Don't condemn people in AA
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I smell a reformed AA coming soon?
Cheers -
In Just one sentenceOriginally posted by AndrewPKYap:There are no perfect people in this world and that should be obvious to everyone except for those that think themselves perfect.
There are no perfect lifestyles in this world and that should be obvious to everyone except the those that think themselves living the perfect lifestyle.
Just because you prefer to live life in the "best possible manner" according to your standards, does not mean that others share your sentiments.
Some people prefer to live a happy life rather than a perfect life.
Some people prefer to live a happy life rather than a disciplined life.
Some people prefer to live a happy life rather than a careful life.
If living a perfect, disciplined and careful life makes you unhappy, do you think you would want to? Live a perfect, disciplined and careful life? Maybe, if you are a religious fanatic that hopes to get to heaven.
What makes one person happy does not necessarily makes another happy.
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If you are not happy with someone's behavior, you can condemn the person or you can condemn the action.
If you condemn the person and classify him as "Evil" or "Bad" you are behaving like a "GOD". That is to say, you presume that you know everything and can weigh everything and are truly rational and and have perfect understanding.
To be able to classify someone as "Good" or "Evil" you have to know everything about that person so that you can balance all his "Good" against all his "Bad".
You have to be able to not just say what "Good" is and what "Bad" is but be the authority to set the standards. You have to be "GOD"
So for all those that think they are "GOD"
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If you are constantly condemning everyone around you and classifying their behavior as "good" or "bad" and think that people must classify you and your behavior as "good".... I think that you are one of the most pitiful and sad person on earth. Just that you do not know it.
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This thread is to debate what the best practice for AA should be, this forum, when people come to ask for help.
Whether "helpers" should be allowed to "condemn" those seeking for help and to condemn those providing advice that they do not like.
To determine what is "condemning others" and what is "condemning certain actions".
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To allow the "condemning of others" and "condemning of certain actions" or to allow only the expressing of opinions.
Example:
"You are very bad because...." (Condemning people)
"This is very bad behavior because...." (Condemning people's behavior)
"I will not do this because... (Giving others their opinion)
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My opinion is that those that like to condemn people and other people's behavior should go to BAR and do it.... I want to see how long they can survive BAR
' We are all but Perfectly Imperfect' -
Nobody is condemning anyone in this forum. Remember, this is an open forum and any Tom, Dick and Harry can get excess to it. This AA is not like other AA where no one else can make reply other than the appointed 'counselors'.
You have to understand everyone have different views, different perceptions, different opinions. Some may sound harsh to others when in actual fact they are using reverse psychology to help tackle the TS's dilemma or problem.
I am pretty sure you have come across some TS that only wants to hear what they want to hear as they feel their so-called problem is the biggest problem in the world. This can make those that gave advices frustrated and annoyed with TS behavior for refusing to at least consider the advices rendered but continue to make a nuisance of themselves. A very good example was the post concerning a 27 year old married woman who rather spend time alone travelling or with friends and go out partying leaving the poor hubby all alone at home. I don't think anyone is condemning her. Just that the way she post irritated the hell out of everyone when she still insist she is right by spending time with friends rather than hubby -
Thats why threadstarter should be as honet as possible when telling about his/her situation. Because we can only give the best possible solution based on the circumstances that the threadstarter has described. So some people may give real advice , condemn or some give advice based on thier experience and thier experience.
I do not see why we cannot condemn some advices or TS for thier advices. Because not all of them or thier adviecs that give , is good.. or even sound. We are not bound by 1 type of characteristics but many.Unless he/she explains why he/she advices that way , i dont see why we cant condemn another if they do not explain in more detail about it.only by explaining can we know why he/she will advice that way and the TS can see whether it is even close , or apply to his/her situation.
Ppl react differently to different ppl and situations, how are u all so sure that yours will work? Maybe u can give him the most optimum but still staying in the nice comfort area. While i see alot of advices given are all towards the safe and sound area , what about risking , and being more aggresive in your approach ?
Although simple condemnation by calling ppl names and giving totally no constructive advices should not be tolerated. But in this world , we will recieved praises and condemnation and we have to live with it and accept the fact that this is not a world where all things are the way u want it to be. To recieve both the negative and the positive and actually helping the person to think more in-dept then to give him false hopes or allowing him to miss the opportunities that he should've grasped. While i agree that we should give some comfort to the threadstarter and maybe tell him to be more positive in his/her outlook. -
I do not agree that it would be the same. Just look at the range of options that are suggested in the threads presently that does not come with a view to condemn.Originally posted by binarynwitz:The moment they choose to post in AA, they have decided to look at all the views available.
