Friends to strangers
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Its part and parcel of life...
I dun like losing friends also...
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I assume you are 18 - 19? As of now in Poly sem 2 or so right? How about joining an activities club? At least a number of the members will stay on till graduation and such. That is how I keep most of my friends during my poly days.
Also Yr 1 of the poly life... it will not be easy for you to have a grp of frens whom you can click well. Normally you have to wait till Sem 2 when the course goes into division where you wanted to major in with relations to the subjects (dat happened to my course).
Make more acquaintances. You have quite a long time to get good friends. Never give up!
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TS couse dun have division.. and btw, ts yr 2 and sem 1 la..Originally posted by Bontakun:I assume you are 18 - 19? As of now in Poly sem 2 or so right? How about joining an activities club? At least a number of the members will stay on till graduation and such. That is how I keep most of my friends during my poly days.
Also Yr 1 of the poly life... it will not be easy for you to have a grp of frens whom you can click well. Normally you have to wait till Sem 2 when the course goes into division where you wanted to major in with relations to the subjects (dat happened to my course).
Make more acquaintances. You have quite a long time to get good friends. Never give up! 
and ts have damn lots of cca already.. 
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I'm in Poly, year 2 sem 1 now.Originally posted by Bontakun:I assume you are 18 - 19? As of now in Poly sem 2 or so right? How about joining an activities club? At least a number of the members will stay on till graduation and such. That is how I keep most of my friends during my poly days.
Also Yr 1 of the poly life... it will not be easy for you to have a grp of frens whom you can click well. Normally you have to wait till Sem 2 when the course goes into division where you wanted to major in with relations to the subjects (dat happened to my course).
Make more acquaintances. You have quite a long time to get good friends. Never give up!
I joined a few clubs but usually not enough tiime to join their activities. I registered for a club last year, up til now never joined any of their activities. Thanks for the advice. -
I used to join my student union, biz club, & other activity clubs when I was in year one...
But I dropped out of most of them at the end of year 2 coz I too busy working...
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Still my problem isn't solved... sigh...
absolute worse case scenerio is to request for class transfer. -
Do u have friends that u can depend on in the other class? Is it common for people to transfer over to other class?
Do u still want to foster stronger relationships with ur old friends ? If u want to patch up with them, then u have to put in some efforts to make it work but then if people still treat u coldly. Then there is a limit. Walk away BUT without regret as u have did ur best. This thing can't be forced.
MmM I think u take this thing too seriously. Look around, there are many potential friends in ur class and outside ur class! U r not friendless as u have friends outside ur class. You have friends. I can understand, probably u feel scared, worried and probably "what wrong with me, why they don't want me as closer friend". Probably feeling lonely and bored in ur class? but hey, since they chat with u in msn and even joined u for lunch mean that they already accept u leh. U r not outcasted.
Probably frequency isn't there. Some people are like that one, u shouldn't force urself onto them. Find ur own niche and foster strong relationships with them. Though you can still be normal friend with this group of people.
MmM firstly i think u need to know how to love urself; wholly and unconditionaly accept urself as who u r. ( ok im just guessing here but probably u don't have this problem
) You do not need this group of friends to ascertain ur value.
Join other cca, pursue ur passion and learn new things. Make new. like-minded friends! Look LIFE at a bigger perspective. NOW is only a temporary phase in life where u will be learning to grow up.
U want more friends? Give sincere care and concern for the people around u; without much expectation of returns. People will start to notice and even befriending u.
When ur heart is kind and full of friendliness, even when u r alone, u will not feel lonely at all.
Yeah i hate to lose friends but then..... somethings can't be helped too.... -
its liddat one what.Originally posted by redstone:I'm having a big problem
Last year when I was in first semester of poly year 1, I was quite close to a group of 3 other people. We met when we sat together in class. Just like any group of friends.
But came 2nd semester, where my school shifted furniture around and my table got separated from them. Mine was near the outside, theirs were inside. At first I thought nothing of it, thinking sitting outside would be better, as it is less crammed.
But, things turned unexpectedly. We still met for lunch, walked out of school together, but there was a period when my computer was spoilt (sent for repairs) and so I had to drop by the library after school to open my emails and stuff. So I'll say bye to them when we walk pass the library.
Slowly, I found more and more difficult to 'click' with them, and slowly slowly I found myself drifting away. Like for example, I'll initiate to join them for lunch, and we went to the toilet. When I came out, they are already walking away without waiting for me. Not one but a few times, as if I'm some kind of stranger. I'm no longer told some 'inner circle' stuff, or the 'gossip'. They discuss stuff among themselves. And I begun to feel outcasted.
