Seriously duno wads wrong.. stupid r/s...
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TOTO can anot? 6.23miil leh.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:wow tonight can still buy 4d or not?
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erm only 1st time leh.......can be more forgiving anotOriginally posted by clueless007:well it's the first time she treated me like this... she's sad ytd and today i'm juz trying to find out how she is but it seems that she's enjoying herself in sch and purposely dun wanna reply my smses and pick up my call.. i cant help but wonder y... and when i asked her, she said she was being selfish... wad does that mean??? i asked her she said i duno... wad an answer.. the worst case scenario is there's 3rd pt involved... sigh, kinda sux when ur gf is so popular with guys..
another thing, please be more understanding also 
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you will be equally selfish if you want her to celebrate your birthday instead of study for her exams.Originally posted by clueless007:sigh... yet another heartache... now i realised tt promises are meant to be broken over and over again... promised to celebrate my bday, she didnt, promised to celebrate the following week, she didnt, promised to celebrate tml, she asked me to change date again cos it's her mid yr paper nx monday.. the rest of the papers are after holidays... sigh... i complained to her once, saying tt asking her to go a particular place is exceptionally difficult cos she keeps on pushing it and she will tell me "there u go again",
she'll always be selfish... i dun matter to her in the past, now and nv will be in the future.... i seriously wonder y she agrees to be with me in the first place... wad is love? or is she juz trying to enjoy the feeling of being loved but dun want to give out her love... tt's so selfish...
time and time again... sigh... she rly likes to hurt me.... and worst thing is i cant say to her, if i do complain, she'll emo again, sigh.... i seriously wonder what am i holding to, heart damn pain now...
I don't know how much of what she said (parents disapproving the relationship) is true.
I believe it's a combination of pressure from her parents, the exams and most importantly YOU.
All this while she's crying for you to give her some space. It seems to me you are doing the opposite.
Sometimes it's better to leave her alone for a while and let her sort out her own problems. -
i guess you shouldn't be too persistant at times? Give your gf and yourself some space to at least think about it...
Right now...both of you are going head-on....and it won't do you both any good... -
hey dun juz say that...she may not reali mean what she says...as u can see she is under alot of stress...shes goin thru a difficult period now...try to understand that n give in to her...u seem to haf a bad temper as well as once she said those words u seem like u exploded immediately...if u reali care for her, stand by her n help her thru this...its not that she doesnt care abt u, its juz shes v stressed with her own problems that she cant tell u everything at the same time...give her some space k?my gf is like that oso...but in the end i knw she still cares for me n love me so=) i hope u 2 will b ok tgt tooOriginally posted by clueless007:can some1 help? feeling so confused... dun think my gf luvs me anymore...
ytd, when we met, she was so stressed, afraid tt her parents will find out abt us n this is the first time she cried.
today, smsed her 4 times and called her, but she nv replied my smses and pick up my call.. i juz wanna noe how is she today.. is she feeling better.. from the first sms in the morning to the 4th in the evening, she didnt reply.. i was so worried... until 8 plus she replied.. she juz reached home after watching soccer match in school, i asked her how is she.. she said ok, then i asked her why didnt she reply me... she said she was being selfish.. i mean wth??? wad kind of answer is tt?? think she dun rly give a shi+ abt me... to think tt i'm worried over her, didnt even tell me she's going home late... nv told me anything until i told her i was worried sick.. wad is wrong??? talked to her, asked her y she didnt reply me, she said she also duno y.. i mean how selfish n self centered one can get?? i seriously wonder y she wanna treat me this way.. i dun understand... wad is wrong with some pple... how can i actually dun give FARKING SHIT abt ur other half...
love comes and go.. think it's time i let it go... -
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its hard la...the thing is, do u still love her?does she still love u?u got to ask urself that...empty promises...its very disappointing i understand...try to talk to her abt it...but u might haf to b prepared if she was in a bad mood...may haf adverse effects like she might nvr try to promise u anything after that n say coz she dun wan to end up empty promises again...whats the reason for her parents' objection?n btw how old r u?Originally posted by clueless007:i noe studies more impt... tts y i nv complain to her this time.. but the prob is that she agreed to it at first, then change her mind, agree then change mind, agree then change mind again... empty promises... it's not some any other weekends but it's celebrating her and my belated bday and our anniversary.. i mean this kind of occasion any1 will also want their loved ones to be with them... i juz hope tt after her paper on monday, she'll make it up and not give empty promises again...
as to her pressure given by her parents, we didnt go out alone for almost 1 mth le... the only way to c her is i went to find her after my work on 2 weekday when she finishes sch later.. if not she wun go out with me on weekends... and once my sch starts, the only time i can see her is on weekends... sigh... i juz wana go out with her and celebrate this special occasion but ............ -
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In my opinion, celebrating 100 days together is silly and a waste of time.Originally posted by clueless007:she still young, parents will only allow after she finishes jc which is nx yr lor.. so LLST.... i'll try and accomodate de... but i think both parties have to put in effort de mah, it takes 2 hands to clap after all... juz try bah, i cant promise how long i cant last but for now, i noe i will give in my best... btw, i going uni this yr...
