Friends to strangers
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I'm having a big problem
Last year when I was in first semester of poly year 1, I was quite close to a group of 3 other people. We met when we sat together in class. Just like any group of friends.
But came 2nd semester, where my school shifted furniture around and my table got separated from them. Mine was near the outside, theirs were inside. At first I thought nothing of it, thinking sitting outside would be better, as it is less crammed.
But, things turned unexpectedly. We still met for lunch, walked out of school together, but there was a period when my computer was spoilt (sent for repairs) and so I had to drop by the library after school to open my emails and stuff. So I'll say bye to them when we walk pass the library.
Slowly, I found more and more difficult to 'click' with them, and slowly slowly I found myself drifting away. Like for example, I'll initiate to join them for lunch, and we went to the toilet. When I came out, they are already walking away without waiting for me. Not one but a few times, as if I'm some kind of stranger. I'm no longer told some 'inner circle' stuff, or the 'gossip'. They discuss stuff among themselves. And I begun to feel outcasted.
During small group work, they'll group together and when I said I wanted to join, they'll say group is full (not fiercely) or "join others lah, too big group liao". As if I'm a stranger.
Finally came our 3 months vacation, which I chatted with some of them on MSN, and everything seemed 'normal'. But now that school had reopened, I'm facing the same problem. Same problem of being 'ignored' in conversations, cannot click anymore, and excluded from group. In this group some people came in, and 2 transferred out. I'm still the outcast. As if I'm someone they hardly know.
I'm closer to my next door class friends, whom I hardly meet during normal lesson time then my own classmates.
Could someone advise? I don't want to lose any friends. Feeling very sad now. -
Dont be too sad,kay?
Just rmb..there will be always people out there for you.. ^^
GOODLUCK! TAKE CARE!
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Well... I am not part of the outer group... but from what I know... if you people to pay attention to you, please work hard for it...
Number 1 : You need to talk to someone, and that person ignores you ( Of course, not the rude kind of ignore, if its the rude kind of ignore, forget it, this kind of friend don't want nevermind one. ), beat that guy on the shoulder, beat, beat, beat till he pays attention ( Must see who, don't anyhow beat hor, later he hamtum you. )
Number 2 : Talk loudly! Just chap in their conversation. Chap in whenever they want to go somewhere. Make them know of your extistence.
Number 3: Be the class clown... this way not only you get friends... but girls won't mind if you disturb them... coz you are the "clown", they probably know you don't mean it. But if you are the clown, please try to have a serious side to yourself... if not people will think you siao, and don't take you seriously at all...
Number 4: Get good results ( Self - Explainary... ) -
Guilmon1987, i dun think all the above will work for redstone.. i dun really understand the situation... it's even more compliacted than u thought it is..Originally posted by Guilmon1987:Well... I am not part of the outer group... but from what I know... if you people to pay attention to you, please work hard for it...
Number 1 : You need to talk to someone, and that person ignores you ( Of course, not the rude kind of ignore, if its the rude kind of ignore, forget it, this kind of friend don't want nevermind one. ), beat that guy on the shoulder, beat, beat, beat till he pays attention ( Must see who, don't anyhow beat hor, later he hamtum you. )
Number 2 : Talk loudly! Just chap in their conversation. Chap in whenever they want to go somewhere. Make them know of your extistence.
Number 3: Be the class clown... this way not only you get friends... but girls won't mind if you disturb them... coz you are the "clown", they probably know you don't mean it. But if you are the clown, please try to have a serious side to yourself... if not people will think you siao, and don't take you seriously at all...
Number 4: Get good results ( Self - Explainary... )
redstone, i have notice it since sem1 that u r drifting away from ur friends.. but i jus kept quite cause i dun wan to cause any attention or any aleat anyone..
but seriously, i really don't know wat's the problem with those guys.. or sometime, maybe it's the way u behave/ do things that makes people drift away from u..
if those pple treat u like that base on ur character, i dun think they r worth u taking the time and initiative to click back to them.. jus remember there are others out there for u also.. -
Well, I'm sure you know who I'm saying and you seen them on monday. Yes, it's them.Originally posted by blahshit:Guilmon1987, i dun think all the above will work for redstone.. i dun really understand the situation... it's even more compliacted than u thought it is..
redstone, i have notice it since sem1 that u r drifting away from ur friends.. but i jus kept quite cause i dun wan to cause any attention or any aleat anyone..
but seriously, i really don't know wat's the problem with those guys.. or sometime, maybe it's the way u behave/ do things that makes people drift away from u..
if those pple treat u like that base on ur character, i dun think they r worth u taking the time and initiative to click back to them.. jus remember there are others out there for u also..
Seriously though up till now I'm still wondering what happened. Just because I sit away from them and we slowly drift apart? Or is it that htey 'forgot' my personality and character? I'm most at ease and myself with people close to me. If the person is "cold" (in the softer sense of the word) somehow, I'll feel intimidated more or less.
