Should I apologize?
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no? most say yes u say no.. y leh?Originally posted by gigabyte14:no. -
sounds so sadistic.. hope thats not the case.Originally posted by ilovethesun:ifish..
i think she likes the idea of you devoting ur time to her. but that doesnt mean she likes u or willing to be with u ..
some girls jus fancy the idea that there is someone there for them to talk to, go out with when they are bored.
talkin to u abt her ex is a way for her to relive her memories. its the truth, it makes her happy to think abt what she has had before, and also hopin u give some advice or even, maybe make u feel jealous.. this makes her happy. not exactly happy, but the kind of attention that she is seeking.
\when she ask u to enjoy urself wiht your frens, its reverse psychology.
she wants u to devote ur time to her!
unless u reali like her like crazy, and tinks she is the one for you,, den wait.
if not.. i advise u to THink carefully...
dun end up with regrets..
cheers! -
faster go apologise before its too late =)
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too late for?Originally posted by thongs:faster go apologise before its too late =)
and ya.. ur rite.. still no contact since yesterday
smth normal since i became a cold fish -
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may i ask do u miss her a lot after the cold war starts ?Originally posted by ifish:too late for?
and ya.. ur rite.. still no contact since yesterday
smth normal since i became a cold fish
its a living hell ever since she ignored me . -
im distracting myself with com games.. and trying to sleep very late at nite so that i will fall asleep straight away..Originally posted by givemeluck:may i ask do u miss her a lot after the cold war starts ?
its a living hell ever since she ignored me .
but of course, there will be time when I will be doing nth and be thinking of her..
anyway, im the one who initiate it.. so who am i to complain? -
cause he trying to be extra ma..Originally posted by ifish:no? most say yes u say no.. y leh?
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she's definitely playing hard to get... she rejected you... and u both got closer... den wen she needs you... you'll be there for her... but wen u needs her... she completely turn off... its ok tat u remain friends n meeting up... but shes using you... well... tats wad i think....
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do u feel u did something wrong???
if not, why apologise??
apologising for the sake of getting into her good grace. -
I happen to know the name of that other half of you.Originally posted by ifish:half of me thinks im wrong while the another thinks just im just voicing out wads happening.
His name is backbone.
He is your best friend. You should really listen to him once in a while.
Instead of wonder whether you should apologize, I think the more pressing question you should ask yourself is this:
"What exactly do you want from her?"
Choco B mentioned in his post that the girl is acting spoilt and you are allowing her to do so.
I couldn't agree more with that.
When I look at it from the other perspective, aren't you acting spoilt and abusing the relationship as well?
Do you give wake up calls to your friends?
Do you get so worked up when a friend doesn't feel like talking?
I think you are equally guilty of abusing a platonic relationship because you are looking for something else from her.
There are people out there who are equipped to play this game. They are nonchalant about the uncertainties.
You are not one of them.
What I would suggest to you is to listen to your backbone.
Don't call her until she calls and tell her blatantly if she does call you,
"Look...either you stay or you go. I'll give you time to think about it".
This might burn the bridge and blow any chances you might have with her but you will feel that you have done something you can be happy about.
Take care. -
seriously , i cant help but to say it again. u are going thru exactly the same thing as me . distracting myself away with computer games/soccer/friends house.Originally posted by ifish:im distracting myself with com games.. and trying to sleep very late at nite so that i will fall asleep straight away..
but of course, there will be time when I will be doing nth and be thinking of her..
anyway, im the one who initiate it.. so who am i to complain?
but after i let off everything on one of my friend , i feel so much better. did u tried to talk abt this with ur friends ?
and i totally agreed on ur last sentence , "who am i to complain " -
from my experience, if she really wants to get the distant from you, that's the best reason for her to go distant from u. i had a female friend who use whatever i said to her before as an excuse. when i apologize to her, she didn't except it. 2 years later she admitted she was just creating whatever excuses from whatever opportunity to avoid me. because she really wants to reject me while she actually like me, but she just creating the reason for herself and make it as if it's real to her.Originally posted by ifish:there's this gal which i like for quite some time. told her about it. she nvr rejected me deep deep. after telling her about my feelings, she told me that we should just remain as friends.
after that incident, we did remain as friends. we got closer to the point of us smsing everyday, giving her wake up calls, meet in the middle of sg just to go out, (i live in the west. she live in the east) talking on the phone for long hours in the wee morning, etc
all this just make me wait. waiting for her to accept me..
there's a particular bad point..
she talks alot about her ex.. everytime he talk about him, i'll just pretend to listen even though it hurts deep down inside. I tried telling to her that I dont want to hear about it. but all attempt failed.
secondly, some of her actions can be quite hurtful. 1 min u can be chatting lame stuff and the another min she can be keepin all quiet saying she dont feel like chattin. makin me guilty as if i have done smth wrong. or she can be super close with me alone but infront of friends, she would treat me like a complete stranger
for the past 1 week, i've been keeping quite. keeping my distance from her.
She did ask me wad happen. I just said that "I've got my reasons and somethings are best left unsaid."
2 days ago, i sort of send a wrong sms to her.
the next day, she msn me saying that," Think you enjoying wad u having with your friend. i shall not you disturb any further"
after probing further,
she said that since im enjoying so much time with my friends, go have fun. and ignore her all I want.
