What should i do?
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thx for ur luckOriginally posted by de_middle:don't bother doing anything, u shld take it easy & enjoy this moment. Don't try to amuse her or even change the situation. It'll piss her off even more.
She already said she'll be back if it was meant to be........be brave & prepare for the worse.
Good luck
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she is not seeing someone else and she nv do anything wrong. she is very faithful to me one. maybe she feel insecure with me. Because i have alot of female friends. What should i do?Originally posted by zeny:humm seems that you love her more then she loves you.
Want to check with you on something.
Is she seeing someone else or do you feel that she has done something odd? -
Is she jealous of your female friends?Originally posted by aljudvin:she is not seeing someone else and she nv do anything wrong. she is very faithful to me one. maybe she feel insecure with me. Because i have alot of female friends. What should i do?
To solve a problem you need to know the root of the problem. -
Zeny,Originally posted by zeny:I have read the books and many more, I have apply the lessons taught by them but I feel that life is not as simple as reading a book. Everyone has different from each point of views.
your point of views is that guys should listern to girls and do what they say to make them happy.
I am not fighting against it but to what extend should a guy go before he is label as boring and useless by the girl he loves?
This is the main question that every single guy wants to know.
From my point of view is that girls should learn to respect their bf, instead of asking them to keep doing things for their wants and needs which
i feel is very unfair to their bf. What is the difference between a slave and a bf then?
I have seen with my own eyes that good guys listerns to their gfs every wants and needs only to be dump by them when some handsome or rich guy comes along. So my question is simple is this fair to the good guys?
Is very easy to say
"I'm sorry to say this, but if you don't want to understand your woman, and refuse to , then please do not blame your woman when she decides you are not the one for her."
but the my question for you is how far should I go to so call "understand" my woman?
1) give in to all her wants and needs everytime she requests?
2) Always allow her to complain about her life and never wants to listern to my complains?
To answer your question, I will try to undestand my woman and give in to her wants and needs if I see that is fair to both of us. If she could not take it that by all means leave. I am more then willing to find a better girl who can be fair to both of our needs instead of always giving in to hers.
No one should keep forcing someone to keep giving in to the person they love in order to feel love.
The ideas and concepts in the book is for relationship that is fundamentally sound.
If you chose a woman who is fickle, no amount of listening or doting will hold her back.
If you have chosen a woman wisely, and she is the right one whom you can live a fruitful life with her. The concepts in those self help books WILL help. -
Zeny,
Girls should not be learning how to "respect" their man. This sound so machoistic.
In this day and age, the thing to do is to learn how to "appreciate" them.
This goes both ways, woman and man must learn how to appreciate each other. -
Agree with your point that everyone should "appreciate" each other.Originally posted by jojobeach:Zeny,
Girls should not be learning how to "respect" their man. This sound so machoistic.
In this day and age, the thing to do is to learn how to "appreciate" them.
This goes both ways, woman and man must learn how to appreciate each other.
Maybe after seeing so many good guys end up cheated by their gfs, I could only wish and hope that gals would really try to "appreciate" their bf. -
Good points to note from jojo.Originally posted by jojobeach:Zeny,
The ideas and concepts in the book is for relationship that is fundamentally sound.
If you chose a woman who is fickle, no amount of listening or doting will hold her back.
If you have chosen a woman wisely, and she is the right one whom you can live a fruitful life with her. The concepts in those self help books WILL help.
Agree that is the choice of the girls that matter most.
Hopes that these will help others when the times comes. -
Zeny,Originally posted by zeny:Agree with your point that "appreciate" each other.
Maybe after seeing so many good guys end up cheated by their gfs, I could only wish and hope that gals would really try to "appreciate" their bf.
I have, after seeing too many good girls end up cheated and dumped by their bfs, I could also only hope that guys would really try to "appreciate" their gf.
Unfortunately, guys only is willing to appreciate their good gf, AFTER they lost the gf.
Men tends to engage in " Damage Control".
Women believes in "Prevention is better than cure" -
Instead of debating, Why dont you guys address the real issue? Poor guy hasn't got a grip T_T.
Which was they say, communication is a very important factor in a relationship.
In my opinion, Asking her to drink water or being her alarm clock is not really "communication".
Communication as in, talking TOGETHER. Its not just you asking her questions, its just the same with clapping your hands. Can you clap your hand with just ONE hand; Of course not.
If you strive to keep, you keep. If you strive to love, you love. If you strive to leave, you leave.
