Something to share
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There is a girl whom I liked who is studying in the same course as me in the uni. But due to a twist of fate, I was one month too late in expressing my feelings to her. I never had such a strong feeling for a girl ever before. To me, she's the cutest and sweetest girl I've ever met or seen.
Before her current bf expresses his feelings to her, we were getting along well and i can sense that I could stand a chance if I ever have an opportunity to tell her my feelings. Actually i plan to do that on her birthday. Cruel as it seems, just one month before her birthday, her bf made the move before me. Before that, I never knew there was any guy going after her. If I knew that beforehand, I would have put more effort in wooing her. Until now, I still believe that if I was the one who made the move first, things would have been very much different. When I asked her if she would accept me if I was the one who expressed my feelings to her first, she refused to answer.
She is at least kind enough to tell me that she has a bf even before she told her other friends. She asked if I will still continue to treat her as a friend. Of course I do. I still treasure my friendship with her. When I saw her bf's photo, he was better looking and bigger size than me. I guess only a stupid girl will reject such a guy's proposal. If I'm a girl, I would have also chosen him instead of me. Everyone wants the best thing for themselves.
Knowing that her bf in now serving NS, and wish to go to the university next year, I also wish that he can go to the uni he wants. Even if he needs any help in future, I'll also willing to go all out to help him. How I wish her bf is a nice guy who will take good care of her. It doesn't matter I can't have her if she can get a guy who is better than me. I also want her to have the best thing as well.
During a certain gathering, I finally managed to see him in person. I msg her to ask her to intro her bf to me. Initially she agreed. But after that she said that her bf doesn't wish to know me. I'm really very disappointed over his response. If her bf is really a nice guy, he wonldn't have rejected my offer. If he can prove to be that he is a kind and magnanimous gentleman, I would not have any worries for her. I would have been more than willing to let him have her. If he is really such a nice guy, even if he were to let me have her, I would have rejected his offer. To think that I even prayed for him, that he can go to the uni he wanted, really disappoints me. Nevertheless, I still ask her to say "Hi" to him on my behalf and tell him to enjoy himself.
I understand that sometimes a guy is not willing to associate with any guy who is close to his gf. Maybe he needs time. She told be before that her bf is not very mature. Well, I guess everyone needs time to grow and mature. I really hope that he can mature soon and take good care of her. Sometimes I do feel that love between couples can be selfish at times. But of course when two get together happily without anyone getting hurt, it is a good thing. But when two get together at the expense of someone else getting hurt, I think it is not worth it.
I guess I'll continue waiting for her just in case. That is because I'm a guy. I can get a gf easily in future with a gd career. For girls, its different, the older she is, the harder it is for her to find a bf. I also cannot bear to see her get hurt in future. I believe a lot of problems in relationship happen because people make the wrong choice right from the beginning. I do not wish to find another gf now, because if I found one and she breaks off with her bf, I'll be in a deadlock situation.
Sometimes I feel that being so nice to others will only hurt myself even more. Others may not appreciated it at all. But that is all about love. Love is all about selflessness and giving, without asking anything in return. It is not an easy thing to do.
I just want to have a place to let go of my feelings and emotions... -
Wah u such a gentleman wor....hiaz but then the nice guys always lose out...
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get a life......... 
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don worry.... u see her everyday while she gets to see her bf only on weekends....
as they say, "as time pass by, feelings develops"
never be a gentleman in a r/s.... u will only lose out.... do ur best to get her
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to love is to suffer in silence
being loved is bliss and oblivious to the surroundings...
pity ur case
but u have to move on....
yes, nice guys are often the ones who lose out
but i'm sure nice guys such as you, can find a truely loved one...
someone who really can appreciate you...
nice guys are hard to be
but at least it's better than being a total jerk
=) -
hey ...i can feel the love u have for her and how u really wish the best for her and everything.
Be there for her ...regardless what happens and regardless what she treats u as...cuz you will know when you really love someone when you want her to be happy even if their happiness means you are not a part of it..
