Verge of mental breakdown because of my mother
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for my case it's not really like cut off from family lor....u see i just now was reffering to my father side home where i had my miseries there and then after much struggle and sacrifices at last i went to my mother side where i have found my true freedom and independence so such that i try to learn to be independent myself as my mum is hopeless in taking care of me much less controlling me...i got myself a fair deal....
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I totally understand. I was unemployed for 3-4 months before I got a job and that job was contract. It was a very stressful period sending out resumes and waiting and waiting. It really drained me mentally and emotionally that no one seems to think my qualifications and skills match any jobs for the time.
Then in your situation, your mother adds on to the burden. I'm sure you feel very sianed rite. Well my mother doesnt really add that much oil to the fire but there are moments where she will start questioning my luck etc etc
She will say I have very bad luck cuz its been months and no one wanna employ me. Then if I were invited to an interview and it didn't go so well she will blame my character and personality. Even though I'm sure she doesn't mean bad and its just PLAIN MOTHERLY NAGGING but the words really hurt.
I also have thought I was going mad cuz of the waiting and unnecessary nagging but I suggest you just wait it out and tune out your mother's crap.
Don't give up. I have been working contract for 1 yr(a few jobs) and finally i've gotten a perm post. I'm happy now and I am sure you will be too. Heck care about your mother's incessant nagging and bad mouthing. Its YOUR life, even tho I suspect you live under the same roof. lol. Don't let her negativities bring you down.
Altho it is very easy to say " just don't care about her la" but you have to take this attitude and really work it to your advantage. When you DO get a job, NEVER complain anything to her and just work it out yourself. Tell your friends or smth. Cuz if u complain the same thing will happen again and you will fall into the pit again. Learn from mistakes ok.
I wish you all the best and hope you do get a job soon. -
I agree with many of the other forumers here, moving out is a good solution.
I, for one, am currently "unemployed", but working as a freelancer. I gave up a stable job to pursue my dream.
However, it turns out i am not making enough money. I am still surviving, but definitely dont earn as much as a regular job.
My parents, however, feel that i should rejoin the workshop and forget about my dream.
Every day, they nag about how incompetent i am, even when i am sleeping, thinking i don't hear them.
Truth is, i have been planning to move out for a year. Am i feel that it's better because..... sometimes, it's easier to love your family from a distance.
However, due to my current situation, i don't have the means to finance my own place. It's like a Catch 22 situation. -
Yes i have thought of moving out too and stay with my sister.
However my father is not very pleased with that and i am not sure if my brother-in-law would be happy too as i can only afford to pay a nominal rental fee.
Luckily for me, my mum works so i only need to avoid her when she comes home. Of course that is bad too since at her age, she is still working while i am "shaking legs" at home. -
Hi Hardymonster.
U said it correctly. This period has really totally drained me mentally and emotionally. I can't think straight most of the times. When i go out, i don't even know where i am walking sometimes and seeing office workers during lunch time just makes me miserable.
I want to congratulate you on finding a perm job!! It's really an achievement at least for me as i have not found a perm job since i started working.
I could only find temp and contract jobs. It seems i am the only pathetic soul around with such poor working experience. Recruitment agencies asked why i only take up contract jobs. I said i can't find perm not that i don't want to find a perm job!!!!
I shall try to hang on there and pray for the day to come.
It will definitely be a milestone in my life!!!Originally posted by hardymonster:I totally understand. I was unemployed for 3-4 months before I got a job and that job was contract. It was a very stressful period sending out resumes and waiting and waiting. It really drained me mentally and emotionally that no one seems to think my qualifications and skills match any jobs for the time.
Then in your situation, your mother adds on to the burden. I'm sure you feel very sianed rite. Well my mother doesnt really add that much oil to the fire but there are moments where she will start questioning my luck etc etc
She will say I have very bad luck cuz its been months and no one wanna employ me. Then if I were invited to an interview and it didn't go so well she will blame my character and personality. Even though I'm sure she doesn't mean bad and its just PLAIN MOTHERLY NAGGING but the words really hurt.
