Good Parenting Skills-Eastern/Western
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Do you think that there are differences between Eastern and Western Parenting techniques?
Do you think that there are Good/Better and Bad/Worse Parenting techniques?
Is Parenting a Skill (that you can develop and get better at) or Instinct (everyong is naturally good at it)?
Do you think that just because the Parent/s wants the best for the child, they naturally knows what to do, how to bring up the child?
Do you think that people sub-consciously learn their Parenting techniques from their Parents and that most people do not make the effort to learn what is considered good Parenting skills / techniques?
How do you rate your parents' parenting skills and will you be better at it yourself?
some links to start the ball rolling:
http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/children/parents/behavior/368.html
http://www.parenting.org/
http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/parenting_tips/index.html
http://www.community.wa.gov.au/fcs/_content/parenting_information/tips/default.htm
http://www.chp.edu/parents/08c_posparent.php
Do you wish you have better parents? Do you wish you will be a better parent? -
Do you think that there are differences between Eastern and Western Parenting techniques?
Yes. Western techniques do not emphasize on filial piety and respect. They emphasize on individual rights. Eastern techniques tend to be pretty hierachial (?sp).
Do you think that there are Good/Better and Bad/Worse Parenting techniques?
No. There is no real answer because the child is the variable, and as in any strategy, techniques change because of the variables.
What is believed to be good in one household can be seen to be bad in another. However one thing is true: neglect will probably qualify as an absolutely bad parenting technique.
Is Parenting a Skill (that you can develop and get better at) or Instinct (everyong is naturally good at it)?
A little of both, and a hint of common sense wouldn't hurt. Many modern parents read parenting books and impliment wholesale, what is written, yet these parents do not apply common sense when dealing with their children.
Do you think that just because the Parent/s wants the best for the child, they naturally knows what to do, how to bring up the child?
No. Many parents think they want the best for the child, but the reality is they want to live off their own dreams. Therefore they make decisions based on what they think is best, but not necessarily in the interest of the child.
Do you think that people sub-consciously learn their Parenting techniques from their Parents and that most people do not make the effort to learn what is considered good Parenting skills / techniques?
Depends on the individual and their experiences in the past. Some will learn the techniques wholesale, others will modify, yet others will totally disagree with the techniques. I am not sure what statistics are we looking at.
How do you rate your parents' parenting skills and will you be better at it yourself?
I rate myself way better than average, obviously there is always room for improvement.
Do you wish you have better parents? Do you wish you will be a better parent?
Yes, but time is irrevisible. Yes, there is always room for improvement.
These comments are merely my opinion based on my experience. -
This comment...Originally posted by Chin Eng:Do you think that there are Good/Better and Bad/Worse Parenting techniques?No. There is no real answer because the child is the variable, and as in any strategy, techniques change because of the variables.
If the child falls in the normal range... (not retarded/autistic... and so on)... I believe that the good parenting techniques will work well on the child. All parents should learn good parenting techniques.
Humans on the whole, "believe in themselves" and their reasonings (common sense).
That is most unfortunate. There are good techniques (you need to develop skills to apply the techniques well) and parents should learn what these are and not depend on their own reasonings or common sense.
If what they believe is what the authorities say, then good. Otherwise, they should have a serious rethink as to the validity of their own "common" sense. That is contingent on the fact that they must know what the authorities recommend.
If they disagree with what the authorities recommend, then they must have valid reasons for disagreeing. That is why having a logical mind and knowing the rules of logic and knowing what makes a good argument is very important. If you decide to go with your "common sense" based on "poor arguments" in your own head, that is most unfortunate.
For example, a boss in a company can use his common sense in handling his workers or he can see what the best practices in HR Management are. If he decides to go with his common sense and he decided on that based on illogical and poor arguments, that would be most unfortunate.
In a small company, it might not be so important. In an big company, the consequences can be very drastic if the best practices of HR management are not implemented.
You cannot say, every worker is different and so, there is no need to implement the best practices of Human resource management in the company.
If you get an independent consultant in, he will be able to tell the boss, "This is the consequence of doing this and that and these are the consequences (consequences can be in the form of opportunity costs, hidden) of not doing that.
The boss will not be able to see it because people see things from their own subjective (inaccurate) point of view rather than an objective (more accurate) point of view.
It is better not to trust your own perspective and change your perspectives to those of recognized authorities in the field (need not be people but can be a list of best practices, for example)
Parenting involves the lives of your own children and if parents want to mess up their children's lives, (or is tida apa about giving the best for their own child/ren), that is the parents' prerogative and their responsibility.
I can only urge parents to learn the techniques of good parenting from recognized authorities rather than on their own common sense. There are many consequences that are hidden that people do not realize and cannot see. -
too long a post to comment.....Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:This comment...