Love may not always be reciprocrated but it may be...some day..who knows ?
all the best
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take it easy dude. support you.
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Too many MAYBEs in your Life.... If you're gonna start calculating for the ten thousands of POTENTIAL hazards in every step ya take, you most probably won't make it to your next 100 metres....Originally posted by Clave:There is a girl whom I liked who is studying in the same course as me in the uni. But due to a twist of fate, I was one month too late in expressing my feelings to her. I never had such a strong feeling for a girl ever before. To me, she's the cutest and sweetest girl I've ever met or seen.
Before her current bf expresses his feelings to her, we were getting along well and i can sense that I could stand a chance if I ever have an opportunity to tell her my feelings. Actually i plan to do that on her birthday. Cruel as it seems, just one month before her birthday, her bf made the move before me. Before that, I never knew there was any guy going after her. If I knew that beforehand, I would have put more effort in wooing her. Until now, I still believe that if I was the one who made the move first, things would have been very much different. When I asked her if she would accept me if I was the one who expressed my feelings to her first, she refused to answer.
She is at least kind enough to tell me that she has a bf even before she told her other friends. She asked if I will still continue to treat her as a friend. Of course I do. I still treasure my friendship with her. When I saw her bf's photo, he was better looking and bigger size than me. I guess only a stupid girl will reject such a guy's proposal. If I'm a girl, I would have also chosen him instead of me. Everyone wants the best thing for themselves.
Knowing that her bf in now serving NS, and wish to go to the university next year, I also wish that he can go to the uni he wants. Even if he needs any help in future, I'll also willing to go all out to help him. How I wish her bf is a nice guy who will take good care of her. It doesn't matter I can't have her if she can get a guy who is better than me. I also want her to have the best thing as well.
During a certain gathering, I finally managed to see him in person. I msg her to ask her to intro her bf to me. Initially she agreed. But after that she said that her bf doesn't wish to know me. I'm really very disappointed over his response. If her bf is really a nice guy, he wonldn't have rejected my offer. If he can prove to be that he is a kind and magnanimous gentleman, I would not have any worries for her. I would have been more than willing to let him have her. If he is really such a nice guy, even if he were to let me have her, I would have rejected his offer. To think that I even prayed for him, that he can go to the uni he wanted, really disappoints me. Nevertheless, I still ask her to say "Hi" to him on my behalf and tell him to enjoy himself.
I understand that sometimes a guy is not willing to associate with any guy who is close to his gf. Maybe he needs time. She told be before that her bf is not very mature. Well, I guess everyone needs time to grow and mature. I really hope that he can mature soon and take good care of her. Sometimes I do feel that love between couples can be selfish at times. But of course when two get together happily without anyone getting hurt, it is a good thing. But when two get together at the expense of someone else getting hurt, I think it is not worth it.
I guess I'll continue waiting for her just in case. That is because I'm a guy. I can get a gf easily in future with a gd career. For girls, its different, the older she is, the harder it is for her to find a bf. I also cannot bear to see her get hurt in future. I believe a lot of problems in relationship happen because people make the wrong choice right from the beginning. I do not wish to find another gf now, because if I found one and she breaks off with her bf, I'll be in a deadlock situation.
Sometimes I feel that being so nice to others will only hurt myself even more. Others may not appreciated it at all. But that is all about love. Love is all about selflessness and giving, without asking anything in return. It is not an easy thing to do.
I just want to have a place to let go of my feelings and emotions...
Yes... Loving someone is being selfish in a sense.... Whether her bf is nice to her or not in the future, she've made her choice... Even if things go wrong for her in the future, doesn't mean that she would necessarily have to choose to be with you...?
Thinking that you're ALL LOVE and SELFISH is just WHAT you think... If YOUR AIM is not her, would you be doing all this?
Urge you to just move on with your life... If it's meant to be, it'll be... Performing TOO MUCH of such RESTRICTIVE acts might only act on to your own misery and perhaps even hers too in the future....
