man in despair ..
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I got a colleague ( my subordinate ) who have broken up with his girlfriend. Cannot take it and lost all concentration to work what so ever. I was very worried about his well being, so I gave him time to recover. However, as much as I want to help him, he have to help himself. Till today, almost two months leow, his work did not improve and worst still, he is on mc so frenquent, I now cannot explain how I can still let him behave like this to his superior. His superior is thinking I am sideing him too much now and even argued with me on this attitude on many occasions. I think I have to be fair to the company and would like to do some drastic. But for a man just fallen out of love, any setback will be harder for him to accept right? Guys, what should I do ?
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I forget to add that my Company set up here is very small and labour very tight. Currently I have five staff doing the work of 6 staffs. Today, with him gone, I only got two staff as another two went on leave and one on mc. ( high fever ). His superior have to stand in to take his place and at the same time, help me with day to day work. I know if staff can provide mc, there is nothing we can do, but this guy will sms to say go mc and cannot produce mc, then he will apply leave.. even that I have to be chased for his leave submission. Can a man in despair now be so un-reasonable and irresponsible? What ever happen to integrity now ?
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Have a good talk with him. Tell him although you sympathise with him, his work attitude has to improve cos he is letting his colleagues down.
Tell him to get over it & come back to work else he gets the sack! -
U are the superior. U do what u have to do for the company and the better of the team. Tell him he cannot let his emotions affect his work and day to day decisions. If he is unable to control then u have to let him go. If he chooses to destroy his own future then so be it.
Since its already been to months. I suggest u remove him. Anyone who becomes extra baggage to the team or a liability is deemed unfit to work with you and for you and as a team. You gotta think of yourself and your company. Not for him. -
Suggest you talk to him about the consequences of his actions.
Identify the true cause of his problems.
If it's still about his relationship.
Ask him to go see a psychiatrist to get past his depression.
It's been months, don't think it's just a simple depressive episode.
People can do foolish things if they have depression, I had a friend who took his life because of that.
If you are a friend, try not to make things too difficult for him as it is.
For all you know, losing his job could be the final straw for him to end his life.
Wish your colleague well. -
Deep inside I got this same thinking but feel it is a bit cruel to act, afterall, I have the same problem when I was young. But then, I divert all my energy to work to forget that relationship.. hmmmmmmm .... I write in here because he had also joined this forum. I hope he can read for himself your comments too .. I think I will do what you say - talk to him again. thanks .Originally posted by BadzMaro:U are the superior. U do what u have to do for the company and the better of the team. Tell him he cannot let his emotions affect his work and day to day decisions. If he is unable to control then u have to let him go. If he chooses to destroy his own future then so be it.
Since its already been to months. I suggest u remove him. Anyone who becomes extra baggage to the team or a liability is deemed unfit to work with you and for you and as a team. You gotta think of yourself and your company. Not for him. -
Why ask guy only, another gender discrimination.Originally posted by ahshuiger:I got a colleague ( my subordinate ) who have broken up with his girlfriend. Cannot take it and lost all concentration to work what so ever. I was very worried about his well being, so I gave him time to recover. However, as much as I want to help him, he have to help himself. Till today, almost two months leow, his work did not improve and worst still, he is on mc so frenquent, I now cannot explain how I can still let him behave like this to his superior. His superior is thinking I am sideing him too much now and even argued with me on this attitude on many occasions. I think I have to be fair to the company and would like to do some drastic. But for a man just fallen out of love, any setback will be harder for him to accept right? Guys, what should I do ?
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if you are the employer, suggest u have a heart to heart talk with him.....it is nice that ur already being so understanding, but things cannot go on like this....he needs to make that decision on whether to stay on in the job or not....pls do not fire him
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Don't be too harsh on him, sometimes when depression sets in, it's difficult to break free from it's grip.
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1) Is he good in his work before this happens?Originally posted by ahshuiger:I forget to add that my Company set up here is very small and labour very tight. Currently I have five staff doing the work of 6 staffs. Today, with him gone, I only got two staff as another two went on leave and one on mc. ( high fever ). His superior have to stand in to take his place and at the same time, help me with day to day work. I know if staff can provide mc, there is nothing we can do, but this guy will sms to say go mc and cannot produce mc, then he will apply leave.. even that I have to be chased for his leave submission. Can a man in despair now be so un-reasonable and irresponsible? What ever happen to integrity now ?
2) Is he always taking mc?
3) Can his work scope be replace by another worker asap, if you asked him to go? -
Well, let me put it this way, I do not have any problem with him at all and I can trust him to do his work, now it is the other way round.Originally posted by zeny:1) Is he good in his work before this happens?
2) Is he always taking mc?
3) Can his work scope be replace by another worker asap, if you asked him to go? -
We are working in all male environment. sad to say, if there is a female around, I am sure the morale of the staff would be better ... sigh . .Originally posted by angel7030:Why ask guy only, another gender discrimination. 