If we are not to judge and present our views, you can safely assume ALL our advices would be the same. This is an open forum - anyone can come in and present their views.
And that is why the AA board is powerful. It exposes you to views of not just one of your friends, but maybe twenty. Sure, there are some idiots around, but the majority are presenting their views.
In such a forum, judging is inevitable. Imposing of views is inevitable. Utopia does not exist.
I also do not agree that "judging is inevitable". You can be really annoyed at someone else's behavior and immediately blow your top and tell them what an idiot they are. You can also say, "Your (this particular) behavior is making me very annoyed"
You will have better relationships all round, friends, family and colleagues/school mates.
That takes a lot of maturity and self control....
That is where the mod plays their part... "jeers, condemnations and the likes" are totally uncalled for.Originally posted by binarynwitz:While there are definitely some whose advices seem overboard at times(dokono comes to mind), there are much more others who are rather.... kind with their words.
While the strong negative replies might affect the thread starter, understand this: life is not a bed of roses.
If you cannot accept this diverse views that would inevitably include jeers, condemnations and the likes, then don't post in AA. Consult your close friend, and listen to that one sided sympathetic voice. Just because you can't stand the heat.
People must be expected to be polite "in public". It is not only common courtesy, it speaks poorly of the person making the "jeers, condemnations and the likes". It speaks of a lack of wisdom and experience in life. It speaks of people that think the best way to change people is to scream at people.
We should condone people making the "jeers, condemnations and the likes" and tell people not to post in AA? I think it is better to stop people from making "jeers, condemnations and the likes" so anyone can post in AA. -
Originally posted by honeymouse:I think whatever we do, we will require some kind of guidelines just like what you have in place. While I totally believe everyone is entitled to provide their point of view, I just hope that everyone who contributes would learn to respect other people's point of view even if they don't agree with it.
Calling names, insulting others etc should not be tolerated here.
As for your question - No, it's not an obligation for us to "mother" our problem seeker and I have no intention to do so. However, I generally tend to be extra sensitive to the problem-seeker's feeling and self-esteem. I believe everyone (including those people who are obviously in the wrong) deserves some kind of respect and my objective is to do what I can to help them get back on the right track again.
I personally don't believe condemning is a very effective way of expressing the view. People who are condemned because of the things they have done are less likely to change for the good as they don't see any point of doing so. These people need to be encouraged instead.
That's my view point. Yours might be different from mine but I totally respect it.
No worries mousy; just lemme know what you have in mind to change or improve from previous system. Then probably you can just add onto the existing thread with your points raised. I am pretty much easy.
Cheers -
Obviously the smoke affects you very negatively. What I am saying is that if something does not get to you too negatively, just tolerate it.Originally posted by Xiaozzhen:Andrew, I know where you are coming from. Your advice is sound for situations where the negative and positive are grey areas (certain ones, anyway).
What I am talking about is more like this example:
If you like to smoke and it makes you happy to smoke. In fact if you don't smoke, you get withdrawals.
But if your smoke gets to me, I'll be unhappy, as I don't like the smoke and it doesn't quite make me sick, it makes me mad.
So I will not tolerate it. If I can get away from the smoke, I will. If it is an enclosed area, must I tolerate? What about the people around me, including young children who do not know how to protest or get away, because they have not learnt the skill?
So is your advice : the smoke does not get to me too negatively.. live and let live... and I'll be a happier person? I don't see it!
It is always difficult to give sound advice, especially one that encompasses so many areas.
If almost every little thing gets to you very negatively, then I would think that there is a problem... which you might not recognize.
You said: It is always difficult to give sound advice, especially one that encompasses so many areas. Which is why we should not condemn anyone but simply offer our opinions in as polite a manner as possible...
I started this thread also to remind people that like to condemn others that they are not GOD and that they do not know everything and so they should tone down their condemnation or give up condemning people altogether for I have observed that such people have many problems with their relationships. -
Quoted from AndrewPKYap
I do not agree that it would be the same. Just look at the range of options that are suggested in the threads presently that does not come with a view to condemn.
I also do not agree that "judging is inevitable". You can be really annoyed at someone else's behavior and immediately blow your top and tell them what an idiot they are. You can also say, "Your (this particular) behavior is making me very annoyed"
You will have better relationships all round, friends, family and colleagues/school mates.
