Losing Faith...
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I am a 21 years old with no successful BGR before but with 3 unsuccessful confessions....
I am feeling rather dejected by this. I know there are others out there who suffer much worse fate than me (after reading through the AA forum) but i am starting to feel lethargic about relationship. I admit i get attracted to pretty girls easily but because of my look and past experience, I always try to refrain myself from liking them. To prevent them from being kind to me which always give me false hope, i will act like a jerk to them but not to the extent that i am so resentful (still can be normal friend that kind). The 3 confessions i made to the girls is because they are just being nice to me, then i thought they like me (but i also like them too la). Now i am going to UNI soon, i am wondering i should go for the orientation cos i hear from my senior that you will get to know a lot of people there, especially chio bu. I am scared of falling in love again, i rather to be single than to be hurted again. Now that i am no longer feeling much for girl (dun say i gay, i hate them to the core, i rather be a virgin till i die than to be a gay), i am reverting back to my true self now (no longer acting like a jerk) as i dun like to wear a mask if i can afford to. Despite saying all this, i am yielding that one day i can get a really good girlfriend so that i won't leave this earth with any regret. Sian..... Sry but i just wanna grumble.... -
thank you for posting
P.S ferret rip off my siggy -
dont feel so bad. i share the same experience with you. wait lor. no choice. sometimes i wonder if i really like that particular girl, or is it just a crush. might be the same for you too...Originally posted by Uncertain:I am a 21 years old with no successful BGR before but with 3 unsuccessful confessions.... I am feeling rather dejected by this. I know there are others out there who suffer much worse fate than me (after reading through the AA forum) but i am starting to feel lethargic about relationship. I admit i get attracted to pretty girls easily but because of my look and past experience, I always try to refrain myself from liking them. To prevent them from being kind to me which always give me false hope, i will act like a jerk to them but not to the extent that i am so resentful (still can be normal friend that kind). The 3 confessions i made to the girls is because they are just being nice to me, then i thought they like me (but i also like them too la). Now i am going to UNI soon, i am wondering i should go for the orientation cos i hear from my senior that you will get to know a lot of people there, especially chio bu. I am scared of falling in love again, i rather to be single than to be hurted again. Now that i am no longer feeling much for girl (dun say i gay, i hate them to the core, i rather be a virgin till i die than to be a gay), i am reverting back to my true self now (no longer acting like a jerk) as i dun like to wear a mask if i can afford to. Despite saying all this, i am yielding that one day i can get a really good girlfriend so that i won't leave this earth with any regret. Sian..... Sry but i just wanna grumble.... -
btw ignore those irrelevant posts.
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I get it that you like pretty girls. Would you accept an average plain Jane ?
Also, your acting jerky is bad for your long term reputations.
Girls WILL talk among themselves. And yes we do warn each other which jerky guys to avoid.
So yes, your bad behaviour will come back to bite you.
Once you go into Uni, do be nice and put your best foot forward ALL THE TIME.
You wouldn't know what or who you gonna meet.
Go ahead and participate in social activities, just don't come across as someone desperate.
When a girl rejects you, graciously accept the rejection. If you behave like a jerk again, everyone will treat you like one. -
oops, when I read the title, i thot TS is losing religion!!
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ya thanks for the advice, i think i will just be like bladez87 just wait and see. thanks jojobeach, i dun need supermodel gf, i just need a kind-hearted girl who is filial and decent-looking (that is the pretty that i am refering to) that's all. Ya thanks for the advice, i will be a nice guy in Uni. If we are fated, we will be together.
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just be nice to your friends, maybe 1 day u will fall for someone and so happens she is fond of you also. no rush to get into a relationship ma. after all 99% the relationship will break. that 1 % happens when you get married, and even so there is still divorce. so ya take your time.Originally posted by Uncertain:ya thanks for the advice, i think i will just be like bladez87 just wait and see. thanks jojobeach, i dun need supermodel gf, i just need a kind-hearted girl who is filial and decent-looking (that is the pretty that i am refering to) that's all. Ya thanks for the advice, i will be a nice guy in Uni. If we are fated, we will be together. -
Only 3 rejections???
I had more!!
