Terribly upset..
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Here's what happened(brief summary).
I met this girl during attachment and she would frequently talk to me through emails, etc. We soon exchanged hp numbers and we would sms each other alot.
She had bf problems, she said he was quite abusive and stuff and would confide in me. I asked her why she told me all this things, she said it was because she felt that she could trust me. I offered to help her. Once I went to accompany her when she left her bf house, but she couldn't take it and went back a day later. Anyway a few days later she found out that I liked her but she did not get angry, only asked me to find out more about her first because rushing into a relationship is not good, I agreed fully.
The next day she told me her bf broke up with her. I was happy of course. And over the weeks, we would hang out, I gradually fell in love with her, I asked whether she had feelings for me, she replied she saying "abit" but she needed to get over her ex bf stuff first. We would exchanged many smses, some mushy ones, she told me she felt lucky to be loved by me and was lucky to have me. But one day she became very cold towards me, she would not reply to most of my smses. I asked her about what was going on, she replied that she had family problems, I offered to help her but she said that her family only wanted her to be with people they trust. I accepted it. Still, I felt there was something wrong, I asked her about it, but she stuck to what she said, I decided not to bother her and let her deal with her own problems first.
A couple of weeks later, she said she had to go overseas for a month or two to settle some stuff. I wished her well and anxiously waited for her return.
Two weeks later, I was bored and decided to see if I could find her blog on a blogsite. I found it, and it was a blog that she started with another guy.
I was shocked, horrified, totally shattered. Apparently she did not break up with her bf after all and it was only after she got together wtih this guy(an old friend I think whom she didn't contact for a long time I think) only then did she went to settle things with her bf. When she got together with this guy, it was around the same time she started becoming cold towards me. Oh ya, apparently she went overseas for two days only.I was taken for a fool for a whole month not knowing what was going on. In fact I was fooled from the very start because she did not actually break up with her bf, either that or she went back to him without telling me. I confronted her about this through sms, she told me it was a decision made by her parents and a relative. Her mother did not approve of her becoming close to me and her mother loved the new guy.
Now thinking back about what she said. It really meant nothing at all. Words with no substance. She took me for a total fucking fool, made use of my good will. I was just a spare tyre after all. Gave me half truths when I asked her for an explanation, pushing blame to her parents. Now I find it hard to even believe whatever she said about her bf. I'm taking this as a valuable lesson not to trust people so easily, especially people who come up to me with problems. I have finally seen the duality of people's personality.... Sickening people, pretentious, double headed snakes. -
is not double headed snakes.
she just dunwan to hurt ur feelings saying she dunlike u.
if is other way round u dare to say meh?
hu ask u to pester her when she jus brokeup ah? -
take what had happen to you and repeat the whole cycles a few more times and you will be numb. Whats the point of being angry? she nv cheat your money and only your time.Originally posted by UsedKill:Here's what happened(brief summary).
I met this girl during attachment and she would frequently talk to me through emails, etc. We soon exchanged hp numbers and we would sms each other alot.
She had bf problems, she said he was quite abusive and stuff and would confide in me. I asked her why she told me all this things, she said it was because she felt that she could trust me. I offered to help her. Once I went to accompany her when she left her bf house, but she couldn't take it and went back a day later. Anyway a few days later she found out that I liked her but she did not get angry, only asked me to find out more about her first because rushing into a relationship is not good, I agreed fully.
The next day she told me her bf broke up with her. I was happy of course. And over the weeks, we would hang out, I gradually fell in love with her, I asked whether she had feelings for me, she replied she saying "abit" but she needed to get over her ex bf stuff first. We would exchanged many smses, some mushy ones, she told me she felt lucky to be loved by me and was lucky to have me. But one day she became very cold towards me, she would not reply to most of my smses. I asked her about what was going on, she replied that she had family problems, I offered to help her but she said that her family only wanted her to be with people they trust. I accepted it. Still, I felt there was something wrong, I asked her about it, but she stuck to what she said, I decided not to bother her and let her deal with her own problems first.
