Why do girls not understand guys' needs?

• FBI

  2 Jul 07, 23:07

  Originally posted by kiss_my (_i_):

  u wrong man..
  
  should be,
  
  u're not the man for her

  seriously agree on this
• AndrewPKYap

  2 Jul 07, 23:08

  Originally posted by eagle:

  Erm, that's not really a thing to say to TS.... If his profile is correct, he's at most 17 yrs old...

  hmmmm... I don't we can protect or try to protect people... this is the internet age... they can see anything they want in th www.
  
  I think it is best to spell out reality and let people handle the facts themselves...
  
  I sincerely doubt that if we say "Hey lay your hands off the girl", it will work
  
  So my idea is that we lay down the facts... and tell them the possible consequences of their actions which they might not have considered.... otherwise, the young people these days, I think that they can see through preaching easily...
  
  
• eagle

  2 Jul 07, 23:33

  Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:

  hmmmm... I don't we can protect or try to protect people... this is the internet age... they can see anything they want in th www.
  
  I think it is best to spell out reality and let people handle the facts themselves...
  
  I sincerely doubt that if we say "Hey lay your hands off the girl", it will work
  
  So my idea is that we lay down the facts... and tell them the possible consequences of their actions which they might not have considered.... otherwise, the young people these days, I think that they can see through preaching easily...
  

  I still feel that it's wrong to lay down the suggestion that she may be a wild girl =D
• poo-see-boi

  3 Jul 07, 01:17

  Originally posted by _Aaron_:

  Aye, it seems that the problem you have with her is contact issues. Does she not appreciate your gestures, or do you not appreciate her appreciation? (You get the idea.)
  
  You yourself said that everything else is fine, so other than not being to touch her, you still send each other mushy smses, say mushy stuff, do little stuff for each other?
  
  Some little details that could help us help you:
  How old are the two of you?
  How long have you two been together?
  Has she ever been attached before?
  Has she had any prior bad experience?
  
  Do let us know~

  I guess I am primarily affected by contact issues. I believe too little contact just doesn't feel right.
  
  I am 17, but she's 19. No maturity issues. Both of us first time attached. No prior bad experiences. We've been together 3months.
  
  We are not the mushy type.
• poo-see-boi

  3 Jul 07, 01:23

  Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:

  I don't think it is wise to ignore, downplay physical intimacy incompatibility.
  
  There is a chance that she might become a wild animal when you are married... but you have to decide if you want to take that risk...

  Well, it is alright to bring up marriage.
  
  But I'd rather marry a human.
• eagle

  3 Jul 07, 01:47

  Originally posted by poo-see-boi:

  I guess I am primarily affected by contact issues. I believe too little contact just doesn't feel right.
  
  I am 17, but she's 19. No maturity issues. Both of us first time attached. No prior bad experiences. We've been together 3months.
  
  We are not the mushy type.

  For all you know, she might think that you are too young for her and is re-considering her future with you.
  
  We sg guys are already set back by 2 yrs due to NS. Adding on to the 2 yrs gap, she will be 4 yrs into her career before you even step out.
• kkkk0914

  3 Jul 07, 01:50

  your how long already..does she did that by the start of ur r/s?
• DC+

  3 Jul 07, 01:50

  at your age, just enjoy being able to eat lunchbox with her liaw!!
  
  no need touchy feely here n there
• AndrewPKYap

  3 Jul 07, 06:24

  Originally posted by eagle:

  I still feel that it's wrong to lay down the suggestion that she may be a wild girl =D

  You misunderstood what I wrote, I think....
  
  The context I was talking about is that, physical incompatibility can cause problems. That is not something people should avoid considering. You get married to have sex, (not just and not only, of course) to put it more crudely.
  
  If one party have physical needs vastly more than their spouse... that spells trouble down the line.
  
  As for the particular post I made... I am not suggesting that the girl is wild.
  
  I am saying that while she is not willing to indulge in anything physical now, at this stage of the relationship... (she believes in maintaining pre-marital physical purity during courtship, for example)... the situation might change when she is married.
  
  She might turn out to be "an animal", "wild" in bed after she is married...
  
  How would anyone know unless you marry her and see for yourself? You can have the opinion that she is so shy now, she would be like that after marriage... people change... but you take the risk... they might change when the circumstance change or they might NOT change....
  
  TS is "into" physical relationships (as many guys are) and the girl is not so keen (as many girls are, not so keen).
  
  I see people saying things like " u're not the man for her" suggesting that TS is at fault... I am trying to go beyond apportioning blame.
  
  I am saying that one should not brush aside physical/sexual incompatibility... it can be very serious and make or break a marriage (can be, not absolute)
• eagle

  3 Jul 07, 06:59

  Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:

  I am saying that one should not brush aside physical/sexual incompatibility... it can be very serious and make or break a marriage (can be, not absolute)

  I like this sentence the most
  
  Ok enough of our digression =D
• caleb_chiang

  3 Jul 07, 08:30

  Are you even sure you guys are an item???
• aljudvin

  3 Jul 07, 09:46

  haiz... i understand how u feel....
  
  *pat* *pat*
• FireAndHell

  3 Jul 07, 09:47

  Originally posted by poo-see-boi:

  I am, to say the least, disappointed. After all these months of being there for her, going out of my way to help her, showing her concern, always lending a listening ear,... she doesn't seem to appreciate it.
  
