Why is it so hard when you are getting older?
-
x 2.Originally posted by Wanda:Maybe she finds that you don't have enough money to go out with her? Or too lowly educated?
http://food.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=240792
Food for thought eh.
Or it could be simply because you are not her type(personailty/communication-wise etc). This kind of thing don't have right or wrong one. -
...
girls again. it's always the girls.
so many guys posting in A.A because of problem with girls...haiz -
right loh!!Originally posted by mahawarrior:...
girls again. it's always the girls.
so many guys posting in A.A because of problem with girls...haiz
i thought gals outnumbered guys in Singapore, so how come so many guys got r/s problems
-
Rocky Balboa :Let me tell u something u already know. The world aint all sunshine and rainbows . It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!
-
Actually sg gals got more problem but too shy to post. Hahaha...Originally posted by Kenashi:right loh!!
i thought gals outnumbered guys in Singapore, so how come so many guys got r/s problems
Guys can find foreign bride while gals r too shy and embarass to do that! -
are you worried about not finding a spouse before you hit 30 ? or are you worried about not finding one at all ? lol .
in any case , im not sure if you've heard of this before , but people say that a woman is made out of a man's rib , so my point here is that the right one will come along no matter what , unless you've got no ribs
lol . the only thing is time , the matter of sooner or later . just wait patiently . its not embarassing to be single at 30 . you shouldnt rush things .
well , just my point of view . -
Personally I feel, as a person grows older, there will be a certain expectation to himself, or his surroundings.Originally posted by love?:Why? Why can't I just have the things I want for once in my life? Why is it always so ironic? Why is it when I want something, it always run away? Why is it so hard to find someone to love?
Why is it so hard to woo someone when it gets older? I have decided to ask her out purely as friends and she accepted the first date without any hesitation. After the first date, I find her a very nice lady but right now I have asked her out 2 times and both times got those "see how" first reply.
What have I done that have gone wrong? Why all these years my luck with girls are so bad? So many girls yet none stayed. Am I only suitable yo be good friends and not a lover? In the past, it was not like that. I had 3 gfs before and ever since the last one when I decided to settle down I could not find anyone.
I have socially active and I join many activities and talk to many girls yet the most I can go is being friends. I am not ugly nor anti-social yet sometimes I find my friendliness taken for granted. When I care too much, nothing seems to work out. But when I become a bastard, I get what I want. Why is life so ironic?
In work, I always thought I would get a job where I would meet a good boss who saw potential in me. I don't consider myself stupid but yet all I get a job was simply an average paid job with no growth potential. Yet some of my peers who are academically lousier than me get a higher paid job than me. And worst of all I get a boss that is a joker and a job environment that emphasise on papers.
All I want is a simple and happy life but why am I getting the opposite? Is it really so difficult to find love in this materialistic country?
Perhaps that is why went u decided to make the relationship last, it doesn't. Have u ever ask urself if u had set a different criteria while searching for a wife, then a gf?
For a guy, hitting the big 30 is not a big deal, so relax and let cupid do his job. -
i find it that the more persevere you are, it make the other person dislike you more. and i agreed with TS saying become a bastard and thing go your way. there this girl that that ignored at first keep sticking to me and always ask me to accompany her. when i finally started to like her and treat her good, she start to ignore me.Originally posted by :If something is easily got, you won't trsure it but take it for granted lor.
Just because the girl turned you down twice, you say it's difficult! I question your sincerity and seriousness leh!
If you are serious about her, you would persevere to woo her and not give up so easily de. No pain where got gain.......? 
-
there are many like u. dun worry u are nt alone.
I also like tat...just that i should be considered as plain jane
-
'if you have a dream, protect it.'
'do what you love. when you do what you love, you are best in what you do. and when you are best in what you do, money will come.' -
Originally posted by love?:Why? Why can't I just have the things I want for once in my life? Why is it always so ironic? Why is it when I want something, it always run away? Why is it so hard to find someone to love?
Why is it so hard to woo someone when it gets older? I have decided to ask her out purely as friends and she accepted the first date without any hesitation. After the first date, I find her a very nice lady but right now I have asked her out 2 times and both times got those "see how" first reply.
What have I done that have gone wrong? Why all these years my luck with girls are so bad? So many girls yet none stayed. Am I only suitable yo be good friends and not a lover? In the past, it was not like that. I had 3 gfs before and ever since the last one when I decided to settle down I could not find anyone.
I have socially active and I join many activities and talk to many girls yet the most I can go is being friends. I am not ugly nor anti-social yet sometimes I find my friendliness taken for granted. When I care too much, nothing seems to work out. But when I become a bastard, I get what I want. Why is life so ironic?
