hi ladies/mum/wife
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Alba,
You already know the answer deep in your heart, when you see how happy your daughter is when you spend more quality time with her.
But you are just afraid of letting go of the financial part.
How much is your husband earning ?
What is the financial liability for your family? meaning debts/loans/expenses.
What you really need to do is sit down with your husband and do some number crunching together. This way you will be able to figure out if you really do need the double income ornot. Look at where the money goes to every month.
Is it possible to downsize? Is it possible to cut some expenses here and there ?
It is not impossible for a family of 3 to survive on one income.
For children their most important part of their life is in their formative years.
Once you missed this period, it will be gone forever.
As a mother, it is in your maternal instinct to want to care for and put your daughter your priority and make sure she fluorish into a successful adult.
But bear in mind that being a full time housewife can have pros and cons.
Your sense of self is very important. When a woman becomes a housewife, most lose this part of themselves. But if you do not see this self as your most important part of your life, then you are suitable to be a housewife.
If your daughter needs you now, don't delay it any longer.
Ask yourself what you will truly regret most. Losing your job ? or your daughter's future ?
As a mother, you know the answer.
If your husband is truly one that loves the family, he will support your decision. -
Hiazzz.... no wonder so many eligible young working ladies are petrified of marriage.
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feeling a bit sad and can't do a thing, my child is always sick, now having tummy ache(happen all the time cos and bad consitipation) i think i am too tired and can't keep watch on her diet and train her toilet train now she is 7yrs old coming to 8yrs old, again she miss school today.
she call me up yesterday adn tell me to be home and say miss me, and tell me she want me, feeling very sad and just keep thinking when can i ever be there for her. but got to think of so much, but still child is most imporrant, -
hi thinking of joining pastry diploma prog at sunrice or shatec still not sure. very confusing, got to take risk and go study full time as maybe can learn more on cakes stuff and do business (small )or take order, what do uthink good or not, still thinking, worth it or not to go into study pastry full time meaning got to study 2 yrs programe at shatec or sunrise and stop working office, and confuse.
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I think spent more time with her as girl like company esp mom's company. Have dinner with her most of the days, can still keep the job. While dinner, ask about her schoolwork while you are working. Get a home tutor for her in the afternoon is also good, so that she has someone to talk to. Accompany her to shopping during wkend. For me, I dont think I will take the course bcos it seems more time consming, do some 1-2 days baking course can already then from there do own home baking.
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So what will you do?
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actually i don't know what is going to happening there (at shatec or sunrice ) if i am thinking of joining the course, what attrract me is the diploma course like i get to learn more knowledge. i don't know is it worth it, like maybe there they teach more on home business, or business kind of thing, don't know lah, i am confuse.,the course look very interesting, like i will be taught alot on kitchen, baking kind of th ings, i thought lerning knowledge is good like i hope to feel better of myself. the problem is all is full time course, i am thiniking if i should take the risk, and just go for it. wht do u mean by time consuming maybe 2yrs on the course after the course finish i guess i will be free then, maybe can do my own business. but is it relevant? if relevant i don't mind to go for it, if not what is it for then,
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It is time consuming bcos you need to acquire a new skill.Then there shld be tests and exam that you have to spent time on. Few days course is good enough. That's what I think.
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hi do u think it is a good business in spore to have a small cafe something like Tempation kind of shop selling cakes, coffee, drinks, tarts ? i dream of that. nd i dream of doing home based cooking like catering(maybe crazy) ok, i mean maybe ppl order biscuits from me, cakes from me. that is my dream and yet i get to stay at home, that is why i am thinking of learning at sunrice diploma in pastry and cakes, do u thinki it is good idea, or is it not relevant. i know some ppl they no need to go course also can make good business, is it true? or maybe i should not take the course, but he course looks nice wiht exposure and fun. of course i don't wish to be chef, but maybbe for fun of it, trying until 1 day i open up a small cafe, who knows?that ism y dream. anybody ever achieve this kind of crazy dream?i want to be housewice taking care of my child and yet half of me want to follow my dream and be something better.,so confuse lah.
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hi do u think it is a good business in spore to have a small cafe something like Tempation kind of shop selling cakes, coffee, drinks, tarts ? i dream of that. nd i dream of doing home based cooking like catering(maybe crazy) ok, i mean maybe ppl order biscuits from me, cakes from me. that is my dream and yet i get to stay at home, that is why i am thinking of learning at sunrice diploma in pastry and cakes, do u thinki it is good idea, or is it not relevant. i know some ppl they no need to go course also can make good business, is it true? or maybe i should not take the course, but he course looks nice wiht exposure and fun. of course i don't wish to be chef, but maybbe for fun of it, trying until 1 day i open up a small cafe, who knows?that ism y dream. anybody ever achieve this kind of crazy dream?i want to be housewice taking care of my child and yet half of me want to follow my dream and be something better.,so confuse lah. is it worth it, or is this course if solely good for youngster age 20-30. i am over 30 + is it too late for me?
