Relationship problems.. What should i do???
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i have a 5 years r/s.. not sure if u think is long enough or if is serious or not..Originally posted by jojobeach:Those people who encourage to breakup, obviously have not been through a serious relationship before.
You think say break up , immediately can break up ah ??
bf/gf not puppy dogs ok ?
After investing 1 year of time, effort and money, heart will be very pain pain to let go ok !!
I can understand your feeling TS, been through done that.
Ask yourself if he is really worth it or not ?
Or would it be better to cut your loss and seek greener pastures ??
Do you think you will be able to find a better guy than this cheater ??
If you don't think you deserve a better guy, then go ahead and hold on.
If you do think you deserve better one.. start looking.
who duno that break up need courage & heart will be very pain pain?
& did we ever say break up.. can immediately break ah? of cos it takes time & consideration... & many other factors....
but now.. obviously TS's bf is someone who is not advisable to stay with for long.. and so we are giving her advise on what we think will be the best route for her.. but of cos, in the end, she will still have to decide for herself.. -
hello there, your bf is only the fern that grown on the side of the tree le.Originally posted by endlessSorrow~~:I thought that da forest already botak liao?! Nice guys had extinct already..
I used to see my bf as a man of integrity but now i really doubt my judgement.. Even tho he treats me better now, it still hurts to be betrayed by the man whom i had once placed all my trust on
sad to say, you have chossen a fern, not a tree
forest botak, still got jungle out there
take a break TS. learn some gardening skills and choose a good tree next time.
TC.
CHeers.. -
Do you think you will ever feel happy with him again?
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you want TS to be dumped by her bf then its too late!Originally posted by jojobeach:Those people who encourage to breakup, obviously have not been through a serious relationship before.
You think say break up , immediately can break up ah ??
bf/gf not puppy dogs ok ?
After investing 1 year of time, effort and money, heart will be very pain pain to let go ok !!
I can understand your feeling TS, been through done that.
Ask yourself if he is really worth it or not ?
Or would it be better to cut your loss and seek greener pastures ??
Do you think you will be able to find a better guy than this cheater ??
If you don't think you deserve a better guy, then go ahead and hold on.
If you do think you deserve better one.. start looking.
to TS: seriously you should dump him. he is not worth you waiting him to change. he will not change! he will only change for the worse, cos he knows you be around no matter how he treats you. what can be worse than him cheating behind your back? what if he contract disease? still not too late to turn back.
i know 1 year relationship is not easy too. i had held on a previous relationship cos i was used to him and not bear to let go. i was afraid that i will never to able to find a good guy again. initially you will find it hard without him. but you will get used to it. why must you bear all these yourself? just treat that you owed him and had paid back. -
ok, then try this.Originally posted by jojobeach:Those people who encourage to breakup, obviously have not been through a serious relationship before.
You think say break up , immediately can break up ah ??
bf/gf not puppy dogs ok ?
After investing 1 year of time, effort and money, heart will be very pain pain to let go ok !!
I can understand your feeling TS, been through done that.
Ask yourself if he is really worth it or not ?
Or would it be better to cut your loss and seek greener pastures ??
Do you think you will be able to find a better guy than this cheater ??
If you don't think you deserve a better guy, then go ahead and hold on.
If you do think you deserve better one.. start looking.
you're TS. and you're married with that jerk. and he's seeing another woman.
then think about it.
shut up if you're not a professional. -
u started the relationship with him because??? Why did you fall for him? What was his attraction?Originally posted by endlessSorrow~~:I don't understand.. Is there really such a thing as "insensitivity"? My bf din't remember my last birthday, and din't buy anything for me on our 1st anniversary, etc..
All these i don't really mind, but last X'mas, he gave me a really big present: I found out from his sms that he had been having a fling outside. I confronted him n he confessed that he met up with this girl for 3 times, each time paying her money. I forgave him as I really love him alot but I had been through alot of emotional stress.. Insecurity, being paranoid, and I've always been finding faults with him..