This might be her opinion as well.
My point is, not everybody can be in tuned with your level of sensitivity.
If you want something long term with her, don't expect her to mould into someone else.
If she does so on her own accord, take that as a bonus.
I also understand that the two of you have not been together for too long. Naturally, you will feel insecured due to the limited time you can spend with her. It's a case of bad timing.
But I will still advise you the same thing. If you keep pressing her, she will only run away.
At least leave her alone and wait for her to contact you for the time being, at least until the exams are over.
If after her exams,
She still seems to be busy,
Keeps giving excuses to cancel dates
Doesn't seem to be able to find any time for you.
Maybe it's time for you to re-evaluate your relationship with her. -
ok, it makes sense.. ya, i shld be less gan chiong ba... i'm too impatient le i admit... need to take things slower... anw, things are resolved for now le...
thx every1, bb for now... -
Now that you have calmed down...Originally posted by clueless007:"i juz dun feel right abt us, my love for u cant even ovecome the fear i have of my mum discovering us"
wad does she mean??? sigh....
Here's a bit of bad news for you.
Read what she said above.
I believe the pressure from her parents is real.
But she knows that pressure is not enough to hinder the relationship...that is, if she really want to be with you.
She is looking for something significant, something so special that she will not mind making a bit of sacrifice to pursue the relationship.
But her relationship with you has not given her that feeling.
That's what she meant when she said she is selfish.
She couldn't make the sacrifice because what the two of you have right now, is not significant enough.
She is having second thoughts about the relationship.
Not because of the pressure.
But due to what she came to realise from the pressure.
I just want you to be mentally prepared.
Leave her alone so that she can focus on her exams, let her sort out her thoughts and where you stand.
After the exams, the ball is in her hands.
You should think about what attracted her to you in the first place and try to rekindle that.
Take care. -
She's flirting with you - playing your emotions. Some girls just enjoy doin' that.
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Originally posted by curiousOrange:
agreed totally. dats wad happens when u n her's age gap are rather wide (in my opinion.)
Now that you have calmed down...
Here's a bit of bad news for you.
Read what she said above.
I believe the pressure from her parents is real.
[b]But she knows that pressure is not enough to hinder the relationship...that is, if she really want to be with you.
She is looking for something significant, something so special that she will not mind making a bit of sacrifice to pursue the relationship.
But her relationship with you has not given her that feeling.
That's what she meant when she said she is selfish.
She couldn't make the sacrifice because what the two of you have right now, is not significant enough.
She is having second thoughts about the relationship.
Not because of the pressure.
But due to what she came to realise from the pressure.
I just want you to be mentally prepared.
Leave her alone so that she can focus on her exams, let her sort out her thoughts and where you stand.
After the exams, the ball is in her hands.
You should think about what attracted her to you in the first place and try to rekindle that.
Take care.[/b]
17 years old, well, is she studying in a junior college or polytechnic or sec sch? if she is studying in sec sch or JC, it might probably be the crucial part of her life (A level, O level). u could leave her alone to study for her exams, while u can send sms to her to just encourage her.
hmm, her parents doesnt noe abt u two? probably her parents are strict with respect to having a relationship at her age. true, for some parents, they think that 16 or 17 years old is mature enough to have a bf or gf, but not every parents will think this way. give her sometime and some space. she might be pressured and do not know how to tackle it.
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is this reply of yours copied and pasted? don't think your english has improved by leaps and bounds.Originally posted by popikachu:since you think it's time to let go, why not? you still got a long way ahead dude!
but still think over it carefully and one thing to remember, dont regret whatever path you choose ultimately... choose wisely, it's your choice!
anyway. to ts, girls are like that. why don't you ignore her and see if she comes back falling at your feet again, talking to you and all? Hmmmm.. -
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There are three stages in a meaningful and lasting relationship.Originally posted by clueless007:i noe wad u mean, i came to realise that long time ago, from the little actions and how she treats me, i cant really feel tt she loves me.. but i duno y she agreed to be my gf in the first place.. maybe she wants to enjoy the feeling of being loved, but dun think she rly has "real " feelings for me as all along, she's been so "off", so not enthusiastic.. i duno how to put it across... even though giving up so fast is not smth i will do but i do noe when to stop...
Stage 1: Mutual attraction and infatuation
The attention and mushiness of the other person makes us feel great about ourselves.
We are blinded by our emotions.
This is a stage whereby everything revolves around how the other person makes you feel.
This is not a mature form of love and is built on a weak foundation; a co-dependence on each other to fill up the emotional void we all feel from time to time.
Stage 2: Comfort zone
As we progress further into the relationship, the infatuation lessens and we move on to something real.
There is a reduced feeling of being “in love”.
If the relationship is to progress any further, there must be mutual respect and admiration.
Not an admiration for their contribution to you. But the contribution to themselves.
The understanding of their strength and weakness and all their faults led to the admiration of the person as a whole.
Many people will bail out from the comfort zone.
The smart ones leave their emotions aside and bail when they realize that there are far more faults than good points in the other partyÂ’s character.
The immature ones leave the relationship because they make the mistake of thinking the relationship is in trouble because they are no longer feeling the infatuation.
