Need sincere opinions....
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hi guys/girls,
need your sincere opinions on whether i should patch up with my ex-gf for 8 long years.......it is complicated and hard for both of us,tried to sustain but in the end,it is over between us.although we have been apart for 6 mths,my mind is still with her everyday and night.i dunno what to do,been working hard and studying is all i am doing now,not interested in other girls also although been approached before.
last wk, i dunno what happen to me but after walking past a flower shop,i turn back and bought some lilies bundle with blue roses and delivered at her doorstep at ard 8pm with a letter attached (sorry my soft copy is at home)and recieved a sms from her ard 12pm,here goes:
'i recieved your flower.Thanx. I don know what to say. U are a gd boyfriend. I know I should learn to treasure what I have. Is my fualt,don blame yourself,i jus tired of leading such a lifestyle. Not your fualt,is me keep hurting you. i'm sorry,tat day not i don feel like seeing you.Is just i cant face you.I don hate you.I hate myself for wasting u so much time. Now i'm comfortable having a single life.Even now if i goes back to you,things surely won't be the same.Thanx for remembering 08 June. Take care.'
for girls out there, please enlighten me what are your thoughts if you are in her shoe, whether i should patch things up with her or just let her be and carry on our own daily lifes.
for guys, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?i know to move on but what if you are in my situation?how do you carry on if you are me?
need serious opinions coz i have no one true enough to understand me......
confused and sad -
" now I am comfortable having a single life".
This is the understatement.
What kind of life was she leading before the breakup?
Why was she tired of being in a relationship ?
Was the relationship a stiffling one ?
Was she the one who keeps giving and not receiving enough ?
Did she resented the relationship in anyway ?
If any of the above is positive.
Then I should say , the relationship is over.
"Even if we get back together, the relationship will never be the same"
This will be true.
She will no longer be the same girl you know.
Because now, she knows what she wants out of life.
And in your past relationship with her. She's not getting it from you.
Right now, she is seeking what she wants, and you are not part of the equation.
Sorry mate.
After so many years with her, did marriage come up in the negotiations, ever ???
NOTE" A woman can love you forever, but she will never wait for you forever. -
TS appears to be still studying, how old are both of u btwOriginally posted by jojobeach:" now I am comfortable having a single life".
This is the understatement.
What kind of life was she leading before the breakup?
Why was she tired of being in a relationship ?
Was the relationship a stiffling one ?
Was she the one who keeps giving and not receiving enough ?
Did she resented the relationship in anyway ?
If any of the above is positive.
Then I should say , the relationship is over.
"Even if we get back together, the relationship will never be the same"
This will be true.
She will no longer be the same girl you know.
Because now, she knows what she wants out of life.
And in your past relationship with her. She's not getting it from you.
Right now, she is seeking what she wants, and you are not part of the equation.
Sorry mate.
After so many years with her, did marriage come up in the negotiations, ever ???
NOTE" A woman can love you forever, but she will never wait for you forever.
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what's the reason for the break at first?
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working full time,studying part timeOriginally posted by de_middle:TS appears to be still studying, how old are both of u btw -
could it be 3rd party?
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really confusing statement: If a woman loves you, why can't she wait for you?Originally posted by jojobeach:" now I am comfortable having a single life".
This is the understatement.
What kind of life was she leading before the breakup?
Why was she tired of being in a relationship ?
Was the relationship a stiffling one ?
Was she the one who keeps giving and not receiving enough ?
Did she resented the relationship in anyway ?
If any of the above is positive.
Then I should say , the relationship is over.
"Even if we get back together, the relationship will never be the same"
This will be true.
She will no longer be the same girl you know.
Because now, she knows what she wants out of life.
And in your past relationship with her. She's not getting it from you.
Right now, she is seeking what she wants, and you are not part of the equation.
Sorry mate.
After so many years with her, did marriage come up in the negotiations, ever ???
NOTE" A woman can love you forever, but she will never wait for you forever.
If she can afford to leave you, does she love you?
Go figure
doko -
x2Originally posted by jojobeach:" now I am comfortable having a single life".
This is the understatement. -
NO, do not try to patch things up. She is over you.Originally posted by TerenceYYK:for girls out there, please enlighten me what are your thoughts if you are in her shoe, whether i should patch things up with her or just let her be and carry on our own daily lifes.
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Doko,Originally posted by dokono:really confusing statement: If a woman loves you, why can't she wait for you?
If she can afford to leave you, does she love you?
Go figure
doko
Would you make a woman who loves you, wait for you forever ?
Isn't that so cruel ?
A woman has a short shelf life. We all are aware of it.
A man can marry a woman 20 years younger, yet no one criticise him.
Can a woman ?
A man can have children past 60. Can a woman ?
Seriously, why would you make your woman wait for you for so many years ?
