Relationship problems.. What should i do???

• endlessSorrow~~

  17 Apr 07, 00:02

  I don't understand.. Is there really such a thing as "insensitivity"? My bf din't remember my last birthday, and din't buy anything for me on our 1st anniversary, etc..
  
  All these i don't really mind, but last X'mas, he gave me a really big present: I found out from his sms that he had been having a fling outside. I confronted him n he confessed that he met up with this girl for 3 times, each time paying her money. I forgave him as I really love him alot but I had been through alot of emotional stress.. Insecurity, being paranoid, and I've always been finding faults with him..
  
  We've been together for a year already, i really dunno what to do?! both holding on n letting go hurt me n I dunno why is he holding on to it either What'd u do if u were me?? Do u think that such a guy can be trusted again??
• BenBenDeZhu

  17 Apr 07, 00:23

  break up
• iSpeak

  17 Apr 07, 00:37

  Dump that asshole!!
• ghimpheng

  17 Apr 07, 00:42

  cannot be trusted @ all
  
  leave him and heal your wounds
• soulwinner

  17 Apr 07, 00:43

  Breaking up who entitle you to a new destiny...
• mystee

  17 Apr 07, 00:50

  Originally posted by endlessSorrow~~:

  I don't understand.. Is there really such a thing as "insensitivity"? My bf din't remember my last birthday, and din't buy anything for me on our 1st anniversary, etc..
  
  All these i don't really mind, but last X'mas, he gave me a really big present: I found out from his sms that he had been having a fling outside. I confronted him n he confessed that he met up with this girl for 3 times, each time paying her money. I forgave him as I really love him alot but I had been through alot of emotional stress.. Insecurity, being paranoid, and I've always been finding faults with him..
  
  We've been together for a year already, i really dunno what to do?! both holding on n letting go hurt me n I dunno why is he holding on to it either What'd u do if u were me?? Do u think that such a guy can be trusted again??

  seriously lar.. dump him...
  
  he has a fling outside.. that is too over.. how would u noe he wont do it again behind ur back? i noe is hard to jz break up & suffer.. but would u wan suffering in short term or long term? do u trust him when u guys eventually get married? if not, y hold on to this insecure r/s?
  
  from all these factors that u mentioned above.. i can c that he really dun treasure u.. so i c no point y u should continue on despite the fact that u love him so much.. for gals.. is impt to find someone who u can find security in the r/s.. & he treasure u like a precious stone..
  
  as for y he is holding on maybe becos.. he is not on the lossing end..
  
• sir sickolot II

  17 Apr 07, 00:53

  nope, and trust me...i'm a guy...and i find this act of his really 'low'.
  
  just get a move on with life. dump him.
  
• Bontakun

  17 Apr 07, 01:02

  Well... I certainly cannot disagree with those who answered you and strongly recommend you to break up with him, but I rather not tell you what to do. You decide what you do.
  
  What I can tell you... or rather, ASK you is: What is your reason for being with him initially? Do you still hold to that same reason now?
  
  Did you know him to be 'not so devoted' before you decided to date with him? If you cannot bring yourself to trust him, how about trusting yourself? Trust your own decisions?
  
  Supposedly you 'break up' with him. How can you make sure that in the future, the person you date with will not do this to you?
  
  Will you instead hang on to this relationship and 'guide' him back to be 100% devoted to you?
  
  How about your friends? Your parents? Someone you know pretty well? Does anyone of them encountered this? Why not consult them and ask for their opinions too?
• Darkness_hacker99

  17 Apr 07, 01:05

  That guy dont deserve your love. break up.
• Quiet Guy

  17 Apr 07, 01:26

  Haizzz.. another tree being choped.. soon the forest will become botak
• Gackt247

  17 Apr 07, 01:31

  The ans is simple.. assuming tt all the evidence u posted is accurate.. dump him.
  
  If u r gonna continue seeing him.. u r juz plain naive.
  
  I know it sucks to be 2-timed.. but continuing only makes u and idiot. An emotional wreck.
  
  Com'on.. u r no longer a kid.. u r an adult.. start thinking like a mature one.
  
  Good luck. Be strong girl.
• ironpeasant

  17 Apr 07, 01:59

  Originally posted by endlessSorrow~~:

  I don't understand.. Is there really such a thing as "insensitivity"? My bf din't remember my last birthday, and din't buy anything for me on our 1st anniversary, etc..
  
  All these i don't really mind, but last X'mas, he gave me a really big present: I found out from his sms that he had been having a fling outside. I confronted him n he confessed that he met up with this girl for 3 times, each time paying her money. I forgave him as I really love him alot but I had been through alot of emotional stress.. Insecurity, being paranoid, and I've always been finding faults with him..
  
  We've been together for a year already, i really dunno what to do?! both holding on n letting go hurt me n I dunno why is he holding on to it either What'd u do if u were me?? Do u think that such a guy can be trusted again??

  1 year and u claim u already love him? geez kids these days..
• mhcampboy

  17 Apr 07, 02:00

  
  
  break!
• soulwinner

  17 Apr 07, 02:00

  Seperate and have a good life ahead?
• jojobeach

  17 Apr 07, 02:07

  Please lah. Why forumers here all so heartless ?
  
  The relationship almost 1 year ok ??
  
