Need some help..
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Sorry to say this, but according to your post, she sounds like a nutcase.Originally posted by BakeInc:My girlfriend has been saying i am not caring enough. I would try my best to meet up with her or stay over. 1 whole week, i will see her at least 5 to 6 days. It's not that i dun wanna meet her but that i have friends and family to juggle. First quarrel she said she understood that i need friends and family. I am treating my home like a hotel, everyday go home at around 12midnight just to slp, wake up at 6am go for work. Everytime when i go home everyone is asleep already.
Whenever she wanna go out with friends, i will not show any unhappiness, i will jus say "okie go enjoy urself =)" She said that i must inform her if i wanna go out so that she can find some things to do herself, but whenever i cant meet her, she will feel unhappy. Whenver i have to leave, she will ask me to go in a "aiyah go la u, dun wanna acc me right" that kind of tone.
Last time, i leave her house at around 11.30pm so i can catch the last bus, i have been doing the same thing till lately, i leave her house at about 12 or 12.30 midnight jus to tug her to sleep. Everytime i have to take cab home.
I have been staying over to acc her to a later time as time goes by, but she said i am not caring enough...
Once it's 11.20, she asked me to go now so i can catch the last bus, but when i leave she sms-ed me that she hated me because i didnt accompany her. I tot "finally she understood" but what can i do?
Another one, i was damn tired, she asked me to rest early tonight. After that she asked me what am i going to do after work, i told her i gonna see a doc and go home rest. She got unhappy and said why i dun behave like a normal boyfriend who would just meet up with gf jus to send her home. It's she who ask me to rest early. By the way she ending at 9pm, by the time i send her home it's around 10.30. By the time i reached home sure about 12midnight again. So am i able to rest early?
I seriously dunno what to do...anyone got this kind of problem? -
Ehhhh, she's too over-possessive and i somewhat agree with jojobeach's reply that she might be a nutcase. Or her PMS runs at night daily... no concrete advice for you as i think that u have done all you can as a BF..Originally posted by BakeInc:My girlfriend has been saying i am not caring enough. I would try my best to meet up with her or stay over. 1 whole week, i will see her at least 5 to 6 days. It's not that i dun wanna meet her but that i have friends and family to juggle. First quarrel she said she understood that i need friends and family. I am treating my home like a hotel, everyday go home at around 12midnight just to slp, wake up at 6am go for work. Everytime when i go home everyone is asleep already.
Whenever she wanna go out with friends, i will not show any unhappiness, i will jus say "okie go enjoy urself =)" She said that i must inform her if i wanna go out so that she can find some things to do herself, but whenever i cant meet her, she will feel unhappy. Whenver i have to leave, she will ask me to go in a "aiyah go la u, dun wanna acc me right" that kind of tone.
Last time, i leave her house at around 11.30pm so i can catch the last bus, i have been doing the same thing till lately, i leave her house at about 12 or 12.30 midnight jus to tug her to sleep. Everytime i have to take cab home.
I have been staying over to acc her to a later time as time goes by, but she said i am not caring enough...
Once it's 11.20, she asked me to go now so i can catch the last bus, but when i leave she sms-ed me that she hated me because i didnt accompany her. I tot "finally she understood" but what can i do?
Another one, i was damn tired, she asked me to rest early tonight. After that she asked me what am i going to do after work, i told her i gonna see a doc and go home rest. She got unhappy and said why i dun behave like a normal boyfriend who would just meet up with gf jus to send her home. It's she who ask me to rest early. By the way she ending at 9pm, by the time i send her home it's around 10.30. By the time i reached home sure about 12midnight again. So am i able to rest early?
I seriously dunno what to do...anyone got this kind of problem? -
i am not a person who take initiative. I not been in a real r/s, previous one were jus puppy love, thus i think i am not an experienced bf...
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I understand.....its tiringOriginally posted by BakeInc:i am not a person who take initiative. I not been in a real r/s, previous one were jus puppy love, thus i think i am not an experienced bf...
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it's tiring for me...everyday wake up at 6am, sleep at about 1am...what can i do..maybe thats why love is blind...
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Well..... from what i see from your post, you are with her most of YOUR time and showing some CARE. Experienced or not, you have done your part as a BF and she is being unreasonable about it.
Think i have a few suggestions for u.
1) This time, you could really make her UNDERSTAND that you can't be with her ALL THE TIME. Mututal understanding between couples is important to make a healthy relationship. If that doesn't work, well... Move On i guess.
2) Ask her what she meant by "You are not caring enough" and if she compares you with others(especially her ex), then tell her that YOU is YOU and OTHERS is OTHERS. Ask her what she really wants of you as a BF and make clear to her that you are already doing what you can.
3) Sorry to say this but, i think a girl like this is not worth even though she is the most beautiful person in this world.
4) She needs to loosen that grip or else i guarantee you one day u will flare up.
5) Tolerate her till your death.
