involve with someone
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Thanks ivp for your advice.. I have sinned and I am guilty, without doubt.. This feelings cause me to be haywire.. I admit I wish to possess AA.. Her relationships with her guy frds do make me jealous.. I guess its the work of my ego.. I seriously needs to sort up myself..Originally posted by ispyyy:Since u r the one tat post yr problems, we should give advice tat is from yr view point...
First thing, u need to clear yr guilt... U have to understand tat there is no right and wrong in this world... U r not the only one in this world tat have such situation... It is just tat this situation are not proud to be declared by others ><
What u dont find in yr gf, u find them in AA... Tat is the reason on y u involve with her... But, is tat what u really want ??? U have to think what u really want
U need to clear yr guilt towards yr gf... Coz, end of the day, u dont be with a girl because of guilt... It will only cause u and the girl to suffer if it is because of guilt. U be with the girl because u love her. U have to think y do u love yr gf???
And lastly, think for yrself... Dont think for yr gf's feelings or AA's feelings... Make decision for yrself... Coz, ultimately the decision tat u make for yrself, benefit all parties...
Of coz, if it is TS's gf post her story here, the advice will be different too...
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If you find yourself falling in love again, just let go all of your rational thoughts, drop yourself deeply into the realms of love and allow the uncertaincies factors to guide you through.Originally posted by haywir:Hi.. Will appreciate forumers' comments.. I am 25 yrs, attach with my girlfriend for 2 yrs.. Recently, i got involve with a 20yrs lady.. She is a student.. Lets call her AA.. The lust and excitement got AA and me involve in a relationship.. We meet, hv sex, chat, etc.. She is very open-minded to our "relationship".. Both of us accepted the non-committment aspect of our "relationship".. However, I am the one who is terribly troubled now.. I have gradually become emotionally attach to her.. I do not feel good abt her mentioning her guy frds, the dates she had, etc.. Remember, it was me who does not want emotional attachment in the very beginning, and I am the one falling into it now.. AA is handling our relatinoship much better than me.. I know I will never have the heart to break off with my gf for AA.. Yet, this "feelings of the heart" with AA is making me haywire.. Guess it is indeed true with the advice of, "never get involve with having a mistress".. I thanks you in advance for any serious comments and advices...
Ultimately, both might not be "The One" for you cos if one of them is really "The One", then you wouldn't be having this moral dilemma.
As much as I hate to reveal this, girls also keep a lookout for better guys even when they are happily attached. Cos nobody can be 100% sure that the guy that you're with at the moment is "The One" for you. -
TS, can you feel the genuine love from AA? She have sex with you because she loves you.
Well, I don't really know her background. So there are 2 possibility. Either she really loves you, or she is a sperm toilet. -
Originally posted by haywir:I love my gf and I treat her the best that I can.. I know if I end it with my gf over her, I will nv be the same.. I will be forever guilty, like Judas.. Nevertheless, I admit I am a Basta## to get involve with AA.. The lust makes me sin..
EH forum. -
Sperm toilet is a very rude expression...Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:TS, can you feel the genuine love from AA? She have sex with you because she loves you.
Well, I don't really know her background. So there are 2 possibility. Either she really loves you, or she is a sperm toilet. -
I apologise if anyone feel offended. Sorry.Originally posted by parn:Sperm toilet is a very rude expression... -
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=259363
Hope this might help in understanding who you really love now. -
Sorry if this may sound offensive, but looking at AA's behaviour, i don't reckon she could be a reliable gf material... She might be too much for you to take if you both do get attached...Originally posted by haywir:Hi.. Will appreciate forumers' comments.. I am 25 yrs, attach with my girlfriend for 2 yrs.. Recently, i got involve with a 20yrs lady.. She is a student.. Lets call her AA.. The lust and excitement got AA and me involve in a relationship.. We meet, hv sex, chat, etc.. She is very open-minded to our "relationship".. Both of us accepted the non-committment aspect of our "relationship".. However, I am the one who is terribly troubled now.. I have gradually become emotionally attach to her.. I do not feel good abt her mentioning her guy frds, the dates she had, etc.. Remember, it was me who does not want emotional attachment in the very beginning, and I am the one falling into it now.. AA is handling our relatinoship much better than me.. I know I will never have the heart to break off with my gf for AA.. Yet, this "feelings of the heart" with AA is making me haywire.. Guess it is indeed true with the advice of, "never get involve with having a mistress".. I thanks you in advance for any serious comments and advices...
