Something to share
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Dear Brother,
I truly understand how you feel as I am in this situation too.Actually,I think you are better off than me.You still can see her often.As for my case,her boyfriend does not alllow us to meet up at all...
Check out one of my previous posts which deals with the same issue,
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=25172
What I'm doing now is keep options open while still trying to maintain contact with her through other means...
His parochial and possessive attitude just shows how insecure he is and how little trust he has in his girlfriend.
My opinion is that nice guys do not finish last.Well,at the end of the day,as the saying goes, "All's well that ends well." The bastards and the jerks will have their day,but the good guys will eventually have the last laugh.
AND they laugh the loudest too!
Keep the Faith!
Perhaps,we could discuss this in greater detail thru email? Mine is [email protected]
[/quote] The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. To dig for treasures shows not only impatience and greed, but lack of faith. Patience, patience, patience, is what the sea teaches. Patience and faith. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach - waiting for a gift from the sea.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh -
WHO you think you are to her bf? WHAT makes you THINK that he'll listen to youOriginally posted by Clave:And whether her bf is good to her is not for me to judge. I agreed. I'm not judging him. I'm juz pointing out his weak points and hope that he can change for the better. Everyone has their bad points, including me. I know my bad points as well. I'm sure he can be a better person if he can be more gentlemanly. It is a constructive criticism, not a judgment. Everyone's character need to be improved and that can only come if others are kind enough to point it out. If not, that person will never realise it.
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How could there be a TRUE REGRET when you never know? Who know what other 'regrets' might be in store for you if you'd made the 1st move? Not necessarily only the fact of being rejected which you claim that you don't fear... Life is always so UNPREDICTABLE....Originally posted by Clave:My only regret is that I will never know what the outcome would be if I am the one who express my feelings to her first. -
wow u nt bad ahh!.. bt i tink u will met the one who truely love u one day...the time haven come yet......wats urs will be urs......actualy the feeling of liking someone is quite nice...hehee..better than u dn cherish her..when she already go with u...Originally posted by Clave:Of course if a good girl comes along I won't be so stupid to reject lah, but now I don't see the need to have one
If I'm in her bf's shoe, I'll treat any close guy friends of hers well as well. By treating them in a gentleman way, my gf will respect me as well. I'll trust my gf. If she betray my trust, then she's not fit to be my life partner.
Actually I think he is quite free now. He going to ORD soon and he is in the air force. Poly students are harder to get into local uni. Hope he can get into one.
I hate to be in love with an attached girl as well. But this time I'm forced my circumstances. In love before she gets attached. Her friend told me she feels sorry for me as well.
That time when she told me she has a bf, we have a good talk together. She even thought I'll scold her for misleading me and playing with my feelings, but how could I possibly bear to scold her? Its not her fault as well.
Actually I bought her a bracelet waiting to give it to her when I express my feelings to her, but since now she already has a bf, I don't see the point in keeping it. And since it was originally meant for her, I gave it to her that day.
Before we left, I prayed for her and bf and wish her the best. She initially wanted to give me a treat, but I rejected the offer. Sign... what a nice girl. At least I didn't regret going after her in the first place. -
YOU ARE NOT GOD. DON'T THINK TOO HIGHLY of yourself.... Even IF there's a GOD, people still complain about him/her/it making mistakes... MOREOVER you're JUST A HUMAN?Originally posted by Clave:So, I plan ahead to prevent others from being hurt.
Sometimes doing TOO MUCH doesn't necessarily imply that you'll achieve MORE.... IMAGINE how SAD you would be one day if you find out that it's your INTERFERENCE which has indirectly caused her UNHAPPINESS or even MORE? -
Originally posted by Clave:
IF? But you're NOT...? How ya like it when someone starts telling you HOW you should BEHAVE to be a 'GOOD' BF? If she really needs help, you can go ahead and try helping her... I REPEAT, you're NOT GOD....
[b]If I'm in her bf's shoe, I'll treat any close guy friends of hers well as well. By treating them in a gentleman way, my gf will respect me as well. I'll trust my gf. If she betray my trust, then she's not fit to be my life partner.
