my agony
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A few months back i have been diagnosed with a tumour in my brain, i have tried treatment overseas in several countries but the prognosis is the same , i might not have long to live.
You see the tumor was caused by an injury a long time ago.And its something that might be induced by trauma.
My main agony is i have a woman that i love but should i
a) tell her and suffer together and let her see me die slowly and give her a painful memory
b)just go away, disappear from her life and make her hate me by lying to her that i have a new love, so she can start her life all over again with another man and now waste anytime with me.
The problem is i dont know when im am going to die, maybe 3 months maybe 6 or maybe 1 year or maybe longer.Hence i think its not fair to give this pain of suffering for my loved ones.
I seen the pain of family of loved one enduring the pain and suffering of somebody withering away. Whilst i cannot spare my immediate family at least i can spare her.
i really want to live but my time is running out, i should let her live. -
she will be sadder if one day she found out that u have left this world bcos of ur illness and kept her in the dark, depriving her of the chance to walk down the rest of ur life journey with u.
not many ple can do like wat Andy lau did in the movie . -
pls tell her..... -
You give her the rights not to know or she doesn't has the right to know?
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You should tell your family, girlfriend and friends. Face the problem optismistically.
You must believe in miracle, and miracles DO happened! Do not drop even a single tears, it show that you don't believe in miracless.
Take care bro. Do what you like to do. Maybe you can try going for a world-tour to see the world.
/pat pat -
option B.
she can learn to love and live again with someone else. -
Tell her... don't die in regrets...
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i won't have the heart to tell her...
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Tell her. At least she know.
If you went away off to a far away place without tellng her, she'll blame herself for not knowing. And in that case, you brought nothing but pain to her.
If she love you (even as a friend), she'll support you.
Think on the brighter side, even though its a headache. -
I think i would tell her if i were you. Cherish the last moments together. Leave without guilt, without regret.
I will pray for you. -
Originally posted by myheadaches:A few months back i have been diagnosed with a tumour in my brain, i have tried treatment overseas in several countries but the prognosis is the same , i might not have long to live.
You see the tumor was caused by an injury a long time ago.And its something that might be induced by trauma.
My main agony is i have a woman that i love but should i
a) tell her and suffer together and let her see me die slowly and give her a painful memory
b)just go away, disappear from her life and make her hate me by lying to her that i have a new love, so she can start her life all over again with another man and now waste anytime with me.
The problem is i dont know when im am going to die, maybe 3 months maybe 6 or maybe 1 year or maybe longer.Hence i think its not fair to give this pain of suffering for my loved ones.
I seen the pain of family of loved one enduring the pain and suffering of somebody withering away. Whilst i cannot spare my immediate family at least i can spare her.
i really want to live but my time is running out, i should let her live.
The moment when you knew your days were numbered - your mind is still thinking about her. Brandishing such deep affections, why do want to bereave yourself and her from revelling in those final, precious moments together? By being an escapist, you not only resign to your fate of an impending doom, but also, you have subconsciously planted a seed of guilt into her life.
Do you seriously think that by accepting option II, you could free her from this relationship easily to another love? In fact, when she realised the REAL reason why you ditch the relationship, the truth would probably torment her for the rest of her life and how do you think it would affect her future relationship?
Selfish I say!
You are NOT dying unless you gave yourself up! At this current stage in life, who cares about what the doctors say?
Does Doctors = God? They can forecast your remaining life, but do they have the final say?
There are people who survived through health crisis, despite certified death cases, or even having longer life expectancy simply because of sheer willpower. You don't have to be delusional about your situation; accept the reality that your body is weak and may cease to function, but as long as you still breathe the air around you and have all your senses working, you earn another day to create values and meaning to those around you.
So what if you have brain tumour - does that make you demented and lose the ability to love?
If her presence in your life is so important, then you must fight to earn everyday of your life for your stay on Earth. Everyday lived is everyday gained.
You have absolutely nothing to lose my friend.
Every man will die, but not every man truly lived; you will be in my prayers.
Cheers -
Thats what i thought of as she is not short of man chasing after her and she has options, isnt this is better way , she hates me as the man who left her rather than she sitting by my side agonising together with me day after day.Originally posted by LyonK:option B.
she can learn to love and live again with someone else.
I rather suffer alone and for her , short pain is better than an enduring pain.If you have to see someone you love dying slowly you will understand what i say,makes you feel like you can die on their behalf instead. -
Miracle? I already did my best, i went overseas and tried all options but there is only one conclusion from everybody.In the end i want her to be happy but maybe i should give her a letter a few years after i died and after she is happily married and tell her the truth?Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:You should tell your family, girlfriend and friends. Face the problem optismistically.
You must believe in miracle, and miracles DO happened! Do not drop even a single tears, it show that you don't believe in miracless.
Take care bro. Do what you like to do. Maybe you can try going for a world-tour to see the world.
/pat pat -
You won't be able to keep it from her forever.
In some way, by being told or by finding out herself, once she discovers the true reason you left her back then, the blow will be very much greater.
The truth may hurt, but it hurts even more to find out only when it's too late.
You may think you're doing her a favor by leaving this world without hurting her with the truth... but that's only what you think. -
I despise you for you are selfish.
