Verge of mental breakdown because of my mother
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move out is not really possible because of finances. As of now, finances quite tight liao so if move out will be even worse.
nowadays, i will avoid my mum if possible so we hardly communicate also.
Still bearable for who knows what is going to happen tomorrow?
Originally posted by kengkia:two words....move out....if u cant stand ya mum....worst come to worst lu su jie tou lor....this is temporary solution but it's still better than ya soul destroyed right....trust me...though i have move out but my soul already destroyed.... too late...trying to rebuild alreadi....
dun be like me... -
Still no news regarding my job search
Now i try to catch up on my exercise as long time no exercise liao. This is the only good thing that i can think of which i have done for myself during this tough period.Originally posted by kengkia:i agree u should take a short break before taking on another job....i was planning to quit my temp job to take my class 3 in "full time" basis when i saved up enough then apply for BC in SBST/SMRTB whereas the job is something that i wanna do once in lifetime then again save up for future studies.....then with papers and outside working experince then i go for better job...the bottomline is what u wanna be before take the chance to fufill it now so that u wun regret it in future and make yourself even more unhappy..
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no, i don't think my mum is suffering from anything. This is just her nature.(seeing me idling at home and my peers all slogging hard earning $$$ outside)
Well can understand sometimes also..i also feel i am rather useless.Originally posted by SherLady:firstly i think ur mum are doing all these for a reason but is she suffering from any illness which u dunno ?? -
Dont think like you are useless- then you really become useless. Its called acting out a script that other people write for you. Try to like yourself, that's important.
I think you just have to project confidence in yourself, in interviews. Action first, then your luck will come. Cause sometimes interviewers just want to see someone they can trust, someone they can like. You project yourself as capable, outgoing, interesting, they are going to like you. Of course, you must prep well for any questions they will ask, even hard questions. Interviwers dont want to hear negative responses, so, even if its the truth, turn it into a positive event that changed your life.
Maybe I simplify things, but i hope luck comes when you embrace life- so good luck! -
do u have something that u wanna do in this lifetime?Originally posted by dreamssie:Still no news regarding my job search
Now i try to catch up on my exercise as long time no exercise liao. This is the only good thing that i can think of which i have done for myself during this tough period. -
u said yaself already who know whats for tmr...if u dun spend extravagrantly saving uo shldnt be a problem.....if otherwise try ways to cut down ya expenses lor like i am doing now...Originally posted by dreamssie:move out is not really possible because of finances. As of now, finances quite tight liao so if move out will be even worse.
nowadays, i will avoid my mum if possible so we hardly communicate also.
Still bearable for who knows what is going to happen tomorrow? 
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no, i hardly spend these days but still not capable enough to move out and live on my own.
Anyway, mood very down now because father just said why so long still no response for my applications?? Wondering hard since everyday reading papers that the economy is doing very well.Originally posted by kengkia:u said yaself already who know whats for tmr...if u dun spend extravagrantly saving uo shldnt be a problem.....if otherwise try ways to cut down ya expenses lor like i am doing now... -
gig you look over your resume?
sometimes maybe your resume got problem thats why don't even have interviews -
Economy is only good for our leaders...Originally posted by dreamssie:no, i hardly spend these days but still not capable enough to move out and live on my own.
Anyway, mood very down now because father just said why so long still no response for my applications?? Wondering hard since everyday reading papers that the economy is doing very well. -
maybe you just make do with a temporary hourly paid job first.Originally posted by dreamssie:no, i hardly spend these days but still not capable enough to move out and live on my own.
Anyway, mood very down now because father just said why so long still no response for my applications?? Wondering hard since everyday reading papers that the economy is doing very well.
low pay also never mind, as long as it offers the flexibility for u to attend interviews? or better still, u could be converted to a perm or u get to know more ppl n they recommend u for other position with the company etc etc etc.
there was a period i was going through a bad patch in my job search also and i have to tell lies to protect myself from further verbal abuse from my very parents. there was one time i took on a very low paying hourly job but kept it from them.
job mkt is much better than the past few yrs but still very competitive.
the differences between candidates applying for the same position can be very marginal. n there could be a lot a lot applying for the same position. -
yea good point...the i agree u shld go take up a part time job that allows u time for interviews loh...got a waiter job in RCC u wan?$6-8 a hour depending on event n if holiday or not, timing ownself book, so u can haf time to go interview when u wan...i tink quite good la...if u wan can go tryOriginally posted by Gunyandao:maybe you just make do with a temporary hourly paid job first.
low pay also never mind, as long as it offers the flexibility for u to attend interviews? or better still, u could be converted to a perm or u get to know more ppl n they recommend u for other position with the company etc etc etc.
there was a period i was going through a bad patch in my job search also and i have to tell lies to protect myself from further verbal abuse from my very parents. there was one time i took on a very low paying hourly job but kept it from them.
job mkt is much better than the past few yrs but still very competitive.
the differences between candidates applying for the same position can be very marginal. n there could be a lot a lot applying for the same position. -
yes, even temp jobs (looking at admin type) also no response that is why super low morale.