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it's never too late to learn something new.
my late grandma made those traditional kuehs to sell out to her friend's friend and such too.
go for it! but finish your diploma 1st den talk ltr -
pls help me, should i take that diploma coure? i just wnat to sell small business at home or maybe small cafe, is it advisable to take course. some ppl say crazy like that also wnat to take course, old ppl no need course also can cook like champion, so their idea is confusing me , i am struck. i lose out alot if i take course like got to quit job, but i love baking, cooking and doing busines and i am late 30 already. isn't it too late for me?Originally posted by gigabyte14:it's never too late to learn something new.
my late grandma made those traditional kuehs to sell out to her friend's friend and such too.
go for it! but finish your diploma 1st den talk ltr -
I think you should go for the course.Originally posted by alba:pls help me, should i take that diploma coure? i just wnat to sell small business at home or maybe small cafe, is it advisable to take course. some ppl say crazy like that also wnat to take course, old ppl no need course also can cook like champion, so their idea is confusing me , i am struck. i lose out alot if i take course like got to quit job, but i love baking, cooking and doing busines and i am late 30 already. isn't it too late for me?
But perhaps later, when your child is more grown.
Right now she needs you.
If you go for the full time course, it will be the same as you working ( not sure how the schedule is for the course) like everyday ? or issit few days per week. An d for how long is the hours per day.
Frankly, if you want to start a business you should also be business savvy.
If the course also teach you these kinda skills it will be good.
Cook anyone can cook. and it doesn't take much time to learn. But not everyone knows how to sustain a business.
In my opinion, food related business got not age limit. If a ah mah already 80 years old and her food is good and tasty and reasonably priced, people will want to buy. -
I don't mean to be discouraging but I think you should see where your priorities lay. Firstly, right now you wanted to quit your job to spend time with your child. However, if you were to take up the diploma course (which lasts about 2 years, full time), it is coming back to square one again(ie. not much time to spend with your daughter). Worse, you are not earning any income and yet have to pay alot of money for the course.Originally posted by alba:pls help me, should i take that diploma coure? i just wnat to sell small business at home or maybe small cafe, is it advisable to take course. some ppl say crazy like that also wnat to take course, old ppl no need course also can cook like champion, so their idea is confusing me , i am struck. i lose out alot if i take course like got to quit job, but i love baking, cooking and doing busines and i am late 30 already. isn't it too late for me?
While 2 years is not a long time for a course, however, by the time the course ends, your daughter will be 10 or 11 years old. Imo, you might consider taking up the course in future when your daughter is older. If you are talking about a home business of selling cakes and cookies to people from home, you won't need a cert for it. Those Shatec cert is imo, more for ppl who are going to work in restaurants or hotel F & B industry. As for opening a small cafe, well there are alot of overheads to consider. Rental in Singapore is not cheap. On top of that, you will have to hire 1-2 ppl for cashiering/waitressing to assist you in looking after the shop if you do not want to be the whole time it is open for business. From what I see, cafes most peak period time is normally from afternoon until late at night(you have to at least be operating during this time to earn more money from cust). Again, this won't leave you much time to spend with your child. I understand that this is your dream, but ultimately, you need to decide where your priority lays in. You can always pursue it when your child is older.
As for quiting your current job to look after your child, it will have to be a decision between you and your husband. You will need your husband's support in this. Even if you continue working, I believe you can spare some time for your child no matter how tired you are. Especially during the weekends, I believe your whole family can go out to places like a nearby park etc for walks. Either way, some sacrifices have to be made. -
so very sad, i come home from work today late, and i am so terribly tired, headache, body ache, leg weak, so sick too. and my child come to me with a full load of homework, i got so irritated and tell her pls don't give me, i am tired, she said teacher wnat her to hand out her work bytomorow, i got so angry and scolded and say why must pass up tomorrow, tellyour teacher next week, i am so slepey, and sick to even look at that maths paper, english paper, i am so weak, in the end i do the sum for her and give her all the answer,i am too tired to even explain, and push her to sleep and i treid sleep but i felt so guilty and disturb, i can't sleep i regret, my brain just can't work too tired and stress @ppl at work, and just want to be alone quietly. i am so regretful , i can't connect with my child cos of all this irritation. i want to try to be good mother , i am eager, but i am just worried money not enough if i stop now. is it so important money? everyone i meet advice me, hey u got good pay why so stupid to give it up, and some say with no money i will hv lots of problem. but now i don't think i can nuture my child to uNiversity. i am sad. how to have strong heart and brave mum? my brain and heart all split in all direction, i can't stay focus at all.
