Over generous bf?
-
see.. sit down.. talk about nicely. Both reasonably.. and wala. a reasonable understanding and compromise.Originally posted by galfriend:we just briefly talked about it. told him such behaviour will breed greed among friends, not healthy. he say he will be more conscious about that in future. -
good luckOriginally posted by galfriend:Taking advantage is a very subjective thing. It can be passive or proactive. By passive, i mean, one knows another is generous and 'allow' that to happen. In the case of the ''offer to return the money", i doubt there was much sincerity in it, as the conversation went like:
Friend: wow, you lost so much money. you still have some money with me you know
BF: oh, you win hor?
Friend: ya, but i spent all of them shopping already
BF: it is ok, forget it
talk talk is easy
the follow up part is the tricky one , requires stamina and perserverance -
ya, think a better timing will be weekend. like a lazy afternoon, lying there in the beach doing nothing. Talk about such things during such time will be more stress-free.Originally posted by BadzMaro:see.. sit down.. talk about nicely. Both reasonably.. and wala. a reasonable understanding and compromise.
One very good thing about our relationship, we talk about everything and can discuss about anything. Hopefully this will not be an exception
-
At least able to gain acceptance is a good start.Originally posted by Space1999:good luck
talk talk is easy
the follow up part is the tricky one , requires stamina and perserverance -
agreed,Originally posted by galfriend:At least able to gain acceptance is a good start.
but you know ahh ..
man like to say yes without meaning it just to pacify and to get the programme going.
anyway you sound intelligent enough to spot the problem and im sure in the future if you cant solve it and continue to see it veering off the cliff you will jump off the car isnt it? -
since you both talk about everything and can discuss about anything i dont see why u cant discuss about this lo. unless he finds it taboo. But timing is important also. during stress free period is good also. =)Originally posted by galfriend:ya, think a better timing will be weekend. like a lazy afternoon, lying there in the beach doing nothing. Talk about such things during such time will be more stress-free.
One very good thing about our relationship, we talk about everything and can discuss about anything. Hopefully this will not be an exception -
Thank youOriginally posted by Space1999:agreed,
but you know ahh ..
man like to say yes without meaning it just to pacify and to get the programme going.
anyway you sound intelligent enough to spot the problem and im sure in the future if you cant solve it and continue to see it veering off the cliff you will jump off the car isnt it? -
congrat
your bf seem to be very understanding. -
wah lau. wad a heartless suggestion.Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:How's is his's financial status? He is coming from the upper class income group?
Since he want's to throw his money, why bother him. Let him throw untill all his money are gone and he'll start to realize the importance of money.
Although afew $$$ is nothing to him, but it's everything to a lower - income group family leh.
Tsk tsk tsk, better suck all his money and change a boyfriend. -
he will never change, either you adapt or leave....
-
you can also consider to make him just a good friend lah, so that he can pass some of his generosity to you.
-
This is the fact. In Singapore ar, everything needs money leh. He's throwing $$ into the sea leh..Originally posted by motoway:wah lau. wad a heartless suggestion.
-
Well u mentioned he's indiscriminately generous.. since that's the case, take what he gives you and help him keep it. Maybe u could surprise him a few mths down the road by showing him the large sum u've gathered from him. Then maybe he'll think about how much he could have saved instead.
-
like sell insurance like that...Originally posted by takki:Do drop me a private message if you are willing to give me and yourself a chance.
-
Originally posted by takki:Aiya. Change bf lah.
You can always consider me
Do drop me a private message if you are willing to give me and yourself a chance.
-
Your BF is like me sia.
-
Hmm, sounds like this issue has a number of aspects, including:
1) the boyfriend may not be responsible enough with his money
2) he might be mistaking freeloaders for friends
3) the time is coming when he'll have to choose between spending money on his friends or his home/family
It could be a bit much to take in all at once, and perhaps attending to one aspect at a time might be an easier approach to get the boyfriend to absorb the nature of the problem. TS, what would you think the best one is to deal with first? -
Well, OBS, you've got better things to spend you money on now. A 116750, or a COSC 14060 perhaps?Originally posted by oldbreadstinks:just my 2 cents,
i think its unlikely he'll change his thinking unless something snaps him out of it. i used to spend money freely among friends but changed my thinking only after i got cheated by my friends. -
I think Point 3 or point 1 would be more applicable to his case, hence more important to deal with first. Care to shed some thoughts on it?Originally posted by Gedanken:Hmm, sounds like this issue has a number of aspects, including:
1) the boyfriend may not be responsible enough with his money
2) he might be mistaking freeloaders for friends
3) the time is coming when he'll have to choose between spending money on his friends or his home/family
It could be a bit much to take in all at once, and perhaps attending to one aspect at a time might be an easier approach to get the boyfriend to absorb the nature of the problem. TS, what would you think the best one is to deal with first? -
like what forumers had suggested... open a joint account and save...