What would you do if you were me?
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Originally posted by browniebaobao:i think he's a fren ba. we seldom meet coz for a few years he was working overseas. but i know him from online la.
Yun u very guo duan leh. To me, eventho i know some people from online, but we can clique and hang out often, i will consider them as frens le. Some even become really good frens who were there thru my down times lor.
i'll try what u suggested.
I think the feelings must be mutual before you can cultivate into anything great.
Very often, friendship is somewhat like love - if you are not comfortable with somebody, it's kinda impossible to develop that friendship further. And if those friendship ain't developed further, it's merely just causal friend ultimately. Of course, it would be great to have friends which you can count on and further those friendship - these are the kind of people worthy to keep and of course, you do what you can to maintain them. Even virtual friends have different 'worth' in one's opinion. Some virtual friends probably sit at some corner of your MSN list and the worst thing is that you don't even know who the hell are they because there isn't much exchange as far as you could remember.
Causal friend as people call it - see on the street would still talk cork and say hi. Nobody asked you to avoid them what - you are just not actively maintaining them because gradually, everybody will be busy with their work, life, love, marriage, kids and horde of other problems and that's understandable.
Our time and resource is limited and obviously we cannot upkeep all the friends as we would have like to. And because of that, we will lose quite a number to time, environment and changes. For me ar, I am already having issue to upkeep different cliques of friends in reality and wouldn't have that time/energy/resource to think so much man.
I rather focus more attention on people who is more important to me.
Cheers -
Makes sense.
i was editing my yahoo email groups list just now.. then i realize altho i have over hundred frens in my msn, email, hp etc.. really very close ones are less than 20.
maybe like what u said ba.. rather concentrate on the ones more important.
sometimes i wonder, isit just me? Perhaps i have changed leh. -
you can talk to him on a friend level...Originally posted by browniebaobao:i will ask him to care for his family more than me la..
but sekali he tell me 'long distance call very expensive leh'..
if i encourage him to stay faithful, he will ask me why i think he's unfaithful.
actually last year he did told me his wife was suspicious that he got other girls outside. but i din probe la.
tell him you can see that he seems lonely and that this is the advice you like to give....
make sure he sees the line you are drawing...
I'm sure bbb you can handle this...
with all his qns... sometimes just don't answer la -
Hmmm....I know someone like that.
But thankfully, he dont irriate me that much.
Or maybe because I screamed at him on the phone one time, and he stop trying to irritate me for some time.
Yah...i guess he is lonely and wants to hear other people's life to complete his own. -
Originally posted by browniebaobao:Makes sense.
i was editing my yahoo email groups list just now.. then i realize altho i have over hundred frens in my msn, email, hp etc.. really very close ones are less than 20.
maybe like what u said ba.. rather concentrate on the ones more important.
sometimes i wonder, isit just me? Perhaps i have changed leh. Well... life is like that.
We tend to focus so much on the mundane and we neglect those that require our attention.
I told my best friend this, during one emo conversation when I couldn't attend her pageant and she was kinda disappointed (and she got herself into one of the top three).
'I am the kind of person, which probably wouldn't be around when you are at your most elavated state of happiness. But will be the first to lend you my shoulders when you need one - try to fix you up and recover before I vanished and return in pursuing my own stuff... my goals, happiness and self actualization. If you are happy and enjoying life, go ahead and revel in them. You don't need me to be around in order for you to be happy because happiness is often a choice, but depression is often afflicted.'
And I apply this to many people, not just her.
Cheers -
thank u smudgey ^^Originally posted by smudgey:you can talk to him on a friend level...
tell him you can see that he seems lonely and that this is the advice you like to give....
make sure he sees the line you are drawing...
I'm sure bbb you can handle this...
with all his qns... sometimes just don't answer la -
so strange de hor?Originally posted by viciouskitty74:Hmmm....I know someone like that.
But thankfully, he dont irriate me that much. Or maybe because I screamed at him on the phone one time, and he stop trying to irritate me for some time.
Yah...i guess he is lonely and wants to hear other people's life to complete his own.
im sick with my own life liao still want me to talk about it..
duiz. -
i think she must be quite sad hearing those ba.Originally posted by Yunhaier: Well... life is like that.
We tend to focus so much on the mundane and we neglect those that require our attention.
I told my best friend this, during one emo conversation when I couldn't attend her pageant and she was kinda disappointed (and she got herself into one of the top three).
'I am the kind of person, which probably wouldn't be around when you are at your most elavated state of happiness. But will be the first to lend you my shoulders when you need one - try to fix you up and recover before I vanished and return in pursuing my own stuff... my goals, happiness and self actualization. If you are happy and enjoying life, go ahead and revel in them. You don't need me to be around in order for you to be happy because happiness is often a choice, but depression is often afflicted.'