And by doing this to your gf behind her back is very unfair to her you know? YOu wouldn't want her to do this behind you also right?
It's your choice, whatever you do, try not to hurt anyone, and yourself ba...
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Hi darkness.. Well, I am certain AA does not love me.. The dilemna is with me.. The start of our "relationship" was agreed upon of companionship, lust, no-strings, no-commitment etc.. The fault is with my heart, for not adhering to the rules of the "relationship".. This should be call emotional weakness I guess..Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:TS, can you feel the genuine love from AA? She have sex with you because she loves you.
Well, I don't really know her background. So there are 2 possibility. Either she really loves you, or she is a sperm toilet. -
You should cherish the person infront of you now. What has happened had happened. Treat it as a lesson, and don't make the same mistake again.Originally posted by haywir:Hi darkness.. Well, I am certain AA does not love me.. The dilemna is with me.. The start of our "relationship" was agreed upon of companionship, lust, no-strings, no-commitment etc.. The fault is with my heart, for not adhering to the rules of the "relationship".. This should be call emotional weakness I guess..
Probably what you can do now is to go check for HIV or STD. -
Thanks Delp.. What you had said is really true.. I should not even feel jealous or what, over her contacts with her guy friends.. They can be so imitate be it in smsing that it sort of disturb my ego.. I know I should not feel that way.. As to my gf, yes.. I have sinned big time..Originally posted by Delphian:Sorry if this may sound offensive, but looking at AA's behaviour, i don't reckon she could be a reliable gf material... She might be too much for you to take if you both do get attached...
And by doing this to your gf behind her back is very unfair to her you know? YOu wouldn't want her to do this behind you also right?
It's your choice, whatever you do, try not to hurt anyone, and yourself ba... -
I just spend some time reading it.. Indeed it is enlightening.. Thank you for sharing..Originally posted by popikachu:http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=259363
Hope this might help in understanding who you really love now. -
AA is just a cheap meaningless fling.
You already have something good going, why settle for someone like her? -
Perhaps when you see other guys being around her, you don't feel good, coz you might feel that you're sharing her?
But if you could have her all to yourself, would you want her as much anymore?
And do you really love your gf? Why are you like more occupied about AA's feelings towards you than how much you have let your gf down?
I'm a girl, so i dun really knw how guys feel... For me, i think that if i have a bf i really love, i wouldn't even think of sleeping with someone else... but again, like i said, im a girl... -
Yes, to say it cruely, AA is for just a fling.. Due to my "lousy" emotional, the fling is turning to one that I wish for possession of her.. Damn it me.. I am lousy in my emotion.. Maybe I am just not cut up to be a "player".. You know, AA will not feel anything if we end our "relationship".. Its so ironic that me, a guy, will feel sad if i end it with AA.. I guess she handled it very well..Originally posted by Pion:AA is just a cheap meaningless fling.
You already have something good going, why settle for someone like her? -
You wanted to be a player? Is that for your ego to score with many girls?
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i felt bad for ur gf...
even if u end it wif ur gf..u sure AA will accept u? probably she has already labelled u as a unfaithful jerk, currently her "toy boy"..someone to play wif not to get serious wif.. -
Yes, AA may not accept me to be her bf.. In fact, she has someone in mind.. Her perspective of our relationship, is what you had mentioned.. The prob lies with me that gradually, I find myself being emotionally attached to her.. Sucks.. I will not break off with my gf for her.. I cant handle it and I will never be the same me, if I do it.. The "judas act" will haunt me for life.. Morally, I will not bear to too.. I guess I have lose in the game.. Sometimes, I admire her for handling it so much better than me.. I am suppose to be the guy, to be the one to "do it and get over with".. I may be a big-time basta## in some of yours' eyes.. And I apologise for it.. I am sorry...Originally posted by lakopi:i felt bad for ur gf...
even if u end it wif ur gf..u sure AA will accept u? probably she has already labelled u as a unfaithful jerk, currently her "toy boy"..someone to play wif not to get serious wif.. -
Say sorry to your gf.