[/b] -
y sudenly gt God?
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I never say he would listen to me. I also didn't say I would do anything to change him. But deep in my heart I wish him well and pray that he will treat her well as well. Thats all.Originally posted by Devil1976:WHO you think you are to her bf? WHAT makes you THINK that he'll listen to you -
My regret is not having the chance to express my feelings.Originally posted by Devil1976:How could there be a TRUE REGRET when you never know? Who know what other 'regrets' might be in store for you if you'd made the 1st move? Not necessarily only the fact of being rejected which you claim that you don't fear... Life is always so UNPREDICTABLE....
There are regrets of the unknown as well.
One example is like I regretted not putting more time in my studies. But then how would I know that I will definitely get better results when I put in more effort?
Who knows? there might be other regrets if I put in more time in my studies. Like I might regret give up my social life.
But the regret is justifiable. -
If someone tells me HOW you should BEHAVE to be a 'GOOD' BF, and that suggestion is not unreasonable, I'll gladly accept it and change for the better, no problem.Originally posted by Devil1976:IF? But you're NOT...? How ya like it when someone starts telling you HOW you should BEHAVE to be a 'GOOD' BF? If she really needs help, you can go ahead and try helping her... I REPEAT, you're NOT GOD....
Since I'm not God and is still a human, I'll change for the better as well. I'm be happy and thank them for pointing out my mistake. -
If my presence had caused you to have any resentment towards me, I apologise to you. Because that is NEVER my motive.
I'm willing to back out and keep out from this forum.
I know you are a nice guy and have contributed a lot to this forum and a lot of people has benefitted from your advice. I've read a lot of your posts as well and I respect you as well. Continue the good work. -
Thanks for the request, but I do not wish to dwell on the past anymore. Nice to meet youOriginally posted by Doenitz:Dear Brother,
I truly understand how you feel as I am in this situation too.Actually,I think you are better off than me.You still can see her often.As for my case,her boyfriend does not alllow us to meet up at all... Check out one of my previous posts which deals with the same issue,
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=25172
What I'm doing now is keep options open while still trying to maintain contact with her through other means...
His parochial and possessive attitude just shows how insecure he is and how little trust he has in his girlfriend.
My opinion is that nice guys do not finish last.Well,at the end of the day,as the saying goes, "All's well that ends well." The bastards and the jerks will have their day,but the good guys will eventually have the last laugh.
AND they laugh the loudest too!
Keep the Faith!
Perhaps,we could discuss this in greater detail thru email? Mine is [email protected]
[/quote] The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. To dig for treasures shows not only impatience and greed, but lack of faith. Patience, patience, patience, is what the sea teaches. Patience and faith. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach - waiting for a gift from the sea.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh
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I have no resentment against you. Just wanna let you know that there can be too many doubts in this world but just as much regrets as you want life to have...Originally posted by Clave:If my presence had caused you to have any resentment towards me, I apologise to you. Because that is NEVER my motive.
I'm willing to back out and keep out from this forum.
I know you are a nice guy and have contributed a lot to this forum and a lot of people has benefitted from your advice. I've read a lot of your posts as well and I respect you as well. Continue the good work.
Some things are meant to be... Changing a course of something 'inevitable' does not neccessarily leads to a 'better world'.... Especially when your objective and concern started in kind but ended in ruins... Your worst regrets won't be the effort you've wasted but what you've done with your own hands....
You don't have to leave... I've no rights to ask you to leave too... (Not like I intend to in the 1st place...?)
Just wish that you'll learn to put a 'stop' to things when they've come to an end... It'll do you and the people around you alot more benefits than you can imagine... Take care...? ...... -
Actually I didn't mean to change anything...
I said before I wanted to let them try out the relationship as well. And I did say before if my interference will cause harm to their relationship, it will prick my conscience.
My main objective is to have a channel to release my emotions.
Maybe u misunderstood me, I haven done anything to change the things that have already happened and I don't intend to. I just wish to know her bf. That is all.