  For example, when I put my hand on her shoulder, she squirms. Or when I sit close to her, she keeps and inch. This is disturbing, as these subtle hints seem to say that she doesn't trust me? If that were the case, she should not have allowed us to be in a relationship in the first place. But everything else is fine.
  
  It is tough for a guy to be in a relationship where there is hardly even the slightest contact. The relationship feels cold. Why do girls not understand this? And it is even harder for guys to explain this to the girl.
  
  What's the best step forward now?

  Ah!!.........how about we turn this picture around??
  
  Like......why can't guys understand gals feelings and wants or not wants??
  
  Hmmm..........
• KenPlus

  3 Jul 07, 10:35

  Maybe SHe is shy
  or maybe she just don't trust you
  try to talk to her and ask her what she felt
  
  How did she react why you look at her,did she shy away or look not happy,sometimes eye contact show everything and it form a guide on what we guys should do next.
• zeny

  3 Jul 07, 10:43

  Originally posted by poo-see-boi:

  I am, to say the least, disappointed. After all these months of being there for her, going out of my way to help her, showing her concern, always lending a listening ear,... she doesn't seem to appreciate it.
  
  For example, when I put my hand on her shoulder, she squirms. Or when I sit close to her, she keeps and inch. This is disturbing, as these subtle hints seem to say that she doesn't trust me? If that were the case, she should not have allowed us to be in a relationship in the first place. But everything else is fine.
  
  It is tough for a guy to be in a relationship where there is hardly even the slightest contact. The relationship feels cold. Why do girls not understand this? And it is even harder for guys to explain this to the girl.
  
  What's the best step forward now?

  Are you in heat or what?
  
  If you force your gf she will run.
  
  Either you find someone else or stay and wait.
• mir4cle

  3 Jul 07, 11:57

  i think TS doesnt understand the girl lor. i think for him, it's jus puppy love.
  
  its e girl's first relationship..that's why she's so withdrawn. TS shld give her space and time. that's e most crucial part.
• nutpinko

  3 Jul 07, 11:57

  Originally posted by poo-see-boi:
  I am, to say the least, disappointed. After all these months of being there for her, going out of my way to help her, showing her concern, always lending a listening ear,... she doesn't seem to appreciate it.
  
  For example, when I put my hand on her shoulder, she squirms. Or when I sit close to her, she keeps and inch. This is disturbing, as these subtle hints seem to say that she [b]doesn't trust me? If that were the case, she should not have allowed us to be in a relationship in the first place. But everything else is fine.
  
  [b]

  trust is not measured like that.
  spare her the agony. you are not good enough for her
• julietta

  3 Jul 07, 13:25

  u say u been wif her for 3 mths, u got hold her hand b4? kiss b4? by lookin at ur 1st post i dun think u 2 are gg into ani relationship. or is it jus a 1 sided love afterall. somemore i think age is realli a problem [/quote]
• BadzMaro

  3 Jul 07, 14:15

  Why do girls not understand guy's needs?
  
  LoL.. i think she understand guy's 'NEEDs' perfectly alright... by keeping in the 'safe' zone.
• bananaking

  3 Jul 07, 14:28

  she is just trying to keep the relationship to an extend...but she a bit protective ar...
• Rephidim

  3 Jul 07, 14:47

  Cheer up dude!
  That can be a good thing you know!
  If u win her trust, you'll be her only one bcoz she wont allow other guys to flirt or touch her.
  
  Its just the way ur girl is, accept her for that and allow the touching to come naturally. If she feels like it she will allow it in gradually.
  Girls are like puppies and kittens u knoe, no sudden movements, u gotta go slow.
  
  
• kikq

  3 Jul 07, 15:14

  that just sounds so wrong. what needs are we talking about here...it's a fact that a girlfriend and a boyfriend should at least be able to sit next to each other without feeling uncomfortable (esp after 3 months together). and if they cant even do that they should just slow down and go on as friends cos they're obviously not ready to date (at least not each other)
  
  just my opinion...
• de_middle

  3 Jul 07, 17:58

  Originally posted by BadzMaro:

  Why do girls not understand guy's needs?
  
  LoL.. i think she understand guy's 'NEEDs' perfectly alright... by keeping in the 'safe' zone.

  
• mach10

  3 Jul 07, 19:58

  Originally posted by poo-see-boi:

  I am, to say the least, disappointed. After all these months of being there for her, going out of my way to help her, showing her concern, always lending a listening ear,... she doesn't seem to appreciate it.
  
  For example, when I put my hand on her shoulder, she squirms. Or when I sit close to her, she keeps and inch. This is disturbing, as these subtle hints seem to say that she doesn't trust me? If that were the case, she should not have allowed us to be in a relationship in the first place. But everything else is fine.
  
  It is tough for a guy to be in a relationship where there is hardly even the slightest contact. The relationship feels cold. Why do girls not understand this? And it is even harder for guys to explain this to the girl.
  
  What's the best step forward now?

  to her you may not seem NEEDing to touch her etc... you simply seem WANTing to touch her only... for girls, alot of things connect to the heart... u gotta go to the heart 1st dude.
• No9

  3 Jul 07, 20:21

  I am also puzzled by women's expectations of guys nowadays..
  
  Gone are the days where ' Hey~~ lets meet at Cityhall MRT ' sounded so sweet.
  
  Nowadays, alot of gers will tell you: ' Hey u got car anot?? Come my house fetch me leh'.
  
  As usual, I dunnoe I shud luff or cry..