Just started.. how to maintain and keep it going?
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just keep giving without expecting return
dun ask anything from her or expect her to treat you better.
just do your part and let her do hers -
I did that once to a girl i was dating. She did not contact me for weeks! Needless to say, we soon went our separate ways...Originally posted by Aaron8209:try dun contact her for a while..see she will contact u ma..if nv means...she dun really mean abt this relationship..shes not serious towards u..
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HHAHAHAHH !! YOU GOT THE SAME SITUATION LIKE I DO LAST TIME !!Originally posted by Itachi:hi.. im currently attached wif a girl for like jus nearly 1mth. been going thru lots of problems already. really stressed up n painful sometimes. i've been sticking to her.. giving her alot of attention, care and concern. but i guess i've been too sticky.. till i feel tt she is starting to take me for granted.. she is now less sweet to me when we jus started. and i tink i need to give her more freedom n breathing space. so i try treating her less gd once in awhile, hoping tt she will appreciate me better. but all my attempt fail.. too soft hearted. haiz..
sometimes i just couldnt feel her love and appreciation. like i din receive as much as i gif. mayb it's jus the starting part, so we tend to expect more from each other. thru her experience... she dun1 us to put in 100% into the relationship. i duno ah.. sometimes i feel abit zhi zhuo duo qing lidat. stress myself.. den giving her stress oso when i tell her how i feel. now im worried abt how should i keep it going........ haiz..
Ok, newbie , let this ko ko teach you
Dun give her 100 % la..
Dun stick to her like a glue.. let things be natural.. like u n ur best guy fren.. Do u n ur guy best fren stick together like a glue ? No rite? but u all stil happy being with best fren ? yes rite? Tats y lor
U dun have to tell her everything that u feel.. just let her ask sometimes.. dun alwasy tell everything
My little bro, you know wat? You are being a Wussy.. and your gf is tired of it...your giving too much..let things be more natural.. shes already urs anyway..
And if you both got quarrel , just try to let her tell her prob, try to understand wat shes saying.. whn she tell u any prob.. u dun have to offer every solution.. Gals just wan to be heard.. thats all.. u listen, then give her a hug, then say i love you.. as simple as that my fren
And dont force a gal to go out with u or anything.. if they really say dun want.. just respect them..
do you call her everyday ? Yes? ok, its normal ... but is it for 1 hour everyday ?
Yes? ok, this is not good.. this can be very bothering sometimes...
Teach u la.. u can still call her everyday, but make it 5 mins or so.. just ask her how shes doin, is everything alrite? thats all.. then say i love u be4 u closed.. u dun have to say u miss her every second everyday.. its disgusting.. just say i love u .. enuff.. 3 words...
ok? u dun have to be like a timid cat wan her to know how much u love her.. no need... cuz your action is better.. your understanding is better ler.... i love u is enuff... dun tell more
I guess shes getting bored of you cuz why? she can predict wat ur goin to say... do something unpredictable n let her wonder...
Example, Lets say u call her everyday tellin gher u miss her like crazy n would die for her.. try this.. call her everyday, tell i love u, then how is she doin, then fine .. bb see you tomorrow. but dont sound like u dun care.. secret is .. be simple.. n let her feel secure that u still love her
And for you my fren, i thk ur gf is a practical minded gal.. i thk for this kind of gal.. they really need an understanding guy instead of sticking to her.. change your way man be4 its too late.. do more important things for your own instead of 24hours for her only.
I suggest u buy a book " Men from Mars, Women from Venus"
I bought it.. and i understand gal better now.. i looked back what i did wrong and seems like im sticking to her too much.. sometimes wat a gal tell you, you might interpret it differently from wat they think...
Conclusion:
1) Dun be a wussy (duno this word ? Find dictionary and web link to it and understand whats a Wussy)
2) be more undertanding, she doenst been sweeter like b4 perhaps she have some prob or something else.. Dun push her to tell any of her probs.. if a gal don wanna tell u , she wont. but it doesnt mean she doesnt love you .. remember that..
3) From wat i can see, seems like your gal is losing her attraction to you,, perhaps your being too sticky to her ? mayb.. Let me tell u something.. gal dont like any Wussy sticking around him .
