4years of relationship and said bye bye now...
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I truly don't understand my girlfriend... how can she break up with me who've been faithful to her for 4years. We known each other for 7years and yet now, she just said "this is my attitude that causes the problem" I was like "huh, dun tell me you dun have weakness mah" a relationship should just give and take. Appreciate his/her weakness... "although i like to check on her what she is doing but what i do is to prove that I do care for her... what did i do wrong to deserve this?
I think most of the guys are more faithful on relationship than girls.. -
another victim... ur sh1t just like mine..
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Oh my.Originally posted by thelesis:I truly don't understand my girlfriend... how can she break up with me who've been faithful to her for 4years. We known each other for 7years and yet now, she just said "this is my attitude that causes the problem" I was like "huh, dun tell me you dun have weakness mah" a relationship should just give and take. Appreciate his/her weakness... "although i like to check on her what she is doing but what i do is to prove that I do care for her... what did i do wrong to deserve this?
I think most of the guys are more faithful on relationship than girls..
The relationship could have been salvageable if you had given her a different response.
Yes, it is obvious your attitude is the cause of the breakup.
Your response to her should be "
"Dear, I'm sorry if my attitude upsets you. Please tell me what I can improve on." " I really want our relationship to work, so please give me a chance."
Your response about her having her own weakness.. probably was the last straw that broke the camel's back.
Better luck next time dude. -
If a girl said this to you, is already that she made up her mind... so whatever i do now, is pretty useless...Originally posted by jojobeach:Oh my.
The relationship could have been salvageable if you had given her a different response.
Yes, it is obvious your attitude is the cause of the breakup.
Your response to her should be "
"Dear, I'm sorry if my attitude upsets you. Please tell me what I can improve on." " I really want our relationship to work, so please give me a chance."
Your response about her having her own weakness.. probably was the last straw that broke the camel's back.
Better luck next time dude. -
and may i knw how old u and ur ex?
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Nothing in a girl's heart is definite.Originally posted by thelesis:If a girl said this to you, is already that she made up her mind... so whatever i do now, is pretty useless...
The question is, are you willing to try ?
Men have big egos, we know. And that is the problem.
What has your egos brought you so far ? -
No feelings means no feelings. Don't listen to jojobeach la. She is asking you to beg. It's worse. Let her go. Real men don't beg.Originally posted by thelesis:I truly don't understand my girlfriend... how can she break up with me who've been faithful to her for 4years. We known each other for 7years and yet now, she just said "this is my attitude that causes the problem" I was like "huh, dun tell me you dun have weakness mah" a relationship should just give and take. Appreciate his/her weakness... "although i like to check on her what she is doing but what i do is to prove that I do care for her... what did i do wrong to deserve this?
I think most of the guys are more faithful on relationship than girls..
Remember. you are the most important person in your life, not her.
No offense to you, jojobeach. But I don't think he should follow the words you prescribed to him. It's as good as him saying it's his fault. He did not sleep with other girls. And now that the girl has grown tired of him, it's time to let go. It's not going to be a healthy relationship.
doko -
Before this happened, did you and your gf ever talk about getting married? Since you have been together for so long, surely you'd at least talk about it right? If marriage has never crossed your mind after 4 years, it just means that there's something about this relationship that you're not sure about.Originally posted by thelesis:I truly don't understand my girlfriend... how can she break up with me who've been faithful to her for 4years. We known each other for 7years and yet now, she just said "this is my attitude that causes the problem" I was like "huh, dun tell me you dun have weakness mah" a relationship should just give and take. Appreciate his/her weakness... "although i like to check on her what she is doing but what i do is to prove that I do care for her... what did i do wrong to deserve this?
I think most of the guys are more faithful on relationship than girls..
That could be one of the reasons why your gf wants to break up.... may be she simply feels that there's no future for the relationship.
How was your relationship with your gf for the past 4 years? Smooth sailing or rocky? Do you fight a lot etc? -
I am not asking him to beg.Originally posted by dokono:No feelings means no feelings. Don't listen to jojobeach la. She is asking you to beg. It's worse. Let her go. Real men don't beg.
Remember. you are the most important person in your life, not her.
No offense to you, jojobeach. But I don't think he should follow the words you prescribed to him. It's as good as him saying it's his fault. He did not sleep with other girls. And now that the girl has grown tired of him, it's time to let go. It's not going to be a healthy relationship.
doko
If he wants the relationship back. He needs to back down and give in.
When a girl tells you "its your attitude problem" that causes the frustration. She is technically giving you a chance. Women needs to be coaxed, and yes, it can work.
Dokono, I know you're a guy, and I highly doubt you understand certain "hidden" language women use to express themselves.
But if you want to win a girl's heart, you need to understand her codex.
Ego doesn't get you much does it ? -
and that probably his attitude as wellOriginally posted by jojobeach:Nothing in a girl's heart is definite.
The question is, are you willing to try ?
Men have big egos, we know. And that is the problem.
What has your egos brought you so far ?
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Is your pride more important than the relationship ?
Is your pride worth the tears ?
Is your pride worth the heartache ?
Pride is not what defines a man to be a man. -
jojobeachOriginally posted by jojobeach:I am not asking him to beg.
If he wants the relationship back. He needs to back down and give in.
When a girl tells you "its your attitude problem" that causes the frustration. She is technically giving you a chance. Women needs to be coaxed, and yes, it can work.
Dokono, I know you're a guy, and I highly doubt you understand certain "hidden" language women use to express themselves.
But if you want to win a girl's heart, you need to understand her codex.
Ego doesn't get you much does it ?
You are missing the point. It's not about ego.
It's about she growing tired. It's game over, you understand? It's about the reality. She's just giving him an excuse to break up. Plus, she was the one who wanted to break up.
