Need sincere opinions....
-
jojobeans,Originally posted by jojobeach:What has money got to do with her change of heart ?
A habit of man, is that they go into denial mode when things gone awry.
And such are times when they refused to see the truth, yet attribute the failures to something else.
How long ago was the 3rd party incident ?
it has nothing to do with her change of heart,what i written previously is on what u commented,i wont explain further and leave it for you to think about it... -
wow...i dont think you need to know everything of his r/s because the sms had stated clearly that she is contented at the moment being single.. (congrats on your new appt though..the other thread too long liao..Originally posted by Yunhaier:
I would like to know everything about your relationship of 8 years.
Do share with us.
Cheers
)
As a guy point of view, i think its better to distant yourself from her for a while. She is happy with her life, and if u cant let go and decides to pursue her, i think it will have reverse effect.
Sorry to say, but 8 years being in r/s is pretty long if you dont get married. There are some, but rare number of cases where a r/s can last very long till they get married. It is very important to add lots of sparks continuously in r/s to sustain and keep it burning...
i wish you all the best for your next r/s. I understand how u feel, to break from a 8year old r/s but not completely though. My longest was only half of yours, and then, i was already quite upset.
cheer up dude! *pat pat* -
She has said that she's happy with her single status. Accept it, but do not see this as a hint that u should give up. Continue to shower her with care, love and concern, and let her know that u will always be there for her no matter what. Tell her that u are not forcing her to accept u again straightaway, but u hope that she will give u a chance again one day.Originally posted by TerenceYYK:hi guys/girls,
need your sincere opinions on whether i should patch up with my ex-gf for 8 long years.......it is complicated and hard for both of us,tried to sustain but in the end,it is over between us.although we have been apart for 6 mths,my mind is still with her everyday and night.i dunno what to do,been working hard and studying is all i am doing now,not interested in other girls also although been approached before.
last wk, i dunno what happen to me but after walking past a flower shop,i turn back and bought some lilies bundle with blue roses and delivered at her doorstep at ard 8pm with a letter attached (sorry my soft copy is at home)and recieved a sms from her ard 12pm,here goes:
'i recieved your flower.Thanx. I don know what to say. U are a gd boyfriend. I know I should learn to treasure what I have. Is my fualt,don blame yourself,i jus tired of leading such a lifestyle. Not your fualt,is me keep hurting you. i'm sorry,tat day not i don feel like seeing you.Is just i cant face you.I don hate you.I hate myself for wasting u so much time. Now i'm comfortable having a single life.Even now if i goes back to you,things surely won't be the same.Thanx for remembering 08 June. Take care.'
for girls out there, please enlighten me what are your thoughts if you are in her shoe, whether i should patch things up with her or just let her be and carry on our own daily lifes.
for guys, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?i know to move on but what if you are in my situation?how do you carry on if you are me?
need serious opinions coz i have no one true enough to understand me......
confused and sad -
apologize, Mod and all.Originally posted by Yunhaier: I would like to know everything about your relationship of 8 years.
Do share with us.
Cheers
but will be keeping this experience for the rest of my life. -
When I read that, I get this feeling of an underlying meaning.Originally posted by TerenceYYK:hi guys/girls,
need your sincere opinions on whether i should patch up with my ex-gf for 8 long years.......it is complicated and hard for both of us,tried to sustain but in the end,it is over between us.although we have been apart for 6 mths,my mind is still with her everyday and night.i dunno what to do,been working hard and studying is all i am doing now,not interested in other girls also although been approached before.
last wk, i dunno what happen to me but after walking past a flower shop,i turn back and bought some lilies bundle with blue roses and delivered at her doorstep at ard 8pm with a letter attached (sorry my soft copy is at home)and recieved a sms from her ard 12pm,here goes:
'i recieved your flower.Thanx. I don know what to say. U are a gd boyfriend. I know I should learn to treasure what I have. Is my fualt,don blame yourself,i jus tired of leading such a lifestyle. Not your fualt,is me keep hurting you. i'm sorry,tat day not i don feel like seeing you.Is just i cant face you.I don hate you.I hate myself for wasting u so much time. Now i'm comfortable having a single life.Even now if i goes back to you,things surely won't be the same.Thanx for remembering 08 June. Take care.'
for girls out there, please enlighten me what are your thoughts if you are in her shoe, whether i should patch things up with her or just let her be and carry on our own daily lifes.
for guys, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?i know to move on but what if you are in my situation?how do you carry on if you are me?
need serious opinions coz i have no one true enough to understand me......
confused and sad
"Now i'm comfortable having a single life."
