more matured... this i have witnessed...
  
  this is our job... "To train civilians into men and soldiers!"
• annna

  21 Jul 02, 21:32

  Define a MAN? What's wrong with soft toys? Soft toys signifies immaturity? geez i have no idea. my dear, i think maybe because u started working n u start seeing things differently thats why u start feeeling confused... three years is a long time to be someone.. think thru carefully before u make any decision. Basically he actually bothers to buy something u might actually like, imagine his excitement n joy when he tot u might like it.... the whole point is he had already given all that he can give to you... what more would u want from someone that had given everything to you.
  anyway think carefully hor, the grass is always greener on the other side.. but then always full of pesticide...
  
  i happen to like soft toys.. i am forced to give them away because no space on my bed! wails~*
  
  but then again if u dunwan soft toy tell him what u want la. ask him give u money the best hahahah
• joanne

  21 Jul 02, 22:41

  i supposed the guys here are v angry n worked up..well, dun have to be. i am sure selfishgirl doesnt really mean that she feels that her bf is childish becos' he gave her a soft toy for her 21st bday, but it shd be just one of the reason that she stated. i believe she have her own reasons..
  
  perhaps if she break up with her bf now, she will regret( which i think she will) but guys, maybe shd try to put urself in her shoes. the environment she is in is v diff from her bf, and perhaps her work is stressful, etc.etc. hmm... i am not taking side lah, but that i see that some of your replies seems v "guo fen" so just stepped in to help her to say a few words...
• greengoblin

  21 Jul 02, 23:01

  Firstly, I would like to offer my sincere apologies for some of the words and phrases that I have used in my postings. I have to admit that I was pretty worked up because once I had a girl who treated me as such and broke up with me over what she thought was an insignificant present and which I had spent the whole day searching all the stuff toy shops in Singapore just to find that particular toy for her.
  
  What I wish to say is this, if you really love your boyfriend, love him for who he is and what he has done for you. In buying presents and such, look at the heart which begets the action rather than the present itself. True, the present may seem insignificant to you, but to the guy, it is something he bought with the hope that it will really make your day and would give you a smile to remember for the days to come.
  
  If you still feel that he is not the one for you, leave him. It is better for him this way. I rather that he be single and serve his NS with a peaceful mind than he thinking what he should have done to please you while doing some dangerous maneuvers. True, he maybe upset for awhile. But at least, his buddies in the camp can do a better job comforting him and watching for him knowing what he has gone through. Life will go on for him and he will find a girl eventually that is more suited for him and who really matches his maturity.
  
  My 2¢s worth.
• annna

  22 Jul 02, 00:54

  aiya so stressful thinking abt it jus dump him n get on with life la. haiz...
• shandower

  22 Jul 02, 10:33

  I think selfishgal got flamed off this discussion. LOLZ!
• userid

  22 Jul 02, 22:06

  ya tats rite i think shes flamed off. anywayz point to note: if gals are "mature" why would they like soft toys in the first place? anywayz the toy was for her not him, he thought she liked it, so we might at most conclude that he thought she was immature; its not for himself (though he'd be queer if he liked it haha). if soft toys are immature wat isnt? perfume? lingerie? wat? or should he show her how man he is by asking for sex?
  
  how abt for the guy? should a gal show her maturity by buying something "mature" for her man? from wat? switch from spiderman figurines to boss cologne?
  
  duh. i can understand if the different environments result in different frequencies so they cant communicate properly anymore, but to put the blame on her bf for being immature is, in itself an immature act, not to mention that it is bound to piss guys off.
  
• CenturionMBT

  22 Jul 02, 22:55

  Serves her right...
• Wind

  23 Jul 02, 06:20

  These people here has offered you some very good advices. Either nicely or the 'straight in your face' way.
  
  Think about it. If you want to break off with him, at least please... find a better excuse. Sometimes, just get out of the picture and put yourself in his shoe. How would you feel?
  
  Things are often like that. People take people for granted. If he never even bother to give you anything, he is 'bo sim'. Now that he gave you a soft toy, he is immature. What do you want then?
  
  It is hard not to get agitated by replying to your post. But please, please and please... think it through man. No right or wrong, but it is how and why.
• acenn

  23 Jul 02, 11:56

  Hi selfishgal,
  
  I think its normal for girls to feel like u do coz you and ur bf are going through different stages and environment in your life. Its sad but true, puppy love that lasted from teens to adult hood usually won't last. This is because girls generally matured faster than guys... And they will feel that the guy whom they used to like in sch has not grown up. Actually, ur bf hasn't changed, its just that you've become more matured now. Perhaps u're looking or seeking for something more than love in your relationship now. A stable income, and security is what you're looking for. There's nothing wrong with being realistic in life. Its all part and parcel of growing up. If you really think that he's not suitable for you, then leave him.
• nooki

  23 Jul 02, 12:38

  Originally posted by joanne:

  i supposed the guys here are v angry n worked up..well, dun have to be. i am sure selfishgirl doesnt really mean that she feels that her bf is childish becos' he gave her a soft toy for her 21st bday, but it shd be just one of the reason that she stated. i believe she have her own reasons..
  
  perhaps if she break up with her bf now, she will regret( which i think she will) but guys, maybe shd try to put urself in her shoes. the environment she is in is v diff from her bf, and perhaps her work is stressful, etc.etc. hmm... i am not taking side lah, but that i see that some of your replies seems v "guo fen" so just stepped in to help her to say a few words...

  agree *nod,nod*
• JeweL81

  23 Jul 02, 13:24

  after 3 yrs of being together , he should have at least the slightest idea of what you are looking forward to get during your 21th birthday.
  Do you potrait yourself as a cute gal infront of him ? maybe that's y he thinks you might prefer a soft toy for a birthday present.
  