Suppose she takes him back and they get back together, she will still remember all his antics. She can't just erase everything off and reset, can she?
If a guy does the same thing to you, will you try to coax him as well to save the relationship? If a guy doesn't like you anymore, will you still like him ? Remember the guy is bent on leaving you.
doko -
Heh I think there's plenty more to your story than what you posted
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Well Doko,Originally posted by dokono:jojobeach
You are missing the point. It's not about ego.
It's about she growing tired. It's game over, you understand? It's about the reality. She's just giving him an excuse to break up. Plus, she was the one who wanted to break up.
Suppose she takes him back and they get back together, she will still remember all his antics. She can't just erase everything off and reset, can she?
doko
Based on what is posted here, I don't quite see why he should just give up.
There's more to this than meets the eye.
It is not about erasing or resetting, it's about seeing the will of the man to make improvements.
Women are optimists when it comes to this kind of stuff.
That is why ,
A woman hopes her man to change for the better.
A man hopes his woman will never change.
Such is the truth. -
""this is my attitude that causes the problem"Originally posted by thelesis:I truly don't understand my girlfriend... how can she break up with me who've been faithful to her for 4years. We known each other for 7years and yet now, she just said "this is my attitude that causes the problem" I was like "huh, dun tell me you dun have weakness mah" a relationship should just give and take. Appreciate his/her weakness... "although i like to check on her what she is doing but what i do is to prove that I do care for her... what did i do wrong to deserve this?
I think most of the guys are more faithful on relationship than girls..
Do you know why she said this? -
sorry about what happened to you, pal, but i say there are too many girls in this world to feel sad about the one who got out of your life.
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this is so sadly trueOriginally posted by jojobeach:A woman hopes her man to change for the better.
A man hopes his woman will never change.
Such is the truth.
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Doko,Originally posted by dokono:If a guy does the same thing to you, will you try to coax him as well to save the relationship? If a guy doesn't like you anymore, will you still like him ? Remember the guy is bent on leaving you.
doko
Men and women approach relationship differently.
You need to understand and accept the differences in the way we handle relationships.
It is perhaps true, men can be more ruthless, more heartless, very determined when it comes to breaking up.
But woman are not. Because we are not men.
Unless, she caught them cheating, caught them doing stuffs which are detrimental to trust.
Unless TS did some really sheettyy things to her. Like neglect, abuse, repeated lies.
Then yes, her heart will be hardened.
But attitude could means TS just likes to go logger head with her.
He could be too stubborn.
He could be too invasive into her privacy.
These, unless she complained several times and yet he refused to change.
Then perhaps she might call for a break.
However, as long as TS agrees to change.. it can be salvaged. -
As long as his attitude do not change.Originally posted by LifeIsWonderful:sorry about what happened to you, pal, but i say there are too many girls in this world to feel sad about the one who got out of your life.
He will be facing several more breakups.
When you hit a wall, you don't keep banging your head into it. -
I understand what you are driving at. It's like TS is putting his life around the girl and nothing else. But I would rather see the threadstarter see him making improvements to himself for himself than for the girl's sake. For what purpose does it serve to see a man lose his own soul for the sake of the girl or the relationship?Originally posted by jojobeach:Well Doko,
Based on what is posted here, I don't quite see why he should just give up.
There's more to this than meets the eye.
It is not about erasing or resetting, it's about seeing the will of the man to make improvements.
Women are optimists when it comes to this kind of stuff.
That is why ,
A woman hopes her man to change for the better.
A man hopes his woman will never change.
Such is the truth.
doko -
I feel really sad reading this thread.
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What kind of soul would he have without his other half ??Originally posted by dokono:I understand what you are driving at. It's like TS is putting his life around the girl and nothing else. But I would rather see the threadstarter see him making improvements to himself for himself than for the girl's sake. For what purpose does it serve to see a man lose his own soul for the sake of the girl or the relationship?
doko
To live a life so alone ?
If he so lives his life around the woman that he loves. What wrong is that for a man to do so ? -
Imagine living with someone whose heart is not with you? Imagine giving affection to someone who doesnt reciprocate? Would you rather be alone and seek another person than to be with the wrong person who doesnt want to be with you?Originally posted by jojobeach:What kind of soul would he have without his other half ??
To live a life so alone ?
If he so lives his life around the woman that he loves. What wrong is that for a man to do so ?
doko -
I get your drift doko.Originally posted by dokono:Imagine living with someone whose heart is not with you? Imagine giving affection to someone who doesnt reciprocate? Would you rather be alone and seek another person than to be with the wrong person who doesnt want to be with you?
doko
Has TS tried ?
Has he given his best shot to salvage this relationship?
If he has tried, he did his best. The girl is still unmoved by his effort.
Then yes, let it go. -
I am 25 and she is 23.. She came from KL to singapore to work just because of me. she don't have any friends or relatives here and i feels so touched by what she did for me. I believe she is not happy living in singapore and somehow, she begin to detest me... and now she having a good future working in a good company. She started to complain that we cannot get along. I don't know why.. it is so strange. It like started out of sudden (i really dun understand gals)..
Yesterday we had argument, she wanted to leave me once and all.. it really hurts me..
I am a faithful man to her. when i used to be in NS. i often take leave to go KL just to look for her, hide a love letter in her room when i going back to SG.
I bought rose bouquet at her school and wait for her school to end at KL..
i even rush to KL just to fix her computer for one day because she need to submit her FYP.
I just love her too much that infact, i went deep to her privacy.. now all she want to be friend with me.. i can't accept the fact that how come after 4years, she now then telling me she can't stand my attitude.. what is this? shouldn't relationship should give and take?