This line seem to indicate a certain unhappiness with the relationship.
Is it a third party? There must be a large driving force behind her, that propels her to sever eight years of emotional bond.
If you wish for a patch, you need to destroy this driving force behind her decision. And judging from what I've quoted, she seemed to have made up her mind.
Regardless of your decision, remember to cherish yourself.
-
OK. Since you are so mysterious about it.Originally posted by TerenceYYK:jojobeans,
it has nothing to do with her change of heart,what i written previously is on what u commented,i wont explain further and leave it for you to think about it...
I can only guess... Gambling.
Do you intent to repeat this episode again ?
The problem will not go away, even in the next relationship with another woman, if you don't nip the problem at it's bud. -
Originally posted by TerenceYYK:apologize, Mod and all.
but will be keeping this experience for the rest of my life. No worries, I will respect your decision.
P.S: Welcome to AA - you can call me Yun.
Cheers -
respect her decision ba.
if u are meant to be together, u will. -
lol... I dont think it is gambling...Originally posted by jojobeach:OK. Since you are so mysterious about it.
I can only guess... Gambling.
Do you intent to repeat this episode again ?
The problem will not go away, even in the next relationship with another woman, if you don't nip the problem at it's bud.
TS is full time working, part time studying + girl friend .... still have time and energy to go and gamble ??? ? Unlikely... very unlikely ...
Anyway, for TS to tell the full story is also very difficult... imagine 8 yrs of relationship leh ... 10 pages also not enough to sumarise... I believe TS is not looking for another relationship but he is trying to widen up his mind in looking for more options by posting in this forum. -
Move on dude. Its obvious she has out grown the relationship. she is not going to look back.Originally posted by TerenceYYK:hi guys/girls,
need your sincere opinions on whether i should patch up with my ex-gf for 8 long years.......it is complicated and hard for both of us,tried to sustain but in the end,it is over between us.although we have been apart for 6 mths,my mind is still with her everyday and night.i dunno what to do,been working hard and studying is all i am doing now,not interested in other girls also although been approached before.
last wk, i dunno what happen to me but after walking past a flower shop,i turn back and bought some lilies bundle with blue roses and delivered at her doorstep at ard 8pm with a letter attached (sorry my soft copy is at home)and recieved a sms from her ard 12pm,here goes:
'i recieved your flower.Thanx. I don know what to say. U are a gd boyfriend. I know I should learn to treasure what I have. Is my fualt,don blame yourself,i jus tired of leading such a lifestyle. Not your fualt,is me keep hurting you. i'm sorry,tat day not i don feel like seeing you.Is just i cant face you.I don hate you.I hate myself for wasting u so much time. Now i'm comfortable having a single life.Even now if i goes back to you,things surely won't be the same.Thanx for remembering 08 June. Take care.'
for girls out there, please enlighten me what are your thoughts if you are in her shoe, whether i should patch things up with her or just let her be and carry on our own daily lifes.
for guys, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?i know to move on but what if you are in my situation?how do you carry on if you are me?
need serious opinions coz i have no one true enough to understand me......
confused and sad
Look at the bright side u get to move on to begin a new life with more mature perspective of relationship. -
Its Over.
Move on in life. -
Bro from the above statement only shows a few things.Originally posted by TerenceYYK:hi guys/girls,
need your sincere opinions on whether i should patch up with my ex-gf for 8 long years.......it is complicated and hard for both of us,tried to sustain but in the end,it is over between us.although we have been apart for 6 mths,my mind is still with her everyday and night.i dunno what to do,been working hard and studying is all i am doing now,not interested in other girls also although been approached before.
last wk, i dunno what happen to me but after walking past a flower shop,i turn back and bought some lilies bundle with blue roses and delivered at her doorstep at ard 8pm with a letter attached (sorry my soft copy is at home)and recieved a sms from her ard 12pm,here goes:
'i recieved your flower.Thanx. I don know what to say. U are a gd boyfriend. I know I should learn to treasure what I have. Is my fualt,don blame yourself,i jus tired of leading such a lifestyle. Not your fualt,is me keep hurting you. i'm sorry,tat day not i don feel like seeing you.Is just i cant face you.I don hate you.I hate myself for wasting u so much time. Now i'm comfortable having a single life.Even now if i goes back to you,things surely won't be the same.Thanx for remembering 08 June. Take care.'
for girls out there, please enlighten me what are your thoughts if you are in her shoe, whether i should patch things up with her or just let her be and carry on our own daily lifes.
for guys, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?i know to move on but what if you are in my situation?how do you carry on if you are me?
need serious opinions coz i have no one true enough to understand me......
confused and sad
1) The gal no longer loves you, she rather go single than be with you.