Few months ago I was "reunited" with a primary sch friend from 12 years ago (lost contact for 12 years) on Friendster and we can still chat very well. I've maintained contact with friends from work and sec sch with no problems, even thought we rarely chat, I still SMS them once in a while, and when we meet up we can still chat normally.
I'm still acting normal, albiet 'forcing' a bit (no pun intended). Still trying to joke with them and stuff, but just suddenly can't fit in.
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the main part is, if you got friends you can confide with, then it's good.
as long as your classmates can corporate with you on projects, who cares? -
Well, mmm probably it is time for u to move on and make new, better friends who u can foster a stronger relationships with. Don't hold onto them le lah and u still can meet them out for lunch and all there : )
Anyway if these friends don't cherish u, then even if u cherish them, they don't Reciprocate back, you might get hurt. To protect urself, probably u have to lower down their importance status in ur heart liao. It takes time.
Or, make more effort to foster closer relationships with them and getting know them deepr. Probably there is some misunderstanding in the way that they perceive u. Anyway, if it cannot then probably u should move on. They are not ur only friends. -
damn.. u still dun get it..Originally posted by gigabyte14:the main part is, if you got friends you can confide with, then it's good.
as long as your classmates can corporate with you on projects, who cares? -
Thanks for the advice. But I didn't offend them. Last time they treated me as friend, like waiting for each other at the toilet, vending machine, water cooler, waiting for each other so we can meet and go eat or go home.Originally posted by Isis:Well, mmm probably it is time for u to move on and make new, better friends who u can foster a stronger relationships with. Don't hold onto them le lah and u still can meet them out for lunch and all there : )
Anyway if these friends don't cherish u, then even if u cherish them, they don't Reciprocate back, you might get hurt. To protect urself, probably u have to lower down their importance status in ur heart liao. It takes time.
Or, make more effort to foster closer relationships with them and getting know them deepr. Probably there is some misunderstanding in the way that they perceive u. Anyway, if it cannot then probably u should move on. They are not ur only friends.
But now, I'm like invisible to them when I initiate to join them for lunch, etc... -
r they very close among themselves?Originally posted by redstone:I'm having a big problem
Last year when I was in first semester of poly year 1, I was quite close to a group of 3 other people. We met when we sat together in class. Just like any group of friends.
But came 2nd semester, where my school shifted furniture around and my table got separated from them. Mine was near the outside, theirs were inside. At first I thought nothing of it, thinking sitting outside would be better, as it is less crammed.
But, things turned unexpectedly. We still met for lunch, walked out of school together, but there was a period when my computer was spoilt (sent for repairs) and so I had to drop by the library after school to open my emails and stuff.
Slowly, I found more and more difficult to 'click' with them, and slowly slowly I found myself drifting away. Like for example, I'll initiate to join them for lunch, and we went to the toilet. When I came out, they are already walking away without waiting for me. Not one but a few times, as if I'm some kind of stranger. I'm no longer told some 'inner circle' stuff, or the 'gossip'. They discuss stuff among themselves. And I begun to feel outcasted.
During small group work, they'll group together and when I said I wanted to join, they'll say group is full (not fiercely) or "join others lah, too big group liao". As if I'm a stranger.
Finally came our 3 months vacation, which I chatted with some of them on MSN, and everything seemed 'normal'. But now that school had reopened, I'm facing the same problem. Same problem of being 'ignored' in conversations, cannot click anymore, and excluded from group. In this group some people came in, and 2 transferred out. I'm still the outcast. As if I'm someone they hardly know.
I'm closer to my next door class friends, whom I hardly meet during normal lesson time then my own classmates.
Could someone advise? I don't want to lose any friends. Feeling very sad now.
like the 3 mths vacation period, they r regarded as good frens among themselves so they go out together. as for u, u only chat with them on MSN and they regard u as normal fren.
last time in poly i don't have any groups of classmates i closely belong to.
just normal chit chat and stuffs, they are good frens among themselves so they have outings and stuffs. me, myself i just carry on with my own activities.
but in class, we still chit chat all that, but after class i am on my own, sometimes join them for lunch only, or studies. -
I don't even have a close group to chat to or do group project with in my class. My group is next door, and due to schedule differences our classes don't usually meet in lesson time. Only during tutorials or at break / after sch. Yet when I ask them for lunch, they are always open.Originally posted by Gunyandao:r they very close among themselves?
like the 3 mths vacation period, they r regarded as good frens among themselves so they go out together. as for u, u only chat with them on MSN and they regard u as normal fren.
last time in poly i don't have any groups of classmates i closely belong to.
just normal chit chat and stuffs, they are good frens among themselves so they have outings and stuffs. me, myself i just carry on with my own activities.
but in class, we still chit chat all that, but after class i am on my own, sometimes join them for lunch only, or studies.