Nothing says sorry much more sincerely than 2 years p-memberships
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Originally posted by haywir:Hi.. Will appreciate forumers' comments.. I am 25 yrs, attach with my girlfriend for 2 yrs.. Recently, i got involve with a 20yrs lady.. She is a student.. Lets call her AA.. The lust and excitement got AA and me involve in a relationship.. We meet, hv sex, chat, etc.. She is very open-minded to our "relationship".. Both of us accepted the non-committment aspect of our "relationship".. However, I am the one who is terribly troubled now.. I have gradually become emotionally attach to her.. I do not feel good abt her mentioning her guy frds, the dates she had, etc.. Remember, it was me who does not want emotional attachment in the very beginning, and I am the one falling into it now.. AA is handling our relatinoship much better than me.. I know I will never have the heart to break off with my gf for AA.. Yet, this "feelings of the heart" with AA is making me haywire.. Guess it is indeed true with the advice of, "never get involve with having a mistress".. I thanks you in advance for any serious comments and advices... The sad plight you have landed yourself into is probably because there's an aperture in your relationship. Perhaps you reckon your relationship is unfulfilling or that your relationship is too calm for its own good and subconsciously, you 'summon' waves to jazz up your love life.
You may think that sounded illogical, but people does that sort of things all the time.
It's because our experience in love is never stagnant. In fact, we face challenges every moment of our life.
You may think that this woman represents non-committed/somewhat free sexual relationship (AOS will likely attribute her as a Siren), but the truth is that her presence presents a cosmic test, which you failed utterly - judged by the strength of your love towards your girlfriend and the relationship. The flesh may be weak, but surely the flesh is the lowest level of all our higher senses. If the mind, heart and soul can be easily dominated by our animalistic instinct (Mars), which is the lowest level in our human consciousness 'chain of command', then the path you walk will surely lead to misery and sorrow.
To understand the driving force behind your decision to betray your girlfriend, you got to first understand whether was it a push or a pull factor. The former represents a fissure in the relationship, while employing an avoidance-defensive mechanism in respond to this crack and the latter represents flaccid self principles devoid of wisdom.
Eventually, you may just decide that your 'mistress' is the woman you are seeking all these while. But as you reach for her heart and find nothing but illusions, it may just dawn on you that you are just become a pawn of own karmic debts.
I pity your woman, not because you are a man who went astray, but rather, you betrayed her in both levels - physically and emotionally. A woman might be able to source some remote reason/s to salvage a relationship if a man loses one aspect among the two, but certainly not both - because it makes no meaning to retain a man who desire to flee and a man like you supply her no reason to stay.
Perhaps you might want to rethink your situation; albeit holding onto your girlfriend may be the best of both world for you, but such selfish grasp onto her may end up tearing your guilt wounds wider.
I can safety say that chances are, you won't be able to convert that Siren to settle for you exclusively. Your contract with her never had that clause and you are probably just like the many other guys she had sexual fling with. Therefore, what makes you think that just because she got into bed with you, it implies that you have power over her?
P.S: Man are often lost when the tables are turned against them, as they become the prey, completely subdued a woman with voracious sexual appetite.
Cheers -
why apologise to us...Originally posted by haywir:Yes, AA may not accept me to be her bf.. In fact, she has someone in mind.. Her perspective of our relationship, is what you had mentioned.. The prob lies with me that gradually, I find myself being emotionally attached to her.. Sucks.. I will not break off with my gf for her.. I cant handle it and I will never be the same me, if I do it.. The "judas act" will haunt me for life.. Morally, I will not bear to too.. I guess I have lose in the game.. Sometimes, I admire her for handling it so much better than me.. I am suppose to be the guy, to be the one to "do it and get over with".. I may be a big-time basta## in some of yours' eyes.. And I apologise for it.. I am sorry... guilt will swallow us... turn the guilt into some thing worthwhile..like be faithful to ur gf from now on? -
Hold it.. she has someone in mind and she still having sex with other guys. Who knows you might just be one of those sex-buddies?Originally posted by haywir:Yes, AA may not accept me to be her bf.. In fact, she has someone in mind.. Her perspective of our relationship, is what you had mentioned.. The prob lies with me that gradually, I find myself being emotionally attached to her.. Sucks.. I will not break off with my gf for her.. I cant handle it and I will never be the same me, if I do it.. The "judas act" will haunt me for life.. Morally, I will not bear to too.. I guess I have lose in the game.. Sometimes, I admire her for handling it so much better than me.. I am suppose to be the guy, to be the one to "do it and get over with".. I may be a big-time basta## in some of yours' eyes.. And I apologise for it.. I am sorry...