That takes a lot of maturity and self control....
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Do you condemn people and post it out, and do you condemn but still advise?
My point is - if everyone is to remain impartial and not mix their emotions (and thus is "not judging or condemning"), everyone's replies would more or less be the same.
It is because of our individual views and emotions, that the thread starter can really look at his or her incident from another person's point of view, something which VERY LITTLE PEOPLE can do.
Judging people is inevitable. The example you state is about how you manage interpersonal skills. Not about judging of individual.
Do you expect us to reply to someone's thread objectively, when that person's thread is asking how he can steal someone else's girlfriend? Judgement has already been made then - this guy is attempting to steal another's girlfriend. And he's still justifying his actions.
That alone is enough reason for us to voice out our judgemental opinion - "If you steal someone else's girlfriend, you can expect someone would happen to you. There is karma!"
Yes. It takes a lot of maturity and control to view things objectively. But viewing things objectively and presenting our views is two different matters - You can view things objectively, and still try to impose your views, albeit it being "objectively". -
This sentence in a nutshell is where all the condemnation starts from "There is karma!" or in my original post, I said:Originally posted by binarynwitz:There is karma!"
In your case, there is no heaven but "There is karma!"Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Some people prefer to live a happy life rather than a perfect life.
Some people prefer to live a happy life rather than a disciplined life.
Some people prefer to live a happy life rather than a careful life.
If living a perfect, disciplined and careful life makes you unhappy, do you think you would want to? Live a perfect, disciplined and careful life? Maybe, if you are a religious fanatic that hopes to get to heaven.
You see, not everyone believes in Heaven and Hell and Karma.
People that believe in "Heaven and Hell and Karma" finds it hard to understand others that do not.
Because people find it hard to understand each other, it is better not to condemn anyone.
Once people start condemning, people start to lose their influence. If people are not interested in influencing others, then come to AA for what? To boost their own egos?
If someone is a condemning person in real life, they start to lose their relationships as well as their influence.
Look around you in school and or work and notice that some people never condemn others. See how they behave and how they react to situations.
Notice how many problems they solve and solve them effectively with the least amount of pain for all involved.
It takes skill and almost super human abilities to control their own emotions.
If you want to learn, learn from these people. It is easier to learn from a real life example. You can do it by thinking and reasoning but you need to be a very clear and honest thinker and you need to have vast experience in life.
If you live in a sheltered environment, sheltered by family, society and religion... it is almost impossible... your mind will be closed shut like a vault. -
summarise all plz -.-
side( i think jason should put a -.- de icon) -
I'm starting to think your definition of "condemn" and mine is vastly different.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:In your case, there is no heaven but "There is karma!"
You see, not everyone believes in Heaven and Hell and Karma.
People that believe in "Heaven and Hell and Karma" finds it hard to understand others that do not.
Because people find it hard to understand each other, it is better not to condemn anyone.
Once people start condemning, people start to lose their influence. If people are not interested in influencing others, then come to AA for what? To boost their own egos?
If someone is a condemning person in real life, they start to lose their relationships as well as their influence.
Look around you in school and or work and notice that some people never condemn others. See how they behave and how they react to situations.
Notice how many problems they solve and solve them effectively with the least amount of pain for all involved.
It takes skill and almost super human abilities to control their own emotions.
If you want to learn, learn from these people. It is easier to learn from a real life example. You can do it by thinking and reasoning but you need to be a very clear and honest thinker and you need to have vast experience in life.
If you live in a sheltered environment, sheltered by family, society and religion... it is almost impossible... your mind will be closed shut like a vault.
Karma here does not have to refer to Karma of Buddhism. It can be used as a term to describe cause & effect.
Being judgemental has close to nothing to do with advising. Citing my previous example, I judge the man as being stupid, because there are lots of girls around, why do he have to break up someone else's relationship?
I judge him, but that does not affect what I will say to him - "Don't break up someone's relationship. The same thing may happen to you."
Why do I say that? Because if he breaks up the relationship and become an item with the girl, there is no saying that he WILL NOT come to AA again with this thread - "F***! SOME ASS JUST STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND!"
And the cycle goes on and on. Just because of one small action.
Am I being wrong by condemning his actions, or being judgemental here? I'm offering him my point of view. And that is why is he here, right?
To counsel people of different, maybe conflicting, views, so that he can make the best decision.