In work, I always thought I would get a job where I would meet a good boss who saw potential in me. I don't consider myself stupid but yet all I get a job was simply an average paid job with no growth potential. Yet some of my peers who are academically lousier than me get a higher paid job than me. And worst of all I get a boss that is a joker and a job environment that emphasise on papers.
All I want is a simple and happy life but why am I getting the opposite? Is it really so difficult to find love in this materialistic country?
There's deep resentment about your life as you likely not making the right choices/decision to effectively spur changes... or should I say constructive improvements. There is this emotional anguish that is affecting your self worth, questioning and planting doubts of your ability and yourself.
My take is that you don't have to accept such a fate if you don't wish to. You just got to equip yourself with the correct mindset and courage to work towards a positive change.
For Love:
And think not you can, direct the course of love,
For love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course
For Career:
If you dislike an environment that focus on paper qualification, then seek for a company that at least appreciate talents/effort/hard work/etc.
*** IMHO, the easier of the two evil is definitely your career because you have a choice to change job anytime to avoid the curse of working in a company you detest. There's some degree of control in which you can manipulate, whereas in love, you are probably at the mercy of circumstances (Won't talk about AOS here though).
It's true that as people grow older, they might have more difficulty in seeking potential mates. Not exactly because of their age, but more likely due to their lifestyle. When you are younger, people are put into the school environment and it's easy to mingle around with people of your age and interest. But as we leave school, if your lifestyle doesn't allow you the opportunity to meet ladies, interact and know them, then your 'market share' is probably limited.
Next is about personality (and other factors). I don't know about you, but I do know people who are almost at brink of desperation in seeking mates, unknown to them, they actually emit that sort of desperation aura that turns people off. You mentioned about a first date, but was rejected a second/third one - doesn't it sound weird? Sure, you could give her the benefit of the doubt as she may be actually busy. But if it's a convenient excuse often heard when you requested for a second/third date, you know she's probably just being polite in rejection.
Chances are, that's because the comfort wasn't good enough with you at the conclusion of the first date and thus the reluctance and hesitation for the next one.
During the date, she has subconsciously evaluated you and you didn't pass. What has happened? It depends on how enlightened you are in reviewing your 'performance' for that particular date. Most guys in similar cases never understand why and thus they repeat history over and over again, citing poor luck in love, when in fact, it's actually about themselves.
Dating is not just about the person - it's a lot about yourself.
Dating is not just about the outing - it's about the strategy involved before, during and after the date.
And most importantly, dating is not about BGR relationship - it's about building bonds with people.
Cheers -
wa u this sentence..Originally posted by pierre^^:u sure u not ugly?
1 stab see blood -
Maybe he is just telling the guy to be realistic...
Threadstarter,
You better than me liao...the gals that I like always tk me as their 'jie mei'...
Well, they don't realise that I only show my feminine side to selected individuals... -
woman knows what they want with age.
therefore its harder for you to score a date as frequent as u did when u were younger.
at least, they dun waste ur time.
warmest regards,
Angelza.com -
It time to change yourself....
-
are you worried about not finding a spouse before you hit 30 ? or are you worried about not finding one at all ? lol .
I've seen people who're single even when they're past 40
in any case , im not sure if you've heard of this before , but people say that a woman is made out of a man's rib , so my point here is that the right one will come along no matter what , unless you've got no ribs lol . the only thing is time , the matter of sooner or later . just wait patiently . its not embarassing to be single at 30 . you shouldnt rush things .
well , just my point of view .
And well, being single at 30 is one thing. Having no experience at all in relationship by 30 is another. -
Hey i'm in the same scenario as well.... thought i was the only person in the world facing this bizarre phenomenon...Originally posted by love?:What have I done that have gone wrong? Why all these years my luck with girls are so bad? So many girls yet none stayed. Am I only suitable yo be good friends and not a lover? In the past, it was not like that. I had 3 gfs before and ever since the last one when I decided to settle down I could not find anyone.
I have socially active and I join many activities and talk to many girls yet the most I can go is being friends. I am not ugly nor anti-social yet sometimes I find my friendliness taken for granted. When I care too much, nothing seems to work out. But when I become a bastard, I get what I want. Why is life so ironic?
if not because i've had a few relationships before, i would have tod i'm some kinda of hideous looking freak with great personality disorders, judging from the way i'm currently treated by people ard me...
It's like i've hit a particular bad streak... after my last break-up, in these 4 years, no whatever i do, i can never seem to build another relationship that's remotely normal...
I can take all the initiative, call & sms the gal the like, she would respond accordingly, but NEVER would she once call/sms just to keep in touch... i mean, even as NORMAL friend, it's perfectly normal to contact each other rite??
In the past when chasing the gal i'm interested in, of course i would take initiative, but gradually she would also contact me occasionally and this gives me the encouragement to carry on... whether we eventually got together is another issue, but at least i feel "normal"...