  And if you are not expecting a soft toy from him , then what did u expect? a diamond ring? a handphone? a landed property? or a ang bao? it's always the thought that counts. Next time , if you have anything in mind that you want. Why not juz tell him , since the two of you have been together for 3 long years.
• Ah^ken

  23 Jul 02, 14:58

  
  
  I tink u should understand your bf,maybe he is reallli hard up of cash. What matter is the thoughts that counts, so dun doubt his sincerity. He may be realli hurt if u dun appreciate his present.
  All the Best. :roll
• Wes Brown

  23 Jul 02, 23:53

  
• skycrawler

  23 Jul 02, 23:54

  Originally posted by Wes Brown:

  

  this time he is caught...a pervert
• selfishgal

  24 Jul 02, 10:54

  Originally posted by joanne:

  i supposed the guys here are v angry n worked up..well, dun have to be. i am sure selfishgirl doesnt really mean that she feels that her bf is childish becos' he gave her a soft toy for her 21st bday, but it shd be just one of the reason that she stated. i believe she have her own reasons..
  
  perhaps if she break up with her bf now, she will regret( which i think she will) but guys, maybe shd try to put urself in her shoes. the environment she is in is v diff from her bf, and perhaps her work is stressful, etc.etc. hmm... i am not taking side lah, but that i see that some of your replies seems v "guo fen" so just stepped in to help her to say a few words...

  thanks. really appreciate your help. the soft toy present is just a small example...yes, i am disappointed with the gift, not becos it is a soft toy, becos he still dunno what i want after 3 years. still remember my birthday last year...we just had a simple dinner at a hawker center and it was unforgettable...just expect him to use a little more 'heart' mah instead of 'just' a soft toy...i am really not expecting an expensive gift ok...(anyway, money is not a problem to him now, cos he had sign on...double my pay ok! ) thanks for the scoldings as well. i am still with him (whole-heartedly I promise!) will not think of such ' wu liao' stuff again.
• selfishgal

  24 Jul 02, 11:14

  Originally posted by baruku:

  ignore her. she is not here to discuss her problem, especially with only 2 posts on her profile.
  
  she's merely looking for some sorta entertainment, provoking people with sensitive topics and laugh at the feedbacks.
  
  bet she's a he.

  btw, just to tell you all that I will not respond to this topic again...feel so guilty to read what i haven written previously. (just in case someone tot i am a fraud or pervert looking for entertainment over here) Bye!
• shandower

  24 Jul 02, 12:30

  Originally posted by selfishgal:

  btw, just to tell you all that I will not respond to this topic again...feel so guilty to read what i haven written previously. (just in case someone tot i am a fraud or pervert looking for entertainment over here) Bye!

  In the end, it doesn't really matterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
• greengoblin

  26 Jul 02, 22:27

  http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=24254
  
  Continues here[/url]
• Hershey

  29 Jul 02, 12:31

  [color=blue]Well Selfishgal...honestly i can understand how you feel...cause there was at one time i also feel that my guy is very childish...but always remember...comunication is very important... anything cannot work out, best is sti down and talk to each other....dun simply breakup when a problem happens....anyway gald that you are still together with your guy...wish you all the best!!
• Super4

  31 Jul 02, 16:22

  come on everybody! I think their realtionship is not just be'coz of a softtoy. If it is only that classified him as childish then seems a bit unfair. If yu really think you'all communication got problem, maturity gap diff then I recommend a break up. No point changing for each other I tried b4 it's impossible. Just break.
• verity

  31 Jul 02, 16:46

  i tink is coz of the different env that you guys exposed to . he got no money thats why cannot afford diamonds and crystals mah come one ns pay sucks . maybe the kind of thing you want is what working pp can get that's why you will hiam abit but if you realli love him , you wun bother but what he gives lor ... think about it if you realli think he's the one bear with it but if you think you can't wait to be showered with exp gifts then look for another one ... working one lor .....
• MoNsTer

  2 Aug 02, 01:41

  when some1 dint love u the way u wan him to, this do not mean he dun love u.
• TZR

  4 Aug 02, 11:33

  Originally posted by Hershey:

  [color=blue]Well Selfishgal...honestly i can understand how you feel...cause there was at one time i also feel that my guy is very childish...but always remember...comunication is very important... anything cannot work out, best is sti down and talk to each other....dun simply breakup when a problem happens....anyway gald that you are still together with your guy...wish you all the best!!

  yah yah true about this... i admit to my gf that not once but lots of times i realised i acted very childish... but bo bian... hehe if i were those serious serious 24hrs one u imagine will be si beh sian rite?
  
  But of coz, when things comes to serious where we need to settle things and discuss important issues, i will be serious lah... =)
  
  Right dear? Tio Bo?
  
  I Lao Hu U wor.... hehe