The first 4 are not SAFE suggestions which leads to breakup. For ways about making them stronger, eh i can't think of any based on what you have posted.
If you are choosing the 5th one, Good Luck!!! -
How old are both of u?
Ur gf sounds so childish. Sorry to say that
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Comparison is not healthy. Furthermore, what she heard from her other girls are most likely exaggerated good from their bf (exaggerated by the girl I mean) to sort of "show off". It's a very girl thing to me...Originally posted by akinos:2) Ask her what she meant by "You are not caring enough" and if she compares you with others(especially her ex), then tell her that YOU is YOU and OTHERS is OTHERS. Ask her what she really wants of you as a BF and make clear to her that you are already doing what you can. -
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Well.. if she compares. We will know that she can't bear to throw away her past BF or the girls around her are telling tales that not everyone can do it. Apparently, this is a difficult thing for most pple to handle...Originally posted by eagle:Comparison is not healthy. Furthermore, what she heard from her other girls are most likely exaggerated good from their bf to sort of "show off". It's a girl thing to me... -
sounds like someone who like to fa xiao jie pi qi
not bery mature
if u can tolerate, carry one
if u can't, talk it out with her, let her know u are tired and u need to rest......
if she flip the table, walk out. -
this phase will past one
have patience -
the problem is that u have spoilt her. women r just like dogs. must b tamed otherwise they run amok. u must know when to release n pull back the leash. if she behave herself reward her with yr banana, otherwise just ask her to use a carrot.
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You have insulted all the women in the worldOriginally posted by pompy:the problem is that u have spoilt her. women r just like dogs. must b tamed otherwise they run amok. u must know when to release n pull back the leash. if she behave herself reward her with yr banana, otherwise just ask her to use a carrot. -
i am 20 she's 19.
I will not give up, but hopefully she will understand...thanks for the reply guys. really got alot of suggestions. -
what i said is a fact. sometimes when u give in to much to women they take u for granted expect u to do this n that for her carry her fuc* bag etc. small matters blow out of proportion throw tantrums being a bitc* as though we cant do without them. WTF.
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Last time what I do when I send my gf home late, yet need to be back home a bit earlier so that mum won't scream:Originally posted by BakeInc:i am 20 she's 19.
I will not give up, but hopefully she will understand...thanks for the reply guys. really got alot of suggestions.
Send gf home by bus (can talk more and save money), then take cab rush home (to pacify mum) -
To say that they are like dogs IS NOT A FACT. Try shouting it loud or writing it into a book and publishing itOriginally posted by pompy:what i said is a fact. sometimes when u give in to much to women they take u for granted expect u to do this n that for her carry her fuc* bag etc. small matters blow out of proportion throw tantrums being a bitc* as though we cant do without them. WTF. -
the cab rush home part already burns up pocket and he does that for like 5 - 6 days a week stated in his post? And when he's only 20!!! His Mum will ban his life savings... ><Originally posted by eagle:Last time what I do when I send my gf home late, yet need to be back home a bit earlier so that mum won't scream:
Send gf home by bus (can talk more and save money), then take cab rush home (to pacify mum) -
The good thing is, she dun allow me to carry her bag unless it is really heavy.
Yes and i finally understood the sudden change of attitude. One of her classmate got a new bf and she keep talking abt her bf to her. GO where eat send home all sorts of things without fail.
i think the reason lies there..
are females easily influenced by peer as stated by some of u all? -
Occasionally I mean... What to do... Have to make both mum and gf happy of cuz hv to burn pocket sometimes...Originally posted by akinos:the cab rush home part already burns up pocket and he does that for like 5 - 6 days a week stated in his post? And when he's only 20!!! His Mum will ban his life savings... ><
Lucky for me I dun spend on CDs or anything else... -
yes.Originally posted by BakeInc:The good thing is, she dun allow me to carry her bag unless it is really heavy.
Yes and i finally understood the sudden change of attitude. One of her classmate got a new bf and she keep talking abt her bf to her. GO where eat send home all sorts of things without fail.
i think the reason lies there..
are females easily influenced by peer as stated by some of u all?
Especially when her friend is in honeymoon period... Everything her bf never do also become got do.
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Okie now i noe the reason, nvm at least i noe whats happening and it's not purely her fault.
The cab part still able to afford, she's a nice girl living in 21st century. We share cost of stuffs. Eat someone i treat sometimes she treat. Sometime i noe i have to be more gentleman so i treat but she will insist to pay me back. -
Of course, they get jealous and they want their BF to do the exact things!!! What to do... One day her jealousy will spoil ur relationship lor. Have a fail-safe plan as backup. =DOriginally posted by BakeInc:The good thing is, she dun allow me to carry her bag unless it is really heavy.
Yes and i finally understood the sudden change of attitude. One of her classmate got a new bf and she keep talking abt her bf to her. GO where eat send home all sorts of things without fail.
i think the reason lies there..
are females easily influenced by peer as stated by some of u all?