Her bf is a Christian as well, that is why I wish to know him. Because to us Christians, he is also a brother-in-Christ to me.
Take note, I want to know him out of a good motive, not to criticize him and to talk any bad things abt him.
My main motive is to wish that we can be friends to avoid any suspicion or jealousy between each other.
I'm disappointed with his gesture only. If he doesn't want to know me, its fine, I won't force things as well. Anything extra I do now will only create more misunderstanding. Therefore I will stop it as where it is now. I am a understaning guy as well, not unreasonable. -
Forget it, think you'll never get it.... -_-`~Originally posted by Clave:Actually I didn't mean to change anything...
I said before I wanted to let them try out the relationship as well. And I did say before if my interference will cause harm to their relationship, it will prick my conscience.
My main objective is to have a channel to release my emotions.
Maybe u misunderstood me, I haven done anything to change the things that have already happened and I don't intend to. I just wish to know her bf. That is all.
Her bf is a Christian as well, that is why I wish to know him. Because to us Christians, he is also a brother-in-Christ to me.
Take note, I want to know him out of a good motive, not to criticize him and to talk any bad things abt him.
My main motive is to wish that we can be friends to avoid any suspicion or jealousy between each other.
I'm disappointed with his gesture only. If he doesn't want to know me, its fine, I won't force things as well. Anything extra I do now will only create more misunderstanding. Therefore I will stop it as where it is now. I am a understaning guy as well, not unreasonable. -
Maybe I'll never get it. Our policies in life are different.Originally posted by Devil1976:Forget it, think you'll never get it.... -_-`~~
There are pros and cons in both approaches.
What I have done had already been done. Now I adopt a wait and see approach, I got better things to do now than to think about this... been a waste of time -
Hmm.... At least didn't waste my breath totally....?Originally posted by Clave:Maybe I'll never get it. Our policies in life are different.
There are pros and cons in both approaches.
What I have done had already been done. Now I adopt a wait and see approach, I got better things to do now than to think about this... been a waste of time
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You should keep in contact with her while keeping your options open.In that way,you will have a window of opportunity if she ever breaks up and also perhaps who knows,another gal may appear out of nowhere to steal your heart!
Keep the Faith!
Sorrow looks back,Worry looks around,Faith looks up. -Anon. -
She oredi has a bf now, so I dun think u shld really be thinking of her... And if anything does happen to her, show the normal level care and concern that a normal fren would give...
Keeping your options open is a real gd suggestion... After all, she isn't the only tree in the forest... Who noes, u might meet someone who is much more better than her!
Gd luck!!! -
Yes,you must try and forget that she is your crush and treat her as a sister perhaps? I am not so lucky compared to you as in you still can see her often.Her boyfriend don't even let us meet...Do treasure those times you spend with her.Originally posted by xavier1979:She oredi has a bf now, so I dun think u shld really be thinking of her... And if anything does happen to her, show the normal level care and concern that a normal fren would give...
Keeping your options open is a real gd suggestion... After all, she isn't the only tree in the forest... Who noes, u might meet someone who is much more better than her!
Gd luck!!!
We are all behind you!Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
Dale Carnegie -
Acutally I prefer not to see her. It is harder to forget someone if I keep seeing her. But I have no choice. Will still be seeing her for the next one and a half years. She is going for honours a well. Sigh...Originally posted by Doenitz:
I'll be keeping my options open. I'm beginning to feel that she might not be a girl who is suitable for me. Who knows, this might be a blessing in disguise for more beautiful things coming ahead
haha... life is like a box of chocolate. -
Originally posted by Clave:Acutally I prefer not to see her. It is harder to forget someone if I keep seeing her. But I have no choice. Will still be seeing her for the next one and a half years. She is going for honours a well. Sigh...
I'll be keeping my options open. I'm beginning to feel that she might not be a girl who is suitable for me. Who knows, this might be a blessing in disguise for more beautiful things coming ahead
haha... life is like a box of chocolate. I like that.... Oh.... The chocolates I mean.... "