A couple of weeks later, she said she had to go overseas for a month or two to settle some stuff. I wished her well and anxiously waited for her return.
Two weeks later, I was bored and decided to see if I could find her blog on a blogsite. I found it, and it was a blog that she started with another guy.
I was shocked, horrified, totally shattered. Apparently she did not break up with her bf after all and it was only after she got together wtih this guy(an old friend I think whom she didn't contact for a long time I think) only then did she went to settle things with her bf. When she got together with this guy, it was around the same time she started becoming cold towards me. Oh ya, apparently she went overseas for two days only.I was taken for a fool for a whole month not knowing what was going on. In fact I was fooled from the very start because she did not actually break up with her bf, either that or she went back to him without telling me. I confronted her about this through sms, she told me it was a decision made by her parents and a relative. Her mother did not approve of her becoming close to me and her mother loved the new guy.
Now thinking back about what she said. It really meant nothing at all. Words with no substance. She took me for a total fucking fool, made use of my good will. I was just a spare tyre after all. Gave me half truths when I asked her for an explanation, pushing blame to her parents. Now I find it hard to even believe whatever she said about her bf. I'm taking this as a valuable lesson not to trust people so easily, especially people who come up to me with problems. I have finally seen the duality of people's personality.... Sickening people, pretentious, double headed snakes. -
I admit I am a little bitter that she went with another guy. But that's not the point, its how she handled it. If she had told me straight it would be ALOT better for me. I wouldn't have to waste one month thinking what was going on and pinning for her. And I did not pester her to be my gf when she apparently "broke up" which I now I'm not sure that even happened.
The thing is she lied to me/ gave me half truths, one minute so nice to me, the next min decided to throw me away like a used towel..
I told her to take her time. I wasn't in a rush.
And yes, I admit I was gullible and naive, thinking that she really liked me. It was partially my own fault for falling too deeply in love with her. -
Yes, I'm learning to forgive her and am already trying to let go of the bitterness and pain and move on and just remember the things that I learnt.
But I sure as hell wouldn't want to meet this sort of person ever again or go through this sort of horrid experience -
hmmm.... nv cheat money considered heng lah... but wasted something important whcih is your time... and most importatntly, your feelings bah!Originally posted by zeny:take what had happen to you and repeat the whole cycles a few more times and you will be numb. Whats the point of being angry? she nv cheat your money and only your time.
i think throughout the whole time you were quite kept in the dark what happened... and might be considered unfair that she did not tell you the truth... but just take this as a lesson learnt bah, on the bright side. At least now you know this kinda of pple exsist. But i hope you wun lose confidence in loving pple, coz i believe there is still that someone who deserve your true love oneday.
Take care
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learn n move on. Well i guess such things do happen.
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Thanks. I want to make it clear that I would respect her decision fully(though of course I would be sad for a while) if she told me she loves the other guy and wants to be with him. She had no obligation to be with me since I wasn't even her bf. But it was all the lies that she fabricated that made me so shattered. My image of her is totally ruined. I want nothing to do with her anymore
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True true. To me, feelings and time is much more important than money . Money lost can still be earned back. However, time lost can never be retrieved .Originally posted by Advent_Surge:hmmm.... nv cheat money considered heng lah... but wasted something important whcih is your time... and most importantly, your feelings bah!
Btw, TS, u mentioned about her parents objecting you of being their daughter's BF and the mother prefers and likes the other guy. Is that true? If thats true, that experience will be very painful for most guys, including TS and me.
I've seen before this show, where this particular guy is diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome . His GF doesn't even bother about his condition. She just love him whole heartedly . However, it is simply because of the parents objection of their daughter dating a "sick" guy that led to the breakup of this loving couple. Its a rather great blow to him. Its a true story .
Parents objection will always be the most painful situation known to loving couples.
