What should i do?
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i have been with my gf for 1 yr already. 1 week after our 1 yr anniversary, she suddenly said that she feel that we don have even communication. Meaning that everyday i would call her wake up in the morning and before i slp i would call her and ask her what time she wanna wake up the next day. This has been going on for the past 12 months. She asked me if i love her. I really love her alot alot alot!!!!!! she told me she is very confuse between love and feeling comfortable with the person. then she say give her 1 month time to re-consider our relationship. She say if she loves me she would come back to me. I'm very sad.
guys, i need your advise. What should i do? She say we lack of communication. i always sms her the same thing ask her to drink more water blah blah blah. What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? -
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do u think this is a serious problem?
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why no one help me?
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This is a classic example of the "It's me, not you mentality". In my book, the Classic Examples of Relationships with us Teenagers, i clearly outlined the symptoms of mentality among us teenagers to young adults we face. Amongst these is this classic example. She cites the lack of communication as the cause of her desire to be in the relationship. Ask yourself the following :Originally posted by aljudvin:i have been with my gf for 1 yr already. 1 week after our 1 yr anniversary, she suddenly said that she feel that we don have even communication. Meaning that everyday i would call her wake up in the morning and before i slp i would call her and ask her what time she wanna wake up the next day. This has been going on for the past 12 months. She asked me if i love her. I really love her alot alot alot!!!!!! she told me she is very confuse between love and feeling comfortable with the person. then she say give her 1 month time to re-consider our relationship. She say if she loves me she would come back to me. I'm very sad.
guys, i need your advise. What should i do? She say we lack of communication. i always sms her the same thing ask her to drink more water blah blah blah. What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do?
1. Out of ten, how much do you rate your communication with her?
2. Out of ten, how much do you rate her communication with you?
The perfect ratio should always be more than 1. If it's less than 1, then i'm afraid that the relationship shouldn't be pursued further. Why? You may ask...
Simply put,
She is finding excuses to get out of the relationship. She yearns to seek "greener pastures". She wants to find better experiences. She is bored with you. She finds you more of a roadkill and ur irritating the heck outta her.
Apply whichever is applicable.
She just wanna exploit the lack of communcation as the "Get Out" clause in the r/s.
First of all, give her some time. Try and remove her from your mind and thoughts. In my book, i state the different post relationship acitivities that you can consider when forgetting about the ex. Give yourselves a week and tell yourself not to contact her. If she still loves you, she will contact u first. 95% of all relationships i surveyed where the girl initiated a cooling off period first doesnt contact the guy at all first. and almost 100% of the 95% have a short lived patching up.
Move on and find someone else better.
--Author of the Classic Examples of Relationships with us Teenagers -
She holds the card now,not u.
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both of u how old?
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Communication to a woman with her man is VERY IMPORTANT.
Have you been listening to her ?
Have you been validating her feelings ?
When she talks to you about certain concerns, do you acknowledge ?
When she requests , do you act on it ?
When she complains to you, do you shrug it off or just classify it as mere naggings ?
Men usually hears , but they don't listen.
Women feels love when her man listens to her. -
we both 20 yrs oldOriginally posted by BrUtUs:both of u how old? -
Originally posted by jojobeach:Communication to a woman with her man is VERY IMPORTANT.
Have you been listening to her ? = no
Have you been validating her feelings ? = no
When she talks to you about certain concerns, do you acknowledge ? = yes
When she requests , do you act on it ? = sometimes i would forget
When she complains to you, do you shrug it off or just classify it as mere naggings ?
Men usually hears , but they don't listen.
Women feels love when her man listens to her. -
i know she still have feelings for me. But she is confused only. What should i do to win her back? romantic? such as wat? She is now very busy with her project, i tried my best to help her with her project as i am having my attactment now and i'm beri free,
guys, care to share any romantic tactics? -
This is a classic example of how a man thinks when relationship falls apart.Originally posted by Master -_-:This is a classic example of the "It's me, not you mentality". In my book, the Classic Examples of Relationships with us Teenagers, i clearly outlined the symptoms of mentality among us teenagers to young adults we face. Amongst these is this classic example. She cites the lack of communication as the cause of her desire to be in the relationship. Ask yourself the following :
1. Out of ten, how much do you rate your communication with her?
2. Out of ten, how much do you rate her communication with you?
The perfect ratio should always be more than 1. If it's less than 1, then i'm afraid that the relationship shouldn't be pursued further. Why? You may ask...