During small group work, they'll group together and when I said I wanted to join, they'll say group is full (not fiercely) or "join others lah, too big group liao". As if I'm a stranger.
Finally came our 3 months vacation, which I chatted with some of them on MSN, and everything seemed 'normal'. But now that school had reopened, I'm facing the same problem. Same problem of being 'ignored' in conversations, cannot click anymore, and excluded from group. In this group some people came in, and 2 transferred out. I'm still the outcast. As if I'm someone they hardly know.
I'm closer to my next door class friends, whom I hardly meet during normal lesson time then my own classmates.
Could someone advise? I don't want to lose any friends. Feeling very sad now. -
Just mix equally with everyone...
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Haiz... tell u sum1 eben worse off 100000000000 times den u...
Last time my class gt 1 guy, his results beri gd 1... bt I dunno he is honest or selfish lah... most probably he dunwan let others win...
For example, if during quiz, u sit beside him, he will cover his paper... dun let u copy 1, he'll even tell u dun copy, I might not be correct... den results out, he get full marks...
If u joke about him, he'll stare at u... giv u those I am gonna whack u face...
Then if he doesn't get 1st in class, he'll secretly have those farked up face... to himself....
I dun interact wif him much lah, coz last time we gt some misunderstanding... but as time goes by, more and more ppl isolated away from him... till he was really ALONE... the entire class outcast him... den beside his back scold him cheebye kia, vagina kid... all kinds of vulgarities...
Even heard from ppl in his CCA, that they dun like him... dunno y lah...
So during year 2 he changed course... -
no offence but in poly, u gotta get used to this. sort of a hi- bye fren relationship.
gd luck -
My bad.Originally posted by blahshit:TS couse dun have division.. and btw, ts yr 2 and sem 1 la.. and ts have damn lots of cca already..
Stick to one if you cannot afford time for all of them. Plan your timetable so you can MAKE time for them. This is also another way to make friends on a long term basis.Originally posted by redstone:I'm in Poly, year 2 sem 1 now.
I joined a few clubs but usually not enough tiime to join their activities. I registered for a club last year, up til now never joined any of their activities. Thanks for the advice.
As for your course-making-friends part, might I suggest more patience? On the one hand you can look out for new friends and see if they are worth knowing. On the other hand, you can keep trying to retain the current acquaintance-ship with those you already knew.
Friends are not exactly bonded overnight (unless you are in a war) so it may take more time than you wanted. -
yea.. this kinnda guy sucks.. i agrees... haha.. but i dun think ts is this kind of guy in my point of view..Originally posted by Guilmon1987:Haiz... tell u sum1 eben worse off 100000000000 times den u...
Last time my class gt 1 guy, his results beri gd 1... bt I dunno he is honest or selfish lah... most probably he dunwan let others win...
For example, if during quiz, u sit beside him, he will cover his paper... dun let u copy 1, he'll even tell u dun copy, I might not be correct... den results out, he get full marks...
If u joke about him, he'll stare at u... giv u those I am gonna whack u face...
Then if he doesn't get 1st in class, he'll secretly have those farked up face... to himself....
I dun interact wif him much lah, coz last time we gt some misunderstanding... but as time goes by, more and more ppl isolated away from him... till he was really ALONE... the entire class outcast him... den beside his back scold him cheebye kia, vagina kid... all kinds of vulgarities...
Even heard from ppl in his CCA, that they dun like him... dunno y lah...
So during year 2 he changed course... -
While I understand it's nice having your own group of friends, try to learn not to get too bothered about it. Just focus on your studies at the moment.Originally posted by redstone:Still my problem isn't solved... sigh...
absolute worse case scenerio is to request for class transfer.
This is one phase of life everyone has to go through. As you grow up, you'll come to accept that friends come and go. Only a few friends will continue to stay with you in the end.
Transferring class may not solve your problem as you might face the same problem in the new class. How many times can you run away from the problem? You may find the same thing happen when you join the work force too, so does it mean you are going to change job each time when it happens? Just let what you experience now to prepare you for your future and hopefully you will grow stronger and wiser.
Whether people want to be your friend or not, it's important to ask yourself how good a friend you can be to someone (to give support and encouragement, to be willing to share the ups and downs etc.). We can't always just take from friends without doing the giving.
Anyway, I wish you all the best and hopefully it's not too long before you come across new friends! -
Please! Cheer up! Friends come and go. "Yuan Fen" stop means stop. The friendship may not be meant to last longer than the period it has.
Move on and make new friends. Poly is a great time of your life. Take a deep breath, smell the flowers, walk in the sunshine!