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I am not his employer but is working with him.. thing is, it never cross my mind to fire him. .. but I am under pressure to do . . . we are already so short of staff . . .Originally posted by de_middle:if you are the employer, suggest u have a heart to heart talk with him.....it is nice that ur already being so understanding, but things cannot go on like this....he needs to make that decision on whether to stay on in the job or not....pls do not fire him -
Just sack him la..... wth... break up with gf.. need to be so emo for 2 months mehOriginally posted by ahshuiger:I forget to add that my Company set up here is very small and labour very tight. Currently I have five staff doing the work of 6 staffs. Today, with him gone, I only got two staff as another two went on leave and one on mc. ( high fever ). His superior have to stand in to take his place and at the same time, help me with day to day work. I know if staff can provide mc, there is nothing we can do, but this guy will sms to say go mc and cannot produce mc, then he will apply leave.. even that I have to be chased for his leave submission. Can a man in despair now be so un-reasonable and irresponsible? What ever happen to integrity now ?
i think he do it purposely one -- i.e. making use of ur sympathy. -
you are right and I understand too .. but who is going to understand me ? ..Originally posted by maurizio13:Don't be too harsh on him, sometimes when depression sets in, it's difficult to break free from it's grip. -
It's difficult being sandwiched in between.Originally posted by ahshuiger:you are right and I understand too .. but who is going to understand me ? ..
But suggest you talk to him first, afew months of depression, I think he's just stuck in that phase right now.
I still recommend he see a psychologist or psychiatrist to get past his depressive episode.
If it ever comes to the point where you need to fire him, suggest you talk to your senior about his situation first.
I don't want to see another person lose his life. Him losing his job could be the trigger point that makes him take his life.
It really depends on what you want also, helping another person or otherwise.
Another question is, do you think you can accept it if he's been terminated and he takes his life?
Anyway, tread carefully, think carefully before you act. -
I think that you are a nice boss who understand your man well but you must understand is a two way traffic.Originally posted by ahshuiger:you are right and I understand too .. but who is going to understand me ? ..
I learn the hard way about not mixing love and work.
I remember my first job I was working very hard for the company and my boss was very please with me, until one day i broke up with my ex. I only took 2 days leave and kena fired for not doing my work and lazy.
I hated my boss back then, I had to support my family and he just fired me just like that. For months 1 had to live on my savings and kept looking for a job. Finally got a job I wanted and was able to surive. I will never forget the painfull lesson I have learnt.
Looking back if i was not fired from that job I will never learn how to keep love affairs out of my life.
Now that I am in a higher level position, I can understand from my ex boss point of view, if he never fired me I will not learn.
To be kind to your staff maybe good in short term but will it do any good in the long term? -
Your's was a 2 day absence, this guy has been having depression for 2 months. Don't play the devil's advocate in this, if this person is fired from his job and takes his life, you are stained with his death. Each individual is different, what is norm for you might not be norm for someone else. Doesn't mean you take 1 week to forget your ex-gf, it will apply to everybody else.Originally posted by zeny:I think that you are a nice boss who understand your man well but you must understand is a two way traffic.
I learn the hard way about not mixing love and work.
I remember my first job I was working very hard for the company and my boss was very please with me, until one day i broke up with my ex. I only took 2 days leave and kena fired for not doing my work and lazy.
I hated my boss back then, I had to support my family and he just fired me just like that. For months 1 had to live on my savings and kept looking for a job. Finally got a job I wanted and was able to surive. I will never forget the painfull lesson I have learnt.
Looking back if i was not fired from that job I will never learn how to keep love affairs out of my life.
Now that I am in a higher level position, I can understand from my ex boss point of view, if he never fired me I will not learn.
To be kind to your staff maybe good in short term but will it do any good in the long term? -
He can only help so much. But if he refuses to budge or open his eyes , then like a cancer in the company u have to get rid of it. Cant allow an employee bogging you down , disrupting the whole system and the team and becoming a liability to others. Every individual is different , but then its also up the the individual to make choices for himself instead of being spoon-fed. If i were TS i wouldve removed him in the first 2 weeks already.Originally posted by maurizio13:Your's was a 2 day absence, this guy has been having depression for 2 months. Don't play the devil's advocate in this, if this person is fired from his job and takes his life, you are stained with his death. Each individual is different, what is norm for you might not be norm for someone else. Doesn't mean you take 1 week to forget your ex-gf, it will apply to everybody else.
in that case the ex-GF is to blame for his depression hence causing TS to fire him and taking his own life. This will never end. -
Thank you. They say, " to be kind, sometime you have to be cruel .. " they must have their reason...Originally posted by zeny:I think that you are a nice boss who understand your man well but you must understand is a two way traffic.
I learn the hard way about not mixing love and work.