You are too much of an idealist, Andrew. As long as AA remains an open forum, the people who seek AA's advices, will continue to be subjected to judgements, and condemnations.
Instead of being an idealist, and attempt to create an utopia-ish enivironment in AA, why not spend the time to help more people with their problem
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I would prefer that everyone here give his/her honest opinion, whether it hurts or not. (Of course, please do not insult.)
Often, I look at other's problems, which can be similar to mine, and see that there can be many different outlooks.
Some outlooks are thoughtful, some meaningful, some naughty, some thoughtless, some mean, some honest, some consoling, some....
It is wonderful to know that many people think differently. It gives the problem many different perspectives.
You feel that hey, not only your opinion counts, others have their views too, and they seem sound.
When I look into a young boy's problem, so heart rending, and I look at the solutions, unedited, I see many good people with different opinions trying to help. Some use light hearted ways, which to some seem cruel.
I am afraid toning down of one's opinion more so than what is already given, means a watered down version - not true to the heart, said for the sake's of saying. -
nobody is perfect, i am the perfect example
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quote:
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Originally posted by Xiaozzhen:
Andrew, I know where you are coming from. Your advice is sound for situations where the negative and positive are grey areas (certain ones, anyway).
What I am talking about is more like this example:
If you like to smoke and it makes you happy to smoke. In fact if you don't smoke, you get withdrawals.
But if your smoke gets to me, I'll be unhappy, as I don't like the smoke and it doesn't quite make me sick, it makes me mad.
So I will not tolerate it. If I can get away from the smoke, I will. If it is an enclosed area, must I tolerate? What about the people around me, including young children who do not know how to protest or get away, because they have not learnt the skill?
So is your advice : the smoke does not get to me too negatively.. live and let live... and I'll be a happier person? I don't see it!
It is always difficult to give sound advice, especially one that encompasses so many areas.
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You just proved my point.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Obviously the smoke affects you very negatively. What I am saying is that if something does not get to you too negatively, just tolerate it.
If almost every little thing gets to you very negatively, then I would think that there is a problem... which you might not recognize.
You said: It is always difficult to give sound advice, especially one that encompasses so many areas. Which is why we should not condemn anyone but simply offer our opinions in as polite a manner as possible...
I started this thread also to remind people that like to condemn others that they are not GOD and that they do not know everything and so they should tone down their condemnation or give up condemning people altogether for I have observed that such people have many problems with their relationships.
When a problem becomes specific and the feelings made known clearly, like the smoke problem, it is easy to give a specific answer.
It is indeed difficult to give advice on a wide ranging topic, like what you are experiencing here. -
AA is not a closed panel advisory group.
If you want to hold everyone here who post their views to such high standards, keeping it sterile and cordial, you might as well just appoint only a select few to reply threads started by users.
Users here have a great age range, each is unique in their own rights.
If you want them to post the way you deem fit, you need to provide a template on all replies to threads.
As long as the postings are not derogatory and downright sleazy.
There should not be a stringent guidelines on how people share their views.
Is that not what moderators are for ??
So far I think the moderators are doing a good job. -
Well, it is a forum... there bound to be people with different opinion against each case.
So, who are to judge those people who posted the way that you mentioned? Did you not post this way before?
People who posted their agony on the net mainly seek not of advices but to vent their anger or release their stress. Do you think good advices can be found on the net?
Even if many see the so called good advices/opinions, TS might think otherwise, like an insult to the TS...
If you still don't agree with what I say, let's just let the moderators do the answering to the post that people post in AA so that we will not actually inflict any hurt to the TSes of AA... -
Why not just state that if you can't stand the comments, don't post. Seek a professional...
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You see how a simple sentence like "There is Karma!" can lead to misunderstanding?Originally posted by binarynwitz:I'm starting to think your definition of "condemn" and mine is vastly different.
Karma here does not have to refer to Karma of Buddhism. It can be used as a term to describe cause & effect.
see that? This is why never condemn... I could have condemned you and said... "You are a stupid idiot to believe in Karma" condemning you and condemning your belief... and I would have been wrong because you it was a misunderstanding.
See? I am not perfect and I can be wrong and therefore for me to condemn you is really stupid of me isn't it? For me to condemn you shows that I did not take into consideration that I could have misunderstood, I might not know the whole story and in fact it is acting and behaving like I am GOD.
