My ex girlfriend in peril
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My ex girlfriend is having a really bad time that I really cannot imagine sia...
She's having trouble with her boss at work. Her grandmother passed away 3 months ago. She quarrels incessantly with her current boyfriend. Her family's been in financial instability for half a year. To top it all up her father is in the last terminal stage of stomach cancer(adenocarcinoma) with a month left.
She calls me every other day (long distance to Australia) to tell me all about how she feels. I really REALLY pity her but I can't think of really good advice/condolences to tell her. I feel really bad everytime she calls me and pours her heart to me only to get the occasional "orh", " ok" and "sorry" etc...how sia... -
okok
tell her to do this
1) tahan the boss (to stable the income)
2) break up wif bf ( to concentrate on work more)
3) accompany dad more on his last days (i'm sure the boss understands)
that's it.
and rmb to tell her that you will always be there to lend a listening ear -
jus listen to her whines that will do..
show some concern and such.. thats enough.
u can't solve her prob, but u can give some advices which helps -
Guess all she needs is a listening ear which her boyfriend can't provide.
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Do you still have feelings for her?Originally posted by CheHyeon:My ex girlfriend is having a really bad time that I really cannot imagine sia...
She's having trouble with her boss at work. Her grandmother passed away 3 months ago. She quarrels incessantly with her current boyfriend. Her family's been in financial instability for half a year. To top it all up her father is in the last terminal stage of stomach cancer(adenocarcinoma) with a month left.
She calls me every other day (long distance to Australia) to tell me all about how she feels. I really REALLY pity her but I can't think of really good advice/condolences to tell her. I feel really bad everytime she calls me and pours her heart to me only to get the occasional "orh", " ok" and "sorry" etc...how sia...
Long distance calls to an ex-boyfriend, to me, would mean a whole series of quarrels. You can of course offer your listening ear, but remember where you stand. Don't get distracted, and end up messing up her life even more.
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I guess you can say I feel really useless and unable to do anything for her(wu zhu). Although I really don't like her anymore I still feel that she's a good friend and I should do what a friend should do to another. Is listening to her really enough? Can there be anymore outward expressions of concerns?
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since you can't do anythingOriginally posted by CheHyeon:I guess you can say I feel really useless and unable to do anything for her(wu zhu). Although I really don't like her anymore I still feel that she's a good friend and I should do what a friend should do to another. Is listening to her really enough? Can there be anymore outward expressions of concerns?
then just remain a ear
when everything's over she'll be full of gratitude. -
Sometimes silence is golden. I believe what she needs more, isn't solution. She can probably think of something herself.Originally posted by CheHyeon:I guess you can say I feel really useless and unable to do anything for her(wu zhu). Although I really don't like her anymore I still feel that she's a good friend and I should do what a friend should do to another. Is listening to her really enough? Can there be anymore outward expressions of concerns?
What she needs, I think, is a listening ear. Someone to pour out her soul.
Any outward expression of concern can easily be mistaken by her. She is at her weakest, do you want to add on to her troubles by possibly presenting an emotional turmoil?
Listen, and stay your distance. That's what friends do, anyway. -
ur 2nd sentence copy meOriginally posted by binarynwitz:Sometimes silence is golden. I believe what she needs more, isn't solution. She can probably think of something herself.
What she needs, I think, is a listening ear. Someone to pour out her soul.
Any outward expression of concern can easily be mistaken by her. She is at her weakest, do you want to add on to her troubles by possibly presenting an emotional turmoil?
Listen, and stay your distance. That's what friends do, anyway.
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Really awesome advice guys. Thanks. It makes me feel better and more confident when I talk to her now. I'll try my best!!
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anytimeOriginally posted by CheHyeon:Really awesome advice guys. Thanks. It makes me feel better and more confident when I talk to her now. I'll try my best!!
and 5 mins delay sucks huh? -
I didn't even see your reply.Originally posted by gigabyte14:ur 2nd sentence copy me -
Originally posted by binarynwitz:I didn't even see your reply.
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oversea call so expensive,
ask her use skype lah -
Nah it's alright. Btw I'm still really clueless about dishing advice and all these relationships thingos.Originally posted by gigabyte14:anytime
and 5 mins delay sucks huh? -
well, we're guysOriginally posted by CheHyeon:Nah it's alright. Btw I'm still really clueless about dishing advice and all these relationships thingos. -
She's from a lower class family that can bearly afford a proper TV let alone a computer and how to use one.Originally posted by BatMan
:oversea call so expensive,
ask her use skype lah
That's why I really pity her and all. -
1) find another job with higher salary...Originally posted by gigabyte14:okok
tell her to do this
1) tahan the boss (to stable the income)
2) break up wif bf ( to concentrate on work more)
3) accompany dad more on his last days (i'm sure the boss understands)
that's it.
and rmb to tell her that you will always be there to lend a listening ear
3) she is already having troubles with his boss right? -
you can call her instead of waiting for her call... she will be more happy to recieve your call...
also, she may feel that she is disturbing you by calling you all the time... and if you call her, she wont feel that way...
encourage her to stay strong and not give up... -
*TS phone rings*Originally posted by popikachu:you can call her instead of waiting for her call... she will be more happy to recieve your call...
also, she may feel that she is disturbing you by calling you all the time... and if you call her, she wont feel that way...
encourage her to stay strong and not give up...
TS: hello, ya, eh i call u la. bye bye.
call her back lo.
or TS making use of his free incoming call??
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and now's the chance to get back with her again.
but then who betrayed who first when break? -
two reson she call you..
1,
she got no1 to talk to, and u once her closer 1..
and this is the best timing to chase her back, if this is wat u want..
2,
she treat u as a sparetyre, only call whenver she need help.. -
easier said than done MODOriginally posted by popikachu:1) find another job with higher salary...
3) she is already having troubles with his boss right? -
U ARE NO LONGER THE BF. U ARE JUST A FRIEND. REMEMBER THAT. I WAS IN SUCH A STAGE, THOUGH SHE WASN'T IN AS BAD A SHAPE....BUT ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY...MEN AREN'T THE ONLY CUNNING ONES THESE DAYS
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wow i sense the angerOriginally posted by SpecOps87:U ARE NO LONGER THE BF. U ARE JUST A FRIEND. REMEMBER THAT. I WAS IN SUCH A STAGE, THOUGH SHE WASN'T IN AS BAD A SHAPE....BUT ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY...MEN AREN'T THE ONLY CUNNING ONES THESE DAYS