When a guy says..
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100 post !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I am glad you understand you are in a pathetic plightOriginally posted by shirurinu:I'm not asking anyone to be sympathetic to me.. or care or concern. I was just simply asking about general opinions and boundaries about non-commitmental relationships. You dun even have to feel sad if i die.. Coz i won't die..
If i am childish, I would like clung to him like a koala bear or make a scene in front of everybody.
If you really ask me do i believe in true love?
Then do u know what is the definition of TRUE love?
I believe in love... and when i'm in love, I'm true to that person. But when the love is lost, we'll go seperate ways... But can u deny that my love wasn't true?
Even if i got hurt in the end, I dun blame anyone. Cause i know that it's my consequenses to bear . I do not need u to come and tell me the pathetic plight i am in. Thank you v much
=P
As for definition of true love, I believe it lies in the eyes of the beholder.
Just like a beauty.
Each and everyone of us has its own defintion of true love.
Mine definition of true love is long & lasting till both of us gets old.
A true love is one that withstand hardship and time trials.
Yours is love for a while, lost the love and then said it was a true love.
We are different people with different defintions of true love. -
urs is love of a lifetime...Originally posted by Ionlytalknoaction:I am glad you understand you are in a pathetic plight
=P
As for definition of true love, I believe it lies in the eyes of the beholder.
Just like a beauty.
Each and everyone of us has its own defintion of true love.
Mine definition of true love is long & lasting till both of us gets old.
A true love is one that withstand hardship and time trials.
Yours is love for a while, lost the love and then said it was a true love.
We are different people with different defintions of true love. -
Woah. lol .Originally posted by BadzMaro:I do not disagree with him or your points . . But justice for instance vigilante justice or justice from the law? So i am just saying that it does affect our mindset and principles .
Well i understand your points hope you get what i was trying to say ya. In the end of the day. . One thing will always affect another in some way.
Sorry side track back abit.
Ordinaryguy32 pretty much grasped the idea behind it.
I'm referring to timeless principles for success, love, happiness, war, health, business, etc.
To name a couple of simple examples.
Say for instances, the principles of war.
Although there are somewhat different versions of the principles of war, changing in time and from country to country, and between various theoreticians, but generally speaking, there is little practical difference between the version of Sun Tzu, who lived about 2500 years ago, and the most updated official version of modern Army. This leads to the further definition of those principles as the timeless principles of war. You will be amazed to discover that the principles which were so true in the age of the sword and arrow are still so true in the age of computerized guided weapons.
Or say for instances, the principles of effective living. Maybe a simple illustration for effective living is to inculcate a hackneyed proverb like "Don't cry over spilt milk." into your life. I know its a trite, commonplace, and a platitude. But I also know that this hackneyed proverb contains the very essence of distilled wisdom of all ages. They have come out of the fiery experience of the human race and have been handed down through countless generations.
I think you get the idea - that proven principles are applicable in any age, era, timeline.... despite the changes in practices and beliefs. (With some exceptions)
As for that question on justice, I find it hard to answer as well, but my view is this: Justice operates on the principles that man is basically good, that a person of good intent should not be harmed, and one should treat others as one would like to be treated. It includes the notion of procedural fairness. Thus laws are made to protect ourselves, and our way of life.
Hmmm.. not a very satisfactory answer I believe. Anyway that's my view.
Badzmaro, I understand what you mean like in the case where some arbiter decides to impose a principle on his people and that can inadvertently affect their mindsets.
Ya true. I get what you mean.
As to applying it to the discussion where the future generations' perception of love is concerned. I would say that the chances of the future generations to be governed by a dictator, who deliberately limits the freedom and inhibits the choices of the people thus affecting the principles of love, is really slim. (At least for singapore)
Anyway, I prefer to focus on the things within one's control than things that one has no control over.
CHeers
Ok. Better not hi-jack topic.
Back to TS's prob.
LOL -
too long....
i didnt read at all lol. -
1) Prospective husband
2) F*ck buddy
3) Non-commital relationship
Which is the odd one out here? Non-commital relationship, of course. Why, you ask?
The first two clearly state the terms by defining what applies. The last option is an attempt to define something by what it isn't.
To put it another way, I'm thinking of a colour now, and it's not purple. What colour is it?
You can run through millions of colours and still not get it right because you're trying to work out the infinite number of possibilities of what it isn't, instead of cutting through the crap and getting down to working out what it is.
