should i go for it?
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thanks for your comment, im actually looking for comments from girl at this age and their perspective, you are right she is mature beyond her age because of the environment, but you know girls will still be girls, they will still enjoy clubbing etc...Originally posted by thumbelina:i think its quite unfair to say she's 'childish' and 'immature' just because she's 'only 21'.. i'm 21y/o too.. and its not that i think i'm very matured.. i know i'm not.. (in fact, i think i'm less matured than girls my age..) but considering the kind of environment this girl works in/hangs around at, i think she would have been forced to be matured beyond her years to survive in it. give her a chance!
no matter how mature you are, you still want to have fun and it should not be restricted but to make sure you come back after having harmless fun is the most important thing -
hahaha, we decided to go earlier maybe next week to europe, i will tell you how it goes but no saucy details which i doubt anything will happen.Originally posted by de_middle:if ur more than willing to field us in detail, we forumites are more than happy to scrutinize ur report
she is 21 , there is no hurry for me....i will take my time to develop and flesh out this relationship and if we get married , you will be invited -
You need to lay down the ground rules.Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:thanks for your comment, im actually looking for comments from girl at this age and their perspective, you are right she is mature beyond her age because of the environment, but you know girls will still be girls, they will still enjoy clubbing etc...
no matter how mature you are, you still want to have fun and it should not be restricted but to make sure you come back after having harmless fun is the most important thing
Tell her out front how you feel about certain issues.
Example.
Going clubbing and having fun is fine as long as
1. Don't get drunk, girls no matter how pretty will be disgusting when they get drunk.
2. Flirting in public, I may not be around, but if my friends see you doing it, it will be very embarrasing or downright insulting to me. Please spare a thought for my feelings too.
3. If you want to party late into the night, please let me know your whereabouts, so that I may not worry.
You need to let her know your expectations. Don't expect her to read your mind. -
in fact she told me she is past that clubbing stage and is tired of that. i told her you are just tired for a while and in the future you will want to do it im sure, even now she enjoys playing piano doing auntie stuff , she dont even enjoy internet..so very hard to read her.Originally posted by jojobeach:You need to lay down the ground rules.
Tell her out front how you feel about certain issues.
Example.
Going clubbing and having fun is fine as long as
1. Don't get drunk, girls no matter how pretty will be disgusting when they get drunk.
2. Flirting in public, I may not be around, but if my friends see you doing it, it will be very embarrasing or downright insulting to me. Please spare a thought for my feelings too.
3. If you want to party late into the night, please let me know your whereabouts, so that I may not worry.
You need to let her know your expectations. Don't expect her to read your mind.
but the only problem , she is calling me every two or three hours, and constantly want to be with me..im past that stage... -
No, you shouldn't doubt it.Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:in fact she told me she is past that clubbing stage and is tired of that. i told her you are just tired for a while and in the future you will want to do it im sure, even now she enjoys playing piano doing auntie stuff , she dont even enjoy internet..so very hard to read her.
but the only problem , she is calling me every two or three hours, and constantly want to be with me..im past that stage...
I went through my teenage years partying and getting into all kind of crazy shiate.. by the age of 22, I was tired of those late nights and crazy days.
I yearn for something more stable, more rewarding.... that's when I started backpacking the world and establish a stable relationship.
Calling you every two or three hours... that's typical. Because she wants you BAD. You should be very flattered.
You need to let go of your status quo. Life will be very different for a while.
You will feeling a little unsettling.. but that is normal.
She's probably as clueless as you are about how to handle you, but you can tell she is trying her best. -
Originally posted by jojobeach:No, you shouldn't doubt it.
I went through my teenage years partying and getting into all kind of crazy shiate.. by the age of 22, I was tired of those late nights and crazy days.
I yearn for something more stable, more rewarding.... that's when I started backpacking the world and establish a stable relationship.
Calling you every two or three hours... that's typical. Because she wants you BAD. You should be very flattered.
You need to let go of your status quo. Life will be very different for a while.
You will feeling a little unsettling.. but that is normal.
She's probably as clueless as you are about how to handle you, but you can tell she is trying her best.
mind if i ask how old are you now?
are you married? -
FourFourtwo8,
I can sense that you are not very sure of yourself.
It is understandable, since it will be your first relationship with such a young, and pretty girl.
It will feel like your FIRST. And that's where the rush is coming from.
But trust me, after this, both of you will be spoilt.
Unless this relationship turns out to be a very bad one, it will be very very hard to go back to any relationship with people the same age as each of you. -
hmmmOriginally posted by jojobeach:FourFourtwo8,
I can sense that you are not very sure of yourself.
It is understandable, since it will be your first relationship with such a young, and pretty girl.
It will feel like your FIRST. And that's where the rush is coming from.
But trust me, after this, both of you will be spoilt.
Unless this relationship turns out to be a very bad one, it will be very very hard to go back to any relationship with people the same age as each of you.
i will try my best to take care of her and pamper her. well if i try my best ,,and its still screw up , well
i tried -
do you think its good idea to pay for her shopping? when we are in europe i meanOriginally posted by jojobeach:FourFourtwo8,
I can sense that you are not very sure of yourself.
It is understandable, since it will be your first relationship with such a young, and pretty girl.
It will feel like your FIRST. And that's where the rush is coming from.
But trust me, after this, both of you will be spoilt.