I remember my first job I was working very hard for the company and my boss was very please with me, until one day i broke up with my ex. I only took 2 days leave and kena fired for not doing my work and lazy.
I hated my boss back then, I had to support my family and he just fired me just like that. For months 1 had to live on my savings and kept looking for a job. Finally got a job I wanted and was able to surive. I will never forget the painfull lesson I have learnt.
Looking back if i was not fired from that job I will never learn how to keep love affairs out of my life.
Now that I am in a higher level position, I can understand from my ex boss point of view, if he never fired me I will not learn.
To be kind to your staff maybe good in short term but will it do any good in the long term? -
Most Singaporeans don't understand depression, it's not a matter of him refusing to budge, but sometimes when someone is overcome with depression, they are unable to. I have had 2 friends with depression, one took his life afew years back, another is still managing it. It's not so easy as to just snap out of it (depression).Originally posted by BadzMaro:He can only help so much. But if he refuses to budge or open his eyes , then like a cancer in the company u have to get rid of it. Cant allow an employee bogging you down , disrupting the whole system and the team and becoming a liability to others. Every individual is different , but then its also up the the individual to make choices for himself instead of being spoon-fed. If i were TS i wouldve removed him in the first 2 weeks already.
in that case the ex-GF is to blame for his depression hence causing TS to fire him and taking his own life. This will never end.
If you value your company more than a person's life than do as you may. After all this is Singapore, where money comes first and humanity comes last. Sometimes it's tiring to talk with typical Singaporeans, they place money above everything else. It's sad to see society degenerate to greed.
Sometimes I wonder, what is the price of a human life??? -
Give him a warning and sack him.
This year I have shown four employees the door just to keep the peace and unity within my organisation. Its not an easy job yet sometimes we have to be cruel. -
I supposed, to each and individual they have their own value and thinking. Are they all wrong ? Or are they all right ? It's all depend on individual, situation and I supposed the outcome. If nothing harm comes out of it, then it would deem to be ok.. supposed if the same thing but undesire consequences like , that guys decided to end his life after being fired, can we say it is the girl friend fault that causes it or I who fire him. Or that it is really no one else fault except for himself who made that decision.. I am in a dilemma. 25 years ago, I broke with a girl I truely loves. We did not communicated well and understood each other. We departed, but for these 25 years I had never forgotten her and think of her everyday. I suffered in silence. Life goes on and only recently we met and we pour out. It turn out for the last 25 years, she is also still loving me. We are meeting everyday althought we are both married with someone else. Now the question again, am I right or wrong now to meet her ?Originally posted by maurizio13:Most Singaporeans don't understand depression, it's not a matter of him refusing to budge, but sometimes when someone is overcome with depression, they are unable to. I have had 2 friends with depression, one took his life afew years back, another is still managing it. It's not so easy as to just snap out of it (depression).
If you value your company more than a person's life than do as you may. After all this is Singapore, where money comes first and humanity comes last. Sometimes it's tiring to talk with typical Singaporeans, they place money above everything else. It's sad to see society degenerate to greed.
Sometimes I wonder, what is the price of a human life???
Looking back, I understand my staff broken relationship. Zeny understand too. Like Zeny, I don't think I had disrupted my work back then . So in this case, I cannot be a better judge. Hence, I am writing in to seek opionion. It does look like most is in favor of removing him ... -
Then do as you deem fit. After all his blood is not going to be in my hands.Originally posted by ahshuiger:I supposed, to each and individual they have their own value and thinking. Are they all wrong ? Or are they all right ? It's all depend on individual, situation and I supposed the outcome. If nothing harm comes out of it, then it would deem to be ok.. supposed if the same thing but undesire consequences like , that guys decided to end his life after being fired, can we say it is the girl friend fault that causes it or I who fire him. Or that it is really no one else fault except for himself who made that decision.. I am in a dilemma. 25 years ago, I broke with a girl I truely loves. We did not communicated well and understood each other. We departed, but for these 25 years I had never forgotten her and think of her everyday. I suffered in silence. Life goes on and only recently we met and we pour out. It turn out for the last 25 years, she is also still loving me. We are meeting everyday althought we are both married with someone else. Now the question again, am I right or wrong now to meet her ?
Looking back, I understand my staff broken relationship. Zeny understand too. Like Zeny, I don't think I had disrupted my work back then . So in this case, I cannot be a better judge. Hence, I am writing in to seek opionion. It does look like most is in favor of removing him ...
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True enough one must value human life. But I am sure in any company he will be fired by now. 2 months of sloppy work couple with on and off mc without producing a valid mc. Lying to the company is enough to let him go.
What type of example is the colleague setting for others?
Now yr superior is over work, i am sure he is unhappy is it possible for an amicable r/s to exist between yr coworker and the superior?
i suggest that u talk to yr friend straight away and tell him the mess he is in.