Her bf's good or not is not up to you to judge... REMEMBER, he's HER BF.... NOT yours..... -
If I don't calculate my every potential hazard in my life, all I need is one wrong step, drop into the "long kang" and I won't reach the end of my 100m as well. I will still ultimately reach the end of the 100m eventually if I make sure I make the right move everytime. Even though it might be a slow process, but at least its possible.
Of course I know she has already made the choice and she might not choose me even if things might not work out between she and her bf, but again, it really doesn't matter. I will always respect her choice. I know u mean well and always encourage pple to move on with life. Its good.
But I believe this world will be a better world if there are more selfless pple and love around. Nevermind if the whole world around you are heartless. The light in you will show sooner or later. And I not only show love to her, but to everyone around me. If you need any help, I'm also more than willing to go all out to help you as long as it is within my limit. No problem abt that. I also wish to love her bf as much as I love her.
And whether her bf is good to her is not for me to judge. I agreed. I'm not judging him. I'm juz pointing out his weak points and hope that he can change for the better. Everyone has their bad points, including me. I know my bad points as well. I'm sure he can be a better person if he can be more gentlemanly. It is a constructive criticism, not a judgment. Everyone's character need to be improved and that can only come if others are kind enough to point it out. If not, that person will never realise it. -
Actually I won't be so sad if I am given a chance to express my feelings to her and then she reject me. I'm not afraid of rejection.
My only regret is that I will never know what the outcome would be if I am the one who express my feelings to her first. -
hey clave
u're a cute & nice guy so stay tt way!
Life is a combination of both sadness n happiness....
we cant choose to have which of them more but we can control how we can move on in life, positively or negatively.
learn as we fail....fail as we succeed....be a better man to earn a better wife
someone ever ask me,' Do u believe in true love?'
guess wat's my answer?
i think we'll never be able to u/stand wat is true love or whether true love exists at all.... n if the one i used to love or the one im loving now is my true love......
All ends well
so only the day when we die, we shall know. Look Back & the answer is clear.
Therefore, wat im trying to say is tt u r rite abt wat u r doing now....
However, bear in mind tt we've got to move on in Life, Look Forward so we'll be able to know who's our true love...dun decide so early who shall be the one...we never know rite?
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Thanks reallieRAW...
That is a really nice sharing from you.
You are right... there will ultimately be people around you who will appreciate you one day.
Actually I'm feeling quite ok already. I treat it as a learing experience. I believe if I didn't go through this incident, I won't be the person I am now. I'm constantly improving myself as well. No one is perfect and maturity comes only with experience. I'm learning as well.
I share this only to let go of my emotions... and hope others who took the time to read it will benefit as well. Thats the good thing abt internet forum! -
hey dont paint yourself like an angel and he the devil leh. speak until so nice in the end you are just backstabbing him without really knowing the person out of jealousy.
get a life dude. -
I may have made the wrong judgment.
That is why I wish to know him better. There is nothing wrong with knowing him as a friend. I'm only disappointed in the gesture he made, but never said he is not a nice person.
You may think that I may be jealous... Well, I admit at times, but the way to deal with jealousy is love. I already said I have my bad points as well. I'm not perfect.
Besides not all angels are good There are fallen angels as well.
Different people have different definition of life. -
Hooray clave!!!!Originally posted by Clave:I may have made the wrong judgment.
That is why I wish to know him better. There is nothing wrong with knowing him as a friend. I'm only disappointed in the gesture he made, but never said he is not a nice person.
You may think that I may be jealous... Well, I admit at times, but the way to deal with jealousy is love. I already said I have my bad points as well. I'm not perfect.
Besides not all angels are good There are fallen angels as well.
Different people have different definition of life.
tt's the WAY!!!!