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Have you spoken with your husband yet ??Originally posted by alba:so very sad, i come home from work today late, and i am so terribly tired, headache, body ache, leg weak, so sick too. and my child come to me with a full load of homework, i got so irritated and tell her pls don't give me, i am tired, she said teacher wnat her to hand out her work bytomorow, i got so angry and scolded and say why must pass up tomorrow, tellyour teacher next week, i am so slepey, and sick to even look at that maths paper, english paper, i am so weak, in the end i do the sum for her and give her all the answer,i am too tired to even explain, and push her to sleep and i treid sleep but i felt so guilty and disturb, i can't sleep i regret, my brain just can't work too tired and stress @ppl at work, and just want to be alone quietly. i am so regretful , i can't connect with my child cos of all this irritation. i want to try to be good mother , i am eager, but i am just worried money not enough if i stop now. is it so important money? everyone i meet advice me, hey u got good pay why so stupid to give it up, and some say with no money i will hv lots of problem. but now i don't think i can nuture my child to uNiversity. i am sad. how to have strong heart and brave mum? my brain and heart all split in all direction, i can't stay focus at all. -
i still have not got any real confirmation from him, he don't seem to support my ideas he say wait 10yrs later than resign, not now,he say kid need money for tuition and need money for things. and he don't seem to be happy, he say nevermind kid will survive. he never see the beauty of kid being taken care by mum. so sad. i nearly argue with him until i gave up. but i am going to try till success.i feel kid important if i am around at least i can stay with her see thru her homework at 2pm, instead of opening her homework at 7pm or 8pm, by 9pm she is alseep and i am terribily tired, no mood to talk or play with her. i got no activities as mum and child. my child treat me with no respect at all, she shout, scolded me, and only talk to her dad, any question only ask him, i am aside. i can't connect to her at all. i don't blame her, i am not giving her enough. just now when she ask me few spelling i am so short tempered then she feels hurt and walk off.Originally posted by jojobeach:Have you spoken with your husband yet ??
i don't know how to convince my husband. to my husbad i am earning ok, he is retiring soon. and my in laws all are not happy if ia m to resign and stay home mum, they rather take care of my kid and i go to work. even my child felt so lonely there. -
i am so stress that i can't even swallow naturally or properly, i feel so dry like no saliva, that i must force some saliva to wet my throat so i can swallow. i am stress.
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How much are you paying your in-laws to look after your child ?Originally posted by alba:i still have not got any real confirmation from him, he don't seem to support my ideas he say wait 10yrs later than resign, not now,he say kid need money for tuition and need money for things. and he don't seem to be happy, he say nevermind kid will survive. he never see the beauty of kid being taken care by mum. so sad. i nearly argue with him until i gave up. but i am going to try till success.i feel kid important if i am around at least i can stay with her see thru her homework at 2pm, instead of opening her homework at 7pm or 8pm, by 9pm she is alseep and i am terribily tired, no mood to talk or play with her. i got no activities as mum and child. my child treat me with no respect at all, she shout, scolded me, and only talk to her dad, any question only ask him, i am aside. i can't connect to her at all. i don't blame her, i am not giving her enough. just now when she ask me few spelling i am so short tempered then she feels hurt and walk off.
i don't know how to convince my husband. to my husbad i am earning ok, he is retiring soon. and my in laws all are not happy if ia m to resign and stay home mum, they rather take care of my kid and i go to work. even my child felt so lonely there.
Your parent in-law does not support your decision because they do not understand the impact to your child and yourself.
Frankly they are the last persons you should be worried about.
After all, she is your child, not theirs. -
If you are already so stress out. Perhaps you should consider switching to a less stressful job.Originally posted by alba:i am so stress that i can't even swallow naturally or properly, i feel so dry like no saliva, that i must force some saliva to wet my throat so i can swallow. i am stress.
Your husband is ok with you being so stressed out ?
Does he cares about your well being ???
You need to stand firm in your decision. -
Yep I agreed, You are still young enough to switch jobs. I think maybe the issue is the job is not suitable for you. Try to find a 5 days week job that works between 8.30 to 5.30pm and can go home on time. Preferably somewhere near your house so you won't waste so much time on transport. Salary might be lower but at least you are earning a salary and won't be too tired and stress later to spend time with your child.Originally posted by jojobeach:If you are already so stress out. Perhaps you should consider switching to a less stressful job.