I also have thought I was going mad cuz of the waiting and unnecessary nagging but I suggest you just wait it out and tune out your mother's crap.
Don't give up. I have been working contract for 1 yr(a few jobs) and finally i've gotten a perm post. I'm happy now and I am sure you will be too. Heck care about your mother's incessant nagging and bad mouthing. Its YOUR life, even tho I suspect you live under the same roof. lol. Don't let her negativities bring you down.
Altho it is very easy to say " just don't care about her la" but you have to take this attitude and really work it to your advantage. When you DO get a job, NEVER complain anything to her and just work it out yourself. Tell your friends or smth. Cuz if u complain the same thing will happen again and you will fall into the pit again. Learn from mistakes ok.
I wish you all the best and hope you do get a job soon. -
I also want to move out, but my parents threatened to injure me if i didOriginally posted by ellzrae:I also agree. Move out is good. Sometimes when parents and child are too close to each other, the dependence grows. Your mum still probably wants to baby you that's why ask you quit your last job (mayb u complained about it to her) but she also want you to be independent (that why keep making you find job). At this point, she cannot respect you properly because you have been her child for so godamn long so she wants to interfere in your life.
I planned to move out since I was 16, and at the grand old age of 24, finally did. It really helps, cause finally, your family see you can take care of yourself, and they are relieved. Respect right? They say it must be earned... and its true.
If u can afford it, think about moving out. Dont kill your soul. The best advice I had from a consellor when i was going thru problems like this was that i should move out when I start earning money. The fact that she saw something positive in tt, encouraged me to work towards this dream to moving out. but of course, moving out got cons also lah... -
ya lao pei lao bu si gu huo zai ar?....Originally posted by rainee:I also want to move out, but my parents threatened to injure me if i did 
...if u got the mind to move out u shouldn't have the fear seriously.... -
What has happen??
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Understand wat you mean. I left my first job, as I could hardly have time for interview. Took me 2 months to find my second job, so was at home daily.
Mother will say things like I never pray to god, so that is why so sway. Dun look good, or have bad yuan fen with people due to karma. Its all those things I cannot control at all! Its so fraustrating and insulting.Father say my pay is pathetic. (to think I was already working in the top field and 24/7)
Now at my 2nd job, which is making me so depressed, I have to force myself to work every morning. Wanted to drop everything and take on a couse, but my mother say freelancer are ALL lazy, I will never be happy (think I will really never be happy after she said so).
Okay sorrie....diverted a bit. Anyways best is to avoid your mother. Go library at nite and continue flipping the newspapers, or go Community Centre to take up course, or read books. Everynight I also dun like to go home
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Hi Sheri
Like you, i had to quit my job first before i can find time to even apply for jobs. I was totally drained in my previous job. But i think u are quite lucky to find a job in 2 months..i doubt i will be able to find one. Some jobs i apply need to go through so many tests..piang.
Although my mum didn't say all those but she did use the word "unlucky"...aiya my mum likes to compare me with my cousins who are doing so well in their careers.
So what happened to your second job? Why so miserable? It is really bad leh if everyday have to drag yourself to work..
Stay cool in the meantime
Originally posted by sheri:Understand wat you mean. I left my first job, as I could hardly have time for interview. Took me 2 months to find my second job, so was at home daily.
Mother will say things like I never pray to god, so that is why so sway. Dun look good, or have bad yuan fen with people due to karma. Its all those things I cannot control at all! Its so fraustrating and insulting.Father say my pay is pathetic. (to think I was already working in the top field and 24/7)
Now at my 2nd job, which is making me so depressed, I have to force myself to work every morning. Wanted to drop everything and take on a couse, but my mother say freelancer are ALL lazy, I will never be happy (think I will really never be happy after she said so).
Okay sorrie....diverted a bit. Anyways best is to avoid your mother. Go library at nite and continue flipping the newspapers, or go Community Centre to take up course, or read books. Everynight I also dun like to go home -
Dun really like my second job coz of the people, cannot relate to them. End up I lunch alone daily, no one to tok to. And also the job scope,....more like I went into the wrong career line.
But life goes on bah, and trying hard to convince my self to be happy.