( THIS IS A FACT! NO DREAMS NO BULLSHIT! SINK IT IN!) This is not your fault and is her choice which she made very clearly.
2) My advice do not look back at the 8 years or it will kill you. I am not sure what you have done but you cannot change the past so why keep thinking of it?
3) You keep saying you love her then let her go. Keeping a girl who does not love you will not do you any good as her heart is no longer with you. -
my heart aches for you...Originally posted by TerenceYYK:hi guys/girls,
need your sincere opinions on whether i should patch up with my ex-gf for 8 long years.......it is complicated and hard for both of us,tried to sustain but in the end,it is over between us.although we have been apart for 6 mths,my mind is still with her everyday and night.i dunno what to do,been working hard and studying is all i am doing now,not interested in other girls also although been approached before.
last wk, i dunno what happen to me but after walking past a flower shop,i turn back and bought some lilies bundle with blue roses and delivered at her doorstep at ard 8pm with a letter attached (sorry my soft copy is at home)and recieved a sms from her ard 12pm,here goes:
'i recieved your flower.Thanx. I don know what to say. U are a gd boyfriend. I know I should learn to treasure what I have. Is my fualt,don blame yourself,i jus tired of leading such a lifestyle. Not your fualt,is me keep hurting you. i'm sorry,tat day not i don feel like seeing you.Is just i cant face you.I don hate you.I hate myself for wasting u so much time. Now i'm comfortable having a single life.Even now if i goes back to you,things surely won't be the same.Thanx for remembering 08 June. Take care.'
for girls out there, please enlighten me what are your thoughts if you are in her shoe, whether i should patch things up with her or just let her be and carry on our own daily lifes.
for guys, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?i know to move on but what if you are in my situation?how do you carry on if you are me?
need serious opinions coz i have no one true enough to understand me......
confused and sad
but move on bah, you'll have to forget this girl i guess. seems like she's happy to be single now... -
She is over you. It is over.Originally posted by TerenceYYK:hi guys/girls,
need your sincere opinions on whether i should patch up with my ex-gf for 8 long years.......it is complicated and hard for both of us,tried to sustain but in the end,it is over between us.although we have been apart for 6 mths,my mind is still with her everyday and night.i dunno what to do,been working hard and studying is all i am doing now,not interested in other girls also although been approached before.
last wk, i dunno what happen to me but after walking past a flower shop,i turn back and bought some lilies bundle with blue roses and delivered at her doorstep at ard 8pm with a letter attached (sorry my soft copy is at home)and recieved a sms from her ard 12pm,here goes:
'i recieved your flower.Thanx. I don know what to say. U are a gd boyfriend. I know I should learn to treasure what I have. Is my fualt,don blame yourself,i jus tired of leading such a lifestyle. Not your fualt,is me keep hurting you. i'm sorry,tat day not i don feel like seeing you.Is just i cant face you.I don hate you.I hate myself for wasting u so much time. Now i'm comfortable having a single life.Even now if i goes back to you,things surely won't be the same.Thanx for remembering 08 June. Take care.'
for girls out there, please enlighten me what are your thoughts if you are in her shoe, whether i should patch things up with her or just let her be and carry on our own daily lifes.
for guys, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?i know to move on but what if you are in my situation?how do you carry on if you are me?
need serious opinions coz i have no one true enough to understand me......
confused and sad
It is time to move on, dude.