Your husband is ok with you being so stressed out ?
Does he cares about your well being ???
You need to stand firm in your decision. -
i am not paying a cent to inlaw, they are scared if i not working, not enough money. they will get very angry if i say i want to resign, even if i am sick they advice go to work still. they are all so scared abt $$$$. for me less $$$ as long i am happy. i am already haivng stressful time just by looking at that bully @ work and at home i can't seem to cope. yeah, i got great job beside tat bully, and working hours ok, i need to work late. but i mean mentally i am tired to even teach a page of homework. bad time with 1 toxic person spoil my whole night at home. it is mentally tired.
can a family little family survive with wife not working? thanks.
which is+ MORE IMPORTANT : money or child.
some say if i stop working, it will be end of entertainment, enjoyment even marriage is it?they say i will be a tortise lost of outside world. but to me, outside world are more dirty and cunning with all kind of ppl that r unkind. it is better to stay in my shell. -
Alba, I sensed your feeling drained and down-in-the-dump is due to your problem at work. Hence, whenever you reach home, you are in no mood to entertain your daughter and that caused you to feel guilty.Originally posted by alba:i am not paying a cent to inlaw, they are scared if i not working, not enough money. they will get very angry if i say i want to resign, even if i am sick they advice go to work still. they are all so scared abt $$$$. for me less $$$ as long i am happy. i am already haivng stressful time just by looking at that bully @ work and at home i can't seem to cope. yeah, i got great job beside tat bully, and working hours ok, i need to work late. but i mean mentally i am tired to even teach a page of homework. bad time with 1 toxic person spoil my whole night at home. it is mentally tired.
can a family little family survive with wife not working? thanks.
which is+ MORE IMPORTANT : money or child.
some say if i stop working, it will be end of entertainment, enjoyment even marriage is it?they say i will be a tortise lost of outside world. but to me, outside world are more dirty and cunning with all kind of ppl that r unkind. it is better to stay in my shell.
There are many working mums who manage to juggle career and childcare. The key point is to give your child QUALITY time as being with her 24/7 does not equate to being a good mother. It's not like she's a baby and thus require you to be around her all the time.
As your daughter is schooling, why not take on a part-time job? Work when she's in school, be home when she's back. Your income will be halved but as you'll be her personal tutor in her studies, you save on tuition fees.
As for taking up a course in baking, you must know that if you continue with your day-time job, the course will eat up your valuable evening hours that are meant to be for your daughter. Furthermore, setting up a small business will still require you to work long hours to kickstart your shop and it will take 2 to 3 years to establish your business. Cake shops are everywhere and you must be able to come up with some unique recipes that your competition does not have. You will still be stressed with the manual toil of baking for hours and even more stressed if you cannot generate enough profits to cover your overhead expenses. -
Originally posted by MamaRos:Alba, I sensed your feeling drained and down-in-the-dump is due to your problem at work. Hence, whenever you reach home, you are in no mood to entertain your daughter and that caused you to feel guilty.
There are many working mums who manage to juggle career and childcare. The key point is to give your child QUALITY time as being with her 24/7 does not equate to being a good mother. It's not like she's a baby and thus require you to be around her all the time.
As your daughter is schooling, why not take on a part-time job? Work when she's in school, be home when she's back. Your income will be halved but as you'll be her personal tutor in her studies, you save on tuition fees.
As for taking up a course in baking, you must know that if you continue with your day-time job, the course will eat up your valuable evening hours that are meant to be for your daughter. Furthermore, setting up a small business will still require you to work long hours to kickstart your shop and it will take 2 to 3 years to establish your business. Cake shops are everywhere and you must be able to come up with some unique recipes that your competition does not have. You will still be stressed with the manual toil of baking for hours and even more stressed if you cannot generate enough profits to cover your overhead expenses.
thanks if i am to take up that course it is a full time course so i 've got to stop working and concentrate to pass the course for 2 yrs then i will be home based mum caring my child, by the time shie is 9yrs old or 10yrs old. tha's my plan but am i able to do it, i am still wishing after the course i can do home business like baking cookies, as i get older with the diploma maybe i can teach baking , etc, maybe study more can become food ....what else can i be??with that diploma, degree course in surise. -
as metnioned, your child needs you now. not 2 years later after you finish the course in baking.
and for that matter, BreadTalk found CEO dont know how to bake. think about it.