The third stage is a form of mature love. Not entirely relevant to your case.
You are still in Stage 1.
A stage whereby you are easily blinded by your emotions and how the other party makes you feel. You depend heavily on her to fill up the emotional void you are feeling.
Your girlfriend is in Stage 2 and is considering whether she should bail.
Recent circumstances (pressure from parents) have made her realized that leaving the infatuation aside, there seems to be nothing worth pursuing in the relationship.
Is she right in her assessment?
You need to progress to the second stage to find the answer.
Learn how to throw your infatuation aside and start assessing what is real.
Assess her.
What are the good points about her?
What are her faults? If you are going to spend a long time with this person, will you be able to accept these faults?
Throw your infatuation aside and assess her as a whole and figure out whether she is someone that you truly respect and admire.
Assess yourself.
Has your own life come to a standstill after meeting her?
Is there anything else that she can respect and admire about you other than your determination?
Take the opportunity to understand yourself a bit better. -
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No point telling me. You have to ask yourself whether the juice is worth the squeeze after making an assessment.Originally posted by clueless007:it's getting more and more deep.. i should really re-evaluate...
well, she's really a nice person, treats her frens truely, no ulterior motives, wun ostracize others...
Besides, you cannot make an accurate assessment of a person over a few months.
So donÂ’t be too eager to answer that question.
All I want you to realize is that you cannot blindly invest your time and effort without jumping out from your infatuation mode.
Make the assessment from time to time. The process takes time. People change.
We should be talking about years here.
Your disappointment is a result of your infatuation.Originally posted by clueless007:maybe it's that i'm too demanding on wad i expect from my gf.. but i realised now that having too high hopes will only result in disappointment as no one is obliged to do wad u wish they would do.
Having said that, I think it is good to have expectations.
In my case, I will not attempt to change anything about her if she deviates from my expectations. I will choose to walk away.
Your sincerity might be what made her accept you in the first place.Originally posted by clueless007:i duno wad other good points i have but i strongly believe that i'll treat my other half truthfully, fooling around is not something i'll do..the only thing i can give her now is my heart..
Is your sincerity alone enough to keep her interested in the relationship?
Think again, there are millions of guys out there who are sincere and loyal.
Look at the music CDs in your bedroom, is there one that you particularly like?
How is it different from the other CDs?
Your individuality stems from what you experience in your life.
It is your life experiences that define you.
It is your life experiences that can keep a relationship interesting and fulfilling.
So the best advice to you right now is to shut down your computer, go out there and enjoy life. Experience new things and challenges instead of worry about things you cannot control.
DonÂ’t get too hung up about what she is going to do after the exams.
If she wants to continue the relationship, learn to be more understanding and fair. She is only seventeen; give each other more space for personal development.
If she wants to bail out, at least you can use what I write as a reference for your next relationship. -
TS,
If you feel this badly about her being insensitive, abt the way she treats you
abt u thinking she does not love you enough... after just 3 months into the relationship,
why are you still with her?
this is the first 3 months.... if you are already so unhappy, there's only 2 things you can do.
1) talk it over with her. (as in really sit and talk)
2) leave. -
she wanan initiate a silent break. fullstop.....
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Sorry 2 say this, but u are a little childish in wanting to break off with her just because she didn't reply u and u are not satisfied with her answer. You must understand that this relationship is giving her a little stress at the moment because she don't want her parents to find out about this relationship. She loves u, that's why she is with her, but also because she is afraid of her parents finding out, she's in a fix.Originally posted by clueless007:can some1 help? feeling so confused... dun think my gf luvs me anymore...
ytd, when we met, she was so stressed, afraid tt her parents will find out abt us n this is the first time she cried.
today, smsed her 4 times and called her, but she nv replied my smses and pick up my call.. i juz wanna noe how is she today.. is she feeling better.. from the first sms in the morning to the 4th in the evening, she didnt reply.. i was so worried... until 8 plus she replied.. she juz reached home after watching soccer match in school, i asked her how is she.. she said ok, then i asked her why didnt she reply me... she said she was being selfish.. i mean wth??? wad kind of answer is tt?? think she dun rly give a shi+ abt me... to think tt i'm worried over her, didnt even tell me she's going home late... nv told me anything until i told her i was worried sick.. wad is wrong??? talked to her, asked her y she didnt reply me, she said she also duno y.. i mean how selfish n self centered one can get?? i seriously wonder y she wanna treat me this way.. i dun understand... wad is wrong with some pple... how can i actually dun give FARKING SHIT abt ur other half...
love comes and go.. think it's time i let it go...
Try to understand that she needs a little time to herself to sort things out. You smsing her and asking her how's she is comforting to her, but try 2 understand that she probably never reply u because she is thinking of what to do next. Try 2 be supportive. Tell her that u will be there for her no matter what, but at the same time tell her u need 2 know if there's anything bothering her. This is probably her first relationship, so she don't know what to do. Be patient with her, be there for her. That's what she needs most. Don't because of a trivial matter then think of breaking up. That will only make u be seen as a jerk who walk away when she needs u most to give her support and help. -
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