You as a man , should do things more important to you..instead of sticking too much with her.. try do some plan for your own future.. and think bout wat u wan to do.. be more responsible and highly motivated.. This i believe is what a gal expect from their bf.. not a sticking like a glue 24/7, ok ?
Just do something different.. dont go to the same place.. saying the same word all over again..
Remember , she has her own world and you got your own.. Guy n gals world is different.. thats y i recommended you to read "Men from Mars, Women from Venus"
Good luck.. dun let her be so boring lol
Tell me whn you both get better.. cuz i wil be very happy if any of my advise here can help you.. Cuz you're my experiment rat !! Joking ! -
How many times u n her go out dating ?Originally posted by GoodBook:I did that once to a girl i was dating. She did not contact me for weeks! Needless to say, we soon went our separate ways...
U need to know the fact.. if a gal doesnt contact you for weeks , theres a reason:
a) Shes not interested and never think or miss you
b) She's too shy to call you
c) She;s expecting you to call. and if you dont call, she think your just playing around and not serious..
IF you went out with her many times alone... theres some chemical already. then the option that she never contact u is that shes too shy
IF you only went out with her once..
sory to say.. she thinks you as a fren and nothing more cuz u never take more action... -
Sory to hear that.. i thk ur gal just not the one for you...Originally posted by Itachi:okie.. thanks everyone for ur replies.. no need to maintain liao.. she's gone.. back to her ex..
I've beeen in your situation b4. Same things happened but only she left me bcuz she wan to continue studies overseas..
Deep pain ya..
Itachi, some gals out there know how to appreciate you.. find it..
.. im finding it too.. my ex just dun deserve my love.. i will only give my love to some1 who appreciated me... i believe shes only puppy love me.. but i loved her whole heartedly.. anyway, thats life, my fren..
Dun worry, U dont know if u will get a prettier and love you more than you love her nex time... for now. just concentrate your life on career for i believe a man should improve their career.. Be a man.. !
May all the best gal come to you, cheer out.. at least u knw you're not alone there facing this prob.. me too ^ ^ -
X2 very like your reply haha.................Originally posted by allentyb:
you must be another underage kid, who has not grow enough pubic hairs, and still want to engage in a relationship
focus on your studies first lah,
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Thanks alot.. for the long list of interesting advice.Originally posted by Zarks:HHAHAHAHH !! YOU GOT THE SAME SITUATION LIKE I DO LAST TIME !!
Ok, newbie , let this ko ko teach you
Dun give her 100 % la..
Dun stick to her like a glue.. let things be natural.. like u n ur best guy fren.. Do u n ur guy best fren stick together like a glue ? No rite? but u all stil happy being with best fren ? yes rite? Tats y lor
U dun have to tell her everything that u feel.. just let her ask sometimes.. dun alwasy tell everything
My little bro, you know wat? You are being a Wussy.. and your gf is tired of it...your giving too much..let things be more natural.. shes already urs anyway..
And if you both got quarrel , just try to let her tell her prob, try to understand wat shes saying.. whn she tell u any prob.. u dun have to offer every solution.. Gals just wan to be heard.. thats all.. u listen, then give her a hug, then say i love you.. as simple as that my fren
And dont force a gal to go out with u or anything.. if they really say dun want.. just respect them..
do you call her everyday ? Yes? ok, its normal ... but is it for 1 hour everyday ?
Yes? ok, this is not good.. this can be very bothering sometimes...
Teach u la.. u can still call her everyday, but make it 5 mins or so.. just ask her how shes doin, is everything alrite? thats all.. then say i love u be4 u closed.. u dun have to say u miss her every second everyday.. its disgusting.. just say i love u .. enuff.. 3 words...
ok? u dun have to be like a timid cat wan her to know how much u love her.. no need... cuz your action is better.. your understanding is better ler.... i love u is enuff... dun tell more
I guess shes getting bored of you cuz why? she can predict wat ur goin to say... do something unpredictable n let her wonder...
Example, Lets say u call her everyday tellin gher u miss her like crazy n would die for her.. try this.. call her everyday, tell i love u, then how is she doin, then fine .. bb see you tomorrow. but dont sound like u dun care.. secret is .. be simple.. n let her feel secure that u still love her
And for you my fren, i thk ur gf is a practical minded gal.. i thk for this kind of gal.. they really need an understanding guy instead of sticking to her.. change your way man be4 its too late.. do more important things for your own instead of 24hours for her only.