Last year we had a study trip to Indonesia, and I practically spent all the time with my next door group even expanding my social circle over there, since teaching by classes and class based activities were not part of the trip, and we went as one big group, the whole School (individual School in the poly). As for my 'former group', only 1 of them went for the trip.
Now my 'former group' are very close to each other. I've overheard them going out to play or to eat and I was like, am I kena outcasted or something? They never tell me stuff now, unlike last time. Really miss the good old times. -
u catch no ball say meOriginally posted by blahshit:damn.. u still dun get it.. -
ts, really la.. dun care about them.. them wanna to fuck among themselves, let them be... they have a fuck attitude which is not worth anyone to cherish.. i think even that "A" is slowly changing his attitude to a better 1.. do remember that u can be someone else's friend in ur class.. there r plenty of students.. but to be frank, i dun really like pple from ur class.. i feel that they have this sucky attitude that fucks me off.. and some more i dun think ur class bonding is gd also..
i think u should jus ignore their presence jus like how they ignore urs.. give them hell.. i will be sure they will notice ur absence..
i tio flame liao.. u wanna me ask gigabyte14 to post their friendster pic here? -
damn la.. i his sch mate la..Originally posted by gigabyte14:u catch no ball say me -
Nothing is forever in this world.
Move on and find new friends. -
Well, you've seen it for yourself. Few people in my class have personality that can 'click' with me. There's alot of people who's personality will clash with mine.Originally posted by blahshit:ts, really la.. dun care about them.. them wanna to fuck among themselves, let them be... they have a fuck attitude which is not worth anyone to cherish.. i think even that "A" is slowly changing his attitude to a better 1.. do remember that u can be someone else's friend in ur class.. there r plenty of students.. but to be frank, i dun really like pple from ur class.. i feel that they have this sucky attitude that fucks me off.. and some more i dun think ur class bonding is gd also..
i think u should jus ignore their presence jus like how they ignore urs.. give them hell.. i will be sure they will notice ur absence.. i tio flame liao.. u wanna me ask gigabyte14 to post their friendster pic here? -
i oso watOriginally posted by redstone:Well, you've seen it for yourself. Few people in my class have personality that can 'click' with me. There's alot of people who's personality will clash with mine.
i only talk to my group ppl onli
i dun talk to ppl who dun talk to me. -
Now the problem is, I don't even have a group to chat to now, much less do project with.Originally posted by gigabyte14:i oso wat
i only talk to my group ppl onli
i dun talk to ppl who dun talk to me.
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! I really don't want the problems of friends and grouping and being outcasted from affecting my grades. -
u still dun get it do u.. he's now like totally no friends over his class.. then my group is over the other class and our time table is very diff.. so that make him very alone..Originally posted by gigabyte14:i oso wat
i only talk to my group ppl onli
i dun talk to ppl who dun talk to me.
let's tell u our class structure...
we have 4 classes..
01
02(redstone inside here)
03(i inside here)
04
but the thing is, 01 will combine with 02(01 and 02 same time table)
03 will combine with 04(03 and 04 same timetable)
so becasue of this, we seldom see each other.. and pls remember our course is project based.. -
the main point is, when u bo pian bo pian stuck in a group, den do ur best, don't let them get over your head thoughOriginally posted by redstone:Now the problem is, I don't even have a group to chat to now, much less do project with.
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! I really don't want the problems of friends and grouping and being outcasted from affecting my grades.
as for results just concentrate la
lol i dunno how 2 explain properly -
let me tell u a story ts..
last time there is someone by the name chris... he's also among 1 of the "banned" list in the class... a lot of pple dun like him... but after that he changed his attitude towards pple and things.. so now pple dun dislike him as much as last time... -
Our course is design, project based. Everything is project. But is individual, but once in a while we got small group projects for our course or some modules.Originally posted by gigabyte14:the main point is, when u bo pian bo pian stuck in a group, den do ur best, don't let them get over your head though
as for results just concentrate la
lol i dunno how 2 explain properly -
Yea I remember him.... His case was for a month or so, mine like nearly half a year already...Originally posted by blahshit:let me tell u a story ts..
last time there is someone by the name chris... he's also among 1 of the "banned" list in the class... a lot of pple dun like him... but after that he changed his attitude towards pple and things.. so now pple dun dislike him as much as last time... -
Hi Redstone,
I understand at your age getting attention and feeling being wanted/needed/included is important and it is a normal process of your growing up. But you have to understand too that friends come and go.
People, environment, things around you changes all the time. So just go with the flow. Of course, you may at first not find it to your liking but give it time. Who knows? It might just grown on you. Important thing is feel good about yourself. Life is not just about sticking to the same old group of friends/things/environment. Widen your circle by getting to know more people. Get yourself equip with more knowledgeable stuffs. Learn to listen to others as well. Don't just think of the "I" all the time. Not that I'm saying you are. But hey, the world won't end cos' you weren't included in certain groups anymore.
So, go out there and enjoy your life. Tomorrow when you wake up it will be another brand new beautiful day. Good luck