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very familiar story wor.
are you my fren? -
No, I do not have many friends, much less friends who know about this
I have not even met her mother or her family for that matter before. I only knew her for a like few months. -
sad wor..Originally posted by UsedKill:No, I do not have many friends, much less friends who know about this
I have not even met her mother or her family for that matter before. I only knew her for a like few months.
coz u are not the only one with such a mishap. -
don't let one black rose dirty the field of beautiful red roses. stay strong mate.
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you're dat girl ah?Originally posted by browniebaobao:very familiar story wor.
are you my fren? -
Guys,
Please get this straight and clear.
Just because a girl pour her heart out to you doesn't mean she is interested in you ok ??
So please, spare yourself some heartache. The chances of you getting that girl is just as good as the other guys she knows.
I know most guys in such situation thinks they are the Knight in Shining armor.
The protector of the weak, and therefore have access to priviledges other guys do not get. 10% true.
But unfortunately, girls typically won't show their true knight in shining armor how psychotic she really is with her rantings of her ex or watnot. -
Good advice. Quote for future reference. Thank you.Originally posted by jojobeach:Guys,
Please get this straight and clear.
Just because a girl pour her heart out to you doesn't mean she is interested in you ok ??
So please, spare yourself some heartache. The chances of you getting that girl is just as good as the other guys she knows.
I know most guys in such situation thinks they are the Knight in Shining armor.
The protector of the weak, and therefore have access to priviledges other guys do not get. 10% true.
But unfortunately, girls typically won't show their true knight in shining armor how psychotic she really is with her rantings of her ex or watnot.
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yeah, a temporary pillar of support is needed.Originally posted by jojobeach:Guys,
Please get this straight and clear.
Just because a girl pour her heart out to you doesn't mean she is interested in you ok ??
So please, spare yourself some heartache. The chances of you getting that girl is just as good as the other guys she knows.
I know most guys in such situation thinks they are the Knight in Shining armor.
The protector of the weak, and therefore have access to priviledges other guys do not get. 10% true.
But unfortunately, girls typically won't show their true knight in shining armor how psychotic she really is with her rantings of her ex or watnot. -
I find that when a guy tell a gal his feeling for her, she will take it seriously, later on she found out that she dislike this guy she don't dare to tell him. So it create a misunderstanding. Yes, it is very difficult to reject someone, but to avoid misunderstanding the gal should make it clear to the guy. And for a guy, he must be observant enuff and sense the gal intention. It's not about trust, a gal know wat she is looking for in a guy and if she realise that guy is not suitable she just back off.
As a guy, you must be brave enuff to take this as a learning process to understand wat gals want. If you don't trust them, forever you wont know wat they want. Gals do really very considerate about guys feeling, but it's just not brave enuff to say it out, afraid to hurt or lose him. As a guy, try to understand why lady do thing which guy don't understand, it's becos we come from different planet. -
tats the problem u will get when u trying to hook a gal already got bf... learn from it and go for reali single gals...
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that's cheating on you i suppose. there's really lots of such frucktard pple ard so might as well forget her and pray that there isn't another guy who will get cheated by her in similar way.
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well, at least i would be glad for her if i were u
and nope, i dunoe y i said that
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i wun go two-time.Originally posted by gigabyte14:you're dat girl ah?
i hate ple who do that, no respect for love. -
girls...
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Edit: Post available for MY detailed ranting after I cooled down.
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Note, I did not try to go for her when she had a bf. She told me her bf had already broken up with her. I did not know why she lied to me about that.
In fact, while I confessed my feelings for her(or rather she found out through one of my sms to my friends), we went out merely as friends, I did not pressure her or anything. We really liked each other at that point(which now I know was actually a one sided thing). Yeah, some mushy sms were exchanged as you have seen in one of my previous post. So how could I be at fault for thinking I was being lead on and that she was developing feelings for me?
Believe, if she didn't find out, I wouldn't have fessed up so soon. The last thing I wanna do is spoil a friendship. Heck, we only knew each other for like a couple of months, I definitely didn't want to rush things.
I do admit it was partially my fault for being so foolish and gullible. Gotta watch out next time.