Today it's like i've been "cursed" ... that no one can ever contact me... -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Yunhaier, u've always offer deep insight & useful advices for some of the problems i've read here... i've posted several times in AA too, but u never seem to comment on my problems ....
[b] There's deep resentment about your life as you likely not making the right choices/decision to effectively spur changes... or should I say constructive improvements. There is this emotional anguish that is affecting your self worth, questioning and planting doubts of your ability and yourself.
Next is about personality (and other factors). I don't know about you, but I do know people who are almost at brink of desperation in seeking mates, unknown to them, they actually emit that sort of desperation aura that turns people off. You mentioned about a first date, but was rejected a second/third one - doesn't it sound weird? Sure, you could give her the benefit of the doubt as she may be actually busy. But if it's a convenient excuse often heard when you requested for a second/third date, you know she's probably just being polite in rejection.
Chances are, that's because the comfort wasn't good enough with you at the conclusion of the first date and thus the reluctance and hesitation for the next one.
i'm in a somewhat similar scenario as threadstarter... i feel bizarrely like i've been "cursed" so that nothing will work out right.
Reflecting, i realized i may NOT even have done anything "wrong", i'm still the same person i was (when my life was more sucessful), but the response & results i get today jus become habitually disappointing.... it's like a vicious cycle, the less people respond to me, the more negative i feel...it's not that i constantly need others' approvals to validate my self-worth, but it's jus that i've been disappointed one time too many & my life have gone so wrong that it does not feel normal.... -
Originally posted by Prince Cumming:Yunhaier, u've always offer deep insight & useful advices for some of the problems i've read here... i've posted several times in AA too, but u never seem to comment on my problems ....
i'm in a somewhat similar scenario as threadstarter... i feel bizarrely like i've been "cursed" so that nothing will work out right.
Reflecting, i realized i may NOT even have done anything "wrong", i'm still the same person i was (when my life was more sucessful), but the response & results i get today jus become habitually disappointing.... it's like a vicious cycle, the less people respond to me, the more negative i feel...it's not that i constantly need others' approvals to validate my self-worth, but it's jus that i've been disappointed one time too many & my life have gone so wrong that it does not feel normal.... I apologised for the delayed/zero response to your topic/s. (Due to time constrain, I usually pick and reply selective thread because it takes quite abit of time to construct my post. Of course my PM is always available if anybody wish to ask me something in private).
And not to hijack TS's thread, I will address your issue in your topic.
Cheers -
I'm pleasant looking and attractive, doing pretty well in my career, well-educated, pleasant personality and i too find it is very difficult to find a eligible partner with good personality.
why i am posting in this thread? To tell TS, you are not alone, not the only 'unfortunate' one who finds it hard to find true love. -
jsut go SDU/SDSOriginally posted by love?:Why? Why can't I just have the things I want for once in my life? Why is it always so ironic? Why is it when I want something, it always run away? Why is it so hard to find someone to love?
Why is it so hard to woo someone when it gets older? I have decided to ask her out purely as friends and she accepted the first date without any hesitation. After the first date, I find her a very nice lady but right now I have asked her out 2 times and both times got those "see how" first reply.
What have I done that have gone wrong? Why all these years my luck with girls are so bad? So many girls yet none stayed. Am I only suitable yo be good friends and not a lover? In the past, it was not like that. I had 3 gfs before and ever since the last one when I decided to settle down I could not find anyone.
I have socially active and I join many activities and talk to many girls yet the most I can go is being friends. I am not ugly nor anti-social yet sometimes I find my friendliness taken for granted. When I care too much, nothing seems to work out. But when I become a bastard, I get what I want. Why is life so ironic?
In work, I always thought I would get a job where I would meet a good boss who saw potential in me. I don't consider myself stupid but yet all I get a job was simply an average paid job with no growth potential. Yet some of my peers who are academically lousier than me get a higher paid job than me. And worst of all I get a boss that is a joker and a job environment that emphasise on papers.
All I want is a simple and happy life but why am I getting the opposite? Is it really so difficult to find love in this materialistic country? -
sometimes when u become too good, u will be classified as 'friend' material.
it might not be ur problem, but juz that there's no chemistry/sparks. -
Or you get too choosy? or at least that is what all others think.Originally posted by browniebaobao:sometimes when u become too good, u will be classified as 'friend' material.
it might not be ur problem, but juz that there's no chemistry/sparks. -
dun be so upset!!!
booast up!!!
look at the bright side of life!!!
everyday sing this song!!!
heehee!
-
Perhaps you are looking in all e wrong places threadstarter...not all gals are bad and no 2 gals are e same~
You worth is not defined solely on your success in relationships...drawing a quote from an old email that I remember:
"...You'll never know who's falling in love with your smile..."
So keep up your spirits! Gambatte!!