But back to u, dun be disheartened lah....no one is forever jobless rite...
Surely there is one boss who will take u in....it takes time. I was also veri sad that time when I could not find job, because I thought (and still think) I had a valuable past job background.
Or if u did not get the job, tell yourself that the job does not suit u, that is why u were not selected, this is better than u having to resign subsequently / getting sacked later.
Regret not enjoying my break then...but its hard lah...was so damn worried than.
About your mother, think the best way is to shut yourself out from her lor. Go into your room to read libary books/ do things u like. -
think my life also not much better than yrs if u read my post before.Originally posted by dreamssie:Hi all
I am really on the verge of mental breakdown because of my mother.
Sigh..sometimes i wonder what i have done in my previous life.
I quit my job one month ago because it was too stressful for me to handle.
I am currently unemployed but have been sending lots of resumes and applications out.
My mother is extremely un-understanding and kept saying she is very unlucky to have a daughter like me who is so useless..
All she does everyday is to stress me to find a job..
Sigh..i think sooner or later i surely have to check into the mental institution soon.
Often, i cry to myself and really wish that there is someone out there who can help me.
I also wish sometimes that my parents are divorced as it is getting harder and harder to live with her. My mother only knows how to condemn me from young.
Sigh...i feel so miserable.
my mother also the typical like to pour cold water type, from young till now i have never heard about anything good coming out from her mouth everytime she mention to anyone about me.
haha...that's why i end up with very very poor self esteem and severe inferior complex.
yah, i was jobless for a period also, i couldn't stand all her nagging, her condemning n demoralizing words and to escape from it, i told her i am helping out a fren for the period of time. so everyday i dress up in casual wear, leave home early and hang out in library all that, meanwhile search for a job intensively. -
Hang on there..sorry to hear that you are not happy in your new job. It's hard if you can't relate to any one of your colleagues...i think takes time ba..
My recent experience with a recruitment agency was bad..they are simply not "sincere" in helping me..but anyway i told myself, i will look for one myself. Take it as a lesson learnt.
No la, i think we can never take this as a break, only good thing is we can wake up later but then i don't know about you, but i always feel miserable when office hours end and i never hear my phone ring. One day passes like that and next morning, i will again start my cycle of applying jobs hoping to hear some good news.
Enjoy ur weekend.Originally posted by sheri:Dun really like my second job coz of the people, cannot relate to them. End up I lunch alone daily, no one to tok to. And also the job scope,....more like I went into the wrong career line. But life goes on bah, and trying hard to convince my self to be happy.
But back to u, dun be disheartened lah....no one is forever jobless rite... Surely there is one boss who will take u in....it takes time. I was also veri sad that time when I could not find job, because I thought (and still think) I had a valuable past job background.
Or if u did not get the job, tell yourself that the job does not suit u, that is why u were not selected, this is better than u having to resign subsequently / getting sacked later.
Regret not enjoying my break then...but its hard lah...was so damn worried than.
About your mother, think the best way is to shut yourself out from her lor. Go into your room to read libary books/ do things u like. -
so strange.. see all the unfamiliar nicks here..
Threadstarter, i believe u are not new also. -
hi brownie jie jie...!!!so happy to see u here ...come join us in a club of family problem dudes....
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Any updates on e job hunt threadstarter? Any favourable replies at all?
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no i am new. I didn't use a new nick.Originally posted by browniebaobao:so strange.. see all the unfamiliar nicks here..
Threadstarter, i believe u are not new also. -
Thanks for your concern. No news yet from the recruitment agency for that organisation you told me.
I have written them another email though.Originally posted by Xiao Jun:Any updates on e job hunt threadstarter? Any favourable replies at all? -
I am so upset now. Nobody is willing to give me a chance
I called up one of those Professionals conversion programme enquiring on one of the courses. I was virtually outright rejected simply because of my age and my working experience. The person said i am still young and so still mobile. Also said I am not a very stable worker because of my experience. I wish to say except for my last job (which was too stressful for me to handle), i completed all my contract jobs till end of contract. I was forced to leave because end of project and didn't leave before my contract. If my contracts are all 1-year basis, how do you expect me to have a rich working experience????