Stay cheerful. -
Any chio bus in the group or not? If not then tell them to fark off lahOriginally posted by redstone:I'm having a big problem
Last year when I was in first semester of poly year 1, I was quite close to a group of 3 other people. We met when we sat together in class. Just like any group of friends.
But came 2nd semester, where my school shifted furniture around and my table got separated from them. Mine was near the outside, theirs were inside. At first I thought nothing of it, thinking sitting outside would be better, as it is less crammed.
But, things turned unexpectedly. We still met for lunch, walked out of school together, but there was a period when my computer was spoilt (sent for repairs) and so I had to drop by the library after school to open my emails and stuff. So I'll say bye to them when we walk pass the library.
Slowly, I found more and more difficult to 'click' with them, and slowly slowly I found myself drifting away. Like for example, I'll initiate to join them for lunch, and we went to the toilet. When I came out, they are already walking away without waiting for me. Not one but a few times, as if I'm some kind of stranger. I'm no longer told some 'inner circle' stuff, or the 'gossip'. They discuss stuff among themselves. And I begun to feel outcasted.
During small group work, they'll group together and when I said I wanted to join, they'll say group is full (not fiercely) or "join others lah, too big group liao". As if I'm a stranger.
Finally came our 3 months vacation, which I chatted with some of them on MSN, and everything seemed 'normal'. But now that school had reopened, I'm facing the same problem. Same problem of being 'ignored' in conversations, cannot click anymore, and excluded from group. In this group some people came in, and 2 transferred out. I'm still the outcast. As if I'm someone they hardly know.
I'm closer to my next door class friends, whom I hardly meet during normal lesson time then my own classmates.
Could someone advise? I don't want to lose any friends. Feeling very sad now. -
same as my situation when i was in the yr 1 in ite. then i slowly seprated with them, cause we are in the different road. then i get into another group of ger which i get click on easily. while alot of them ask me if i argue with them is it, but no. i jus slowly didn talk to them liao, then jus leave quietly, leave each other a good impression, maybe next time i meet them again, we would still smile to each other. tat's wat i think.
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Same problem as mine.. Wad i do is just to ignore them and live my own life..
get closer with your next door neighbour and dont bother about ur classmates.
they'll come to you when they need help.
dont bother -
I hardly meet my next door friends. Their classroom is on 2nd floor, ours is on 1st floor. Maybe I'll just meet them over lunchOriginally posted by ifish:Same problem as mine.. Wad i do is just to ignore them and live my own life..
get closer with your next door neighbour and dont bother about ur classmates.
they'll come to you when they need help.
dont bother
Kinda depressing, like having no close friends in my class. -
I don't know why or what happened...Originally posted by kecang_puteh:Any chio bus in the group or not? If not then tell them to fark off lah Keep being rejected from the group during projects although the max number of members are not met. -
Dude, I feel for you. A lot of the bros here have given some very spirited advice.Originally posted by redstone:I don't know why or what happened... Keep being rejected from the group during projects although the max number of members are not met.
Not just in poly, anywhere u are, friends come and go. Don't take this whole thing too seriously. You sound like you are very much in need of a belonging and without it, you are miserable.
RELAX man! If the group does not treat you as part of the clique anymore, accept it and move on. If you are alone while everyone else has friends so be it. Don't give in to peer pressure when it contradicts your values!
Meanwhile, move around and merge into other cliques. Get active in your clubs! But don't look for friends just because you NEED them, that's a bad mentality.
Relationships are weird, when you look for love/friendship, the more you look for it, the more it eludes you. My 2 cents of worth of advice. -
Hey relaxs man!! its not that they are ignoring you or what but everyone has their right to choose their friend or mix with another group of friends. Dont worry so much and be yourself as per normal.
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Some people's personality will clash with mine.
And then there's my old group, I can't talk to them as closely as last time. It's starting to feel very cold... Like rejecting me from a group that is not full and stuff. Haiz....
What should I do now?
Try and talk to them, as if starting anew? -
Guess what happened? Lecturer told us to do another group project and I got outcasted yet again. They pulled in someone else.
Or will give excuse say group is full or "ask him, ask her, ask A" and stuff. So EVERY group project I'm facing problems and could affect my grades.... -
You get a grip yah. You come to this forum and ask for advice but it's all falling on deaf ears.Originally posted by redstone:Some people's personality will clash with mine.
And then there's my old group, I can't talk to them as closely as last time. It's starting to feel very cold... Like rejecting me from a group that is not full and stuff. Haiz....
What should I do now?
Try and talk to them, as if starting anew?
Until you can put it down and accept facts, you will always be miserable. Mark my words.