Exasperated
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Can somebody tell me...
How do you deal with people who are NOT open to discussion when it comes to issues that seriously need tackling?
Like, they either try to evade the topic, or they have some really warped reasoning they insist is right, or when they're not happy with some suggestions put out, they simply lose their temper and walk away? (even when you're already being very patient and superduper nice.)
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Tell him/her the seriousness straight at their face
Stop them running ! -
What if he/she blows his/her top and starts to yell at the top of his/her voice? Or maybe even do worse things like throw things around?Originally posted by dbowie:Tell him/her the seriousness straight at their face
Stop them running !
Or maybe, that person will just say "Do whatever you like."
And then you can't really do whatever you like, because that person will raise hell upon finding that what you have done is not to his/her liking. -
suggestions :
(a) write out the issues, give the background, ask your questions in the note, wait for his/her reply
(b) book his/her time through formal channel eg organise a formal meeting. make sure the meeting venue is condusive for discussion (i.e. no distractions)
(c) seek help from someone he/she respects or will listen to -
mindmap.
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let them rant..
it is the long term solution.. because ultimately, the unreasonable one will learn that you are not going to bend to their will...
but what is in between that realisation, will be a tough time... -
But there are things to be done. And they cannot be achieved without discussion.Originally posted by the Bear:let them rant..
it is the long term solution.. because ultimately, the unreasonable one will learn that you are not going to bend to their will...
but what is in between that realisation, will be a tough time... -
Originally posted by MooKu:What if he/she blows his/her top and starts to yell at the top of his/her voice? Or maybe even do worse things like throw things around?
Can't you do so too?
Or maybe, that person will just say "Do whatever you like."
And then you can't really do whatever you like, because that person will raise hell upon finding that what you have done is not to his/her liking.
Just reply to them like " You didn't choose to choose,and you told me to do it. -
leave that person alone for some time.
hug hug mooku* -
ahhh.. school work..
write it out.. hopefully it'll work.. but do the best you can...
this is one of the lessons not written in the prospectus of the course.. and something you will bring with you into the working world..
sorry mookie, i don't know what to do.. i've faced these before.. the only thing we could do was to brute-force forward and never ever choose that person for a group project again..Originally posted by MooKu:But there are things to be done. And they cannot be achieved without discussion. -
None of the above will help.Originally posted by chin36:suggestions :
(a) write out the issues, give the background, ask your questions in the note, wait for his/her reply
(b) book his/her time through formal channel eg organise a formal meeting. make sure the meeting venue is condusive for discussion (i.e. no distractions)
(c) seek help from someone he/she respects or will listen to
If I go for (a), he will ask why I'm doing this and very probably say something like "We can always talk face to face. It's a waste of time communicating like this."
I don't need to pick (b), because I know he has enough time to listen without distractions.
(c)...? Ha.. hahahaha... We're talking about someone who doesn't exist.
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Originally posted by missqi:mindmap.
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Heh, I don't like to stoop to such low and unproductive levels. Thanks.Originally posted by dbowie: -
I can't leave that person alone.Originally posted by browniebaobao:leave that person alone for some time.
hug hug mooku*
We'll always have things to work out.
I used to think everyone should just let him be, that we'll try to find a way to get things done without antagonizing him, even if it means getting things done badly as a short term solution.
But my patience is running out fast.
Thanks bbb... -
It's not schoolwork.Originally posted by the Bear:ahhh.. school work..
write it out.. hopefully it'll work.. but do the best you can...
this is one of the lessons not written in the prospectus of the course.. and something you will bring with you into the working world..
sorry mookie, i don't know what to do.. i've faced these before.. the only thing we could do was to brute-force forward and never ever choose that person for a group project again.. -
oh.. then.. i'm stumped..
but hang in there yah?
Originally posted by MooKu:It's not schoolwork. -
project mate ma?Originally posted by MooKu:I can't leave that person alone.
We'll always have things to work out.
I used to think everyone should just let him be, that we'll try to find a way to get things done without antagonizing him, even if it means getting things done badly as a short term solution.
But my patience is running out fast.
Thanks bbb...
tell him to cooperate or else have to kick him out lor.
but if it's a family member, then i think better persuade him to control his temper/get a professional to counsel him. -
And that's precisely my question - how do you persuade him to do anything at all?Originally posted by browniebaobao:project mate ma?
tell him to cooperate or else have to kick him out lor.
but if it's a family member, then i think better persuade him to control his temper/get a professional to counsel him. -
Originally posted by MooKu:Can somebody tell me...
How do you deal with people who are NOT open to discussion when it comes to issues that seriously need tackling?
There are many ways depends on what situation and the number of ways depends on yr experience. For example :
If u are the leader and have the power, whip them... Let them fear of u... But also must be reasonable lah...
If u are not the leader and have no power, then, let them be leader... But however, maintain a positive attitube. Maintaining a positive attitube is also a skill... U need to slowly build up relationship with them... Whenever, they make a grave mistake, just warn them... It doesnt matter if there is an open discussion or close discussion, as long as u get yr job done. WHO CARES???
Like, they either try to evade the topic, or they have some really warped reasoning they insist is right, or when they're not happy with some suggestions put out, they simply lose their temper and walk away? (even when you're already being very patient and superduper nice.)
Then, what makes u think that yr reasoning is right??? What makes u think that they dont think that u r evading THEIR topic??? This are all human managements skills... ---> Experience... -
sorry i dun have good advice..Originally posted by MooKu:And that's precisely my question - how do you persuade him to do anything at all?
if someone throws tantrum at me.. i will turn a cold shoulder also.
i got a stubborn nature. -
Originally posted by
Well ah, building up a relationship is right... I have been working at it. And it did help... but it takes time. I'm talking about my dad actually. When you're living together, harmony is very important. You can't say things like "Who cares?" and talk about instiling fear.
There are many ways depends on what situation and the number of ways depends on yr experience. For example :
If u are the leader and have the power, whip them... Let them fear of u... But also must be reasonable lah...
If u are not the leader and have no power, then, let them be leader... But however, maintain a positive attitube. Maintaining a positive attitube is also a skill... U need to slowly build up relationship with them... Whenever, they make a grave mistake, just warn them... It doesnt matter if there is an open discussion or close discussion, as long as u get yr job done. WHO CARES???
Then, what makes u think that yr reasoning is right??? What makes u think that they dont think that u r evading THEIR topic??? This are all human managements skills... ---> Experience.
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I don't know if my reasoning is right or not, but at least I belong to the majority and he is standing alone. -
aww... poor mookie..
i guess when it comes to these things, gotta bear with it for a while..
my dad was like that too... until one day, he realised he was dead wrong in many things.. -
It is human relationship management. Very difficult to advice (experience)Originally posted by MooKu:And that's precisely my question - how do you persuade him to do anything at all?
Anyway,
1) r u the leader?
2) if u r the leader, how do u get appointed?
3) How do that guy think about his expertise? How do the rest of the people think about his expertise?
4) What is the history of that guy?
5)...
6)...
7)... -
How long did it take? x_xOriginally posted by the Bear:aww... poor mookie..
i guess when it comes to these things, gotta bear with it for a while..
my dad was like that too... until one day, he realised he was dead wrong in many things.. -
No!Originally posted by ispyyy:It is human relationship management. Very difficult to advice (experience)
Anyway,
1) r u the leader?
2) if u r the leader, how do u get appointed?
3) How do that guy think about his expertise? How do the rest of the people think about his expertise?
4) What is the history of that guy?
5)...
6)...
7)...
There is no leader no organization here.