*Sigh* I am very disappointed to say that in Singapore, i am always not given a second chance. I wonder if this continues, even if i reach 40 yo, i will still not have a solid working experience simply because i am always rejected by people. -
Still feeling down? Hmm...maybe you should really consider a short break before you commence with serious job hunting again...less stress may achieve more headway then where you're at nowOriginally posted by dreamssie:I am so upset now. Nobody is willing to give me a chance
I called up one of those Professionals conversion programme enquiring on one of the courses. I was virtually outright rejected simply because of my age and my working experience. The person said i am still young and so still mobile. Also said I am not a very stable worker because of my experience. I wish to say except for my last job (which was too stressful for me to handle), i completed all my contract jobs till end of contract. I was forced to leave because end of project and didn't leave before my contract. If my contracts are all 1-year basis, how do you expect me to have a rich working experience????
*Sigh* I am very disappointed to say that in Singapore, i am always not given a second chance. I wonder if this continues, even if i reach 40 yo, i will still not have a solid working experience simply because i am always rejected by people. -
Next time tell them that...? That your contract jobs actually don't require people to work long term but you're actually looking forward to having an opportunity with a long-term company like theirs...Originally posted by dreamssie:I am so upset now. Nobody is willing to give me a chance
I called up one of those Professionals conversion programme enquiring on one of the courses. I was virtually outright rejected simply because of my age and my working experience. The person said i am still young and so still mobile. Also said I am not a very stable worker because of my experience. I wish to say except for my last job (which was too stressful for me to handle), i completed all my contract jobs till end of contract. I was forced to leave because end of project and didn't leave before my contract. If my contracts are all 1-year basis, how do you expect me to have a rich working experience????
*Sigh* I am very disappointed to say that in Singapore, i am always not given a second chance. I wonder if this continues, even if i reach 40 yo, i will still not have a solid working experience simply because i am always rejected by people. -
Thanks. I will use that in future. Originally posted by Devil1976:Next time tell them that...? That your contract jobs actually don't require people to work long term but you're actually looking forward to having an opportunity with a long-term company like theirs...
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i agree u should take a short break before taking on another job....i was planning to quit my temp job to take my class 3 in "full time" basis when i saved up enough then apply for BC in SBST/SMRTB whereas the job is something that i wanna do once in lifetime then again save up for future studies.....then with papers and outside working experince then i go for better job...the bottomline is what u wanna be before take the chance to fufill it now so that u wun regret it in future and make yourself even more unhappy..Originally posted by dreamssie:I am so upset now. Nobody is willing to give me a chance
I called up one of those Professionals conversion programme enquiring on one of the courses. I was virtually outright rejected simply because of my age and my working experience. The person said i am still young and so still mobile. Also said I am not a very stable worker because of my experience. I wish to say except for my last job (which was too stressful for me to handle), i completed all my contract jobs till end of contract. I was forced to leave because end of project and didn't leave before my contract. If my contracts are all 1-year basis, how do you expect me to have a rich working experience????
*Sigh* I am very disappointed to say that in Singapore, i am always not given a second chance. I wonder if this continues, even if i reach 40 yo, i will still not have a solid working experience simply because i am always rejected by people. -
two words....move out....if u cant stand ya mum....worst come to worst lu su jie tou lor....this is temporary solution but it's still better than ya soul destroyed right....trust me...though i have move out but my soul already destroyed.... too late...trying to rebuild alreadi....Originally posted by Gunyandao:think my life also not much better than yrs if u read my post before.
my mother also the typical like to pour cold water type, from young till now i have never heard about anything good coming out from her mouth everytime she mention to anyone about me.
haha...that's why i end up with very very poor self esteem and severe inferior complex.
yah, i was jobless for a period also, i couldn't stand all her nagging, her condemning n demoralizing words and to escape from it, i told her i am helping out a fren for the period of time. so everyday i dress up in casual wear, leave home early and hang out in library all that, meanwhile search for a job intensively. dun be like me... -
firstly i think ur mum are doing all these for a reason but is she suffering from any illness which u dunno ??