Why is it so hard when you are getting older?
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Yun's in trouble...Originally posted by Prince Cumming:Yunhaier, u've always offer deep insight & useful advices for some of the problems i've read here... i've posted several times in AA too, but u never seem to comment on my problems ....
i'm in a somewhat similar scenario as threadstarter... i feel bizarrely like i've been "cursed" so that nothing will work out right.
Reflecting, i realized i may NOT even have done anything "wrong", i'm still the same person i was (when my life was more sucessful), but the response & results i get today jus become habitually disappointing.... it's like a vicious cycle, the less people respond to me, the more negative i feel...it's not that i constantly need others' approvals to validate my self-worth, but it's jus that i've been disappointed one time too many & my life have gone so wrong that it does not feel normal....
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nah.Originally posted by Ladi:Or you get too choosy? or at least that is what all others think.
im never choosy when it comes to finding a bf..
but the FEEL must be right. -
that's what I get when I ask all the girls why are they not attached? They claim they are not choosy yet waiting for feeling? Pretty ironic... I dunno what feeling means, maybe good manly looks that turn your hormones on? I won't be surprised there will be many girls who will never find this "feeling" and being single till god knows when...Originally posted by browniebaobao:nah.
im never choosy when it comes to finding a bf..
but the FEEL must be right.
Y can't you girls try first and talk later? I used to have a friend, a girl who keep changing bfs not because she's flirt, but because she believe in giving everyone a chance. But normally, it's the guys who proved otherwise hence her multiple bfs. But she's happily married now. I believe girls and even guys should be like this. Cos to find one gem, you have to dig thru mud. -
Emo writing skills not bad sia.Originally posted by love?:Why? Why can't I just have the things I want for once in my life? Why is it always so ironic? Why is it when I want something, it always run away? Why is it so hard to find someone to love?
Why is it so hard to woo someone when it gets older? I have decided to ask her out purely as friends and she accepted the first date without any hesitation. After the first date, I find her a very nice lady but right now I have asked her out 2 times and both times got those "see how" first reply.
What have I done that have gone wrong? Why all these years my luck with girls are so bad? So many girls yet none stayed. Am I only suitable yo be good friends and not a lover? In the past, it was not like that. I had 3 gfs before and ever since the last one when I decided to settle down I could not find anyone.
I have socially active and I join many activities and talk to many girls yet the most I can go is being friends. I am not ugly nor anti-social yet sometimes I find my friendliness taken for granted. When I care too much, nothing seems to work out. But when I become a bastard, I get what I want. Why is life so ironic?
In work, I always thought I would get a job where I would meet a good boss who saw potential in me. I don't consider myself stupid but yet all I get a job was simply an average paid job with no growth potential. Yet some of my peers who are academically lousier than me get a higher paid job than me. And worst of all I get a boss that is a joker and a job environment that emphasise on papers.
All I want is a simple and happy life but why am I getting the opposite? Is it really so difficult to find love in this materialistic country?
Keep up the good work. -
I think that's more your form of mentality..? To be fair, I used to think about that too when I was much younger.. The truth is you cannot try to install your form of mentality into others... And MOST women usually won't just 'try 1st'.... Women usually don't take relationships that lightly unless they're quite troubled or REALLY OPEN type... Besides... You can't just ask someone to 'try 1st' with you when there's no chemistry...? Quite unlikely yeah?Originally posted by love?:that's what I get when I ask all the girls why are they not attached? They claim they are not choosy yet waiting for feeling? Pretty ironic... I dunno what feeling means, maybe good manly looks that turn your hormones on? I won't be surprised there will be many girls who will never find this "feeling" and being single till god knows when...
Y can't you girls try first and talk later? I used to have a friend, a girl who keep changing bfs not because she's flirt, but because she believe in giving everyone a chance. But normally, it's the guys who proved otherwise hence her multiple bfs. But she's happily married now. I believe girls and even guys should be like this. Cos to find one gem, you have to dig thru mud. -
Har? That's what TS meant by "Try first" ah...hahaha! Shows how little he understand gals, but not surprising, from his self-absorbed post.Originally posted by Devil1976:I think that's more your form of mentality..? To be fair, I used to think about that too when I was much younger.. The truth is you cannot try to install your form of mentality into others... And MOST women usually won't just 'try 1st'.... Women usually don't take relationships that lightly unless they're quite troubled or REALLY OPEN type... Besides... You can't just ask someone to 'try 1st' with you when there's no chemistry...? Quite unlikely yeah?
The first date is already the trial. The fact is - if a girl can't even stand the guy after the first date, I'm sure she would rather spend her weekends alone than get nauseated by "trying" out the guy further. -
nah.. one has to be responsible for giving chances. I dun like to give false hope.Originally posted by love?:that's what I get when I ask all the girls why are they not attached? They claim they are not choosy yet waiting for feeling? Pretty ironic... I dunno what feeling means, maybe good manly looks that turn your hormones on? I won't be surprised there will be many girls who will never find this "feeling" and being single till god knows when...
Y can't you girls try first and talk later? I used to have a friend, a girl who keep changing bfs not because she's flirt, but because she believe in giving everyone a chance. But normally, it's the guys who proved otherwise hence her multiple bfs. But she's happily married now. I believe girls and even guys should be like this. Cos to find one gem, you have to dig thru mud.
if there's a potential, i will meet up with him often as long as he takes the initiative.
but if the feeling of wanting to fall in love with each other does not exist, then really cannot force lor.. -
Yeah and then the good guys will start to say "eh she a lot of bfs type leh.. don't know whether still this still that.. must be very havoc.. not good la this type flirt one"Originally posted by love?:that's what I get when I ask all the girls why are they not attached? They claim they are not choosy yet waiting for feeling? Pretty ironic... I dunno what feeling means, maybe good manly looks that turn your hormones on? I won't be surprised there will be many girls who will never find this "feeling" and being single till god knows when...
Y can't you girls try first and talk later? I used to have a friend, a girl who keep changing bfs not because she's flirt, but because she believe in giving everyone a chance. But normally, it's the guys who proved otherwise hence her multiple bfs. But she's happily married now. I believe girls and even guys should be like this. Cos to find one gem, you have to dig thru mud.
to dig through mud you got to get dirty. and by the time u meet the gem, the gem might not appreciate it.