I am not sure of the temp rates now but the monthly pay(for perm/contract job) i state in my resume has already slashed by $500-700 liao.
I checked with one recruitment agency..they said still sourcing suitable jobs for me.
Maybe i haven't looked hard enough..
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or maybe ya problem is affecting ya ability to present yaself to the interviewer well.... u should just throw away your problems outside interview room then go in...first impression counts
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Hi TS,Originally posted by dreamssie:Hi all
I am really on the verge of mental breakdown because of my mother.
Sigh..sometimes i wonder what i have done in my previous life.
I quit my job one month ago because it was too stressful for me to handle.
I am currently unemployed but have been sending lots of resumes and applications out.
My mother is extremely un-understanding and kept saying she is very unlucky to have a daughter like me who is so useless..
All she does everyday is to stress me to find a job..
Sigh..i think sooner or later i surely have to check into the mental institution soon.
Often, i cry to myself and really wish that there is someone out there who can help me.
I also wish sometimes that my parents are divorced as it is getting harder and harder to live with her. My mother only knows how to condemn me from young.
Sigh...i feel so miserable.
You have difficulty securing a job?
I tendered my resignation 3 weeks ago and my 1 month is due next week. Up till now I have had 4 interviews and 1 already offered. I am going for my final interview for my 3rd interview tomorrow. The amount of resumes I sent; I cannot remember.
Have you been eagerly looking through news papers? apply to jobstreet. Amongst my 4 interviews, 2 of them were through agency. 1 was from newspaper and 1 was from company web page.
What I can advise is that:
(1) Know the industry well that you're going to enter. Unless you're thinking of entering an industry you've never done before. Still you still need to know something from that industry.
(2) If you can do what you're best at then do that.
(3) Enter firms with famous names. It'll facilitate a better chance when you leave for your next job. Also it'll be very great if you can expand your job scope with your new job. Or become specialise on it.
(4) If you're in the technical stream, stay with technical. Don't stray to operation unless you decided to change line.
(5) Stay at least 1 year on the job.
(6) Stress is every where. It's part and parcel of working life. If you cannot handle stress in the last job then you'll be hopping from job to job.
(7) I conducted interviews before and I look at the attitude of the interviewee first before anything else. Many of the interviewers also do that.
(8 ) Never bad-mouth your previous company that you left.
There're many more others can add to the list. But the bottom line is
Have a Positive Attitude!
Good luck to your job hunting! -
Hi Dreamssie,Originally posted by dreamssie:no, i hardly spend these days but still not capable enough to move out and live on my own.
Anyway, mood very down now because father just said why so long still no response for my applications?? Wondering hard since everyday reading papers that the economy is doing very well.
I am sadden to read your postings. I hope you find strength within yourself to weather this trying times.
But may I suggest you keep an open communication with your parents.
Please do not ignore them.
Perhaps you can find a good time, in a calm and rational manner, have a heart to heart chat with them.
Assure them that you are trying your best to find a job. Give them confidence that you are not merely bumming around. Tell them that you want them to be proud of you too.
Maybe ask your father for help, get him involve with your job hunt, show him the resume you sent out and seek his opinions. Your father may ask around for you if there is any job openings you can try.
Referals is always good.
Asian culture is very much about face value. Your mom also wants to have children she can be proud of. Maybe she also feel pressure and lost of face when relatives and friends ask how her daughter is doing. It is embarrassing for her to tell them she is jobless/unemployed. Please also understand her predicament.
Find out from your parents what their expectations are and how they can help you to achieve it together.
Ignoring them and running away from them will only make it worst.
I wish you the best and good luck to resolving the issues at hand. -
yah .. it will be good to make them understand that u r trying yr best to get a job. the key thing is they must understand how u feel, that u feel sad that u r currently going through a bad patch in yr job search n u need moral support from the closest people around u. not them to rub salt into wound.Originally posted by jojobeach:Hi Dreamssie,
I am sadden to read your postings. I hope you find strength within yourself to weather this trying times.
But may I suggest you keep an open communication with your parents.
Please do not ignore them.
Perhaps you can find a good time, in a calm and rational manner, have a heart to heart chat with them.
Assure them that you are trying your best to find a job. Give them confidence that you are not merely bumming around. Tell them that you want them to be proud of you too.
Maybe ask your father for help, get him involve with your job hunt, show him the resume you sent out and seek his opinions. Your father may ask around for you if there is any job openings you can try.
Referals is always good.
Asian culture is very much about face value. Your mom also wants to have children she can be proud of. Maybe she also feel pressure and lost of face when relatives and friends ask how her daughter is doing. It is embarrassing for her to tell them she is jobless/unemployed. Please also understand her predicament.
Find out from your parents what their expectations are and how they can help you to achieve it together.
Ignoring them and running away from them will only make it worst.
