It can be everything a long term committed relationship is except for one thing, both sides are free to go into a long term committed relationship with someone else.Originally posted by shirurinu:To cut a long story short, I'm involved with a guy of a different race in a non-commitmental relationship. We are both single (It's what he claims)
We started early June this yr. He claims that his gf has left him in april when he decided to return a job which requires very much of his time. I asked him, what's he looking for? He says he's not ready of commitment. He has his fears, but it's not a one-off thing with me. So it's not a non-commitmental relationship right.
It was ok to me at that point of time, as i also work long hours and i have my own life too. But whats the boundaries of a non-commitmental relationship? Because some of his actions have been making me very confused about non-commitmental relationship. Sometimes he makes me feel like he's a bf, yet sometimes i just feel like a friend. I did ever ask him before, "what am i to u?"
He said that i have a special place in his heart and he did not sms or call his other girl frens as often. But he has his fears too
I shall not elaborate what the actions are as it's going to be novel. But probably you guys can share what do you think of non-commitmental relationship and how it shud be.
Originally posted by Devil1976:We are in no position to tell whether he is insincere or sincere, player or non-player, genuinely hurt and suffering from a rebound or not.
PS. I PERSONALLY [b]DISAGREE with what some of the forumites have mentioned about this guy not being sincere and all that... I think it'll simply be too early to tell, and surface to deduce at this point... Though they might be right about their 'guess', I would also like to think there's a chance that this guy is genuinely not sure or having emotional baggage... That might render him less suitable to go into a relationship at this point, but not enough to condemn him nor to go on a personality attack on him.[/b]
"a prostitute gets paid by having sex..."Originally posted by Pommes frites:simple.He wants to be intimate with you but doesnt want the responsibility.
(sorry to say something hurtful but at least a prostitute gets paid by having sex.you get what i mean?)
drop this guy off...hes not worth it.seriously..![]()
That's where you are wrong in certain ways.Originally posted by cutangle:it is really very hard to walk away when you're really attracted to someone, even when the deal you are going to get is shitty. harder if you are not a player.
somehow i feel that it is just not possible for the TS to reject the guy just like that. meeting someone new is about the only way she is going to be able to break away. this is speaking from my own experience right now.
i can put myself in her shoes: it is probably not entirely without commitment. the guy might have said she is the only gal in his heart right now. he might really mean it when he say he needs time to recover from his previous r/s. what if she walks away and missed a great chance?
That's a fresh perspective.Originally posted by cutangle:it is really very hard to walk away when you're really attracted to someone, even when the deal you are going to get is shitty. harder if you are not a player.
somehow i feel that it is just not possible for the TS to reject the guy just like that. meeting someone new is about the only way she is going to be able to break away. this is speaking from my own experience right now.
i can put myself in her shoes: it is probably not entirely without commitment. the guy might have said she is the only gal in his heart right now. he might really mean it when he say he needs time to recover from his previous r/s. what if she walks away and missed a great chance?
Are you saying the current generation of early 20s and below don't know what's love and what's not? If so, do you mean it has anything got to do with MTV, or just plain stress?Originally posted by BadzMaro:I think the MTV generation and below n the future kiddies are gonna have a pretty 'f*ked' up relationships and a warped concept of what is called love and whats not.![]()
Assumption??????????????Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:I sometimes do feel that while all the advice here are well-meaning, too many assumptions are being made.
Most of us assume that the guy is a player. Maybe he's genuine but needs some time to get over his previous r/s. Okay, maybe the chances of him being genuine are slim, given the sheer numbers of jerks you girls have seen out there. Hey, there are guys out there who are good. Maybe the previous r/s took the wind out of him, and he's left with nothing but bitter memories.
We also dont know how much TS likes that guy, and whether she's risk-taking or risk-averse. It's almost like an investment. Sell and walk away, and miss out on a potentially great relationship. Hold, and risk getting hurt or seeing your relationship blossom with love.
To TS,
I think what almost everyone can agree here, at the risk of stating the obvious, is that the current situation is not very desirable.
It's really up to you to decide what kind of character that guy has. Maybe close friends' objective opinions can help there, because love is "blind".
And decide if he is really only a indecisive guy or a commitment-averse jerk.
Good luck!
Originally posted by Ionlytalknoaction:Maybe the term "uncommitted" itself can refer to indecisiveness or the uncommitted type you are talking about.
Assumption??????????????
I bet my life with you that any guys who get into a[b] uncommited relationships are definitely a player.
Yes I bet with my life to prove that point.
This is not an assumption.
It's logic.
And sometimes love are irrational.[/b]
I still don't get your point of agrument.Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:Maybe the term "uncommitted" itself can refer to indecisiveness or the uncommitted type you are talking about.
If it's the latter, I fully agree with you.
Maybe TS's guy is purely indecisive. And that is not too unreasonable a possibility for someone who has just ended a relationship. And we don't know how long that relationship was, and the history of that guy.
Do you see a difference from maybe your counsin or parents time down to you? Are there any differences ? and do you see any other future differences in terms of relationships and love.Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:Are you saying the current generation of early 20s and below don't know what's love and what's not? If so, do you mean it has anything got to do with MTV, or just plain stress?
By the way, just curious, what is love to you, and what is not love to you?
Practices change, principles don'tOriginally posted by BadzMaro:Do you see a difference from maybe your counsin or parents time down to you? Are there any differences ? and do you see any other future differences in terms of relationships and love.
What was acceptable before is acceptable now. What was appropriate before is not appropriate now.
MTV is just a marker at where we define a drastic change in social behaviour from the previous years to the years ahead as it did greatly influence the minds of the future generation. Just like how technology influenced our behaviour in the business world.
And your questino to me what is love to me and what is not love.
Its a tough one...mmmm.. maybe the only time i will truly know the feeling and meaning of love is when i lose it.
Well u better pray to God that ur practices wont affect your principles. Because principles dont change , but whether it is adopted or not.Originally posted by royale9:Practices change, principles don't
Well all i have to say is all the best and good luck any doubts better clear it now like what is you to him...Ya..If not things start complicated..not only so maybe not only 1 may get hurt in the processOriginally posted by shirurinu:I have a feeling it's gonna be me.. coz i take things too seriously... even in a non-commitmental relationship, i treat him too sincerely... and i know i'm expecting something which i'm not supposed to...