Is life really that long that you've got the time to pissfart about trying to work out what this relationship isn't? -
Those who are comfortably attached, not in love or don't need a relationship will pick 2 because they will feel that it is the most rational choice.Originally posted by shirurinu:If given u a choice
1) Someone you like very much but ambiguous
2) Someone who likes you very much, but you dun feel a thing for him/her and you know feelings are not going to come.
What would you choose?
Actually I can anticipate all the responses " stupid gal... What are feelings... being loved is better than loving"
I've said that to others too... but feelings can't be controlled. The more i wanna run away, the more my feet got stuck to where i am..
But those who are in similar situation like me will straight away pick 1.
I think picking 2 is cheating someone of their feelings since u know u're gonna split the moment someone u're really interested in comes along!
Yes, a player can show a lot of concern for a gal he is planning to pump and dump. I have some very good looking player friends and they employ the same tactics to woo gals.Originally posted by shirurinu:As what i've mentioned in my earlier posts, I agree that my feelings got more intense.
In the beginning everything was fine, but he'll always ask me where am i, asking to go back and home and rest, dun go party, dun always go home late etc.
He can even tell me straight in the face " go back straight and rest."
Is that what a guy in a non-commitmental relationship tell the gal? I thought there's not supposed to be in this way? -
MASTER! Teach me how to lessen the feelings i have for my non-committed gal!Originally posted by Ionlytalknoaction:PS: If I really like someone and the beautiful, sexy, hot girl with big boobs offer me non-commitment relationship.
I rather love an ugly,pimpled-face woman who treat each and every relationships of hers seriously.
Yes I do like the girl for non-commitment relationship.
I do desire her in any way possible.
However, ask yourself.
Do you want a true love?
or
Do you want to keep hoping for a true love?
I agree with you.
Love is blind and irrationale.
However, You need to have mature and logical minds to handle love.
You are immature in every way.
Feelings cannot be controlled but they can be lessened.
I will repeat myself again. If you do get hurt, nobody would really care unless there is still some good people around or that you can offer people something good in return.
I sorry to say this. You are childish in everyway. I do love girls who are child-like. However, childish girl are a pain in the butttt.
Imagine a childish kid screamming in the middle of the road and you know what I mean. That kid also cannot controlled his feelings. I think that is plain childish. -
well, i can understand how you feel..
when u love somebody deep deep, u will want to be with him no matter what.. even if he loves someone else, even if he dun want/cannot commit to you.. you will still want to hold on.. bcos what matters is that u love him.
silly girl..
few things i would like to highlight to you.. you need not reply, but you better think about it..
1) His ex left him in April, and he got hooked with you in June. Don't you think it's a bit too fast? Has he got over the past r/s? Or did the girl mean anything to him at all? Worse, does he treat you like a substitute?
2) If he told you that he fears... he cannot commit.. then what about those actions? If he is true about you, if he dun want to hurt you.. I believe he wun get physical with you.
3) If he really loves you, he will want to commit to you. Have you asked him what are his fears? -
April to June is about 2 months. If you say it is too fast, then how long is not too fast? It is going to be August soon, going to be 4 months already. I also dunno how fast is not too fast.Originally posted by browniebaobao:
1) His ex left him in April, and he got hooked with you in June. Don't you think it's a bit too fast? Has he got over the past r/s? Or did the girl mean anything to him at all? Worse, does he treat you like a substitute?
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side thread abit, xiner, ur guy friend an angmoh?
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i duno abt u, and i duno abt others too..Originally posted by cutangle:April to June is about 2 months. If you say it is too fast, then how long is not too fast? It is going to be August soon, going to be 4 months already. I also dunno how fast is not too fast.
but i cant possibly get over a r/s in 2 months. -
agree me tooOriginally posted by browniebaobao:i duno abt u, and i duno abt others too..
but i cant possibly get over a r/s in 2 months.
huggiz... -
my advice :Originally posted by shirurinu:Thanks for all your replies...
I agree that as i unknowingly got myself emotionally attached to this relationship, the more i start to expect more from him.
But because i know that it's a non commitmental relationship, i force and convince my mind to stop thinking abt this guy.
If you ask me do i want to have a future with him, i hope i can. But i know it's gonna be difficult, coz there's a cultural difference between us. We are of a different race, so I know even if we get together, things are not going to be a bed of roses. But knowing what kind of person, i know i can brave things through, but will he?
Rationally i know i should let go, but emotionally i can't and i know deep down, I dun wan to .. at this moment.
I thought of talking things out... but is it really the best way? He can just lie his way through isn't it...
wait and see.
