Should i give in?
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since already legally married, i dun see the problem lor..
unless u are really that traditional.
for me ar, if can escape that customary part, i will juz siam lor..
black and white enough liao. -
Nike!
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Originally posted by Rabbit8:my bf and i ROM a few months ago. SInce we are married in law, he tries to have sex with me but i refuse because we haven't gone thru the customary
should i give in to his demands since we are legally married or should i wait till customary (next may)
Man would will probably realise somehow or another that there is no such thing as a 'right time' for sex.
Ironically, you two are already husband and wife, so what's the link between sex and customary? You are a 'Mrs' *something* you know? No longer a *Miss*.
I'm gonna quote this from blu_sky (and probably save it somewhere, in case of repeated topic in the future).
CheersOriginally posted by blu_sky:If a guy is willing to go through all the trouble of preparation of a wedding, getting married and honeymoon, and bear the consequences of a divorce (in Singapore), just to cheat a gal's virginity, give it to him i say! Anyway, at that time, the gal's greatest loss and grief is probably no longer the loss of her virginity -
where's shinta..?
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JUST DO IT!Originally posted by a-Lost-9uY:Nike!
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aiyooo.....u n him already married (in the eyes of law)....
i am sure he is a responsible guy who truly loves u and will be willing to take care of u and stuff like dat. well.....go with ur feeling ba, i think is ok ba....i mean, he wont force u if u dun wan, but u noe guys....aiyah no need me to say, u shld noe~~..... -
Your choice.
But why you dont want in the first place? -
How old are both of you...? How long have you been with him...?Originally posted by Rabbit8:my bf and i ROM a few months ago. SInce we are married in law, he tries to have sex with me but i refuse because we haven't gone thru the customary
should i give in to his demands since we are legally married or should i wait till customary (next may) -
eh.... then might as well in the 1st place conduct the rom with the ceremony rite... =\
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wats stopping you?Originally posted by Rabbit8:my bf and i ROM a few months ago. SInce we are married in law, he tries to have sex with me but i refuse because we haven't gone thru the customary
should i give in to his demands since we are legally married or should i wait till customary (next may)
Your parents?
or are you scared of something else? -
You're already married...
Damn weird thinking brought about by old fashioned traditions.
Say if you dun ROM, but go through customary, then you consider yourself to be married and willingly have sex with him?
You are his wife. He can rape you and be not legally liable in the eyes of the law.
For some dumb reason, many chinese have this point of view:
customary > ROM
but the truth is:
ROM > customary
Going thru customary doesn't give or do you anything. He can just walk out of the door without any liabilities. You are not protected by Women's Charter (or Family Charter). -
its your choice lah. but i would say give it to the poor man.
actually married le mah just got soem technicalities over the traditional stuff. not like he going to abandon you after he has sex wwith you -
Depends on what u feel about customary lah...
For me my ROM was the real deal, customary is just something had to put up for other ppl to see.
*pop* goes the cherry
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Rabbit8
I'm sure you have a point, I just don't know what it is. What's holding you back anyway. -
I think. Pregnancy.
No bride will want to go thru a customary with a football on their stomach and in the wedding gown.
If you choose to wait till your customary night, with red blood stained handkie to show in the morning and stuffs...then you best wait.
~~~
If not, any of you can ask for annulment of a marriage base on non consumation of the marriage. Can be done within the few months you folks are married.
That is, if he force the issue on you and you realise he isnt worth it for the rest of your life. So its your choice as well as his.
Think for yourself, can you live with a man that forces you...for the rest of your life? -
got marriage cert good enough
no nid wait till customary wedding
married still can divorce 1 lor
y cant have premarritial sax -
lol he buay tahan but he last time tahan so long ??
that nonsense -
He went through ROM already and is still willing to wait some more. What a guy. I suppose most people think that customary is more of a real sign of a married couple than ROM.
Up to you. I don't think you want to do it now anyway, so just wait. -
you're being too serious... the guy only wants to have sex, not like he is forcing the girl to do something unethical... ROM liao ley...~~ if the girl is afraid of getting pregnant, then bring an umbrella along lah. give it to the poor guy lah~~ the guy is already the husband liao~~~Originally posted by viciouskitty74:I think. Pregnancy.
No bride will want to go thru a customary with a football on their stomach and in the wedding gown.
If you choose to wait till your customary night, with red blood stained handkie to show in the morning and stuffs...then you best wait.
~~~
If not, any of you can ask for annulment of a marriage base on non consumation of the marriage. Can be done within the few months you folks are married.
That is, if he force the issue on you and you realise he isnt worth it for the rest of your life. So its your choice as well as his.
Think for yourself, can you live with a man that forces you...for the rest of your life? -
Since both of you are legally married, he's no longer your bf but your husband. Since you are both husband and wife, it's nothing wrong having sexual relationship with each other.Originally posted by Rabbit8:my bf and i ROM a few months ago. SInce we are married in law, he tries to have sex with me but i refuse because we haven't gone thru the customary
should i give in to his demands since we are legally married or should i wait till customary (next may)
If you are concerned about falling pregnant before the ceremony, take contraceptive pills or get your hubby to use condoms or anything that suits. -
Next May too longOriginally posted by Rabbit8:my bf and i ROM a few months ago. SInce we are married in law, he tries to have sex with me but i refuse because we haven't gone thru the customary
should i give in to his demands since we are legally married or should i wait till customary (next may)
Blessed is he who gives......but if she dont give how?? 
Cannot be blessed oso rite?
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he probably tahan till ROM.Originally posted by ghimpheng:lol he buay tahan but he last time tahan so long ??
that nonsense
as a form of respect to the girl wad. -
haha ok but i strongly beileve that such thing are controllableOriginally posted by R3SsH|n:he probably tahan till ROM.
as a form of respect to the girl wad. -
Was the threadstarter asking in jest? Or was she serious?Originally posted by tablelamp:you're being too serious... the guy only wants to have sex, not like he is forcing the girl to do something unethical... ROM liao ley...~~ if the girl is afraid of getting pregnant, then bring an umbrella along lah. give it to the poor guy lah~~ the guy is already the husband liao~~~ -
Getting intimate and having sex should not be dependent on marriage. Rather, it should depend on the emotional readiness of both parties ma......
Most couples marrying should be emotionally ready for these things so to be marrying without being ready emotionally is like putting the cart before the bull - strange leh.......... How come you jump straigh to 'O' levels when you haven't even got your PSLEcert?