And yes, i agree with many here. 8 years is a long time. If a relationship still hasnt proceeded to the next stage, chances are, it is likely to survive. -
hi guys/girls,
thx for your serious comments and suggestions,
honestly, i am feeling better now rather than previous few months.Yes, it is good to proceed the r/s to the next stage,but it takes both hands to clap on this and i did make suggestions and plans on this before but it just din work out.....reflecting on why, partly i am to blame coz i don put enough time in our relationship which i deeply regret,sometimes blaming on her also because she tend to view friendship to be more important than r/s. and a lot of her close friends are divorce also......which may also influence her thinking.
all in all, i feel she doesn't have any feelings for me already and she's right to say that even if i manage to patch things up,our past will still hunt us. I will leave to fate and God to decide on this for now......
sad but moving on.... -
Hey, I think she was pretty clear in the sms.Originally posted by TerenceYYK:hi guys/girls,
need your sincere opinions on whether i should patch up with my ex-gf for 8 long years.......it is complicated and hard for both of us,tried to sustain but in the end,it is over between us.although we have been apart for 6 mths,my mind is still with her everyday and night.i dunno what to do,been working hard and studying is all i am doing now,not interested in other girls also although been approached before.
last wk, i dunno what happen to me but after walking past a flower shop,i turn back and bought some lilies bundle with blue roses and delivered at her doorstep at ard 8pm with a letter attached (sorry my soft copy is at home)and recieved a sms from her ard 12pm,here goes:
'i recieved your flower.Thanx. I don know what to say. U are a gd boyfriend. I know I should learn to treasure what I have. Is my fualt,don blame yourself,i jus tired of leading such a lifestyle. Not your fualt,is me keep hurting you. i'm sorry,tat day not i don feel like seeing you.Is just i cant face you.I don hate you.I hate myself for wasting u so much time. Now i'm comfortable having a single life.Even now if i goes back to you,things surely won't be the same.Thanx for remembering 08 June. Take care.'
for girls out there, please enlighten me what are your thoughts if you are in her shoe, whether i should patch things up with her or just let her be and carry on our own daily lifes.
for guys, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?i know to move on but what if you are in my situation?how do you carry on if you are me?
need serious opinions coz i have no one true enough to understand me......
confused and sad
she does not wanna patch back.
pls give up. -
Gambadei!!!Originally posted by TerenceYYK:hi guys/girls,
thx for your serious comments and suggestions,
honestly, i am feeling better now rather than previous few months.Yes, it is good to proceed the r/s to the next stage,but it takes both hands to clap on this and i did make suggestions and plans on this before but it just din work out.....reflecting on why, partly i am to blame coz i don put enough time in our relationship which i deeply regret,sometimes blaming on her also because she tend to view friendship to be more important than r/s. and a lot of her close friends are divorce also......which may also influence her thinking.
all in all, i feel she doesn't have any feelings for me already and she's right to say that even if i manage to patch things up,our past will still hunt us. I will leave to fate and God to decide on this for now......
sad but moving on....
remember your friends whenever you feel down and like you can't go on!
it really helps! -
Move on with your life.Originally posted by TerenceYYK:hi guys/girls,
need your sincere opinions on whether i should patch up with my ex-gf for 8 long years.......it is complicated and hard for both of us,tried to sustain but in the end,it is over between us.although we have been apart for 6 mths,my mind is still with her everyday and night.i dunno what to do,been working hard and studying is all i am doing now,not interested in other girls also although been approached before.
last wk, i dunno what happen to me but after walking past a flower shop,i turn back and bought some lilies bundle with blue roses and delivered at her doorstep at ard 8pm with a letter attached (sorry my soft copy is at home)and recieved a sms from her ard 12pm,here goes:
'i recieved your flower.Thanx. I don know what to say. U are a gd boyfriend. I know I should learn to treasure what I have. Is my fualt,don blame yourself,i jus tired of leading such a lifestyle. Not your fualt,is me keep hurting you. i'm sorry,tat day not i don feel like seeing you.Is just i cant face you.I don hate you.I hate myself for wasting u so much time. Now i'm comfortable having a single life.Even now if i goes back to you,things surely won't be the same.Thanx for remembering 08 June. Take care.'
for girls out there, please enlighten me what are your thoughts if you are in her shoe, whether i should patch things up with her or just let her be and carry on our own daily lifes.
for guys, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?i know to move on but what if you are in my situation?how do you carry on if you are me?
need serious opinions coz i have no one true enough to understand me......