Rejections will lead you to your true love one day.
Come on!! -
once boat reach jetty road will b straight.... a chinese saying.... u nvr noe if there's someone who relaly likes u out there....
well...juz leave it man...man doesnt need a woman to live man...concentrate on ur studies 1st...uni fees nt cheap man~
dnt waste the effort n chance dat uve put in ~ 
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just a tip that you should keep thinking.
you are finding the RIGHT one. NOT the PRETTY one.
and pls. dun act like a jerk. Bad you for. very. -
Rejections are part of the way to a successful relationship. You just gonna accept it , like it or not .Originally posted by Uncertain:I am a 21 years old with no successful BGR before but with 3 unsuccessful confessions.... I am feeling rather dejected by this. I know there are others out there who suffer much worse fate than me (after reading through the AA forum) but i am starting to feel lethargic about relationship. I admit i get attracted to pretty girls easily but because of my look and past experience, I always try to refrain myself from liking them. To prevent them from being kind to me which always give me false hope, i will act like a jerk to them but not to the extent that i am so resentful (still can be normal friend that kind). The 3 confessions i made to the girls is because they are just being nice to me, then i thought they like me (but i also like them too la). Now i am going to UNI soon, i am wondering i should go for the orientation cos i hear from my senior that you will get to know a lot of people there, especially chio bu. I am scared of falling in love again, i rather to be single than to be hurted again. Now that i am no longer feeling much for girl (dun say i gay, i hate them to the core, i rather be a virgin till i die than to be a gay), i am reverting back to my true self now (no longer acting like a jerk) as i dun like to wear a mask if i can afford to. Despite saying all this, i am yielding that one day i can get a really good girlfriend so that i won't leave this earth with any regret. Sian..... Sry but i just wanna grumble.... 
Also , like what others had said , acting a jerk wouldn't help you, it would only worsen the situation . There's nothing wrong in falling in love with a pretty lady, even if you are down right ugly . But just be careful not to fall in love too deeply with her .
Back to rejections , i suggest you think this way , "Hmm...A rejection will somehow lead to a successful relationship and eventually marriage . She rejected me is because , she didn't appreciate my looks and person, but someone out there , whom i hadn't meet , will . "
Hope it helps ! Cheers ! -
Sweet guy , aren't you ?Originally posted by Uncertain:i just need a kind-hearted girl who is filial and decent-looking (that is the pretty that i am refering to) that's all. Ya thanks for the advice, i will be a nice guy in Uni. If we are fated, we will be together.
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Orhhh.......bitching and gossiping.Originally posted by jojobeach:IAlso, your acting jerky is bad for your long term reputations.
Girls WILL talk among themselves. And yes we do warn each other which jerky guys to avoid.
So yes, your bad behaviour will come back to bite you.
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Originally posted by Uncertain:ya thanks for the advice, i think i will just be like bladez87 just wait and see. thanks jojobeach, i dun need supermodel gf, i just need a kind-hearted girl who is filial and decent-looking (that is the pretty that i am refering to) that's all. Ya thanks for the advice, i will be a nice guy in Uni. If we are fated, we will be together.
Can describe "indecent looking" to me? -
Steady la bro. keep it steady ok!
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Just be yourself. Do not ever be someone that you are not. You must be truthful not only to girls but to all people.
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Originally posted by Uncertain:I am a 21 years old with no successful BGR before but with 3 unsuccessful confessions.... I am feeling rather dejected by this. I know there are others out there who suffer much worse fate than me (after reading through the AA forum) but i am starting to feel lethargic about relationship. I admit i get attracted to pretty girls easily but because of my look and past experience, I always try to refrain myself from liking them. To prevent them from being kind to me which always give me false hope, i will act like a jerk to them but not to the extent that i am so resentful (still can be normal friend that kind). The 3 confessions i made to the girls is because they are just being nice to me, then i thought they like me (but i also like them too la). Now i am going to UNI soon, i am wondering i should go for the orientation cos i hear from my senior that you will get to know a lot of people there, especially chio bu. I am scared of falling in love again, i rather to be single than to be hurted again. Now that i am no longer feeling much for girl (dun say i gay, i hate them to the core, i rather be a virgin till i die than to be a gay), i am reverting back to my true self now (no longer acting like a jerk) as i dun like to wear a mask if i can afford to. Despite saying all this, i am yielding that one day i can get a really good girlfriend so that i won't leave this earth with any regret. Sian..... Sry but i just wanna grumble....