And I apply this to many people, not just her.
Cheers
if u are really really close with somebody, of course u wish she will be there to share ur happiness. -
he just being caring... Maybe u don't like the way of expressing??
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a bit OVER le.. seems to be probing into my life..Originally posted by soulwinner:he just being caring... Maybe u don't like the way of expressing??
it's ridiculous when he asked me 'have u showered?' -
now chatting with him online.
he knows i was fed up with him last night.
he said he juz went JB to see his baby this morning, his wife is staying in sg with him.
i told him i hate to be asked the questions everyday.. he still ask me whether wana go IT show.. i said he already asked before and Im not interested. He said he's old le, getting forgetful. I made it clear to him that im not his gf, dun have to report my daily life to him lor.
Below is part of our convesation in msn..
He says:
you alone at hme?
bbb says:
no
bbb says:
whole family at home
bbb says:
ask for waT?
He says:
hahahaha
He says:
go to your house loh
bbb says:
for wat?
He says:
joking lah
He says:
actually i want joke with you say that go to you house do......
He says:
then see you so serious so
bbb says:
u married le leh
bbb says:
got a daughter le
bbb says:
Can u be serious?
He says:
that just is joking ma
He says:
you think i will do that?
bbb says:
Even if u are joking
bbb says:
Can u pls spare a thought that im a girl
He says:
so i didn't talk to you like that ma
bbb says:
and u should know that u are no longer single and carefree to joke abt such things lor
He says:
ok
He says:
sorry -
Wahhhh.....he is sooo lame!
And yah.....this kinda is joke meh? Its none of his business what you are doing at those time! -
i think he is testing the water (more likely), or he is super lame (maybe likely).Originally posted by browniebaobao:now chatting with him online.
he knows i was fed up with him last night.
he said he juz went JB to see his baby this morning, his wife is staying in sg with him.
i told him i hate to be asked the questions everyday.. he still ask me whether wana go IT show.. i said he already asked before and Im not interested. He said he's old le, getting forgetful. I made it clear to him that im not his gf, dun have to report my daily life to him lor.
Below is part of our convesation in msn..
He says:
you alone at hme?
bbb says:
no
bbb says:
whole family at home
bbb says:
ask for waT?
He says:
hahahaha
He says:
go to your house loh
bbb says:
for wat?
He says:
joking lah
He says:
actually i want joke with you say that go to you house do......
He says:
then see you so serious so
bbb says:
u married le leh
bbb says:
got a daughter le
bbb says:
Can u be serious?
He says:
that just is joking ma
He says:
you think i will do that?
bbb says:
Even if u are joking
bbb says:
Can u pls spare a thought that im a girl
He says:
so i didn't talk to you like that ma
bbb says:
and u should know that u are no longer single and carefree to joke abt such things lor
He says:
ok
He says:
sorry
Stay away from him. -
yalor.Originally posted by viciouskitty74:Wahhhh.....he is sooo lame!
And yah.....this kinda is joke meh? Its none of his business what you are doing at those time!
and he can hahahhahahahaa throughout our conversation.
he tot im joking with him. i told him im damn serious.
if he do it again next time, it wun be a sorry-got-cure issue.
i warned him and he said he will remember.
so let's see whether he will do it again. -
Agree. Confirm he is one of those, when got problem liao...then always push to saying its a joke. No matter how appropriate it is.Originally posted by sggirl07:i think he is testing the water (more likely), or he is super lame (maybe likely).
Stay away from him.
This kinda person dont dare to take responsibility wan. -
actually hor... BBB oso got fault... if I were BBB, the conversation should goes:Originally posted by browniebaobao:now chatting with him online.
he knows i was fed up with him last night.
he said he juz went JB to see his baby this morning, his wife is staying in sg with him.
i told him i hate to be asked the questions everyday.. he still ask me whether wana go IT show.. i said he already asked before and Im not interested. He said he's old le, getting forgetful. I made it clear to him that im not his gf, dun have to report my daily life to him lor.
Below is part of our convesation in msn..
He says:
you alone at hme?
bbb says:
no
bbb says:
whole family at home
bbb says:
ask for waT?
He says:
hahahaha
He says:
go to your house loh
bbb says:
for wat?
He says:
joking lah
He says:
actually i want joke with you say that go to you house do......
He says:
then see you so serious so
bbb says:
u married le leh
bbb says:
got a daughter le
bbb says:
Can u be serious?