Live ur life u've always imagined.....u cant control wat others will feel...do or say but u definitely can control how u can perceive their words or opinions...n finally turning it into the POWER in u.....be conscious clear..... -
fallen angels are such like me
=)
who hasn't fallen, at least once in his/her lifetime???
u are someone who likes to plan... it's gd
but u worry too much, the outcome, if it's gd, or bad
u are afraid of hurt, but.... u want to achieve something...
like what devil said, u are juz running ard in circles
u dun get anything done....
who says that falling down is bad??
who says falling into the "long kang" is bad?
life is an experience, to each fall we make, we learn how to overcome it, overcome ourselves, our fears, to be a better person
nobody's perfect... u are u, u live ur own life
the ger that u like has hers, and so has that guy's life
our lives belong to no one else except ourselves...
sometime's it's better to juz let it be, holding on, sometimes is more painful than letting go(i am not saying that u stop being frens wif that ger)
start getting to a new pt. in ur life, go forth, not back, u'll never know what u can find... -
Thanks AngelDark...
What you said is correct. Holding on to something is no good. I realise that as well. I'm already beginning to give her some breathing space. Actually I want to let her try out the relationship as well and prove me wrong. If it turns out well, I'll be happy for her and I'll very gladly take back all the things I've said abt her bf.
Its her first bf in her life. It will prick my conscience for the rest of my life if she is hurt in anyway due to my interference.
As for the "long kang" I'm talking about. Maybe "long kang" is not a good analogy. My original meaning is potential hazards like what Devil1976 has said. What I'm worried is the potential danger of hurting others in the process of my decision. Maybe it will be a learning experience for that other party as well, but it is not a good feeling in making others fall because of me.
So, I plan ahead to prevent others from being hurt. -
u seem to be heading for where i am now
haha
but note
to be like that, u really have to sacrifice lots of ur life, u have to have many restrictions
u sure abt that?
ahahhahahahahaha -
I only live my life once
As long as i dun regret what I'm doing, its fine -
gd luck
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Originally posted by RebeL:Wah u such a gentleman wor....hiaz but then the nice guys always lose out... Nice guys always lose out......
Sigh
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Originally posted by Clave:I only live my life once
As long as i dun regret what I'm doing, its fine Yesh. life goes on. Sigh. I was once like you. Almost similar situation...... -
guess u shld leave her alone n not wait 4 her...i presume dat be it any guy/gal they wun want their bf/gf to haf a CLOSE fren from e opposite sex..as u haf mentioned...love is selfish...u shld put urself in her bf's shoes...her bf is in ns whlie shes studying n theres this guy trying to get into the gd books of his gf..no doubt the guy will feel uneasy...i agree wif u dat her bf is not mature when he refused to acknowledge u..but if u c from the other pt of view.. her bf is sending a signal to u...STAY CLEAR OF MY GF....i noe it is IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of ur feelings for dat special someone but u gotta learn to move on in life...indulge in activities dat u enjoy...may help a little...juz voicing my opinion...no flaming intended...
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Of course if a good girl comes along I won't be so stupid to reject lah, but now I don't see the need to have one
If I'm in her bf's shoe, I'll treat any close guy friends of hers well as well. By treating them in a gentleman way, my gf will respect me as well. I'll trust my gf. If she betray my trust, then she's not fit to be my life partner.
Actually I think he is quite free now. He going to ORD soon and he is in the air force. Poly students are harder to get into local uni. Hope he can get into one.
I hate to be in love with an attached girl as well. But this time I'm forced my circumstances. In love before she gets attached. Her friend told me she feels sorry for me as well.
That time when she told me she has a bf, we have a good talk together. She even thought I'll scold her for misleading me and playing with my feelings, but how could I possibly bear to scold her? Its not her fault as well.
Actually I bought her a bracelet waiting to give it to her when I express my feelings to her, but since now she already has a bf, I don't see the point in keeping it. And since it was originally meant for her, I gave it to her that day.
Before we left, I prayed for her and bf and wish her the best. She initially wanted to give me a treat, but I rejected the offer. Sign... what a nice girl. At least I didn't regret going after her in the first place. -
I feel ttz very noble of u...if the gal i am chasing told me she had a bf liao....i dunno how will i react....