They are all choices -
This sentence: "she told me she is very confuse between love and feeling comfortable with the person." would suggest that she is not sure that she loves you... but she is very comfortable with you...Originally posted by aljudvin:i have been with my gf for 1 yr already. 1 week after our 1 yr anniversary, she suddenly said that she feel that we don have even communication. Meaning that everyday i would call her wake up in the morning and before i slp i would call her and ask her what time she wanna wake up the next day. This has been going on for the past 12 months. She asked me if i love her. I really love her alot alot alot!!!!!! she told me she is very confuse between love and feeling comfortable with the person. then she say give her 1 month time to re-consider our relationship. She say if she loves me she would come back to me. I'm very sad.
guys, i need your advise. What should i do? She say we lack of communication. i always sms her the same thing ask her to drink more water blah blah blah. What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do?
There is nothing you can do... the ball is not in your court... and if she decides after one month that she does not love you... then the game is over and you need to find someone else to play with you. -
lolOriginally posted by rikki:Instead of debating, Why dont you guys address the real issue? Poor guy hasn't got a grip T_T. -
TS...
it is normal for girl or guy to have doubt in a relationship... In fact, most of us in life will have doubt in a relationship at least once. I think none can differentiate between love and feeling comfortable in AA except debates and debates...
Yr case is not as bad as other case... At least, u noe how to judge her love from her opinion... The only thing that u should do more is to do more things that she feel being loved from her opinion...
If u want, u can ignore "1 month time to re-consider our relationship" and give a one shot that will touch her--> only one shot... Try to recap on the words that she say previously, brainstorm ideas that she will feel loved from her opinion and give yr best shot to touch her...
Wish u luck -
Choose one ONLY.Originally posted by aljudvin:i have been with my gf for 1 yr already. 1 week after our 1 yr anniversary, she suddenly said that she feel that we don have even communication. Meaning that everyday i would call her wake up in the morning and before i slp i would call her and ask her what time she wanna wake up the next day. This has been going on for the past 12 months. She asked me if i love her. I really love her alot alot alot!!!!!! she told me she is very confuse between love and feeling comfortable with the person. then she say give her 1 month time to re-consider our relationship. She say if she loves me she would come back to me. I'm very sad.
guys, i need your advise. What should i do? She say we lack of communication. i always sms her the same thing ask her to drink more water blah blah blah. What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do? What should i do?
1] Wait
2] Don't wait -
you need to do new things man, its just like playing games. If you are playing the same game over and over again, its gonna be boring right? Don't always sms her the same thing, try some new stuff. Like me, sometimes i surprise mine by popping up at her tuition place after her lesson, but i never tell her at all. Girls, no matter how much they deny, love surprises. Good luck bro.
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u mean u only call her to ask her wake up n wad time she wants to wake up the next day??
this is so wrong.
she is right abt the lacking of communication.
im sure tats not the only stuff couple shd talk abt.
u shd call her daily afew times just to check wads she doing n etc.
or at least a sms?
good luck n try harder. jia you! dun give up! -
That is why you should never try to understand women and analyze everything she says.Originally posted by aljudvin:What should i do?
She herself can only inarticulately express what she is feeling.
The issue here is not exactly a lack of communication.
ItÂ’s a lack of spark in the relationship.
Your morning and night calls became an obligation and sheÂ’s simply not feeling any excitement.
I imagine her sitting in her living room, staring at the clock and doing a countdown every night:
“In 10 seconds, he is going to call and ask me to drink more water…10, 9, 8, 7 ….”
This is as interesting as watching the paint on the wall dry.
For the time being, see her sparingly (once a week).
The time you spend with is going to be QUALITY time. Make her breathless as you go from one activity to another.
Dates are all about locations.
Change the scenery constantly (even if itÂ’s a simple dinner) as it keeps dates interesting. Changing the scenery gives both of you new things to talk about.
More action dates rather than the standard movie and shopping dates.
Bowling, Pool or dancing, a trip to the amusement parkÂ…it depends on what YOU enjoy doing.
Let her catch that sparkle in your eyes while you are doing something you truly enjoy.
Enthusiasm and optimism is a powerful tool when it comes to keeping her interest. That sparkle in your eyes gives her exuberance about life.
Never lose that passion.
What if she is not interested at all about the activities you like?
Does that mean you should give them up and simply follow what she likes?
Hell no.
That means the two of you are simply not compatible.
Broaden your horizons.
Learn a new language, a new culture.
Travel frequently when you have the opportunity and see what is going on in other parts of the world.
When you have stories to tell about your travelsÂ…even an afternoon in a coffee house will sound more appealing to her.
Your conversation with her will never be dry and boring. -
Thx guys for ur advise! i appreciate it
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i will wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Originally posted by dcx:Choose one ONLY.
1] Wait
2] Don't wait -
mmmm any idea wat can i do to make her feel touched? Our 13th month anniversary is on the 13th of july. i wan to give her surpise oso.Originally posted by ispyyy:TS...
it is normal for girl or guy to have doubt in a relationship... In fact, most of us in life will have doubt in a relationship at least once. I think none can differentiate between love and feeling comfortable in AA except debates and debates...
