Something to Ponder About..
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Just to share something I have read recently in a book...
The First Element of Chemistry: Different Interests
Happily married soul mates always have different interests. Certainly they have many shared interests, but quite often they have many more different interests. Generally it is only after a few years of living together that they discover their many differences. They don't realize it in the beginning.
When couples fall in love, they don't go around saying,"I met the most incredible person. She is so different from me." Instead they tend to say the opposite. They say this because they havent yet discovered how different their interests are.
One reason wy we are attracted to people with different interests is because we are stimulated in their presence. They are so different from us that something new inside us gets stimulated. When someone is the same as you, you are not necessarily stimulated. If we just wanted to be with ourselves, we wouldn't need a partner at all. Trying new things actually gives you more energy and makes you more attractive.
The Second Element of Chemistry: Complementary Needs
Soul mates basically have something that their partners need. This mutual dependence creates healthy emotional chemistry.
Emotional chemistry frees us from being limited by our unrealistic picutres of what our ideal partner will look like or be like. When a man is able to experience the thrill of feeling needed by a woman, he is no longer caight in pictures and expectations of what his ideal partner should look like. He will simply enjoy the pleasure of making little romantic gestures and feeling her responses. When a woman experiences a man treating her in a special way, she is free from fixating on how her ideal partner should look. She is free to follow her heart and not get caught up in unrealistic expectations of perfection. -
The Third Element of Chemistry: Maturity
We are usually attracted to someone who is at the same level of maturity as us. We cannot fully recognize a soul mate until we are ready. We need to know ourselves first before we can recognize the right person for us. As we become more mature, we gain greater wisdom and self-control. If we have negative addictive habits, eventually we feel motivated to clean up our life. We start reaching out to get support from others who are also putting their lives in order.
The Fourth Element of Chemistry: Resonance
Soul mates have similar values that resonate. It inspires us to be the best we can be. When we are with our parter, what is most important to him or her resonates with what is really important to us. You are able to see the good in your soul mate and respect and his or her values. To have similar values does not mean you will necessarily think and feel the same way about issues. You will be able to respect your partner's viewpoint and admire where he or she is coming from.
Sharing values makes us compatible with someone. It helps us to overcome the challenges that come with any relationship. When we experience the inevitable ups and downs, we can always get back up when deep in our souls we resonate with the highest values of our partner. This compatibility allows us to make compromises without giving up who we are or what is important to us. -
Women Are Like Waves
As a woman becomes more vulnerable in the rs, then quite naturally her feelings tend to rise and fall. For many weeks she may feel very loving and happy, but the suddenly, after the wave reaches its peak, the wave crashes and she hits bottom.
When a woman's wave crashes, she has very little to give, temporarily. This is when the man has to continue giving his best without expecting an immediate return. He has to remember he has the power to provide for her happiness. When a man assumes he cant provide for a woman's happiness, he will become discouraged. A man can minimize his discouragement and frustration by understanding that women are like waves and by having many positive memories of times when he has been successful. Then instead of feeling he cant do anything, he knows exactly what to do and has realistic expectations about the outcome.
When a woman's waves crasher, she will temporarily lose her ability to be as loving. she is suddenly not as self-assured, receptive and responsive. At those times, the man makes the mistake of trying to fix her. He tries to talk her out of feeling the way she does instead of taking the time to be more considerate and supportive in a way that works on venus.
Rather than giving solutions, a man can be most successful if he provides increased understanding and empathy. -
If she says, "I have no time to go out. There is so much to do. I just cant do it all..."
Don't say:
"Just don't do so much. You should relax and take it easy."
Do say:
"You give so much of yourself for so many people. Let me give you a hug."
Don't say:
"Forget it and come out with me. We can have a good time instead of being miserable."
Do say:
"There is so much to do."Then listen with empathy as she lists everything.
Don't say:
"You worry too much. It will all work out. lets just go out and have a good time."
Do say:
"After listening for a while to everything that needs to be done, either offer to help or ask,"Is there anything I can do?"
The real test of love is to be there for her when she hits bottom. When a woman is down and a man is there for her then he is always remembered and appreciated. -
Originally posted by rainee:
agreee wif this. haha
If she says, "I have no time to go out. There is so much to do. I just cant do it all..."