He says:
that just is joking ma
He says:
you think i will do that?
bbb says:
Even if u are joking
bbb says:
Can u pls spare a thought that im a girl
He says:
so i didn't talk to you like that ma
bbb says:
and u should know that u are no longer single and carefree to joke abt such things lor
He says:
ok
He says:
sorry
He says:
you alone at hme?
bbb says:
no
the conversation should stop here.... U tell him ur whole family at home for wat??
dun block him... if he boliao enough.... he will Continue...
He says:
U at home wif who?
if I were BBB... my silence would continue...... no replys....
then quite normal la... if he boliao enough again... he'll ask other question...
then me will go Yes or No or Silence.... no other details will be given...
If he really persist for more than 6 mths.... BBB... U give him a chance la... He's Sincere~!! whahahahahaha -
are u out of ur mind?Originally posted by sunny6110:actually hor... BBB oso got fault... if I were BBB, the conversation should goes:
He says:
you alone at hme?
bbb says:
no
the conversation should stop here.... U tell him ur whole family at home for wat??
dun block him... if he boliao enough.... he will Continue...
He says:
U at home wif who?
if I were BBB... my silence would continue...... no replys....
then quite normal la... if he boliao enough again... he'll ask other question...
then me will go Yes or No or Silence.... no other details will be given...
If he really persist for more than 6 mths.... BBB... U give him a chance la... He's Sincere~!! whahahahahaha
bcoz i wana why he wana know, so i asked why he asked lor.
i did pause for some time throughout the conversation lor. -
watever the case.. bbb you have drawn the line...
bravo!!! good for you!!! -
Some people can be pesky wan.
the conversation will go on like this:
are you alone
no
blah blah blah
no
blah blah blah
no
blah blah blah blah
no
can I be your friend
no.
why are you not friendly at all!
I am busy
what are you busy with
.......
They dont read, they only know how to ask lamer questions.
These are people who dont know when to stop.
Even a NO, is to them a Yes. -
eh... I hardly come here post de hor... I see ur case I buay tahan must post...Originally posted by browniebaobao:are u out of ur mind?
bcoz i wana why he wana know, so i asked why he asked lor.
i did pause for some time throughout the conversation lor.
u wanna know for wat??
give him silence treatment la.... the conversation would end very soon every session de...
listen to me... me v gd at this de... me drove quite some XMMs away le
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i wana know his intention lah!Originally posted by sunny6110:eh... I hardly come here post de hor... I see ur case I buay tahan must post...
u wanna know for wat??
give him silence treatment la.... the conversation would end very soon every session de...
listen to me... me v gd at this de... me drove quite some XMMs away le
if i give him silent treatment he will ask agian 'why u ignore me?'
u very good at driving xmm away, but he's not xmm hor! -
then u silence for 30 mins....Originally posted by browniebaobao:i wana know his intention lah!
if i give him silent treatment he will ask agian 'why u ignore me?'
u very good at driving xmm away, but he's not xmm hor!
then u reply... "sorry for the late reply... v bz...."
then u can "bz" for the whole session le....
lidat gd rite? wun offend him somemore... -
just switch yaself off ms brownie and do other things....bo chup is the best thing to do....who would wanna to tok to air rite....btw can i get to know u better?
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no way kengkia.Originally posted by kengkia:just switch yaself off ms brownie and do other things....bo chup is the best thing to do....who would wanna to tok to air rite....btw can i get to know u better? -
Hey, lady, it is obvious he is interested in you. YOu interested in him? He is married. May be he is not happy with his wife so divert his focus on you.Originally posted by browniebaobao:I really really dun like to be asked very routine questions. example: how are you? how's work? What time did u come online? Did u go out today? No ar, stay at home whole day? Are you busy? Busy with what?
I'm really irritated. This fren of mine who I know for about 5 years liao but meet maybe once in a year or two, duno y he suddenly becomes so free. His daughter was born juz a few months ago. Tho his wife and baby girl are in Malaysia, but he seem to be more concerned about my life. Damn boliao lor. I feel interrogated. I dun think I'm obliged to answer his questions lor. It's very tiring leh. It's not a once in a month thing or what, he does that everyday!
Everytime ask him dun ask me same questions everyday, but he still did it. Then he said ok, he dun ask me, I ask him lor. ><" Finally I got fed up with him, i said 'Enough'. Then suddenly he msn me 'wo jue de wo meng de you yi hao xiang bian de mo sheng le'. (I feel that we are becoming strangers) Haiz. I also duno what to say.
Then he kept asking me for my pic, my frens' pic. I showed him one pic of mine but he's not satisfied. He asked for more. I ask him for what? He said he miss me. I feel that he's getting weird. He's married and has a baby girl liao, what does he want? Can anybody help me? It's really getting on my nerves!
Good luck.