How to advise my friend? Please advise
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Recently noticed my young friend displaying strange behaviour these few days (Eg. Not happy, not really eating well), and asked him what the problem was. He said it was nothing.
As he's going to NS soon I thought NS was the problem. Todayover dinner he finally told me he was afraid of the opposite gender. Afraid as in don't know how to interact with them, feels shy around them. I believe this is troubling him alot.
He asked me for advice. I don't know how to give, because I am a basically a loner, never had a girlfriend.
If anyone has any advice to give him, or can tell me what to tell him, please tell me here, I want to try and help him.
Please do not turn this into a "+1" thread. I thought many times before finally deciding to post in in this forum. -
whats afraid of the opposite gender?
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for a start, u can ask him to join sgforums and participate in the discussions
and join the outings (so he can meet guys and girls)
and the rest is up to him -
How would I knowOriginally posted by R3SsH|n:whats afraid of the opposite gender?
Come to think of it he doesn't even talk to girls unless it's really necessary -
Where is the outings?Originally posted by FireIce:for a start, u can ask him to join sgforums and participate in the discussions
and join the outings (so he can meet guys and girls)
and the rest is up to him
Aiyoh... if people like stooky, forum_dude, pervertboi turn up and disturb him I think he will kill me.
anyway I think his problem is more of a "face to face" problem. He is not worried about using MSN, SMS, forums etc.. he is more afraid of face to face encounter... like he doesn't know what to say to the girls when he actually sees them in person.
Over the internet/sms I guess he has time to compose his mind and compose his messages.
Did anyone have this problem during their teenage years? -
dun worry, these ppl dun dare to turn up for outings oneOriginally posted by chanjyj:Where is the outings?
Aiyoh... if people like stooky, forum_dude, pervertboi turn up and disturb him I think he will kill me. -
eh.. how abt intro her to those active gals.. who will initate talk 1st.. so he has no choice but to continue the conversation... hopeful after that.. he wil be overcome his fear
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if he faces an active and outspoken girl, i think he may be intimidatedOriginally posted by mystee:eh.. how abt intro her to those active gals.. who will initate talk 1st.. so he has no choice but to continue the conversation... hopeful after that.. he wil be overcome his fear
eerr.....will he even dare to date the girl in the 1st place?
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both of you are boys school right?
mystee can help u! -
Originally posted by chanjyj:
What you need to do is to prep his mentality first.
Recently noticed my young friend displaying strange behaviour these few days (Eg. Not happy, not really eating well), and asked him what the problem was. He said it was nothing.
As he's going to NS soon I thought NS was the problem. Todayover dinner he finally told me he was afraid of the opposite gender. Afraid as in don't know how to interact with them, feels shy around them. I believe this is troubling him alot.
He asked me for advice. I don't know how to give, because I am a basically a loner, never had a girlfriend.
If anyone has any advice to give him, or can tell me what to tell him, please tell me here, I want to try and help him.
[b]Please do not turn this into a "+1" thread. I thought many times before finally deciding to post in in this forum.[/b]
Most guys are afraid of the opposite gender is because they are afraid of REJECTION.
If he can condition his mind to accept rejection as part and parcel of courtship, then he is pretty much ready to face the "intimidating" girls.
Also, he may have low self confidence perhaps he didn't think of himself as a very great guy so he is afraid nobody wants him.
What he is good at ? example his hobby or other kind of activities he enjoy doing. You can start working on those ideas first. -
I doubt so.Originally posted by FireIce:if he faces an active and outspoken girl, i think he may be intimidated
eerr.....will he even dare to date the girl in the 1st place? 
That's why I think he's so troubled. In the first place, if he dare not talk to the girl (and he has much difficulty doing so except for "official" reasons), dating the girl is out of the question.
I can't really blame him that girls don't flock to him.. He's not your handsome handsome guy, just an ordinary guy... albeit with some eccentric behaviour for a teen, like the music he listens too (eg. 1960, 1970s music) -
That's fine if I am his age... The problem is I am much older than him (more like an older cousin to him)... I finish my NS long time ago!Originally posted by mystee:eh.. how abt intro her to those active gals.. who will initate talk 1st.. so he has no choice but to continue the conversation... hopeful after that.. he wil be overcome his fear
(Not to mention I am a loner who don't go out often ) -
Originally posted by gigabyte14:both of you are boys school right?
mystee can help u! 
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you are correct except we are diff age... BIG age gapOriginally posted by gigabyte14:both of you are boys school right?
mystee can help u!
Mystee is who? Secondary school girl ah
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is ME lar..Originally posted by chanjyj:you are correct except we are diff age... BIG age gap
Mystee is who? Secondary school girl ah -
Actually me is a loner too. No girlfriend.
Haiz..
/Pat pat chanjyj and your friend
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methinks mystee is auntie ageOriginally posted by chanjyj:you are correct except we are diff age... BIG age gap
Mystee is who? Secondary school girl ah -
i think both of u need to widen your social circle... go to outing together... accompanying him.. find a chance to let him talk to gals, with u around.. then when u feel time is right, then jz disappear for a while...Originally posted by chanjyj:That's fine if I am his age... The problem is I am much older than him (more like an older cousin to him)... I finish my NS long time ago!
(Not to mention I am a loner who don't go out often ) -
wow.. i very sad leh..Originally posted by gigabyte14:methinks mystee is auntie age but i m definately way older than u.. if u are born in 1988... u can called me sister if u want.. but no AUNTIE pls.. thank you! -
*Shake hand*Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:Actually me is a loner too. No girlfriend.
Haiz..
/Pat pat chanjyj and your friend
Guess all hackers are alike
but now I turn away from the "dark" side go to the "bright" side liao -
ur year?Originally posted by mystee:wow.. i very sad leh.. but i m definately way older than u.. if u are born in 1988... u can called me sister if u want.. but no AUNTIE pls.. thank you!
i kpo -
Walao eh! I want to smash my laptop on the wall already...Originally posted by mystee:i think both of u need to widen your social circle... go to outing together... accompanying him.. find a chance to let him talk to gals, with u around.. then when u feel time is right, then jz disappear for a while...
How many farking times must I say I am loner and don't go out! ÂèÂèÒ¯
Methinks if I introduce him to girl me will go mad myself....
Methinks if I manage to find a chance to let him talk to girls with me around it is a miracle....
Oops. Sorry. Too fustrated just now. Anyone got advice for him that don't include me inside? -
woman's age are secret.. dun u know? little boy...Originally posted by gigabyte14:ur year?
i kpo 
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loner has bad temper ya?Originally posted by chanjyj:Walao eh! I want to smash my laptop on the wall already...
How many farking times must I say I am loner and don't go out! ÂèÂèÒ¯
Methinks if I introduce him to girl me will go mad myself....
Methinks if I manage to find a chance to let him talk to girls with me around it is a miracle.... Oops. Sorry. Too fustrated just now. Anyone got advice for him that don't include me inside?
anyway.. i say u join him becos i feel u shld oso widen ur social circle.. if u dont wish to widen, then u can probably ask someone else to do the same? cos i feel that someone need to accompany him to make him move out of his shell... -
Me is a cool-headed loner.Originally posted by mystee:loner has bad temper ya?
anyway.. i say u join him becos i feel u shld oso widen ur social circle.. if u dont wish to widen, then u can probably ask someone else to do the same? cos i feel that someone need to accompany him to make him move out of his shell...