Someone help me!
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Colin, thanks for sharing your experience with us. It was enriching.
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I'm just a guy with his own set of worries, woes and problems to solve in life (read my other post).Originally posted by xavier1979:Colin, thanks for sharing your experience with us. It was enriching.
If my words or actions can help better or change the life of someone else, I would be happy for that person. Even if it were just a flicker of hope, that would be enough.
Regards, Colin Teo -
Hey, thanks for your short and nice story. I haven't given up hope, maybe yet. But I'm just taking time off, maybe things can get better after this "sway season".Originally posted by colinteo:Hi H_Koala,
Don't feel sad, or dejected that you have not found the right girl. I nkow it's easier said that done.
Let me share my story with you.
From a rather tender age, things started out for me as puppy love. I see someone whom I think I like and I try to "chase" her. Well, I never really got together with anyone that way.
As the years went by, going through Sec Sch, I thought I really liked someone and made efforts to let her know that I liked her. It was still puppy love. The same happened in JC days. I think you're getting the picture.
Then in my NS days, I met a Malaysian girl. We hit it off quite well. I even called her occasionally over the phone to her place in KL (cost me a lot of NS pay). But that taught how to talk with a girl over the phone (with the short 5min we had each time coz I only could afford $5 phone cards).
That "relationship" (if you can even call it one) didn't last very long.
I then met a church girl in my NS days. I thought she was the one for me. In the end, found out she was only interested in getting me to go to her church (I was "abandoned" once we reached the destination).
Life went on and I was in my NUS days. I met some girls, not for anything but just friends. I liked some of them, but never asked any if we could go steady. Then in my 3rd year, I met a junior. I thought we really had something going. She was nice and all. We went out together sometimes after school. But when I asked her to be my girlfriend, she told me she had boyfriend already (but was going to breakup). So I waited with patience. One day after exams, she left me a note. It was to end our "relationship".
So you see, to that point, I've never really been in a real relationship. Before any could really take off, it already crashed and burned.
Later on, I met someone. We got along very well. We could share happy moments and sad moments together. But at the back of my mind was the preparation that we might not even last beyond this. I was preparing myself for rejection. That way, I wouldn't feel hurt if things didn't work out. I just played the normal guy and was myself all the time. No longer was I all out to impress the girl. I just decided to be myself.
And lo behold, over time, we grew closer and closer and finally now, we are a couple.
The point I'm trying to make is that you don't have to feel sad or miserable that a relationship does not take off. Trust that there will be someone out there for you eventually. You just haven't met her yet.
That was how I found my girlfriend.
I hope this helps.
Regards, Colin Teo
Good lucks with your gf. -
Take your time. I do not know what age you are, but all I can say is these things take time and the best relationships are those that just happen (trust me, they do). You just need to be able to see beyond what your eyes tell you.Originally posted by Hawaiian Koa:Hey, thanks for your short and nice story. I haven't given up hope, maybe yet. But I'm just taking time off, maybe things can get better after this "sway season".
Good lucks with your gf.
I have my own set of problems in life. You can read about them at In debt and in need of more jobs to do.
Take heart, things will work out one day. The sadness will pass by after a while (in a way, you get used to it after a while too). And when the right girl finally walks into your life, you'll be on top of the world.
Just lessons and experiences of life.
Regards, Colin Teo -
You not worse my friend chase 9 girls all hv stead one haiz.. going the tenth time soon...Originally posted by swatchie:We are in the same boat man. Heh. Except that it happened to me 6 times.
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A point to ponder.
i feel that relationship are pretty much selfish acts. we all look for someone who can fill the void and gap which we so desire in our own hearts.
i've never see a balance relation before, in which they both love each other equally much. it's usually one will love the other more. one wil foreva be giving more then the other.
when going into a relation, sometime we juz look if the other can fufill out our need and then we decide tat it will work or give the guy/ger a chance. once the need/want/desire is reached, the relation sometimes doesn't seem to grow anymore and this is where it's either we call it quits or we suffer till we snap.
i've been thru quite a few relations where i really gave all my heart and no good ending was made. therefore i tink to say that there is true love, i dun tink so. -
Think in terms of the 'see-saw' above...? You try pushing it down all the way... Your partner would only be left on top..? Give both parties a fair chance at the moments of UPs and DOWNs (give & take).... The more FORCE you applied, the MORE FORCE required by your partner to get the 'down' (give) position.... It would be a very tiring thing especially when you're the one trying to catch up...? DO YOU LOVE your gf? I can mainly see 2 choices for her.... 1. TRY, WORN OUT in trying to love you as much.... 2. GIVE UP... Because she can never love you as much...?Originally posted by Retrac:i've never see a balance relation before, in which they both love each other equally much.
That's because it's kinda impossible to have an EQUAL LOVE... Life itself is everchanging and not still... Not to mention LOVE? You can have a BALANCED RELATIONSHIP, but that doesn't mean that it has to be EQUAL.... It's an equilibrium thing... EQUILIBRIUM SYSTEM doesn't mean that things are all EQUAL. It just means that there's always to and fore... Forming sort of like a 'balanced network'....
it's usually one will love the other more. one wil foreva be giving more then the other.
Love is more like a see-saw which constantly goes up and down rather than a balanced and still lever... If it's just a STILL lever, then all the effects contributed by both parties would go into maintaining the relatoinship at its PERFECT STILLNESS... That happens in Life... Both parties simply get worn out with time... What they were trying to maintain was in fact a PERFECT BALANCED MUTUAL RELATIONSHIP.... Not LOVE RELATIONSHIP... Don't fall for this common mentality and DELUSION....
LOVE relationship is more like a see-saw... Everchanging ups and downs.... Some fast paced while others rocking gently.... Because of the excitements in its vigorous rocking... Because of its smoothness in its gentle wave rocks... That's why people are interested and caught within.... In such a relationship, sometimes you take more... Sometimes you give more.... Perhaps... Just maybe perhaps...? At times there'll be 'balanced moments'... Where love taken = love given (probably just a very short insignificant moment caused by randomness...) But like we've agreed earlier.... It doesn't really matter... As love is not about looking of such....
i've been thru quite a few relations where i really gave all my heart and no good ending was made. therefore i tink to say that there is true love, i dun tink so.
And by the way... Who told you that TRUE LOVE would naturally leads to HAPPY ENDING.... Sometimes even a good man can't escape a tragic death....?