I suggest u buy a book " Men from Mars, Women from Venus"
I bought it.. and i understand gal better now.. i looked back what i did wrong and seems like im sticking to her too much.. sometimes wat a gal tell you, you might interpret it differently from wat they think...
Conclusion:
1) Dun be a wussy (duno this word ? Find dictionary and web link to it and understand whats a Wussy)
2) be more undertanding, she doenst been sweeter like b4 perhaps she have some prob or something else.. Dun push her to tell any of her probs.. if a gal don wanna tell u , she wont. but it doesnt mean she doesnt love you .. remember that..
3) From wat i can see, seems like your gal is losing her attraction to you,, perhaps your being too sticky to her ? mayb.. Let me tell u something.. gal dont like any Wussy sticking around him .
You as a man , should do things more important to you..instead of sticking too much with her.. try do some plan for your own future.. and think bout wat u wan to do.. be more responsible and highly motivated.. This i believe is what a gal expect from their bf.. not a sticking like a glue 24/7, ok ?
Just do something different.. dont go to the same place.. saying the same word all over again..
Remember , she has her own world and you got your own.. Guy n gals world is different.. thats y i recommended you to read "Men from Mars, Women from Venus"
Good luck.. dun let her be so boring lol
Tell me whn you both get better.. cuz i wil be very happy if any of my advise here can help you.. Cuz you're my experiment rat !! Joking !
but... WALAO EH Y NOW DEN U TELL ME!! she's gone already.. n attached back wif her ex she couldn't got over.. fcuk.. ahh.. but now still got contact her la.. sch mate, bo bian everyday will meet.. n still kinda close like any couple u r seeing in the public.. still abit sticky.. WHAT TO DO NEXT?! THE GUY IS OVERSEAS N COMING BACK ANYTIME..
i noe the sensible thing is to let go.. but i jus couldnt.. hai.. -
haiz.. feel so pathetic.. now wadeva she does.. is like fu yan wo lidat nia.. as in all done out of sympathy nia..
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Thanks for trying to help! Effort appreciated!Originally posted by Zarks:How many times u n her go out dating ?
U need to know the fact.. if a gal doesnt contact you for weeks , theres a reason:
a) Shes not interested and never think or miss you
b) She's too shy to call you
c) She;s expecting you to call. and if you dont call, she think your just playing around and not serious..
IF you went out with her many times alone... theres some chemical already. then the option that she never contact u is that shes too shy
IF you only went out with her once..
sory to say.. she thinks you as a fren and nothing more cuz u never take more action...
We went out many times alone and she is not the shy type. The situation was rather complicated. It'll be a long story if I post the details. -
chat with ur frens more. dun let ur life revolve arnd her only.Originally posted by Itachi:haiz.. feel so pathetic.. now wadeva she does.. is like fu yan wo lidat nia.. as in all done out of sympathy nia.. -
Originally posted by Itachi:hi.. im currently attached wif a girl for like jus nearly 1mth. been going thru lots of problems already. really stressed up n painful sometimes. i've been sticking to her.. giving her alot of attention, care and concern. but i guess i've been too sticky.. till i feel tt she is starting to take me for granted.. she is now less sweet to me when we jus started. and i tink i need to give her more freedom n breathing space. so i try treating her less gd once in awhile, hoping tt she will appreciate me better. but all my attempt fail.. too soft hearted. haiz..
sometimes i just couldnt feel her love and appreciation. like i din receive as much as i gif. mayb it's jus the starting part, so we tend to expect more from each other. thru her experience... she dun1 us to put in 100% into the relationship. i duno ah.. sometimes i feel abit zhi zhuo duo qing lidat. stress myself.. den giving her stress oso when i tell her how i feel. now im worried abt how should i keep it going........ haiz..
If such conflicts are even churning way before 1 month into the relationship (you mentioned that it's nearly 1 month, which means technically speaking, things probably surfaced just mere couple of weeks into your relationship), it might suggest that you two probably might not even be suitable to be together in the beginning or at least, be very prepared to face twice as many hurdles ahead if you are determined to pursue.
How I determined the intensity of a relationship is based on the rule of 3/6 (CloUdiSm): a couple of weeks after starting out is way too off.
It might be the point where you learn, but that's certainly not your end.
