Exasperated
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can u at least read the thread and try to understand what is going on if u want to say anything?Originally posted by ispyyy:It is human relationship management. Very difficult to advice (experience)
Anyway,
1) r u the leader?
2) if u r the leader, how do u get appointed?
3) How do that guy think about his expertise? How do the rest of the people think about his expertise?
4) What is the history of that guy?
5)...
6)...
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Nawh, actually it's my fault too... I didn't say clearly what it was all about.Originally posted by TehJarVu:can u at least read the thread and try to understand what is going on if u want to say anything?
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ALAMAK... if it is yr dad, then, very easy liao ... ><Originally posted by MooKu:Well ah, building up a relationship is right... I have been working at it. And it did help... but it takes time. I'm talking about my dad actually. When you're living together, harmony is very important. You can't say things like "Who cares?" and talk about instiling fear.
I don't know if my reasoning is right or not, but at least I belong to the majority and he is standing alone.
I thought u r talking abt strangers that dont care for each other...
When I say "Who cares?" It means it doesnt matter what method u use... as long as, u get yr objective done...
Anyway, I can guess that yr father is all the while the head of the family... But when u reason with him and most of other family members support u, how do u think yr father feels???
Actually, I can guess that u have some character that inherited from yr father... <---- this is talking cock... of coz lah, he is yr father wat....
I read from one of the forumer say b4 "I am a mirror image of my father..." Think I no need to say any further -
I have to admit... I did try to think about how he feels when everyone's against him.
Let me ponder okie.
My dad has been overseas for a large part of my life.
edit: I mean, it did occur to me.. -
i hope everything will work out all right for you
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Don't know man.Originally posted by the Bear:i hope everything will work out all right for you
Sighhh.
Thanks bear.... -
haha... my dad is also always in overseas before he is retired...
Befire he retire, I only get to see my father twice a year...
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Ok....can understand mooku's situation.
At least your father walked away.
My mother will raise high drama, and even block your way out of watching her play her 'i am so pitiful mama' drama roles till I totally lose my temper & my sanity.
Sometimes, when you need to discuss something, is because you see how simple it is, by merely talking about it, discussing and finding yoru solutions thru what you see as black and white.
But parents, or anyone in a different position who has been managing and experienced as much as they do....think differently. So they dont want to talk.
Mine was a reversal of roles....where previously my mother is the superior being.....but times changes, where I am the more superior...and she resented that and give me hell, at the most critical moment, acting the bimbo she is.
You have to hang in there. And best if you do consult the other elders to sound them out to find out the rationale of them (preferably sama sama age as your father), before you reason with your father.
Most times, when they walk away, is because they feel threatened. Their superiority is at stake. -
Sometimes it's not about you being very patient or superduper nice. Relationships of the type you're talking about is often not about professionalism. Hence, you can't always expect results.Originally posted by MooKu:Can somebody tell me...
How do you deal with people who are NOT open to discussion when it comes to issues that seriously need tackling?
Like, they either try to evade the topic, or they have some really warped reasoning they insist is right, or when they're not happy with some suggestions put out, they simply lose their temper and walk away? (even when you're already being very patient and superduper nice.)
Some old folks know that they're wrong, but they just don't wanna admit that they're wrong. Others might just be too customised to the way they've been behaving.
Not sure about you... But personally for me... End of the day, if a neutral balanced point can be reached, just try to accept a 'give n take' situation...? -
I wonder... if I'm really someone hard to please.
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That's right... his superiority is being challenged, and I do suppose having owned a business ALL his life he's not used to suddenly having people wanting to do things a way different from his.
I'm finding it difficult.. He's been absent for a very large part of my life and I'm not used to having him around or talking to him either.
Actually, maybe I don't know what to do at all. -
continue with it lor
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just accommodating wif him.Originally posted by MooKu:That's right... his superiority is being challenged, and I do suppose having owned a business ALL his life he's not used to suddenly having people wanting to do things a way different from his.
I'm finding it difficult.. He's been absent for a very large part of my life and I'm not used to having him around or talking to him either.
Actually, maybe I don't know what to do at all.
afterall he is ur dad n he will want to act as a role of a head in the family.
u will not win if u clash wif him. -
Thanks everybody...
I still don't know exactly how to go about sorting this out, but all your replies are so valuable to me. There were things I couldn't see, didn't see, refused to see... but everything's so much clearer now.
Thanks.