I sort of cant control anymore and say
for your own info, my friends got nth to do with me distaning away from you. Get the facts right first
and of course, she went offline and nvr talk to her ever since yesterday.
i know i was abit rough to her but i just cant control myself. I've lost my patience.
so should i apologize?
the reason i distaning away from you is because i want a time off. To clear my mind. Because of your attitude against me. not because of my friends. they're the one who kept my mind occupied. -
i thought of apologising for being rude to her. but however, im just doing wad inside of me telling me. just that its of a much harsher tone.Originally posted by Kenashi:do u feel u did something wrong???
if not, why apologise??
apologising for the sake of getting into her good grace.
getting into her good grace is one thing. being rude is another. -
very common situation nowadays.. haha
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juz apologise of ur rudeness.
and nothing more. -
Originally posted by curiousOrange:
the thing is, i not sure how this going to end. im afraid of not only losing her but also afraid that it going to affect other stuff we will be doing together.
I happen to know the name of that other half of you.
His name is backbone.
He is your best friend. You should really listen to him once in a while.
Instead of wonder whether you should apologize, I think the more pressing question you should ask yourself is this:
[b]"What exactly do you want from her?"
Choco B mentioned in his post that the girl is acting spoilt and you are allowing her to do so.
I couldn't agree more with that.
When I look at it from the other perspective, aren't you acting spoilt and abusing the relationship as well?
Do you give wake up calls to your friends?
Do you get so worked up when a friend doesn't feel like talking?
I think you are equally guilty of abusing a platonic relationship because you are looking for something else from her.
There are people out there who are equipped to play this game. They are nonchalant about the uncertainties.
You are not one of them.
What I would suggest to you is to listen to your backbone.
Don't call her until she calls and tell her blatantly if she does call you,
"Look...either you stay or you go. I'll give you time to think about it".
This might burn the bridge and blow any chances you might have with her but you will feel that you have done something you can be happy about.
Take care.[/b]
now i understand the phrase
"dont eat where u shit" -
but the thing is, im the one who started the cold war.Originally posted by ^mR.yellow^86:from my experience, if she really wants to get the distant from you, that's the best reason for her to go distant from u. i had a female friend who use whatever i said to her before as an excuse. when i apologize to her, she didn't except it. 2 years later she admitted she was just creating whatever excuses from whatever opportunity to avoid me. because she really wants to reject me while she actually like me, but she just creating the reason for herself and make it as if it's real to her.
she was wondering why i distant myself when i start being harsh on her.. now i feel bad about it
im tired. mentally tired -
i tried telling my friends about it. but its abit hard to understand cause most of them dont know her. for those who know her abit difficult to talk to. dont want to create further mess.Originally posted by givemeluck:seriously , i cant help but to say it again. u are going thru exactly the same thing as me . distracting myself away with computer games/soccer/friends house.
but after i let off everything on one of my friend , i feel so much better. did u tried to talk abt this with ur friends ?
and i totally agreed on ur last sentence , "who am i to complain "
ohh well the only person who i share everything with is the stray cat at my void deck. -
serious ? talking to the stray cat ?Originally posted by ifish:i tried telling my friends about it. but its abit hard to understand cause most of them dont know her. for those who know her abit difficult to talk to. dont want to create further mess.
ohh well the only person who i share everything with is the stray cat at my void deck. -
yea sort ofOriginally posted by givemeluck:serious ? talking to the stray cat ? -
if u think u're wrong, then apologise?
if u dun feel like apologising, wait some time after u cool down before u talk to her again? if u feel like talking to her then talk? dun feel like then dun talk?
if for me, i'd just take it as though nth happen.. if the other party still angry then see how loh.. =X -
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Originally posted by ifish:there's this gal which i like for quite some time. told her about it. she nvr rejected me deep deep. after telling her about my feelings, she told me that we should just remain as friends.
after that incident, we did remain as friends. we got closer to the point of us smsing everyday, giving her wake up calls, meet in the middle of sg just to go out, (i live in the west. she live in the east) talking on the phone for long hours in the wee morning, etc
all this just make me wait. waiting for her to accept me..
there's a particular bad point..
she talks alot about her ex.. everytime he talk about him, i'll just pretend to listen even though it hurts deep down inside. I tried telling to her that I dont want to hear about it. but all attempt failed.
secondly, some of her actions can be quite hurtful. 1 min u can be chatting lame stuff and the another min she can be keepin all quiet saying she dont feel like chattin. makin me guilty as if i have done smth wrong. or she can be super close with me alone but infront of friends, she would treat me like a complete stranger
for the past 1 week, i've been keeping quite. keeping my distance from her.
She did ask me wad happen. I just said that "I've got my reasons and somethings are best left unsaid."
2 days ago, i sort of send a wrong sms to her.
the next day, she msn me saying that," Think you enjoying wad u having with your friend. i shall not you disturb any further"
after probing further,
she said that since im enjoying so much time with my friends, go have fun. and ignore her all I want.
I sort of cant control anymore and say
for your own info, my friends got nth to do with me distaning away from you. Get the facts right first
and of course, she went offline and nvr talk to her ever since yesterday.
i know i was abit rough to her but i just cant control myself. I've lost my patience.
so should i apologize?
the reason i distaning away from you is because i want a time off. To clear my mind. Because of your attitude against me. not because of my friends. they're the one who kept my mind occupied.
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I've apologise for my rudeness. send her an sms this early morning at 2+ she never reply.
I also ask for a time out. ask her to give me time to be alone.
im thinking of telling her how i feel when im in a clearer mind. i believe this will end our past few mths r/s.
hope things work out. hope we can become friends like we use to.