Just a simple sentence like "There is Karma!" and if I condemned you, it would have resulted in very bad feelings between us and all because I faile to recognize that I am not GOD and condemned you.Originally posted by binarynwitz:
hahaha this thread is to help those that like to condemn people with their problem of having an attitude of condemnation. You don't think that having an attitude of condemnation is a big problem but I can tell you that it is a huge problem! Like in the example cited above, at the very least, never be quick to condemn and acknowledge that people are not GOD and misunderstanding will always happen.
Being judgemental has [b]close to nothing to do with advising. Citing my previous example, I judge the man as being stupid, because there are lots of girls around, why do he have to break up someone else's relationship?
I judge him, but that does not affect what I will say to him - "Don't break up someone's relationship. The same thing may happen to you."
Why do I say that? Because if he breaks up the relationship and become an item with the girl, there is no saying that he WILL NOT come to AA again with this thread - "F***! SOME ASS JUST STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND!"
And the cycle goes on and on. Just because of one small action.
Am I being wrong by condemning his actions, or being judgemental here? I'm offering him my point of view. And that is why is he here, right?
To counsel people of different, maybe conflicting, views, so that he can make the best decision.
You are too much of an idealist, Andrew. As long as AA remains an open forum, the people who seek AA's advices, will continue to be subjected to judgements, and condemnations.
Instead of being an idealist, and attempt to create an utopia-ish enivironment in AA, why not spend the time to help more people with their problem [/b]
When you say: "Don't break up someone's relationship. The same thing may happen to you."
Is not condemnation because, how have you condemned him?
You did not utter any words of condemnation as far as I can see.
You did not say: "You are "condemned" (change the word "condemned" to your liking) for breaking up someone else relationship".
You did not say: "Someone will break up your relationship because you tried to or you break up someone else's relationship". (Condemning all his future relationships)
You are assuming that breaking up every relationship is bad... then better don't have divorce.
You are assuming that the guys action is what will break up other people's relationship... then how do you account for all those relationships that broke up without a third party involved?
You don't know and you will never know and you can never know everything.
so while it is right to say: "Don't break up someone's relationship. The same thing may happen to you."
it is wrong to say: "You are "condemned" (change the word "condemned" to your liking) for breaking up someone else relationship".
and it is wrong to "judge the man as being stupid, because there are lots of girls around" because although there might be "lots of girls around", that is the girl he likes.
If you advise him... "Better for you to go after another girl you like that is lonely and not attached for I think that you will have more success than for there are lots of girls around."
No condemnation and yet, good advice.
If you advise him... "You know, you might come to have bad conscience about breaking up their relationship and that might spoil your relationship with her in the future...."
No condemnation and yet, good advice. -
and no condemnation... giving an honest opinion is not the same as condemning people.Originally posted by Xiaozzhen:I would prefer that everyone here give his/her honest opinion, whether it hurts or not. (Of course, please do not insult.)
it is wrong to say: "You are "condemned" (change the word "condemned" to your liking) for breaking up someone else relationship";.
and it is wrong to "judge the man as being stupid, because there are lots of girls around" because although there might be "lots of girls around", that is the girl he likes.
If you advise him... "Better for you to go after another girl you like that is lonely and not attached for I think that you will have more success than for there are lots of girls around."
No condemnation and yet, good advice.
If you advise him... "You know, you might come to have bad conscience about breaking up their relationship and that might spoil your relationship with her in the future...."
No condemnation and yet, good advice.[/b][/quote]
Don't tone down your opinion!!!!!!!Originally posted by Xiaozzhen:Often, I look at other's problems, which can be similar to mine, and see that there can be many different outlooks.
Some outlooks are thoughtful, some meaningful, some naughty, some thoughtless, some mean, some honest, some consoling, some....
It is wonderful to know that many people think differently. It gives the problem many different perspectives.
You feel that hey, not only your opinion counts, others have their views too, and they seem sound.
When I look into a young boy's problem, so heart rending, and I look at the solutions, unedited, I see many good people with different opinions trying to help. Some use light hearted ways, which to some seem cruel.
I am afraid toning down of one's opinion more so than what is already given, means a watered down version - not true to the heart, said for the sake's of saying.
You see or not? I said don't condemn and you take it as "tone down your opinion"... do you see that? People have misunderstanding all the time! When you condemn someone, you fail to understand that people have misunderstanding all the time.... when you condemn, you think that you are GOD and will never have any misunderstanding and therefore have the right and the capacity to condemn. -
If you know how difficult it is, why do you still favour people condemning others?Originally posted by Xiaozzhen:You just proved my point.