Simply put,
She is finding excuses to get out of the relationship. She yearns to seek "greener pastures". She wants to find better experiences. She is bored with you. She finds you more of a roadkill and ur irritating the heck outta her.
Apply whichever is applicable.
She just wanna exploit the lack of communcation as the "Get Out" clause in the r/s.
First of all, give her some time. Try and remove her from your mind and thoughts. In my book, i state the different post relationship acitivities that you can consider when forgetting about the ex. Give yourselves a week and tell yourself not to contact her. If she still loves you, she will contact u first. 95% of all relationships i surveyed where the girl initiated a cooling off period first doesnt contact the guy at all first. and almost 100% of the 95% have a short lived patching up.
Move on and find someone else better.
--Author of the Classic Examples of Relationships with us Teenagers
Refusal to investigate the true reason of the breakdown. Getting to the root of the problem is like asking them to cut a finger off.
Simply attributing it to a simple excuse or reason for the breakdown.
The woman has already mentioned.. COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN.
Meaning, in woman's language " YOU HAVE NOT BEEN LISTENING TO MY NEEDS". -
al,Originally posted by aljudvin:i know she still have feelings for me. But she is confused only. What should i do to win her back? romantic? such as wat? She is now very busy with her project, i tried my best to help her with her project as i am having my attactment now and i'm beri free,
guys, care to share any romantic tactics?
If you don't learn to communicate properly with your girlfriend.
NO amount of romantic tactics, big or small is ever going to change her mind. -
humz so does the girl ever listen to a guys needs?Originally posted by jojobeach:This is a classic example of how a man thinks when relationship falls apart.
Refusal to investigate the true reason of the breakdown. Getting to the root of the problem is like asking them to cut a finger off.
Simply attributing it to a simple excuse or reason for the breakdown.
The woman has already mentioned.. COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN.
Meaning, in woman's language " YOU HAVE NOT BEEN LISTENING TO MY NEEDS".
I have guys who have been listerning and obeying commands from the gals they love and they still break up.
why cos the gals complain that the relationship is so boring cos the guy always listern to her. -
Since you have done so much for the gf, what have your gf done for you?Originally posted by aljudvin:i have been with my gf for 1 yr already. 1 week after our 1 yr anniversary, she suddenly said that she feel that we don have even communication. Meaning that everyday i would call her wake up in the morning and before i slp i would call her and ask her what time she wanna wake up the next day. This has been going on for the past 12 months. She asked me if i love her. I really love her alot alot alot!!!!!! she told me she is very confuse between love and feeling comfortable with the person. then she say give her 1 month time to re-consider our relationship. She say if she loves me she would come back to me. I'm very sad.
guys, i need your advise. What should i do? She say we lack of communication. i always sms her the same thing ask her to drink more water blah blah blah. What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? -
She have done alot of me oso. She do cares alot about me too. Its just that she doesnt show. Her family is like tt one. Care for ppl but don show out.Originally posted by zeny:Since you have done so much for the gf, what have your gf done for you? -
can u define "communicate" for me? i really wish to know.Originally posted by jojobeach:al,
If you don't learn to communicate properly with your girlfriend.
NO amount of romantic tactics, big or small is ever going to change her mind. -
Listening to your woman, does not mean letting her walk all over you.Originally posted by zeny:humz so does the girl ever listen to a guys needs?
I have guys who have been listerning and obeying commands from the gals they love and they still break up.
why cos the gals complain that the relationship is so boring cos the guy always listern to her. -
Communication in a relationship is a science.Originally posted by aljudvin:can u define "communicate" for me? i really wish to know.