I wish you the best and good luck to resolving the issues at hand.
haha ... actually it's hard to understand what's going through the mind of the people from the older generation. i fully understand what the thread starter is going through.
for myself, my whole life whenever my mother open her mouth to talk about me in front of relatives n friends whoever it is, i have never heard of anything good that came out of her mouth. so u know, my self esteem is extremely low, confidence low n at times i really felt disgusted about myself, that if i can strike a few millions toto, i will just shut myself from the world since people out there felt disgusted to be associated with me and have this lousy opinion of me.
that was in the past, now it's better that i hardly communicate with them.
the whole life they keep reminding us that we r losers, can never make it in life, don't pin any hope on me bla bla bla...
so u have this mindset that the whole world already condemn u to be a failure then what for even initiate to do something when u will never even succeed.
now that u have decent education they r telling us how come we r not as successful as the others when they whole life they been telling us we r losers.
really confusing n contradicting...
i don't really hate them or anything, i only wonder why they never put themselves in our shoes n understand how emotionally hurt we r to hear those things.
i don't know whether dreamssie r having the same kind of mindset as me in the past?
r u having confidence related problems? or u feel u will have difficulties communicating with people or u feel u tend to shun people?
becoz once u have sever inferior complex, u actually have a lot of worries going through yr mind, for e.g whether this job u can handle or not, or u need to be very vocal n communicate with a lot of people etc etc -
I realized that older generations like to brag about their children achievements to other people.Originally posted by Gunyandao:haha ... actually it's hard to understand what's going through the mind of the people from the older generation. i fully understand what the thread starter is going through.
for myself, my whole life whenever my mother open her mouth to talk about me in front of relatives n friends whoever it is, i have never heard of anything good that came out of her mouth. so u know, my self esteem is extremely low, confidence low n at times i really felt disgusted about myself, that if i can strike a few millions toto, i will just shut myself from the world since people out there felt disgusted to be associated with me and have this lousy opinion of me.
that was in the past, now it's better that i hardly communicate with them.
the whole life they keep reminding us that we r losers, can never make it in life, don't pin any hope on me bla bla bla...
so u have this mindset that the whole world already condemn u to be a failure then what for even initiate to do something when u will never even succeed.
now that u have decent education they r telling us how come we r not as successful as the others when they whole life they been telling us we r losers.
really confusing n contradicting...
i don't really hate them or anything, i only wonder why they never put themselves in our shoes n understand how emotionally hurt we r to hear those things.
i don't know whether dreamssie r having the same kind of mindset as me in the past?
r u having confidence related problems? or u feel u will have difficulties communicating with people or u feel u tend to shun people?
becoz once u have sever inferior complex, u actually have a lot of worries going through yr mind, for e.g whether this job u can handle or not, or u need to be very vocal n communicate with a lot of people etc etc
But the funny part about it is that they insist humility and humbleness is a virtue.
I suppose it is because they grew up with very little during those times so they tend to want to show off what their children can/have achieved now.
They like to show off but don't want to come across as being too proud.
So even if you are truly a achiever and the relatives comment about how well you are doing, they will reply to the other relatives " oh no lah, he is so useless, never this never that". But sometimes if you look at their faces carefully, the smugness shows through. Although you wonder why they couldn't just acknowlege your hard work ? It hurts.
I feel that the older generations does not say what they really meant.
It is as if showing love and concern will make their offsprings weak.
We the younger generations are very different as we believe in telling our inner thoughts and hope others will understand.
Older generations are not as expressive as the younger generations. They don't show their true feelings. But younger generations want to speak out, be heard and validated. -
Thanks everyone for your concern.
My relationship with my parents especially my mother is still OK (touch wood).
Every 3-4 days, she will mention something but I can still take it because i feel her frustrations. I am equally if not more frustrated with my current situation.
Actually, i pity my parents sometimes. I really am faring much worse than my peers. OK, i think i don't wanna talk about comparison here cause it will just made me even more depressed.
So everyone, did u get your job on your own through newspapers, agencies?
Can someone share his/her experience of getting his/her job if it is not through the usual avenue?
Thanks!! -
hmmm....me got my present job via bo zhua(New Paper) but then the job scope is si bei common one....dun need to say much....clue it is...if u wanna find a out of normal job/interesting whatever u will need to find people with a lot of friends etc...your friends who know a lot of people hence more connection to more things and higher % of getting kan tau already...Originally posted by dreamssie:Thanks everyone for your concern.
My relationship with my parents especially my mother is still OK (touch wood).
Every 3-4 days, she will mention something but I can still take it because i feel her frustrations. I am equally if not more frustrated with my current situation.
Actually, i pity my parents sometimes. I really am faring much worse than my peers. OK, i think i don't wanna talk about comparison here cause it will just made me even more depressed.
So everyone, did u get your job on your own through newspapers, agencies?
Can someone share his/her experience of getting his/her job if it is not through the usual avenue?
Thanks!!
some of the jobs outside are only via word of mouth newspaper dun even hav it so go and ask ard in ya social circles....