Wow she's sure some horny girl. Some guy in bar asked if girls are just as horny, well this proves it. Girls can have sex with guys they don't even have any romantic feelings for.
Actually inside you know the answer yourself if she's good relationship material. It's either you cut off ties with her and not enjoy the free sex and continue your relationship with your girl while you keep your mouth shut or you risk losing both girls at the same time.
doko -
Who says by agreeing this is a no strings attached relationship in the beginning means the deal has already been sealed with AA? Unless, of course, at 20, AA is already smart enough not to get serious with a cheating man. Heathens know their own kinds very well.Originally posted by haywir:Hi.. Will appreciate forumers' comments.. I am 25 yrs, attach with my girlfriend for 2 yrs.. Recently, i got involve with a 20yrs lady.. She is a student.. Lets call her AA.. The lust and excitement got AA and me involve in a relationship.. We meet, hv sex, chat, etc.. She is very open-minded to our "relationship".. Both of us accepted the non-committment aspect of our "relationship".. However, I am the one who is terribly troubled now.. I have gradually become emotionally attach to her.. I do not feel good abt her mentioning her guy frds, the dates she had, etc.. Remember, it was me who does not want emotional attachment in the very beginning, and I am the one falling into it now.. AA is handling our relatinoship much better than me.. I know I will never have the heart to break off with my gf for AA.. Yet, this "feelings of the heart" with AA is making me haywire.. Guess it is indeed true with the advice of, "never get involve with having a mistress".. I thanks you in advance for any serious comments and advices...
It is actually very simple.
Since ending the affair with AA doesn't seem like an option because you're already sexually and emotionally attached/stimulated, you can either choose to:
A) Leave your girlfriend and pursue AA romantically because you won't know until you give it a shot. Fair to your girlfriend, fair to yourself, fair to AA.
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B) Unless it's an unspoken agreement, you can always propose an open relationship with your current girlfriend because in this way, you don't have to feel guilty and you may get the best of both worlds. Sustain the sexual relationship with AA. Sustain emotional relationship with your girlfriend. Fair to yourself, fair to AA, fair to your girlfriend.
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C) Continue with your girlfriend and pursue AA romantically and bed both simultaneously. If AA responds to you romantically, you can then leave your girlfriend and be with AA. If AA rejects your advances, you still have the girlfriend and you revert to shagging AA.
Life goes back to normal but at least you gave it a shot with AA.
If AA responds to you romantically, you juggle both women... if you know how to, that is.
If you don't know how to juggle, 25 is a good age to start learning. If you are too moral to juggle, this game is clearly not for you. Find a good woman and marry, start a family and go to church. Stop whining.
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If I were you, I'd leave the girlfriend. Leave AA. Leave the heavy love problems. Find more women to fornicate with. Really the world is very big out there. Plenty of mouths to kiss. Plenty of p*ssy to lick. Many more women will love you very much later on in your life. Stories like yours is nothing new.
Since AA is 20 and your girlfriend is at most 25 like yourself, all 3 of you have nothing much to lose. At this age, all 3 of you are still finding out about yourselves. Time is on your side. Everything is fair play.
Just keep your options open.
Practice safe sex.
Get yourself tested.
Be damned if you pass anything to your girlfriend. Be damned if you give her herpes. Be damned if you knock any of both up.
Seriously if your girlfriend catches anything from your dalliances, I say she is f*cking suay. Just her goddamn luck. You guys have your fun. Just don't corrupt her with whatever poison you catch.
And leave the back door open. No pun intended.
Bolt when necessary. -
seriously, can i ask the reason why u are posting this in Aunt agony is because u felt guilty u let your gf down? or because u felt lousy over AA not feeling the same way about u?
cos i think u are making it sound like u are more worried about what AA is doing to u.
if that is, then u are beyond hope.
up to this point, u still dun realise the amount of hurt u are doing to ur gf.
give it a thought! jerk. -
hayware.....
if you can't control ur emotions and to continue playing,well,go ahead and play some more,one day,one fine day......you will get caught by ur current gf,she will break up with u,and you will go back to AA....and AA will play back at you and whenever u are at a relationship,you will be the one who is hurt,not the girls.....carry on to be jealous and sinful please.....