Cheers -
Sad to say, my friend, you are probably a rebound guy for her.Originally posted by Itachi:Thanks alot.. for the long list of interesting advice.
but... WALAO EH Y NOW DEN U TELL ME!! she's gone already.. n attached back wif her ex she couldn't got over.. fcuk.. ahh.. but now still got contact her la.. sch mate, bo bian everyday will meet.. n still kinda close like any couple u r seeing in the public.. still abit sticky.. WHAT TO DO NEXT?! THE GUY IS OVERSEAS N COMING BACK ANYTIME..
i noe the sensible thing is to let go.. but i jus couldnt.. hai..
She needs company and you need her. Just nice.. eh? You both need each other. Such is the nature of the game.
After the void is filled, there's no use for you anymore. In short there's no real love in this case except maybe from your part.
doko -
it ended already.. v hard to face it n get over it ah.. it's like after 2-3yrs of my previous relationship, finally found someone who open up n entered my heart.. n she just left like that.. immediately when the ex wanted her back.. really heart broken, hurt and pissed.. but im still treating her v nicely.. hai
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so true..Originally posted by dokono:Sad to say, my friend, you are probably a rebound guy for her.
She needs company and you need her. Just nice.. eh? You both need each other. Such is the nature of the game.
After the void is filled, there's no use for you anymore. In short there's no real love in this case except maybe from your part.
doko -
She won't be with her ex for long as well. They are just filling each other's void for the time being.Originally posted by Itachi:it ended already.. v hard to face it n get over it ah.. it's like after 2-3yrs of my previous relationship, finally found someone who open up n entered my heart.. n she just left like that.. immediately when the ex wanted her back.. really heart broken, hurt and pissed.. but im still treating her v nicely.. hai
Don't ever think of getting her back to be with you. In her mind, she has compared you and her ex. Obviously, her ex is better than you, right? So she goes back to him. It's only natural. Just accept this.
Therefore, do not allow this woman to go back to you again so you won't be hurt again. Once she's out, she is out forever. She has insulted you before so why would want to take her back again, right?
Find another girl. Don't rush into a relationship just because you are desperate for one. You don't know what scars and baggage they can carry into your life.
doko -
Hm not the shy type huh... Then somehting is bothering her:Originally posted by GoodBook:Thanks for trying to help! Effort appreciated!
We went out many times alone and she is not the shy type. The situation was rather complicated. It'll be a long story if I post the details.
a) Another guy who treated him good too
b) Studies , perhaps overseas in near future
c) Family
d) Religion ? lol -
Yea, i believe this is so true too.. thats y im single T_TOriginally posted by dokono:Sad to say, my friend, you are probably a rebound guy for her.
She needs company and you need her. Just nice.. eh? You both need each other. Such is the nature of the game.
After the void is filled, there's no use for you anymore. In short there's no real love in this case except maybe from your part.
doko
Thats why now im having fun learning all tricks to attract gal instead of finding real one... just the theory.. never practice it yet.. Practice makes perferct ! -
Dokono seems so understanding... experienced b4? :pOriginally posted by dokono:She won't be with her ex for long as well. They are just filling each other's void for the time being.
Don't ever think of getting her back to be with you. In her mind, she has compared you and her ex. Obviously, her ex is better than you, right? So she goes back to him. It's only natural. Just accept this.
Therefore, do not allow this woman to go back to you again so you won't be hurt again. Once she's out, she is out forever. She has insulted you before so why would want to take her back again, right?
Find another girl. Don't rush into a relationship just because you are desperate for one. You don't know what scars and baggage they can carry into your life.
doko -
I think it's better to think focus on yourself la..instead of learning all those tricks. After all, you can't keep doing all those tricks your whole life. You will be very tired.Originally posted by Zarks:Yea, i believe this is so true too.. thats y im single T_T
Thats why now im having fun learning all tricks to attract gal instead of finding real one... just the theory.. never practice it yet.. Practice makes perferct !
Focus more on how to socialise and talk to people. Learn how to make people happy, boys and girls. Focus more on how to be a people person. You can learn all these only through experience.