We've been together for a year already, i really dunno what to do?! both holding on n letting go hurt me n I dunno why is he holding on to it either What'd u do if u were me?? Do u think that such a guy can be trusted again?? -
hallo, nobody here is a pro!!Originally posted by gigabyte14:ok, then try this.
you're TS. and you're married with that jerk. and he's seeing another woman.
then think about it.
shut up if you're not a professional.
we r just here to give advices
keep cool dude -
well, try putting yourself in TS's shoes.Originally posted by Kenashi:hallo, nobody here is a pro!!
we r just here to give advices
keep cool dude
confirm must break 1 rite?
what's the use with feelings with him while he harbors feelings with another woman? -
ts, i think u too stupid.. pay that girl $$ for wad? do u know this will make her come for more? jus dump that dumb guy who dun know how to cherish u..
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I believe that the TS has gone through enough without having you insulting her.Originally posted by blahshit:ts, i think u too stupid.. pay that girl $$ for wad? do u know this will make her come for more? jus dump that dumb guy who dun know how to cherish u.. -
thanks for the comment on me.. but i really think ts shouldn't have gave that slut the $$.. and she really really deserve a better guy..Originally posted by fudgester:I believe that the TS has gone through enough without having you insulting her. -
this is her choice in life!!Originally posted by gigabyte14:well, try putting yourself in TS's shoes.
confirm must break 1 rite?
what's the use with feelings with him while he harbors feelings with another woman?
there is no such thing as a "must", as long as she don't ever regret her choice she make in life, that's what matter
got a chinese saying that guys r full of feelings hence they tend to have flings all over the places n keep saying he love everyone
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I don't deserve thanks.Originally posted by blahshit:thanks for the comment on me.. but i really think ts shouldn't have gave that slut the $$.. and she really really deserve a better guy..
But she deserves an apology from you. -
welllll so that's all up to herOriginally posted by Kenashi:this is her choice in life!!
there is no such thing as a "must", as long as she don't ever regret her choice she make in life, that's what matter
got a chinese saying that guys r full of feelings hence they tend to have flings all over the places n keep saying he love everyone -
Ts.. wad u mean by fling and pay her money?
as good as prositute wad..
not sure if u guys watch wo cai x3 recently..talking about silly girls whom have lousy flirty bf who cheats
tS..dun b like them -
It is up to her one lah... relationship where got right and wrong one? as long as both sides want to continue, are willing to continue, they will grow old together...Originally posted by tek_koh:Ts.. wad u mean by fling and pay her money?
as good as prositute wad..
not sure if u guys watch wo cai x3 recently..talking about silly girls whom have lousy flirty bf who cheats
tS..dun b like them -
Nice guys in your mind are extinct because you did not try to look for one. Can you GUARANTEE ALL nice guys which you perceived to be are really gone?Originally posted by endlessSorrow~~:I thought that da forest already botak liao?! Nice guys had extinct already..
I used to see my bf as a man of integrity but now i really doubt my judgement.. Even tho he treats me better now, it still hurts to be betrayed by the man whom i had once placed all my trust on
A population of 6 billion in the human race and you have a better odd of finding a nice guy than winning the Singapore sweep. -
no link laOriginally posted by fudgester:I don't deserve thanks.
But she deserves an apology from you.
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not me.. her bf does.. and it should be something more than that her bf owes her..Originally posted by fudgester:I don't deserve thanks.
But she deserves an apology from you. -
A relationship need trust,hmm is he a friendly person whom have lots of friends?Anyway since he is being honest to u,you should ask yourself,do u still love him??can u accept the fact that he can have a fling with other girls too?????????
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CAN YOUR BF BE TRUSTED AGAIN? NOBODY CAN ANSWER THAT EXCEPT YOU.Originally posted by endlessSorrow~~:I don't understand.. Is there really such a thing as "insensitivity"? My bf din't remember my last birthday, and din't buy anything for me on our 1st anniversary, etc..
ANY GUY WHO IS SERIOUS WITH THEIR GF WILL NEVER FORGET IMPORTANT DATES.