You cannot say, every worker is different and so, there is no need to implement the best practices of Human resource management in the company.
just take up the above point....
would you say that different companies have different HR policies? that's what I am talking about. sure within the same company (household) the variables should not be a lot, and the HR policies (parenting skills) do not vary a great deal.
however, in the broad spectrum (which your questions seem to be heading), there is a great variant in the range of the relational dynamics.
therefore, on the issue of good/bad practices, my feel is that what is good in one household may not work in another purely because the child is different.
to some parents good practices means to allow a child to "express" himself in whatever ways he like because that will encourage the child to experiment in the hope that this child will grow faster.
to another set of parents, more rigid rules are enforced because these set of parents feel that to keep the child safe is of utmost importance.
nonetheless, are you asking because you are going to a father? or is this a platform to read opinions? -
This, in Aunt Agony?
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Originally posted by MooKu:This, in Aunt Agony?
I wanted to ask this question too.... but I was trying to be polite.... -
Why dosen't AndrewPKYap offer his own opinions first?
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if you must know, that is his standard operational procedure....Originally posted by Capricieux:Why dosen't AndrewPKYap offer his own opinions first? use to it already.
hopefully the response can fit into his own mindset, otherwise..... kapooov! but, as I'd said, use to it already. -
hahaha I thought that was obvious from my line of questioning...Originally posted by Capricieux:Why dosen't AndrewPKYap offer his own opinions first? -
Which they adept from the best practices of HR management or from their own beliefs and delusions?Originally posted by Chin Eng:too long a post to comment.....
just take up the above point....
would you say that different companies have different HR policies? -
Fair question but lack tact because poster does not explain why in his opinion, it should not be in AA but still better than:Originally posted by MooKu:This, in Aunt Agony?
Post made by an immature person, IMHO, can lead to flame war.Originally posted by Chin Eng: I wanted to ask this question too.... but I was trying to be polite....
This in AA because I am getting sick of those... "my parents are a pain in the ass" type of posts and I want to throw the ball into the parents' court. Many parents are just incompetent as parents. -
I dont think I can have vetter parents. SoOriginally posted by AndrewPKYap:Do you think that there are differences between Eastern and Western Parenting techniques?
I think there are differences between parenting techniques based on personalities. I don't think it should be categorised into 'eastern' or 'western' but that personalities are affected by cultural environment therefore the stereotype arises.
Do you think that there are Good/Better and Bad/Worse Parenting techniques?
Is Parenting a Skill (that you can develop and get better at) or Instinct (everyong is naturally good at it)?
I'ts a skill that you have to work hard at.
Do you think that just because the Parent/s wants the best for the child, they naturally knows what to do, how to bring up the child?
No they do not.
Do you think that people sub-consciously learn their Parenting techniques from their Parents and that most people do not make the effort to learn what is considered good Parenting skills / techniques?
I think parenting is 'on the job' training. sometimes, practising a set of parenting skills that is contrary to own personality can have worse results that if parents understand their own personality. Understanding SELF is a more important step than understanding theories.
How do you rate your parents' parenting skills and will you be better at it yourself?
No parents are perfect. But I feel that for what its worth, through my life I have always felt they loved me. That had formed the basis of my relationship with them which is good and that is the most important message I will wish to pass to my children.
Do you wish you have better parents? Do you wish you will be a better parent?
I would wish to do the best by them. -
There is a difference between good parenting skills, good parenting style, and good parenting techniques.
Knowing all the good techniques does not guarantee good results if techniques chosen are implemented without regard to parents' or child's personality.
Personality - like it or not - affect the execution and reception of techniques.
And in the end, it is a person's character and their understanding of themselves and their child that will give them the edge on parenting.
Most of all its their ability to love and demonstrate it effectively that will form the entire basis of their relationship with their child. And it is this which is the greatest problem in our current society where time has become a limited commodity.
Again - like it or not - nothing replaces time spent with the child as the biggest and most important factor in parenting.
Without love and time, theoretical knowledge becomes a useless crutch with nothing to stand on. -
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Do you think that there are differences between Eastern and Western Parenting techniques?
Quote ShrodingersCat: I think there are differences between parenting techniques based on personalities. I don't think it should be categorised into 'eastern' or 'western' but that personalities are affected by cultural environment therefore the stereotype arises.
I feel that there are very big cultural differences (and carried over into parenting) in Eastern and Western minds from my observations.
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Do you think that there are Good/Better and Bad/Worse Parenting techniques?
Is Parenting a Skill (that you can develop and get better at) or Instinct (everyong is naturally good at it)?
Quote ShrodingersCat: I'ts a skill that you have to work hard at.
and before you can work hard at it, you need to know what exactly constitute "good parenting"
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Do you think that just because the Parent/s wants the best for the child, they naturally knows what to do, how to bring up the child?
Quote ShrodingersCat: No they do not.
agreed
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Do you think that people sub-consciously learn their Parenting techniques from their Parents and that most people do not make the effort to learn what is considered good Parenting skills / techniques?
Quote ShrodingersCat: I think parenting is 'on the job' training. sometimes, practising a set of parenting skills that is contrary to own personality can have worse results that if parents understand their own personality. Understanding SELF is a more important step than understanding theories.
nevertheless, understanding SELF is almost impossible for some people and at the very least, take the effort to learn what "good parenting" is all about.
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How do you rate your parents' parenting skills and will you be better at it yourself?
Quote ShrodingersCat: No parents are perfect. But I feel that for what its worth, through my life I have always felt they loved me. That had formed the basis of my relationship with them which is good and that is the most important message I will wish to pass to my children.
That in my opinion is the biggest cop out why parents do not bother to learn good parenting skills... they always says: "but I love them... but I only want the best for them... but I am all sincerity...." Like Pink's song say: keep your dreams and just give me the money... (do the necessary and that is, equip yourself with parenting skills)
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Do you wish you have better parents? Do you wish you will be a better parent?
Quote ShrodingersCat: I dont think I can have vetter parents. So I would wish to do the best by them.
Noted. -
I hope this post is not suggesting that parents do not pick up good parenting techniques from reliable sources.Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:There is a difference between good parenting skills, good parenting style, and good parenting techniques.
Knowing all the good techniques does not guarantee good results if techniques chosen are implemented without regard to parents' or child's personality.
Personality - like it or not - affect the execution and reception of techniques.
And in the end, it is a person's character and their understanding of themselves and their child that will give them the edge on parenting.
Most of all its their ability to love and demonstrate it effectively that will form the entire basis of their relationship with their child. And it is this which is the greatest problem in our current society where time has become a limited commodity.
Again - like it or not - nothing replaces time spent with the child as the biggest and most important factor in parenting.
Without love and time, theoretical knowledge becomes a useless crutch with nothing to stand on. -
depends..... would you say that the kiln owners in Shanxi has "HR policies" coming from the own beliefs and delusion....Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Which they adept from the best practices of HR management or from their own beliefs and delusions? -
Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:
everything to you is flame bait hor.....
Post made by an immature person, IMHO, can lead to flame war.
This in AA because I am getting sick of those... "my parents are a pain in the a[b]ss" type of posts and I want to throw the ball into the parents' court. Many parents are just incompetent as parents.[/b]
you should have posted your reason from post 1. would have save lots of "flame baits" -
Originally posted by Chin Eng:depends..... would you say that the kiln owners in Shanxi has "HR policies" coming from the own beliefs and delusion.... How would anyone know if "kiln owners in Shanxi has "HR policies" coming from the own beliefs and delusion...." unless one look at their policies (if they have one) and compare it with the established HR Management practices.
How did this question even came up in your mind?
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sg parenting skills suck.
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I am attracted to this post because I, like many others, want to be a better parent.
But I must admit I am quite confused by the complicated and chim arguments of most of the posts here.
In my humble opinion, wherever you learn it from is immaterial:
what you learn and whether you want to learn is more important.
I think good parenting means instilling discipline,giving emotional support and lots of love to the child.
Sometimes to be a good parent, one must look within himself/herself first. Useful questions to ask are :
Do you lose your temper easily?
Did you shout at your child because you had a bad day at work, or did he do something really wrong that you need to shout at him?
Do you take an easy way out when your child makes a nuisance of himself/herself in public?
Some of the posts by Andrew and co did mention these in a general sense.
At the end of the day, we hope our children can grow up to be inspiring people and positive contributors to society. -
When a child makes a mistake e.g. making a nuisance of himself/herself in public, always make a point to explain why he/she is wrong, after the initial reprimanding.
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... abused workers?Originally posted by AndrewPKYap: How would anyone know if "kiln owners in Shanxi has "HR policies" coming from the own beliefs and delusion...." unless one look at their policies (if they have one) and compare it with the established HR Management practices.
How did this question even came up in your mind?
... unpaid salary?
... murdered workers?
... unrepentent employers who think that there is nothing wrong with such practices???? that it is within their rights as employers to ill-treat their employees???? doesn't this stem from their own beliefs and delusions?
this is merely an example to counter the misconception of a universally accepted concept of "HR policies".
HR policies, like parenting skills differ places to places.
It should be noted, however, that i did not bring in "HR" as an example. -
very sadly, not many parents are willing to do this.Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:When a child makes a mistake e.g. making a nuisance of himself/herself in public, always make a point to explain why he/she is wrong, after the initial reprimanding.
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I would say many parents are not even aware they have to do this... because the embarrassment/anger is overwhelming them.Originally posted by Chin Eng:very sadly, not many parents are willing to do this.
One good way is to detach oneself and try to see the situation from the child's point of view...
Many parents are actually very stressed up about their own lives to bother about the importance of discipline ... this, they have to manage it themselves.. -
I am of the opinion that these parents are not interested in disciplining their children, but I am not sure if it's because of their own stress or general apathy.Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:I would say many parents are not even aware they have to do this... because the embarrassment/anger is overwhelming them.
One good way is to detach oneself and try to see the situation from the child's point of view...
Many parents are actually very stressed up about their own lives to bother about the importance of discipline ... this, they have to manage it themselves..
I know of too many parents who feel that discipline is not important because their person axiom is "kids will be kids" and let these children run wild.
One ex-colleague told me that she WILL NOT discipline her children even though these children vandalise her house because that may stifle her children's creativity.