Does it really take more than 5 years to know each other ?
Does it really take more than 5 years to find out her true colors ?
Does it really take more than 5 years to decide if she is the one for you ?
I say 2 years is more than enough.
If you love her, would you make her wait so long ?
For a man to say, if you love me, you must wait for me.
That is obviously a very selfish statement. -
What is done is done. Recapping the past is useless.
The good news is that yr ex-gf tells u diplomaticly
The bad news is that yr ex-gf does not feels comfortable when she recieves those items from u. And anymore of those things will be an irritation and pain to her. Well, if u still have love for her, u should refrain in doing those things.
But however, look into the bright side, human can change, they also have possibility to change back and u also may change.
Well, now to put myself in yr shoe
Conditions applied
1) After a year
2) I still cannot refrain myself in doing those things
I will go to flower shop and buy flowers that does not imply love or romance. And sent it to her on the 7th of June instead of 8th of June.
The message that I want to tell her
"
For these past 12 months, I have been doing what I like... running. I even joined the XXXX marathon in Australia. The attached photo is me in that marathon with my grp of friends. XXXXXXXXX(Describe the marathon)XXXX
Just recently, XXXX(explain how u thought of 8th June)XXXX. Mermories that lingering in my head that makes me smile.
Hmmmm... how abt having a coffee talk one day??? Msg me if u are free
"
But the whole message should be written such as like a friend but not a lover... -
haha... however, my character is much stronger... probably, I wont resort to what u will be doing...
So, I will enjoy my youth days first... muahahaahahaaa.....
PARTY everyday... muahahaahaaa....
Enjoy my last few years b4 entering into graveyard....
muahahahaaa.....
u can private message me if u want.... we can party together... :p -
so assuming what you say is true, isn't it very selfish for her to leave him as well for her own sake?Originally posted by jojobeach:Doko,
Would you make a woman who loves you, wait for you forever ?
Isn't that so cruel ?
A woman has a short shelf life. We all are aware of it.
A man can marry a woman 20 years younger, yet no one criticise him.
Can a woman ?
A man can have children past 60. Can a woman ?
Seriously, why would you make your woman wait for you for so many years ?
Does it really take more than 5 years to know each other ?
Does it really take more than 5 years to find out her true colors ?
Does it really take more than 5 years to decide if she is the one for you ?
I say 2 years is more than enough.
If you love her, would you make her wait so long ?
For a man to say, if you love me, you must wait for me.
That is obviously a very selfish statement.
She's doing what's good for her not for the relationship.
doko -
When he wants her to wait for him for so many years. Was it for her sake or was it for his own sake ?Originally posted by dokono:so assuming what you say is true, isn't it very selfish for her to leave him as well for her own sake?
doko
Frankly, if a man can be selfish. Why not a woman ?
If the man didn't show considerations to the woman. The woman must show considerations for herself. -
She is saying. Goodbye.Originally posted by TerenceYYK:'i recieved your flower.Thanx. I don know what to say. U are a gd boyfriend. I know I should learn to treasure what I have. Is my fualt,don blame yourself,i jus tired of leading such a lifestyle. Not your fualt,is me keep hurting you. i'm sorry,tat day not i don feel like seeing you.Is just i cant face you.I don hate you.I hate myself for wasting u so much time. Now i'm comfortable having a single life.Even now if i goes back to you,things surely won't be the same.Thanx for remembering 08 June. Take care.' -
i agree too, TS maybe its time to reflect where went wrong....or maybe u deserve someone better.Originally posted by viciouskitty74:She is saying. Goodbye.
Time to stay single for awhile.........
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once d mirror breaks, no matter how you elephant glue that damn thing it still has cracks. so, even if the 2 off you, get back together, when you people quarrel,either of you will dig out ancient stuff to quarrel about, so basically, once it's over, it's over. and from her message, i'm sorry to say that she doesn't need someone with her now.
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hi jojobeach,Originally posted by jojobeach:When he wants her to wait for him for so many years. Was it for her sake or was it for his own sake ?
Frankly, if a man can be selfish. Why not a woman ?
If the man didn't show considerations to the woman. The woman must show considerations for herself.
from your comments,all i want to say is 'money is the root of all causes'.
To the rest,
thx for your comments,please keep them coming....
sometimes i really regret myself for starting a serious relationship at such a young age,should have end this long long ago when there is a 3rd party involve but dunno why i give her a chance.jus when everything is getting alright for my career and other stuffs,then this happen to me......what is next?what is next?i keep asking that myself......although depression has not set upon me yet, but i feel that it is close.....
really sad.... -
I would like to know everything about your relationship of 8 years.
Do share with us.