confused and sad -
I don't think this is a right advice. Give it up completely for the sake of his own feelings also. In that way the man can move on without emotionally being tie down. Clean break so he can open his heart to someone else who is more worthy of his feelings and attention.Originally posted by nanren4ever:She has said that she's happy with her single status. Accept it, but do not see this as a hint that u should give up. Continue to shower her with care, love and concern, and let her know that u will always be there for her no matter what. Tell her that u are not forcing her to accept u again straightaway, but u hope that she will give u a chance again one day. -
TerenceOriginally posted by TerenceYYK:hi guys/girls,
thx for your serious comments and suggestions,
honestly, i am feeling better now rather than previous few months.Yes, it is good to proceed the r/s to the next stage,but it takes both hands to clap on this and i did make suggestions and plans on this before but it just din work out.....reflecting on why, partly i am to blame coz i don put enough time in our relationship which i deeply regret,sometimes blaming on her also because she tend to view friendship to be more important than r/s. and a lot of her close friends are divorce also......which may also influence her thinking.
all in all, i feel she doesn't have any feelings for me already and she's right to say that even if i manage to patch things up,our past will still hunt us. I will leave to fate and God to decide on this for now......
sad but moving on....
this is just an observation it does not happen to everybody but it is a common and happen when a relationship that start too young at some point that individual are going to growth and may decided to move seperate direction. As a young couple it is normal to look forward to see what kind of life they want and it maybe just a crossroad that people chose.
Right now it hurt emotionaly but after 20 years you look back it may not be so bad. It is a growing process. -
the only way out is to transform your mind and that is so difficult... so what you can do is change your behavior and that is easier...Originally posted by TerenceYYK:hi guys/girls,
need your sincere opinions on whether i should patch up with my ex-gf for 8 long years.......it is complicated and hard for both of us,tried to sustain but in the end,it is over between us.although we have been apart for 6 mths,my mind is still with her everyday and night.i dunno what to do,been working hard and studying is all i am doing now,not interested in other girls also although been approached before.
last wk, i dunno what happen to me but after walking past a flower shop,i turn back and bought some lilies bundle with blue roses and delivered at her doorstep at ard 8pm with a letter attached (sorry my soft copy is at home)and recieved a sms from her ard 12pm,here goes:
'i recieved your flower.Thanx. I don know what to say. U are a gd boyfriend. I know I should learn to treasure what I have. Is my fualt,don blame yourself,i jus tired of leading such a lifestyle. Not your fualt,is me keep hurting you. i'm sorry,tat day not i don feel like seeing you.Is just i cant face you.I don hate you.I hate myself for wasting u so much time. Now i'm comfortable having a single life.Even now if i goes back to you,things surely won't be the same.Thanx for remembering 08 June. Take care.'
for girls out there, please enlighten me what are your thoughts if you are in her shoe, whether i should patch things up with her or just let her be and carry on our own daily lifes.
for guys, if you are in my shoe, what will you do?i know to move on but what if you are in my situation?how do you carry on if you are me?
need serious opinions coz i have no one true enough to understand me......
confused and sad
even if you do not want to or feel like it or enjoy it... go out with other people (family, old friends, colleagues) and make lots of new friends... -
hmm ..... I feel that its a very subjective issue. I believe it all depends on how we open ourselves up to our partners.Originally posted by jojobeach:Seriously, why would you make your woman wait for you for so many years ?
Does it really take more than 5 years to know each other ?
Does it really take more than 5 years to find out her true colors ?
Does it really take more than 5 years to decide if she is the one for you ?
I say 2 years is more than enough. -
Quote from your Ex;
'i recieved your flower.Thanx. I don know what to say. U are a gd boyfriend. I know I should learn to treasure what I have. Is my fualt,don blame yourself,i jus tired of leading such a lifestyle. Not your fualt,is me keep hurting you. i'm sorry,tat day not i don feel like seeing you.Is just i cant face you.I don hate you.I hate myself for wasting u so much time. Now i'm comfortable having a single life.Even now if i goes back to you,things surely won't be the same.Thanx for remembering 08 June. Take care.'
The only words i can make out from there is:
Its Over, Please Let Me Move On -
it's funny how you misread her nameOriginally posted by TerenceYYK:jojobeans,
it has nothing to do with her change of heart,what i written previously is on what u commented,i wont explain further and leave it for you to think about it...
doko -
Never Mix logic with Emotions...Originally posted by dokono:really confusing statement: If a woman loves you, why can't she wait for you?
If she can afford to leave you, does she love you?
Go figure
doko
Irony will always result in it.