Yr case is not as bad as other case... At least, u noe how to judge her love from her opinion... The only thing that u should do more is to do more things that she feel being loved from her opinion...
If u want, u can ignore "1 month time to re-consider our relationship" and give a one shot that will touch her--> only one shot... Try to recap on the words that she say previously, brainstorm ideas that she will feel loved from her opinion and give yr best shot to touch her...
Wish u luck -
i mean i oso gt call her whenever i'm free like during my lunch break. we used to meet up with each other everyday until recently she told me that if everyday meet up there wont be like gt a feeling of missing each other. She say she need some space and freedom. so wat kind of sms can i sent? i always sent her : the weather is hot today, drink more water wor. Take care of urself when i'm not by ur side.Originally posted by Cool-gal:u mean u only call her to ask her wake up n wad time she wants to wake up the next day??
this is so wrong.
she is right abt the lacking of communication.
im sure tats not the only stuff couple shd talk abt.
u shd call her daily afew times just to check wads she doing n etc.
or at least a sms?
good luck n try harder. jia you! dun give up! -
Originally posted by curiousOrange:
she said i everytime say i love you to her then she feels that like gt not special liao. you guys noe wat i mean? it has already been 1 week since i say the 3 words to her le. wat can i do?
That is why you should never try to understand women and analyze everything she says.
She herself can only inarticulately express what she is feeling.
[b]The issue here is not exactly a lack of communication.
ItÂ’s a lack of spark in the relationship.
Your morning and night calls became an obligation and sheÂ’s simply not feeling any excitement.
I imagine her sitting in her living room, staring at the clock and doing a countdown every night:
“In 10 seconds, he is going to call and ask me to drink more water…10, 9, 8, 7 ….”
This is as interesting as watching the paint on the wall dry.
For the time being, see her sparingly (once a week).
The time you spend with is going to be QUALITY time. Make her breathless as you go from one activity to another.
Dates are all about locations.
Change the scenery constantly (even if itÂ’s a simple dinner) as it keeps dates interesting. Changing the scenery gives both of you new things to talk about.
More action dates rather than the standard movie and shopping dates.
Bowling, Pool or dancing, a trip to the amusement parkÂ…it depends on what YOU enjoy doing.
Let her catch that sparkle in your eyes while you are doing something you truly enjoy.
Enthusiasm and optimism is a powerful tool when it comes to keeping her interest. That sparkle in your eyes gives her exuberance about life.
Never lose that passion.
What if she is not interested at all about the activities you like?
Does that mean you should give them up and simply follow what she likes?
Hell no.
That means the two of you are simply not compatible.
Broaden your horizons.
Learn a new language, a new culture.
Travel frequently when you have the opportunity and see what is going on in other parts of the world.
When you have stories to tell about your travelsÂ…even an afternoon in a coffee house will sound more appealing to her.
Your conversation with her will never be dry and boring.
[/b] -
don't do anything,jus wait for her patiently,in this one mth period,maybe you should think what happen in this r/s and how you should change it.don't do the same things over and over again,girls like freshness and some changes which we guys like to do things repeatedly without giving the SO a thought.jus a hintOriginally posted by aljudvin:she said i everytime say i love you to her then she feels that like gt not special liao. you guys noe wat i mean? it has already been 1 week since i say the 3 words to her le. wat can i do?
n the day of the meetup,maybe prepare some flowers or gifts,the rest of the journey is up to you.
Terence -
Your girlfriend's right. It feels fake. It's like a chore, like it doesn't come from your heart. Girls are very particular. Don't do it.Originally posted by aljudvin:she said i everytime say i love you to her then she feels that like gt not special liao. you guys noe wat i mean? it has already been 1 week since i say the 3 words to her le. wat can i do?
You know why?
Because you feel insecure. You feel that if you don't say the 3 words everytime, you are afraid you might lose her. You need her to make you happy. Some guys can say "I love you" to their girl everyday every hour every minute but the girl still loves them.
Why?
They are not scared their girlfriend will leave them. They are not afraid. They are confident. They don't need to listen to their girlfriend's complaints that it's boring. They just do what they like. It's funny but the girl still like him.
On the other hand, you are the opposite. You try too hard. You think too much. You are too afraid. You are insecure. Try not to care about what she thinks. Just do what you like to do. Because it's you who are in control.
Right now, I would say it's time to start getting to know more girls.
doko -
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cry for what? You already made up your mind to wait... then wait lor... but from an outsider's point of view... your chances are very low... so just be prepared for the worse... you came to AA for objective unbiased unemotional views right?Originally posted by aljudvin: