my boyfriend and me
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slap him and say 'knnb. i also got things to worry about'
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you just don't get it, do you?Originally posted by forumer84:bro,i said MAYBE the bf has low self esteem.Pls read more carefully first.
The prob now is the bf isnt solving others'problems. He is merely sharing them wif his gf. -
Sidetrack abit:Originally posted by galfriend:what would you do if your gf is constantly worried about problems everyday or every other day? after worrying about her own problems, she starts to worry about others' problems. it can happen the whole nite and a few nights a week. what would you do? wont you worry that she over worry?
And honestly, everyone needs to rest. after talking about his work problems for more than an hour after we meet everyday, then his friends problems, is it too much to ask for time to spend some quality time alone? or is it too much to ask for some time to rest (after spending 12 hours at work facing lots of stress, 1 to 2 hours listening to his day including problems and issues and frustrations from his workers). is it too much to ask for time to rest? And note, this is not a one-off incident. it happens everyweek, perhaps a couple of times a week at times.
You meet with your BF everyday? That includes saturday & sunday mah? Have you dedicate any time to your family? Or friends? Or yourself? -
we meet most of the days, unless when we work really late, then dont meet up. almost all our friends have become mutual friends. we hang out with friends regularly, no issue. as for family, i will say, no issue too.Originally posted by Bontakun:Sidetrack abit:
You meet with your BF everyday? That includes saturday & sunday mah? Have you dedicate any time to your family? Or friends? Or yourself? -
So, TS, what do you hope to achieve by telling us your problem with your bf? Do you hope that your bf will change for you? From what I see - unlikely. He is what he is. That is his character.
Since he is such an irritant to you by complaining or sharing his problems , which wasn't his, to you, why not dump him. That would then solve all your problem. You can find someone who don't burden you with his problems since you dislike so much of listening to them. -
Ah, but Galfriend, have you ascertained that your partner wants you to resolve these issues for him?Originally posted by galfriend:what would you do if your gf is constantly worried about problems everyday or every other day? after worrying about her own problems, she starts to worry about others' problems. it can happen the whole nite and a few nights a week. what would you do? wont you worry that she over worry?
if not, then why are you carrying his friends' problems on your shoulders? -
Wow. From this it seems that you 2 muz have known each other for quite some time or really well, to incorporate friends and family from respective sides into your lives.Originally posted by galfriend:we meet most of the days, unless when we work really late, then dont meet up. almost all our friends have become mutual friends. we hang out with friends regularly, no issue. as for family, i will say, no issue too.
Is yr BF like this (worry about other ppl's issues) before you 2 even start dating? -
yes, he was. we actually have known each other a long while b4 getting together, but was never close, though all along i know he can be a really great friend.Originally posted by Bontakun:Wow. From this it seems that you 2 muz have known each other for quite some time or really well, to incorporate friends and family from respective sides into your lives.
Is yr BF like this (worry about other ppl's issues) before you 2 even start dating? -
We had a chat this morning, when we were casually chatting.
Told him my thoughts on this. explained that it is very unhealthy for him to constantly burdened himself with all the problems, and of cos, that will inturn affect all others around him.
Suggested to him that he should only think about problems that can be resolved, those that he cant, shouldnt be too burdened. and there is a time to worry, but there should also be a time to relax. so dont worry all the time. he accepted that verbally. so we had an agreement, whenever he thinks of problems excessively, i will remind him not to think. hope that works!