If it dawns to you by now, you actually have a modus operendi when it comes to the dating game and it has transformed itself into a vicious cycle which you have failed to identify, resulting in several bungles and botched-attempts of similar fashion over and over again.
The greatest factor why you always fail in love is largely due to your mindset - without a doubt, all failures fed themselves with this mindset - the concept of fear, which beget the outcome of insecurity and exude a 'push-factor aura' to woman around you.
The very facade that you brandished turns woman away and ironically, the reason why you initially garbed that notion is due to the fear of rejection. Paradoxically, you actually produce a 'solution' that inevitably contributes to your destruction and failures. Ego-crushed, you retreated and reiterated this ideology, then even when waves of failures trampled whatever esteem you have beyond fragments, you regress further and still persisted.
Though you may have switched your targets; it all ended up in the same backwash.
It's never a sin to fall in love, but surely, if you do hope for any chance of a genuine relationship, you got to be genuine yourself and be natural. Secondly, rejection is not a consequence of your run-of-the-mill appearance - much have to do with your personality. IMHO, you mentioned that you can't handle rejection; I reckon you can't handle affection as well. Generally, people are nice and if they are just being friendly and you find yourself hastily falling in love with whoever that treats you nicely, you are just going to spoil the broth even if there's only one cook.
Hold your horses and hang on for just a moment. Relationship with woman is not just BGR - learn to develop it first before you level up.
Cheers -
I was once like u. Being rejected twice. In fact,I am very serious abt that 2 attempted r/s.Originally posted by Uncertain:I am a 21 years old with no successful BGR before but with 3 unsuccessful confessions.... I am feeling rather dejected by this. I know there are others out there who suffer much worse fate than me (after reading through the AA forum) but i am starting to feel lethargic about relationship. I admit i get attracted to pretty girls easily but because of my look and past experience, I always try to refrain myself from liking them. To prevent them from being kind to me which always give me false hope, i will act like a jerk to them but not to the extent that i am so resentful (still can be normal friend that kind). The 3 confessions i made to the girls is because they are just being nice to me, then i thought they like me (but i also like them too la). Now i am going to UNI soon, i am wondering i should go for the orientation cos i hear from my senior that you will get to know a lot of people there, especially chio bu. I am scared of falling in love again, i rather to be single than to be hurted again. Now that i am no longer feeling much for girl (dun say i gay, i hate them to the core, i rather be a virgin till i die than to be a gay), i am reverting back to my true self now (no longer acting like a jerk) as i dun like to wear a mask if i can afford to. Despite saying all this, i am yielding that one day i can get a really good girlfriend so that i won't leave this earth with any regret. Sian..... Sry but i just wanna grumble....
I told myself,I will suceed for my 3rd time! I told myself,their failure to accept me is their big loss and not me. Then at that time,I know a gal friend. She becomes a very good friend of mine and she starts giving me a lot of info on gals,their behaviour,their reply,how to capture a gals heart sometimes. From her I learn alot and my confident even grew bigger. And as I promise,my third confession ended in my first r/s...... -
what i mean by decent-looking is normal but must be filial girl, please pardon me for my traditional thinking. Normal as in non-tomboyish, encouraging and must trust me. If she dun trusts me and doubts me all the time... what is the point being together.Originally posted by Patrik:
Can describe "indecent looking" to me?
So indecent-looking is the direct opposite of what i describe above. so do i answer your query? -
I think what u say is really true, i cannot handle affection and rejection well. But then, after all the past experience i gotten, i think that i shouldn't just fall in love so readily when being treated nicely but rather let nature takes its course. ya i did mention i am no longer a jerk now cos i am waiting for my other half to find me instead of me finding her. If i am fated to be single, i would jolly well accept the reality and not grumble about y am i so useless. I know i am selfish but i am really lethargicOriginally posted by Yunhaier: If it dawns to you by now, you actually have a modus operendi when it comes to the dating game and it has transformed itself into a vicious cycle which you have failed to identify, resulting in several bungles and botched-attempts of similar fashion over and over again.