You can start by reading a very popular book
" Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus"
There is also an illustrated version, which may be less boring than reading the thick book , author John Gray.. -
don't bother doing anything, u shld take it easy & enjoy this moment. Don't try to amuse her or even change the situation. It'll piss her off even more.Originally posted by aljudvin:i know she still have feelings for me. But she is confused only. What should i do to win her back? romantic? such as wat? She is now very busy with her project, i tried my best to help her with her project as i am having my attactment now and i'm beri free,
guys, care to share any romantic tactics?
She already said she'll be back if it was meant to be........be brave & prepare for the worse.
Good luck
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let me quote your wordsOriginally posted by jojobeach:Listening to your woman, does not mean letting her walk all over you.
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"Have you been listening to her ?
Have you been validating her feelings ?
When she talks to you about certain concerns, do you acknowledge ?
When she requests , do you act on it ?
When she complains to you, do you shrug it off or just classify it as mere naggings ?
Men usually hears , but they don't listen.
Women feels love when her man listens to her.
"
1) Man do hear but even wonder why they do not want to listern?
2) Define listening to your woman.
3) If you do not give in to your woman she will say that
"When she talks to you about certain concerns, do you acknowledge ?
When she requests , do you act on it ? "
Is easy to say " does not mean letting her walk all over you"
But when guys try to reasons with the girl, the girl feels unlove and you do not love her at all if you do not listern to her wants and needs. -
humm seems that you love her more then she loves you.Originally posted by aljudvin:She have done alot of me oso. She do cares alot about me too. Its just that she doesnt show. Her family is like tt one. Care for ppl but don show out.
Want to check with you on something.
Is she seeing someone else or do you feel that she has done something odd? -
Zeny,Originally posted by zeny:let me quote your words
"
"Have you been listening to her ?
Have you been validating her feelings ?
When she talks to you about certain concerns, do you acknowledge ?
When she requests , do you act on it ?
When she complains to you, do you shrug it off or just classify it as mere naggings ?
Men usually hears , but they don't listen.
Women feels love when her man listens to her.
"
1) Man do hear but even wonder why they do not want to listern?
2) Define listening to your woman.
3) If you do not give in to your woman she will say that
"When she talks to you about certain concerns, do you acknowledge ?
When she requests , do you act on it ? "
Is easy to say " does not mean letting her walk all over you"
But when guys try to reasons with the girl, the girl feels unlove and you do not love her at all if you do not listern to her wants and needs.
I have no wish to argue with you.
If you want to discuss this, please read the book first.
If you are too lazy to read the book, there is an illustrated version.
I'm sorry to say this, but if you don't want to understand your woman, and refuse to , then please do not blame your woman when she decides you are not the one for her. -
I have read the books and many more, I have apply the lessons taught by them but I feel that life is not as simple as reading a book. Everyone has different from each point of views.Originally posted by jojobeach:Zeny,
I have no wish to argue with you.
If you want to discuss this, please read the book first.
If you are too lazy to read the book, there is an illustrated version.
I'm sorry to say this, but if you don't want to understand your woman, and refuse to , then please do not blame your woman when she decides you are not the one for her.
your point of views is that guys should listern to girls and do what they say to make them happy.
I am not fighting against it but to what extend should a guy go before he is label as boring and useless by the girl he loves?
This is the main question that every single guy wants to know.
From my point of view is that girls should learn to respect their bf, instead of asking them to keep doing things for their wants and needs which
i feel is very unfair to their bf. What is the difference between a slave and a bf then?
I have seen with my own eyes that good guys listerns to their gfs every wants and needs only to be dump by them when some handsome or rich guy comes along. So my question is simple is this fair to the good guys?
Is very easy to say
"I'm sorry to say this, but if you don't want to understand your woman, and refuse to , then please do not blame your woman when she decides you are not the one for her."
but the my question for you is how far should I go to so call "understand" my woman?
1) give in to all her wants and needs everytime she requests?
2) Always allow her to complain about her life and never wants to listern to my complains?
To answer your question, I will try to undestand my woman and give in to her wants and needs if I see that is fair to both of us. If she could not take it that by all means leave. I am more then willing to find a better girl who can be fair to both of our needs instead of always giving in to hers.
No one should keep forcing someone to keep giving in to the person they love in order to feel love.