Originally posted by freedoom11:
Hi people,
i have faced alot of pain as i grow up. I had grown up feeling disappointment with both myself and people. I had stopped opening my heart up for a long time, perhaps for.. 7 years..till i met a fren who i really treasure alot but recently, we break up as friends. I still have friends who are there for me. However, i can't bring myself to open up/warm up to new people and people who are nice to me.
I was bullied in primary one, then was kind of taken advantage of in secondary school as i haven't met the friends that could appreciate me as who i am,. When i am in jc, i had grew even more antisocial. I was kind of outcasted in jc and had developed a kind of " don't talk" with people anymore, whenever i am in a group. Fortunately, i had met frens in society club that i can count on during my jc.
My mother has a very strict and unloving influence on me. I had learnt to be unaffectionate with myself and people and it does not lead happiness. I am not a very friendly person. People say i look fierce.
I feel pain.. cos i have met new friends who are nice.. and i could really like to get to know them better but i always felt this distance with people. I, on the other hand is also tired to deal with " ren " /people but yet i want to get to know them.
hey i believe there r many out there who r like u..even in this forum...well its easier for ppl to express themselves thru the anonymosity of ur nick n thru online typing rather than face to face talkin, so well by tellin us ur feelings here is a start!
well havin a bad past does greatly affect ur current status but try to put that in the past, as hard as it may be...if u tink its hard to open up totally with ppl, then juz talk abt general stuff first...or for starters, express ur opinions on sgforums more often...then ull start to re-understand how to express ur feelings...or talk to more ppl online...its usually easier to chat online then face to face n therefore u can practise expressing urself first...learn to trust again...i believe there r many nice forumites in here(except mayb u shld keep ur hands off bar...ppl there can b kinda wierd at times)...btw doesnt mean u haf to open up to everyone u knw?it can b juz the few ppl who u tink r reali close to u...in fact if its juz 1 person u can trust, juz open up to him or her onli its enuf...
well it seems the higher educational lvl u climb, the harder it is to make more frens la, i oso feel tt way...i guess sometimes when u dun talk to ppl, they will start to ignore u as well...u culd try to iniate more conversations with them, or try to engage in the conversation as well when it comes to a topic of ur interest?it may b hard to start to talk after uve been keeping quiet for so long but make the effort ok?also since u joined a club where there r ppl who can b there for u then good for u!if u r more comfortable with them, hang out with them more n try to start talkin with them..
u say ur mum is strict n unloving?y isit that u wuld tink tt way?probably u might b mistaken of her intentions?n y do u say that u r unfriendly?from the way i see, u wuld love to haf alot of frens...mayb u juz havnt got the way on how to make frens...i dun suppose that is considered unfriendly...btw lookin fierce doesnt make u unfriendly...it has ntg to do with that...
probably ur tryin to hard to knw everyone...u knw not everyone is willing to open up to u as u urself cant open up to them as well rite?ur not a psychic, u cant knw everyone inside out...there r those who r normal frens, aquaintances n close frens...if they r ur close frens, try to ask them slowly abt their life...ask general topics first, then slowly get into deeper qns...
btw its a nice place here to express urself...come here often to comment abt anything...it helps=)mayb make some frens here...