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If you've chose to abandon her, and seek a lonely termination, why bother telling her the truth? This is real life, not a melancholy love story.Originally posted by myheadaches:Miracle? I already did my best, i went overseas and tried all options but there is only one conclusion from everybody.In the end i want her to be happy but maybe i should give her a letter a few years after i died and after she is happily married and tell her the truth?
If you've chose the second option, then please, let the truth die, when you do.
But ask yourself, is this what she got in return for loving you? Having to suffer a heartbreak, and being in the dark, not knowing the truth of your departure? Do you think she would be happier this way? Or do you think she would be happier, to love and accompany you till the lasts of your breath?
Make your choice. -
National Geographic Channel once featured someone who have special power. He can cure all sickness and diseases.Originally posted by myheadaches:Miracle? I already did my best, i went overseas and tried all options but there is only one conclusion from everybody.In the end i want her to be happy but maybe i should give her a letter a few years after i died and after she is happily married and tell her the truth?
Maybe you can try searching National Geograpic Channel for the documentary show. I couldn't remember the name. -
You posting here meant you have chosen option B but are having second thoughts about it.Originally posted by myheadaches:Thats what i thought of as she is not short of man chasing after her and she has options, isnt this is better way , she hates me as the man who left her rather than she sitting by my side agonising together with me day after day.
I rather suffer alone and for her , short pain is better than an enduring pain.If you have to see someone you love dying slowly you will understand what i say,makes you feel like you can die on their behalf instead. -
Personally, I wouldn't expound on the possibilities of a miracle happening - it is a impossible sum to calculate.
Knowing your days might be numbered, you should live each passing day to the fullest.
There's a trick to deal with negative emotions - is that the amount of energy and work it takes to feel miserable and the amount of energy and work it takes to make yourself strong or feel better... is the same...
The thing is that we never work at feeling better, but we allow freely our minds to work ourselves into the miserabl pit in which we wallow. Just remember, TS... Your problem is never the problem.. your reaction to your problem is the problem...
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You are right, im confused but in the past i did try to indicate to her but she seems not to be able to handle it well with a what if scenario. That helped me to make up my mind of my plans of action.Originally posted by LyonK:You posting here meant you have chosen option B but are having second thoughts about it. -
Make yourself clearer? What do you mean by a what if scenario?Originally posted by myheadaches:You are right, im confused but in the past i did try to indicate to her but she seems not to be able to handle it well with a what if scenario. That helped me to make up my mind of my plans of action.
When faced with a possibility and an actual fact, I think people may react differently.
Put it this way: If someone asked you "What if you strike lottery tomorrow?" Your response would probably be a half-hearted reply indicating what you would spend the money on. But if you really struck lottery and is now contemplating what to do with the money, you'll really sit down and think what's the best way to deal with your windfall instead of really going out to get that sports car or piece of property.
That's just what I feel. -
Hi there,Originally posted by myheadaches:Miracle? I already did my best, i went overseas and tried all options but there is only one conclusion from everybody.In the end i want her to be happy but maybe i should give her a letter a few years after i died and after she is happily married and tell her the truth?
Sorry to say this but you are really selfish to keep it from her...
Do you think she'll be happier when she learnt about all these after you've past on? If you really love her, dont deprive her the chance to be with you and give you all her love and support.
And you planned to give up about your life already? Seek other kind of help... Dont ever give up before a fight... I understand that TCM / Qigong, etc does helped in curing some illness... Can pm me if u need the contact.
We are only here to advise you but kindly consider all our advises and select the best solution to your problem.
Do take care. -
does ppl who choose option B consider selfish? cos i'm the type that will choose option B. i dun like to drag other people down to suffer together with me.
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please do tell her !!!
you should give her the chance to make a choice .
and not make the choice for her .
i watched the movie Happy Birthday .
and i was so so sad when the male lead actually broke off with the female lead and lied to her that he had a new love , just because he had cancer .
just imagine . if it was your gf (touchwood) who had cancer .
and she did the same thing to you . how would you have felt ???
so please do tell her . -
Sorry to hear that you have a few months to live.Originally posted by myheadaches:A few months back i have been diagnosed with a tumour in my brain, i have tried treatment overseas in several countries but the prognosis is the same , i might not have long to live.
You see the tumor was caused by an injury a long time ago.And its something that might be induced by trauma.
My main agony is i have a woman that i love but should i
a) tell her and suffer together and let her see me die slowly and give her a painful memory
b)just go away, disappear from her life and make her hate me by lying to her that i have a new love, so she can start her life all over again with another man and now waste anytime with me.
The problem is i dont know when im am going to die, maybe 3 months maybe 6 or maybe 1 year or maybe longer.Hence i think its not fair to give this pain of suffering for my loved ones.
I seen the pain of family of loved one enduring the pain and suffering of somebody withering away. Whilst i cannot spare my immediate family at least i can spare her.
i really want to live but my time is running out, i should let her live.
Take care and hope that you have enjoyed a wonder life.
To answer your question, first answer mine.
Imagine you have no illness and you living happily with the girl you love. Suddenly she went away and disappear from your life. You try to find her but you just could not. You wept everyday wondering what you have done wrong. Five years later after all the pain and suffering, you meet her parents only to find out that she died from an illness and do not want her to suffer.
Do you really think that option B is the best option now?
P.S the story above is a true story thats why my advice is a)
Is better to let her know and let her decide. Cos even when you died is a closure for her instead of waiting in vain and in pain.
Is your life, so you got to chose.