All these i don't really mind, but last X'mas, he gave me a really big present: I found out from his sms that he had been having a fling outside. I confronted him n he confessed that he met up with this girl for 3 times, each time paying her money.
HE PAID A GIRL MONEY EACH TIME HE MET HER? IS SHE A PROSTITUTE? WHY DID HE GO TO HER? IS IT BECOS OF SEX?
I forgave him as I really love him alot but I had been through alot of emotional stress.. Insecurity, being paranoid, and I've always been finding faults with him..
APPARENTLY YOU HAVE LOST YOUR TRUST IN HIM AND TRUST IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR A RELATIONSHIP TO WORK.
We've been together for a year already, i really dunno what to do?! both holding on n letting go hurt me n I dunno why is he holding on to it either What'd u do if u were me?? Do u think that such a guy can be trusted again??
My Point of View
It is difficult to give advice when the info given by TS is not detailed. There was no mention about her age n her bf's age. I don't know if theirs is a relationship or not de....
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"Zi zhao fan nao. Zi zhao si lu" After finding out wat kind of person he was and you still bang your head against the wall. Walau, you must have a hard head. No problem become problem. Haiz.Originally posted by endlessSorrow~~:I don't understand.. Is there really such a thing as "insensitivity"? My bf din't remember my last birthday, and din't buy anything for me on our 1st anniversary, etc..
All these i don't really mind, but last X'mas, he gave me a really big present: I found out from his sms that he had been having a fling outside. I confronted him n he confessed that he met up with this girl for 3 times, each time paying her money. I forgave him as I really love him alot but I had been through alot of emotional stress.. Insecurity, being paranoid, and I've always been finding faults with him..
We've been together for a year already, i really dunno what to do?! both holding on n letting go hurt me n I dunno why is he holding on to it either What'd u do if u were me?? Do u think that such a guy can be trusted again?? -
Hey guys.. please dun quarrel over this matter
.. I thank u all for ur valuable advice! 
Why wld i wanna be with him.. hmm i guess chemistry brought us together bah, it feels nice being with him and i used to see him as a man whom i can trust, never i thot tt he'd do such an unethical thing..
Fling.. u get what i mean im sure, its a better word to use, and it's not tt i paid her money, he paid her.. The angry part is that he wld rather spend his money on her than buying me a miserable little card on our anniversary.. Once i confronted her thru msn and she questioned me back saying, if i was good, y wld he want to look for her.. What is this man, meaning if the guy finds that the gf is no good, then the guy has the right to fling outside -
1 year only.
short term pain better than long term pain. -
Fling is a word men use to explain/excuse their cheating ways.Originally posted by endlessSorrow~~:Hey guys.. please dun quarrel over this matter .. I thank u all for ur valuable advice!
Why wld i wanna be with him.. hmm i guess chemistry brought us together bah, it feels nice being with him and i used to see him as a man whom i can trust, never i thot tt he'd do such an unethical thing..
Fling.. u get what i mean im sure, its a better word to use, and it's not tt i paid her money, he paid her.. The angry part is that he wld rather spend his money on her than buying me a miserable little card on our anniversary.. Once i confronted her thru msn and she questioned me back saying, if i was good, y wld he want to look for her.. What is this man, meaning if the gf is no good, then the guy muz fling outside
Fling means, no emotion just physical.
Fling means, the female partner cannot satisfy some needs of their male partner, therefore, the male partner seeks out other females capable of fulfilling that need.
Flings ultimately means, it's really nothing between me and her. I still love you.
So in this case, TS, I can understand why you are so adament about letting go of the relationship. Because you believe your man still loves you, therefore he did not leave you.
But will a man who truly loves his partner do such hurtful things and expect to be forgiven with the word "fling" and a big present ??? I see it purely as manipulation. And some women LIKES being manipulated.
So TS, ..perhaps you are not good enough for your bf, that's why he is seeking pleasure else where.
My suggestion to many people is , find a partner that is COMPATIBLE.
Do you think you and your partner is compatible ???