Don't say:
"Just don't do so much. You should relax and take it easy."
Do say:
"You give so much of yourself for so many people. Let me give you a hug."
Don't say:
"Forget it and come out with me. We can have a good time instead of being miserable."
Do say:
"There is so much to do."Then listen with empathy as she lists everything.
Don't say:
"You worry too much. It will all work out. lets just go out and have a good time."
Do say:
"After listening for a while to everything that needs to be done, either offer to help or ask,"Is there anything I can do?"
[b]The real test of love is to be there for her when she hits bottom. When a woman is down and a man is there for her then she is always remembered and appreciated.[/b]
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When a woman is feeling resentful, the last thing she wants is for a man to minimize the problem about which she is upset. She primarily needs to take it out, vent her frustration and feel that someone is on her side. This is what intimacy is all about.
To feel most loved, a woman needs to open up, share of herself, and experience that she is still loved.
I think this part is very true, so guys take note!
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thks for the info.......wow looks like i'm doing it all wrong
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All wrong, first element in a chemical periodic table is Hydrogen!
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Thx cher..
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Hmm... Generally quite a good book you're reading I should say?
Though I won't exactly agree with all the theories for explanations, but they're still nonetheless rather practical and applicable ones... -
what have you been doing?Originally posted by de_middle:thks for the info.......wow looks like i'm doing it all wrong 
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Barking up the wrong tree!Originally posted by rainee:what have you been doing? -
I mean chemistry as in the chemistry between two people, don't be silly!Originally posted by Herzog_Zwei:All wrong, first element in a chemical periodic table is Hydrogen! 
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Quoted from Mars & Venus?
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no prob...I have more to post, but they are kinda long lolzOriginally posted by Darkness_hacker99:Thx cher.. -
yup, some of the points are quite enlightening and interesting, dats why I thought of sharing them with the peeps here. Hopefully we will all learn sth from itOriginally posted by Devil1976:Hmm... Generally quite a good book you're reading I should say?
Though I won't exactly agree with all the theories for explanations, but they're still nonetheless rather practical and applicable ones...
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yup...you have the book as well?Originally posted by Wanda:Quoted from Mars & Venus? -
Oppsie... me blurz...Originally posted by rainee:I mean chemistry as in the chemistry between two people, don't be silly! -
I don't mind long.Originally posted by rainee:no prob...I have more to post, but they are kinda long lolz -
I will type them out in a moment, cos they are all from a book I have and I cant find any of those text online, so I have to type them in word by word lolz. Might take some timeOriginally posted by Darkness_hacker99:I don't mind long.
But they will be out
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Originally posted by Wanda:Quoted from Mars & Venus?
Mmm... No wonder the interpretation parts a bit weird...?Originally posted by rainee:yup...you have the book as well? -
Thx cher!Originally posted by rainee:I will type them out in a moment, cos they are all from a book I have and I cant find any of those text online, so I have to type them in word by word lolz. Might take some time
But they will be out -
wich interpretation part?Originally posted by Devil1976:Mmm... No wonder the interpretation parts a bit weird...?
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If Woman are like Waves...
Men are Like Rubber Bands
To move into a woman's life without losing his sense of self and sense of autonomy, a man moves back and forth between feelinga strong desire to get close and a desire to get away and be on his own. The more intimate a man becomes with a woman, the more he will sometimes feel a need to pull away.
When a man pulls away, it is very important that she not pursue him or try to get him back. She must be careful not to be rejecting when he returns. A man needs to feel that she freely accepts his tendency to pull away.
Women mistakenly assume that more intimacy is better. When a an pulls away, a woman thinks something is wrong and want to experience more intimacy.
The wise woman learns to give a man his space and trust that he will once again find his hunger to bewith her on his own. She understands that "absence makes the heart grow fonder." -
The recognition of our partner to be our soul mate is only a glimpse in the beginning. Although we are certan that our partner is right for us, this knowledge can later be doubted or gorgotten.
To make sure it is lasting, we must acknowledge and commit ourselves to it.