  My advise,
  
  Stick with him.
  If you love him so much, you will be able to tolerate and accept him for what he is.
  
  If you love him so much, you can tahan his lies and deceit and affairs, over and over again.
  
  If you love him so much, you will want him to be happy.
  
  Since he enjoy his fling so much and expect you to forgive him after a BIG present. Let him and forgive him.
  
  If you love him so much, you will be happy to know that he is having a very "pleasurable" session with his flings during those nights he didn't call you back.
  
  Such is the power of LOVE.
  
  Love a man, love his everything. Including his mother.
  
  Such is the power of LOVE.
• BrUtUs

  17 Apr 07, 07:21

  Originally posted by endlessSorrow~~:

  I don't understand.. Is there really such a thing as "insensitivity"? My bf din't remember my last birthday, and din't buy anything for me on our 1st anniversary, etc..
  
  All these i don't really mind, but last X'mas, he gave me a really big present: I found out from his sms that he had been having a fling outside. I confronted him n he confessed that he met up with this girl for 3 times, each time paying her money. I forgave him as I really love him alot but I had been through alot of emotional stress.. Insecurity, being paranoid, and I've always been finding faults with him..
  
  We've been together for a year already, i really dunno what to do?! both holding on n letting go hurt me n I dunno why is he holding on to it either What'd u do if u were me?? Do u think that such a guy can be trusted again??

  wats u n ur bf age grp? 1st yr like tat dun sound gd... hes actuali pay another gal to fling wif... u hv to b sure of ur feelings.. if u reali gng paranoid, best is to let go... to walk the journey of r/s & marriage will need trust n love... if u can give tat, it wun end up hapi...
• Bontakun

  17 Apr 07, 07:56

  Originally posted by jojobeach:

  Please lah. Why forumers here all so heartless?
  
  

  Which part of my post did I promote her to break up with her BF?
• |=hAze=|

  17 Apr 07, 09:04

  wats the big deal about being together for 1 year already if the guy hav been cheating on the girl?? the 1 year might hav lasted juz because both or 1 party cant face the fact of breaking up.
  maybe they should hav a serious talk and decide wat to do about their relationship next.
  
• gerrykoh

  17 Apr 07, 09:16

  You don't seem to be important to him as he can't even remember your birthday. Also there is no trust. How can u remain with him?
  The impt. thing is you are not happy so why hang on to the r/s.
  There are better guys out there, give others a chance
• gigabyte14

  17 Apr 07, 09:18

  throw him la, so obvious
• jojobeach

  17 Apr 07, 10:47

  Those people who encourage to breakup, obviously have not been through a serious relationship before.
  
  You think say break up , immediately can break up ah ??
  bf/gf not puppy dogs ok ?
  After investing 1 year of time, effort and money, heart will be very pain pain to let go ok !!
  
  I can understand your feeling TS, been through done that.
  
  Ask yourself if he is really worth it or not ?
  Or would it be better to cut your loss and seek greener pastures ??
  
  Do you think you will be able to find a better guy than this cheater ??
  
  If you don't think you deserve a better guy, then go ahead and hold on.
  
  If you do think you deserve better one.. start looking.
  
  
• Kenashi

  17 Apr 07, 11:15

  Originally posted by jojobeach:

  Those people who encourage to breakup, obviously have not been through a serious relationship before.
  
  You think say break up , immediately can break up ah ??
  bf/gf not puppy dogs ok ?
  After investing 1 year of time, effort and money, heart will be very pain pain to let go ok !!
  
  I can understand your feeling TS, been through done that.
  
  Ask yourself if he is really worth it or not ?
  Or would it be better to cut your loss and seek greener pastures ??
  
  Do you think you will be able to find a better guy than this cheater ??
  
  If you don't think you deserve a better guy, then go ahead and hold on.
  
  If you do think you deserve better one.. start looking.
  
  

  
  who don't deserve better??
  who in the first place deserve to be treated like that???
  if a guy can cheat on u once, he can try again, he just need to think of another way to ask for forgiveness either by buying presents or promising the moon or stars in the sky
  we only give our opinions, it is up to her to decide
• endlessSorrow~~

  17 Apr 07, 13:22

  Originally posted by Quiet Guy:

  Haizzz.. another tree being choped.. soon the forest will become botak

  I thought that da forest already botak liao?! Nice guys had extinct already..
  
  I used to see my bf as a man of integrity but now i really doubt my judgement.. Even tho he treats me better now, it still hurts to be betrayed by the man whom i had once placed all my trust on
• T.Ryousuke

  17 Apr 07, 13:31

  Originally posted by jojobeach:

  Those people who encourage to breakup, obviously have not been through a serious relationship before.
  

  If u know there is a problem and u wanna drag on, it also doesn't means a good ending. In r/s both must put in effort. Yes is not good to advise for a break out, end of the day anybody have r/s can only decide themself whether to continue or not. But doesn't mean those who suggest break off never gone through all this. In the end wasting their youth in the jerk is what u wanna to see on TS or whoever in this situation? Base on case to case, IQ and EQ do play apart in r/s, but if TS is smart enough she should know what to do. Then she no need yr help liao.
• soulwinner

  17 Apr 07, 13:37

  just let it go before it is too late...