Cheers -
yes do elaborate more about ur 8 years of rship. Then maybe we cld figure out together what really went wrong
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Hi TerenceYKK,Originally posted by TerenceYYK:hi guys/girls,
need your sincere opinions on whether i should patch up with my ex-gf for 8 long years.......it is complicated and hard for both of us,tried to sustain but in the end,it is over between us.although we have been apart for 6 mths,my mind is still with her everyday and night.i dunno what to do,been working hard and studying is all i am doing now,not interested in other girls also although been approached before.
last wk, i dunno what happen to me but after walking past a flower shop,i turn back and bought some lilies bundle with blue roses and delivered at her doorstep at ard 8pm with a letter attached (sorry my soft copy is at home)and recieved a sms from her ard 12pm,here goes:
'i recieved your flower.Thanx. I don know what to say. U are a gd boyfriend. I know I should learn to treasure what I have. Is my fualt,don blame yourself,i jus tired of leading such a lifestyle. Not your fualt,is me keep hurting you. i'm sorry,tat day not i don feel like seeing you.Is just i cant face you.I don hate you.I hate myself for wasting u so much time. Now i'm comfortable having a single life.Even now if i goes back to you,things surely won't be the same.Thanx for remembering 08 June. Take care.'
for girls out there, please enlighten me what are your thoughts if you are in her shoe, whether i should patch things up with her or just let her be and carry on our own daily lifes.
for guys, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?i know to move on but what if you are in my situation?how do you carry on if you are me?
need serious opinions coz i have no one true enough to understand me......
confused and sad
Maybe at this point of time, it'll be wiser to move on. The lady has spoken. Me thinks when a woman says that to her boyfriend, she's trying to let him down easy. Leave her alone for a while, if she comes back, she comes. If she doesn't, then so be it. Must've been difficult letting 8 years worth of emotional bonds go.
Females never/refuse to leave when they feel positively engaged in a relationship. Maybe something happened along the way? I had the misfortune of being sympathetic towards a friend when his relationship of 7 years ended. A year later when he was still moaning about it, he revealed she left because he cheated on her. Such is life.
However you choose to act, just remember that it's almost never worth it if all you want is for her to come back while you try recapturing the past. More than anything the present is already impossible, always already gone as soon as we begin to look for it. Take it easy. When necessary, just switch off the lights, shut the windows and let it out when no one's looking.
Take care. -
If I am in yr shoe, I wont regret for starting a serious relationship at such a young age.Originally posted by TerenceYYK:sometimes i really regret myself for starting a serious relationship at such a young age,should have end this long long ago when there is a 3rd party involve but dunno why i give her a chance.jus when everything is getting alright for my career and other stuffs,then this happen to me......what is next?what is next?i keep asking that myself......although depression has not set upon me yet, but i feel that it is close.....
I would rather treasure those mermories than to forget abt it ... -
If i were to answer i would instead post questions as my answers.Originally posted by TerenceYYK:hi guys/girls,
need your sincere opinions on whether i should patch up with my ex-gf for 8 long years.......it is complicated and hard for both of us,tried to sustain but in the end,it is over between us.although we have been apart for 6 mths,my mind is still with her everyday and night.i dunno what to do,been working hard and studying is all i am doing now,not interested in other girls also although been approached before.
last wk, i dunno what happen to me but after walking past a flower shop,i turn back and bought some lilies bundle with blue roses and delivered at her doorstep at ard 8pm with a letter attached (sorry my soft copy is at home)and recieved a sms from her ard 12pm,here goes:
'i recieved your flower.Thanx. I don know what to say. U are a gd boyfriend. I know I should learn to treasure what I have. Is my fualt,don blame yourself,i jus tired of leading such a lifestyle. Not your fualt,is me keep hurting you. i'm sorry,tat day not i don feel like seeing you.Is just i cant face you.I don hate you.I hate myself for wasting u so much time. Now i'm comfortable having a single life.Even now if i goes back to you,things surely won't be the same.Thanx for remembering 08 June. Take care.'
for girls out there, please enlighten me what are your thoughts if you are in her shoe, whether i should patch things up with her or just let her be and carry on our own daily lifes.
for guys, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?i know to move on but what if you are in my situation?how do you carry on if you are me?
need serious opinions coz i have no one true enough to understand me......
confused and sad
1.Lets just say this, follow your heart. If u want her go all out for her and dont give up amid all obstacles. Im sure you know yourself that your have a very good chance given that u have spent 8 yrs with her.
2.If you think you can find someone that knows you better or you deserve someone better, den move on.
(Rmb, if you wan her... go 4 her)
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Get over with it...
Move on... -
What has money got to do with her change of heart ?Originally posted by TerenceYYK:hi jojobeach,
from your comments,all i want to say is 'money is the root of all causes'.
A habit of man, is that they go into denial mode when things gone awry.
And such are times when they refused to see the truth, yet attribute the failures to something else.
How long ago was the 3rd party incident ?