The greatest factor why you always fail in love is largely due to your mindset - without a doubt, all failures fed themselves with this mindset - the concept of fear, which beget the outcome of insecurity and exude a 'push-factor aura' to woman around you.
The very facade that you brandished turns woman away and ironically, the reason why you initially garbed that notion is due to the fear of rejection. Paradoxically, you actually produce a 'solution' that inevitably contributes to your destruction and failures. Ego-crushed, you retreated and reiterated this ideology, then even when waves of failures trampled whatever esteem you have beyond fragments, you regress further and still persisted.
Though you may have switched your targets; it all ended up in the same backwash.
It's never a sin to fall in love, but surely, if you do hope for any chance of a genuine relationship, you got to be genuine yourself and be natural. Secondly, rejection is not a consequence of your run-of-the-mill appearance - much have to do with your personality. IMHO, you mentioned that you can't handle rejection; I reckon you can't handle affection as well. Generally, people are nice and if they are just being friendly and you find yourself hastily falling in love with whoever that treats you nicely, you are just going to spoil the broth even if there's only one cook.
Hold your horses and hang on for just a moment. Relationship with woman is not just BGR - learn to develop it first before you level up.
Cheers . If somehow the girl i know likes me and i dun feel uncomfortable with her, i think i will be with her. i believe love can be nurtured. -
Good luck with your relationshipOriginally posted by CannyOng:I was once like u. Being rejected twice. In fact,I am very serious abt that 2 attempted r/s.
I told myself,I will suceed for my 3rd time! I told myself,their failure to accept me is their big loss and not me. Then at that time,I know a gal friend. She becomes a very good friend of mine and she starts giving me a lot of info on gals,their behaviour,their reply,how to capture a gals heart sometimes. From her I learn alot and my confident even grew bigger. And as I promise,my third confession ended in my first r/s......
I have reached my third and i think i won't proceed further. -
I digress a bit.Originally posted by Uncertain:what i mean by decent-looking is normal but must be filial girl, please pardon me for my traditional thinking. Normal as in non-tomboyish, encouraging and must trust me. If she dun trusts me and doubts me all the time... what is the point being together.
So indecent-looking is the direct opposite of what i describe above. so do i answer your query?
Filial piety.
I know of two couples.
One girl very filial, everything " my mother says".
Husband cannot tahan, everything also "my mother says".
Girl seeks permission for everything from mother.
One guy, everything also " my mother don't like"
Girlfriend left because she cannot stand mommy's boy anymore.
"My mother think you too tomboy, my mother think you will not make a good wife because you cannot cook".
Filial piety is good for the parent.
Trust, must be earned.
A girl will not trust a guy because of what he did and how he behaved.
It has nothing to do with love.
Just because a person loves you doesn't mean she should trust you.
If you do shady things, and expect your g/f to still trust you.
You are dreaming.
Perhaps you need to streamline your expectations. -
hi jojobeach, thanks for your advice the last time.
Ya as for the filial piety, non-tomboyish and trust i think i put it in a too general way. please allow me to explain further.
Being filial is not equivalent to everything also must consult parents. my understanding of filial piety is that we, as children, must know how to repay our parent for what they have done for us. For my case, i have a loving parent that encourage me when i am down and cares for me when i am in danger. Therefore, forsaking my parent for a girl is a big NO NO. But if i know my gf is filial then i can be quite sure that she won't tell me to forsake my parent.
to me, non-tomboyish is to behave like a lady that's all. i know of a girl who spikes her hair, then i was like OH MY GOSH.
Though i know it is quite common now.
yes i agree trust needs to be earned. But the trust that i am refering to is dun be overly-suspicious. If she doubts me when i am just chit-chatting with a female colleague or friend, then should i doubt her when she talks to a guy friend? For me, i trust my girl wholeheartedly as long as she dun kiss other guy la. If ur other half behaves affectionately with the opposite sex, u can treat it as though it is nothing meh? -
Just keep on trying lor ... I trust your taste ... Im still trying to jio my crush again though i fail once