Lastly, don't take life too seriously and enjoy yourself!
doko -
Experiences help but Im also a deep thinker... coupled with the fact that many people faced similar situations. So we are not alone.Originally posted by Zarks:Dokono seems so understanding... experienced b4? :p
doko -
ITs normal one my fren..Originally posted by Itachi:it ended already.. v hard to face it n get over it ah.. it's like after 2-3yrs of my previous relationship, finally found someone who open up n entered my heart.. n she just left like that.. immediately when the ex wanted her back.. really heart broken, hurt and pissed.. but im still treating her v nicely.. hai
Try to think this positively.. not the negative way
Yes, its sad she be together with her ex again.. and at least she ended up r/s with you rather than sticking to you n still contacting her ex without ur knowledge.. there's one good thing that u and her already broke up..
I;ve been researching on how to know if a gal really love some1:
1) Some gal put their bf's name in MSN or watever... eg, I Love XXX!!! < -so ricidulous. But it happens
2) Always talk bout their bf whn they are with frens ( for some ridiculous gal)
3) Never ignore you even though they are BUSY like hell
4) The gal wil sure FIND someway to get in touch with you, not to wait for you to do the calling all day
5) NEver ever treat you like a stranger
6) Very care bout how you feel
7) Always ask how are you doing instead of talking bout their life story
You're always No.1 in list (except if there's something urgent)
9) When you call her, you can know whether shes happy to have you call or just like normal frens.. Example: Halo~ (with boring tone) but beware, normal happy frens will be like that too
10) They tell u everything
btw, all above can also apply to best gal frens... only one thing different is that the caring they show.. how they care is the most important thing to notice.. cuz no one can lie bout this.. i mean if you really care for anyone, your face shows it all...
Itachi, relax.. You can use your Sharingan Eyes to manipulate any gals.. Just let her go... and dun go back to her or trying to be too nice or caring to her again.. She betrayed you and if you still be too nice or a Wussy to her again, she cant help it but to think your pathetic and what she can do is just smpathy on you and hope you grow up... this is very true, my fren... or you wan to get her back with your Sharingan Eyes and torture her into illusion 24/7 ?
Easy, if you got some maniac fren who likes to have fun, ask them out n try to get to knw any gal in shopping mall or watsoever.. fun.. -
Yea, my fren..Originally posted by dokono:Experiences help but Im also a deep thinker... coupled with the fact that many people faced similar situations. So we are not alone.
doko
Seems like we who are experienced know the pattern of gals who dun really love us.. seems we all have same situation..
SO, positively, we already awake and have better intepretation of knowing which gal really likes us or just wan us to fill their lonely life..
This is a good lesson which some of other ppl dont have..
TOnite !! WE flirt in hell !! -
Lol, i am focusing on my career, btw i learn the tricks just for fun.. its not like im 100% into this n go flirt all gal i see... just for fun lol... but perhaps i will just apply wat i learn to the gals i like.. felt ridiculous to go n flirt all gals..Originally posted by dokono:I think it's better to think focus on yourself la..instead of learning all those tricks. After all, you can't keep doing all those tricks your whole life. You will be very tired.
Focus more on how to socialise and talk to people. Learn how to make people happy, boys and girls. Focus more on how to be a people person. You can learn all these only through experience.
Lastly, don't take life too seriously and enjoy yourself!
doko
PLus im too busy to flirt any gal..
Just my bad luck, the gals i kinda like always have some 1 in their mind.. and whn they always give excuses of not goin out with u , then u shud knw already la.. -
hmm.. it mus be fun to haf many girls going crazy for u.. mayb shld realli learn how to attract and play around. coz i dun mix alot wif girls unless im serious abt the particular one.. meanwhile jus try to get over bah.. den can sing this song
http://www.lyricsdomain.com/7/gloria_gaynor/i_will_survive.html -
Just get to knw more gals and how to talk to them, not really to ask you get to knw a gal then u court her n hoping she become your one...Originally posted by Itachi:hmm.. it mus be fun to haf many girls going crazy for u.. mayb shld realli learn how to attract and play around. coz i dun mix alot wif girls unless im serious abt the particular one.. meanwhile jus try to get over bah.. den can sing this song
http://www.lyricsdomain.com/7/gloria_gaynor/i_will_survive.html
Take your time knwing gals... no need to rush.. like what im doin now ahahah.. by then u can get to know how gal thinks
STudies 1st for you, when you got free time, just enjoy chatting with your gal frens and tease them for fun