When a problem becomes specific and the feelings made known clearly, like the smoke problem, it is easy to give a specific answer.
It is indeed difficult to give advice on a wide ranging topic, like what you are experiencing here.
You can only be more specific or less specific and you cannot be perfectly specific!
Even if you are perfectly specific, other people might still "catch no ball"
It is this attitude, this attitude that we are all humans and as humans, we "misunderstand " miscommunicate " "miss this miss that " all the time and must never condemn.
About your smoking example. You assume that you have the right and is reasonable not to tolerate the smoke and smoker.
You are forgetting one thing (and that is most likely only one of many considerations that are out there) and that is, if you have a tolerant attitude, to the point that others smoking in a room does not get to you... if you have an attitude like that, it might speak of you living a non-stressful life.
Stress as you know can kill and cause lots of problems and diseases.
So getting very annoyed at the smoker and you fight with him just to get him to stop... you might not die of smoking related diseases but die of stress related diseases.
I used a lot of if and might... because I recognize that I am not GOD and I do not condemn you for thinking that you should chase the smoker out of the room.
If I use condemning words like: "You are an idiot... you have this type of attitude, you will die of stress related diseases."
Won't that make me an idiot for condemning you like that?
So give your opinions, give your strongest opinions, give your no-holds-bar opinions but never condemn because you are not GOD. -
Andrew,
You're going a little bit over board with this condemnation thing.
Please stop telling the users here they have no right to condemn, because , you are also not GOD. -
Please defend your position why people has the right to condemn and we see where you are coming from... sound reasoning, superstitions, religious beliefs, half-baked ideas, illusions or alien philosophy...Originally posted by jojobeach:Andrew,
You're going a little bit over board with this condemnation thing.
Please stop telling the users here they have no right to condemn, because , you are also not GOD.
I have backed up all my statements.
I am not telling people not to condemn by stating that I am GOD.
Can you please tell me where I said people must not condemn others because I (GOD) said so?
Can you please tell me my reasons why people should not condemn others and where my reasoning have failed?
How about this:
"YOU have gone overboard, please stop telling me to Please stop telling the users here they have no right to condemn, because , you are also not GOD." -
Having the right to condemn or not , is something you or I , has not right to determine. Because like you said, we are not GOD.
Condemnation via words serves no purpose other than an expression of frustration or disagreement to the related action or thoughts.
To keep the forum postings civilised and cordial.
You can only set up some guidelines along this.
Do not use, deragatories, vulgarities, hostilities or threats of physical nature.
Incase you didn't realised
Quote" Can you please tell me where I said people must not condemn others because I (GOD) said so?"
Your postings says so .. all over this thread.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Please defend your position why people has the right to condemn and we see where you are coming from... sound reasoning, superstitions, religious beliefs, half-baked ideas, illusions or alien philosophy...
I have backed up all my statements.
I am not telling people not to condemn by stating that I am GOD.
Can you please tell me my reasons why people should not condemn others and where my reasoning have failed?
How about this:
"YOU have gone overboard, please stop telling me to Please stop telling the users here they have no right to condemn, because , you are also not GOD." -
He just trying to play saint... but he isn't...
By posting this type of thread will only lead to people condemning each other because of their different opinion. But in my opinion, quite a number of forumer shared the same view...
What rights you have to condemn those who condemn people in AA???
If you are not condemn, you would not had started a thread and said what you said. By doing, you are condemning. Thus you contradict yourself. -
Please show me where... where did I say "people must not condemn others because I (GOD) said so?" instead of giving reasons why people should not condemn others.Originally posted by jojobeach:Incase you didn't realised
Quote" Can you please tell me where I said people must not condemn others because I (GOD) said so?"
Your postings says so .. all over this thread.
You want to go around condemning others and think that having this kind of attitude is good, that is your prerogative...
Please don't spread your "condemnation disease" around...Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:If someone is a condemning person in real life, they start to lose their relationships as well as their influence.
Look around you in school and or work and notice that some people never condemn others. See how they behave and how they react to situations.
Notice how many problems they solve and solve them effectively with the least amount of pain for all involved.
It takes skill and almost super human abilities to control their own emotions.
If you want to learn, learn from these people. It is easier to learn from a real life example. You can do it by thinking and reasoning but you need to be a very clear and honest thinker and you need to have vast experience in life.
If you live in a sheltered environment, sheltered by family, society and religion... it is almost impossible... your mind will be closed shut like a vault.