Unless this relationship turns out to be a very bad one, it will be very very hard to go back to any relationship with people the same age as each of you. -
To be a gentleman , that isOriginally posted by fourfourtwo8:do you think its good idea to pay for her shopping? when we are in europe i mean -
gentleman pays for everything, and if i do so , the reward is inevitable whether i want it or not..Originally posted by dbowie:To be a gentleman , that is
i just want to have a good time -
If you want to foster a relationship similar to being her sugardaddy.Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:do you think its good idea to pay for her shopping? when we are in europe i mean
Sure, give her your credit card and tell her to make you a bankrupt.
If that is her first trip to Europe.
You should focus on making it a sightseeing/visiting experience.
My suggestion is to give her a set amount of money/allowance for her to get things she like. No more, if she spends every penny. -
what is a good amount?Originally posted by jojobeach:If you want to foster a relationship similar to being her sugardaddy.
Sure, give her your credit card and tell her to make you a bankrupt.
If that is her first trip to Europe.
You should focus on making it a sightseeing/visiting experience.
My suggestion is to give her a set amount of money/allowance for her to get things she like. No more, if she spends every penny. -
perhaps i should tell u that
wad we do(chatting,etc) b4 a r/s
and after a r/s is totally different....
think bout it
the rest i dunoe liao... small kid
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Well, it really depends on how deep your pocket is, and how comfortable are you with the amount of money for her to spend.Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:what is a good amount?
Europe is an expensive place....and I have no idea what she likes.
Branded stuff or quirky or rare or just pretty ?
You may want to ask her... if she tells you a small amount, just add a little more.... if she ask you for a jaw dropping number.. drop her....
It may take a day or two for her to figure out how much she would really need after she goes window shopping. So you probably would want to decide how much after walking around the city. -
actually... i don't think paying for a girl's shopping is equivalent to being a gentleman.. as in, i wouldn't want my platonic guy friend to pay for my shopping. alot of guys think digging into their wallets means being gentlemanly.. but being gentlemanly is an attitude. like, paying for shopping but then not paying attention to things that matter to her.. that isn't being gentlemanly.. it just doesn't work that way..Originally posted by dbowie:To be a gentleman , that is
on the other hand, how 4428 is really giving serious thought to this r/s and considering how it will affect both parties (not just himself) shuld it go further, acknowledging that he hasn't gotten over his ex, generally caring about the girl's feelings, etc.. this is already being gentlemanly... and without a cent spent.. its the attitude.. not the money.. -
somehow i have to agree...Originally posted by de_middle:dun shun her totally but don't accept her either......her feelings for you will die off naturally....she's very young
if you don't think you are up for another relationship that have higher chances to end.... then just treat her as a friend, nothing more -
another thing we are going to couple spa this weekend, is it good idea, i mean we will see each other naked!Originally posted by smudgey:somehow i have to agree...
if you don't think you are up for another relationship that have higher chances to end.... then just treat her as a friend, nothing more
although not sexually... -
she's right!Originally posted by thumbelina:actually... i don't think paying for a girl's shopping is equivalent to being a gentleman.. as in, i wouldn't want my platonic guy friend to pay for my shopping. alot of guys think digging into their wallets means being gentlemanly.. but being gentlemanly is an attitude. like, paying for shopping but then not paying attention to things that matter to her.. that isn't being gentlemanly.. it just doesn't work that way..
on the other hand, how 4428 is really giving serious thought to this r/s and considering how it will affect both parties (not just himself) shuld it go further, acknowledging that he hasn't gotten over his ex, generally caring about the girl's feelings, etc.. this is already being gentlemanly... and without a cent spent.. its the attitude.. not the money..
doko -
simple qn is...Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:another thing we are going to couple spa this weekend, is it good idea, i mean we will see each other naked!
although not sexually...
will you consider doing the same with a gal, a friend, a SISTER with whom you have absolutely no interest in? -
no way...hmmmOriginally posted by smudgey:simple qn is...
will you consider doing the same with a gal, a friend, a SISTER with whom you have absolutely no interest in?
interesting...but she was the one who asked me... -
wa.... like that hor... i also wan you this type of FRIEND!Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:gentleman pays for everything, and if i do so , the reward is inevitable whether i want it or not..
i just want to have a good time
please think... think of a pal whom you have absolutely no special feelings for.
would you pay for all her spending?
there's a difference between being a Gentleman and Being a white carrot!
Be a gentleman, open the door for her, pull up the chair for her, and maybe pick up the bill (meals), but when it comes to her shopping, that's her's to pay not yours
Gosh i don't even let my bf(ex) pay for my own shoppings not to mention just a friend!!! -
well you already know that she is interested in you. so why should the fact that she asked you be interesting.Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:no way...hmmm
interesting...but she was the one who asked me...
what u should do is.
make a decision as of to whether you would like to take the risk with her to start a relationship with her...
once you made it. you'll know whether or not to do all these things you asked...
gosh i can't believe that I am advicing a >30yr old guy abt these things!!! -
but hor, she is so young, im so old, so its fair mahOriginally posted by smudgey:wa.... like that hor... i also wan you this type of FRIEND!
please think... think of a pal whom you have absolutely no special feelings for.
would you pay for all her spending?
there's a difference between being a Gentleman and Being a white carrot!
Be a gentleman, open the door for her, pull up the chair for her, and maybe pick up the bill (meals), but when it comes to her shopping, that's her's to pay not yours
Gosh i don't even let my bf(ex) pay for my own shoppings not to mention just a friend!!!
no problem wan... -
oh i am going to start a relationship but im going to do it slow..Originally posted by smudgey:well you already know that she is interested in you. so why should the fact that she asked you be interesting.
what u should do is.
make a decision as of to whether you would like to take the risk with her to start a relationship with her...
once you made it. you'll know whether or not to do all these things you asked...
gosh i can't believe that I am advicing a >30yr old guy abt these things!!!