Since all your post only shows us how much you love him and he does not want or request for you to sleep with him then is all right.
you are too in love liao lar nothing we do or say can change your mind.
So I will not bother anyway.
If you suffer or find happiness so be it. This is the path you have chosen so why regret or not? -
Originally posted by zeny:agree me too
huggiz...
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No la... not angmoh guysOriginally posted by 798:side thread abit, xiner, ur guy friend an angmoh? -
yes true tt he can lie his way thru, but since u can't let go, i suppose e best way for u is still to hv a talk with him n tell him abt ur feelings, n if he still wans a non-commitment relationship, ask him wat he means by non-commitment relationship, n if it sounds ok to u, stick to it, I know it's hard, but if u choose to continue u hv to learn to control over ur feelings no matter how hard it is, if not it would be better for you to give this guy up.Originally posted by shirurinu:I thought of talking things out... but is it really the best way? He can just lie his way through isn't it...
Good news, by showing "concern" abt ur whereabouts we can sort of know wat kind of a man he is alre with a simple test.Originally posted by shirurinu:In the beginning everything was fine, but he'll always ask me where am i, asking to go back and home and rest, dun go party, dun always go home late etc.
He can even tell me straight in the face " go back straight and rest."
Is that what a guy in a non-commitmental relationship tell the gal? I thought there's not supposed to be in this way?
It either shows tat his feelings for you is genuine or he is using you.
Try this little test.
*Go hv a talk wif him n confide wif him ur feelings, tell him everything.
-If he tries to give *(any)reasons n refuse any commitment, he's obviously playing you. Dump him straightaway.
-But if he accepts n decides e 2 of you should be tgt, good news, the chances of him lying to you is much much lower. You can accept him with a bit of caution.
Btw WHO can tell me wat is a NON-COMMITMENT RELATIONSHIP?
-A relationship where the gal and the guy are not allowed to ask each other's whereabts?
-Allowed to go after anyone they fancy during this period?
-Dun tell me it's for sex ok..
If e ans is as abv, wat is a non-commitment relationship for?? Why would anyone (Deeply In Love) wants such a relationship? -
my guess he's an indian... ...Originally posted by shirurinu:No la... not angmoh guys -
Understood. Back to TS's prob then.Originally posted by royale9:Woah. lol .
Sorry side track back abit.
Ordinaryguy32 pretty much grasped the idea behind it.
I think you get the idea - that proven principles are applicable in any age, era, timeline.... despite the changes in practices and beliefs. (With some exceptions)
Hmmm.. not a very satisfactory answer I believe. Anyway that's my view.
Anyway, I prefer to focus on the things within one's control than things that one has no control over.
CHeers
Ok. Better not hi-jack topic.
Back to TS's prob.
LOL
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hi all...a little update:
after hearing what forumers had to say about shirurinu's situation, especially what Ionlytalknoaction said abt true love...i have finally decided to wake up.
met her and ended the whole thing. told her we better not get involved in anything until she can commit. no point getting emotionally attached and hurting ourselves when the whole thing can fall apart any time.
now i need to go focus on my work to get my mind off her...
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wats her reaction?Originally posted by cutangle:hi all...a little update:
after hearing what forumers had to say about shirurinu's situation, especially what Ionlytalknoaction said abt true love...i have finally decided to wake up.
met her and ended the whole thing. told her we better not get involved in anything until she can commit. no point getting emotionally attached and hurting ourselves when the whole thing can fall apart any time.
now i need to go focus on my work to get my mind off her... -
Her reaction was lukewarm, which makes me realise how little i meant to her. No point continuing this one sided "relationship", building up my expectations alone and face major disappointment when she leaves.Originally posted by shirurinu:wats her reaction?
The forumers are right, I should have talked to her a long time ago about this to see how she really felt abt me. I should have stopped clinging so desperately to her and cheapening myself (no commitment relationship) just to have a chance with her. Better to wait for "true love" to come along than waste time/effort in this "fcked up love". -
Welcome to the club Cutangle, you've just earned yourself a badge in reality.Originally posted by cutangle:Her reaction was lukewarm, which makes me realise how little i meant to her. No point continuing this one sided "relationship", building up my expectations alone and face major disappointment when she leaves.
The forumers are right, I should have talked to her a long time ago about this to see how she really felt abt me. I should have stopped clinging so desperately to her and cheapening myself (no commitment relationship) just to have a chance with her. Better to wait for "true love" to come along than waste time/effort in this "fcked up love".